Steve says: BB is still kinda mad that you guys tried to kill her last time. She made this chapter only grudgingly and I'm still trying to get her out of her room. *BB walks by in fuzzy bunny slippers with a carton of ice cream. A pretzel is hanging from her mouth and her hair hasn't been combed in days*.
BB: sup Steve.
…. WHAT THE HELL? Do your own intro you crazy witch!
BB: Meanie! I was just hungry is all. You know hunger makes me cranky! You're so fired. But since you make good pancakes you're re-hired ^^. To the kitchen with you.
Rating: Still Teen. Unless Steve changed it.
Steve: I hate you!
Shut up man-slave and make me pancakes!
Disclaimer: It is warm this morning. But that is not strange. The weather has been fluctuating the past few months like it always does this time of year, and the residents have learned to deal with such weather using a weary eye and preparation for rain. A window on the second floor of the building is opened, moist breezes edging through the screen and into the room shared by two young women. The sun brushes the crown of the day as birds begin to call to each other. One of the women -the shorter, younger of the two- is at her desk, softly snoring on her keyboard. She is successful; her paper is finished, proofread, and ready to be printed. On her fourth proofreading attempt she had fallen asleep.
Beep.
Beep!
BEEP! It becomes impossible to ignore the sound of her clock any longer. She pries open deep brown eyes with a moan, regretting that three hours of sleep would have to sustain her for the day. She silences the annoying ringing before her sleeping roommate wakes, and stretches in the languid way of cats. But now she sees the time.
She prints the paper as she leaps into the shower, five minutes is enough to get fairly clean. Messy ebony hair is tossed into a ponytail as the final page is created. She does a strange dance, pulling on jeans as a toothbrush hangs out of her mouth and a shirt is clutched in her hand. She doesn't want to be late. Tardiness is close to failure, and for the child of with a business minded mother anything less than amazing is not an option. She gathers the essay quickly, shoves it into her binder and slides on sandals. Out the door she goes.
A sheet (not part of her term paper) falls to the ground. She wrote a message to remind herself of two facts.
BB doesn't own D. Gray-Man. Nor does she own "January Brings the Snow."
"Brown October brings the pheasant/then to gather nuts is pleasant,"
~ Sara Coleridge
"Look at me! Hey! Hey Z!" The grin was wide, white teeth gleaming as the ladder rolled around the floor of the library. A powerful tanned hand gripped a high rung carelessly as he sped along the edges of the sitting area. They were more or less alone in the large room, and Z had leapt upon the chance to finish her book. She should've taken it back to her room. Because while she had the books all to herself for the first ten minutes, it wasn't long before Bookman junior wandered in.
He had been sent on a research assignment, a directive given to him that he was content to follow. But the opportunity to brighten Z's day (in his own opinion) was much too pleasing to ignore. He could totally tell when she was trying not to laugh.
This was not one of those times. She really was getting aggravated.
"Z," the whining way he said her name set the girl's nerves on edge, an eye twitching behind her reading glasses. She snarled and flipped the page of her book with more aggression than necessary. It almost ripped. If she got up to leave now he would only follow. She honestly didn't feel like listening to him lope behind her, chattering incessantly.
Not that he was being particularly silent at the moment.
"I'm serious! Lookit what I can do!" She rolled her eyes and gripped her book tighter. Looking would only encourage him, looking would only encourage him, looking would only encourage him…
"Not cool! This is harder than it looks." Z slammed her book shut. "Shut your mouth lapin stupide (stupid rabbit)! Keep going and I swear to God I'll go find Bookman to bury you in work!"
"That's so cruel-" His comment ended in a yelp, the redhead finally losing his balance and falling from his incredibly illogical mode of transportation. A dull thwack echoed as his body met the floor. "Ow," Lavi called, both pathetic and over exaggerated. Z sighed, shook her head. She opened her book and attempted to find her page.
"Ow," he cried again, louder. Z ignored him.
"Ouchy, owwwwwwww…." Ignore.
"Z, I think I broke my ass."
"If I get the nurse you'll never learn."
"You're so mean to me. All the time."
"Only when you're an idiot. Now suffer quietly; I'm trying to read." Several moments passed, and Z was able to read to the next five pages before hearing the door open and shut.
Finally.
He'd be pouting for a few hours, but would quickly become distracted. It was never hard to get Lavi to forgive. Z's lips twitched, trying to climb into a smile at the thought of the boy's good humor. She really was too cruel to him.
She uncrossed and re-crossed her legs, allowing her body to settle into the couch's cushions lazily. Now to read of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy.
Footsteps. She growled low in her throat. "Damn it Lavi. I don't care about your ass!"
"I should hope not. My ass is the only one you should care about." Z started at the voice but relaxed when his hand brushed the top of her head.
"Don't flatter yourself." Her snort lacked passion, the words blending on the page as his very presence affected her. He walked into her line of sight and she forced herself to ignore him even, as her body heated in anticipation. "You didn't notice I'm back early."
"I didn't care if you came back at all." It didn't help her concentration when a hand covered her book, gently tugging it from her pliant fingers. "Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice? Doesn't seem like your type of literature. I figured you were more of a Medea girl." Z looked away in slight embarrassment. Being drawn into romantic fantasy was a secret shame of hers, one he openly and carelessly mocked whenever he caught her reading of mindless affections. "Bite me." His grey eyes flashed. He had been waiting for her to say that.
The book was on the floor, his hand was on her arm, and he was yanking her to her feet. "Don't mind if I do," he hummed onto her lips just before pressing in for a fierce kiss. Z quickly relaxed in his arms, hands coming to rest on his biceps. His mouth moved against hers in sweet affection, his clothes still smelling of sweat and adrenaline from his mission. He nibbled her bottom lip before pulling away and leaving her breathless. Locked in his arms, she listened to his heart as his thumbs rubbed her back.
"I suppose you want me to ask how it went."
"I want you to, but you wouldn't mean it." She brought a hand to the base of his skull, combing through his hair tenderly. "You're back, aren't you?" Z made her voice gentle, a strange contradiction to her usual steel. "That means it was a success." He snorted. Casualties, akuma souls, injuries, all seemed to fade as he pulled her close to his warmth, surrounding her with his strength and light. All his love.
No. Please, no.
It was a numbness she just couldn't ignore, or possibly his body temperature was lower (but just) than usual. She want to remain ignorant, believe this was truly hers. This was what she wanted, what her body and soul demanded. But Z wasn't stupid. She wasn't blind.
"Allen," his name, after so long of silence, reverberated into their embrace.
"Zahara," he pressed his lips to her jaw bone as he whispered her name. Bittersweet sorrow rang through her, an ache that was growing quite tiresome. Could this have been? At another time maybe. Another Allen.
"Why are you doing this?" She pushed him away, but he went no further than a few inches. She could still faintly feel his breath on her face as he looked her in the eyes. His mouth contorted into an unsure smile. "I'm sorry. I thought it was appropriate to embrace my sweetheart upon my return." She frowned, eyes shadowed by ebony curls as she continued to resist. She had hated that name, her memories told her, ever since he had first used it a few months into their relationship. As hard as she tried, she just couldn't remember the exact occasion on which he had granted her the endearment. She couldn't remember anything, really. There were holes in this. The boy in her arms was transparent.
A boy she had known since girlhood, son of the man who had adopted her and allowed her to travel with them…
No.
The boy who brought her to the Order after their master abandoned them…
When did…?
Her first kiss. Christmas morning. He was shaking as he handed her a gift of expensive perfumes and lotions. Blushing down at their holiday meal of pheasant and potatoes and carrots (of course his plate held much more) as she remained silent. Accepting her lips when she turned to him.
That didn't happen.
Z's fingers trailed down, over scarred arms and to her own back, where his hands were folded behind her. Her eyes burned as she pried them apart and stepped from him.
"What is this?" Allen blinked, reaching for her only to be slapped away. His face was hurt. "I'm back from a mission. I wanted to see you."
"No…"
"No? What's wrong? Did I do something? Are you sick?"
"Stay away…"
"You're scaring me, Z. Please talk to me. I love you."
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" The frantic gypsy tossed him back with Beastly Beauty's strength. Allen but not Allen was sent into a bookcase, falling to the floor with a gasp of pain and surprise.
Z had to stop herself from running to him.
"What is this?" She asked again, voice shaking. He just gazed up at her as she approached with her Innocence at the ready. His eyes were dead, his mouth was a smile, his head was tilted to the side in confusion.
"Answer me!" Z screeched. A super strong hand grabbed the boy's throat. "You have five seconds to tell who you are and where I am."
Like the time they were trapped in an ice storm and she huddled close because…
"Stop!"
And of course he got her something for their three month anniversary. That lovely silver chain with the little sapphire heart…
"Liar!"
He loved her. He loved her so much. He'll never stop. She just has to be his. Forever and ever and ever and ever and….
"STOP IT!" She threw the boy to the side, clutching her head. These weren't her memories, this wasn't her world, this wasn't right. Why was this happening?
Z startled as the imposter stood, his face serious as he dusted himself off. She balled her fists in preparation as he began to walk towards her, only to stop several feet away.
"Zahara," the voice was emotionless but decidedly Allen. He held out a hand to her. "Come to me." She frowned despite her quivering legs. "No."
"It wasn't a question."
The library surrounding them began to fade. The warm tan of the shelves, the colorful spines of the books, everything began to degrade into shades of gray and black and dingy brown. Z turned for the door, only to find it gone. The boy spoke as though reading her mind. "You cannot leave. You must stay."
"Like Hell," came her hissed reply.
"You must. So that I may protect you." The fake Allen wasn't fading, at least not in the same way the rest of the room was. Only his eyes were affected, the soft and gentle blue-gray morphing into a stoic teal. Without pupils. A very familiar glow Z couldn't put her finger on with her mind in such disarray.
"Let me out. Now."
"You cannot leave."
"Let me out!" He used more speed than Z had ever seen Allen exhibit, grabbing her wrists in a firm but gentle grip. His nose brushed against hers, but nothing repulsed Z more than the thought of kissing whatever the Hell this thing was. She turned her head. "Who are you?" The being blinked. "I have no name. I am merely Innocence." Z's eyes widened. "What?" The self proclaimed innocence twitched in what may have been annoyance. "I believe I have been called Beastly Beauty. I am you. I am me. I am Innocence"
Shock stilled Z's struggles. Memories flashed, a dungeon, CROW, a Noah…
It had worked then? She was…where was she?
Z's bracelets and earrings chimed. "That's not possible. My Innocence is right here."
"I am there. And you are within me. So that I may protect you." That didn't make sense. Some sort of enigma within a cryptic message. How can she be inside what is inside her and yet standing before her?
"Magic," the Innocence answered her unasked question. "Is not for logic. They are at odds with one another; to relate them is folly." Z blinked still incredulous. "Where's the musician? If I am within you, why isn't he with me?" The being frowned deeply when she finally broke away and reinstated their distance. "The Noah is here as well."
"Where?"
"Quarantined. Another plane." plane? What does that mean?
"The most dangerous force in existence is the psyche," the Innocence continued, answering Z's mental questions. It was odd being fused with something so…humanoid. It changed as it spoke, longer hair, smaller bones, softer skin. Z was looking at her own reflection. "Your psyche created a plane in which demons are torn apart by their own wickedness. You send them here, I take care of the rest. However," teal eyes flashed. "The Noahs escape me."
The world shook, throwing Z to the ground. She had to look up at the mockery of her face. "This boy is hard for us to process. Both his Innocence and his lineage. But I will protect you; he shall be sent away. You shall stay here," the floor turned to tar, swallowing Z's arms up to her elbows, her legs sinking.
"Until the Noah boy is dead."
Lavender eyes widened in horror. "Y-you can't. You can't do this!" She struggled in vain, the floor pulling harder the longer she struggled. "Let me out! I can't stay!" She had to get out. She had to save Allen, she had to kill him to set him free. She had to…she wouldn't…he couldn't die without letting her see his face again!
"You'll be happy. I can be anything," the face changed. Lavi's green eye blinked at Z.
"You want," Lenalee giggled.
"Me to be," Z almost didn't recognize this woman. Long blonde hair, bright brown eyes. Z saw those lips and that nose in the mirror every morning, but the dress was old fashioned and covered in beaded designs. The woman smiled gently as she opened her arms to fold Z into a warm embrace. The younger woman grit her teeth and clenched her eyes shut. "No. Let me out."
"I cannot-"
"I order you to!" She pushed against the familiar aura, the urge to bury her face in the blonde woman's shoulder and let go or everythin. "You are attached to me! This is my body! Take me to Allen now!" She had to control this thing. Only an amateur lost control of their body, lost who they were. She was Zahara, a gypsy, a witch, an exorcist, the most stubborn girl to ever walk this earth and like Hell she was going to let it end this way.
Z felt power surge within her, writhing and pushing out of her body. Capture. Contain. It leapt up again, almost swallowing her whole before she stifled it.
No.
She tightened her grip as she felt it sliding. She felt the strange magic of her Innocence slither and squirm but she refused to let it do as it wished.
A crack appeared in her mother's face. "What are you doing?" The face remained passive, but the voice was somewhat irritated. And her mother's. Z heart clenched.
"Zahara," the voice was now sad, filled with tears, and so very familiar. Z was pulled close once again. "You're hurting me." The crack on its face spread down the center.
Stop it.
"Its me. Mama. I love you." The body clutching Z felt fragile. She knew she was weakening it.
"Don't do this. I want to hold you. I want to keep you. My baby. My Zahara, why are you hurting me? I lov-"
With another, stronger wave, the being shattered into shining shards of green and blue.
Z heard her mother scream for the second time in her life.
She refused the tears of sorrow that gathered in the corners of her eyes as the floor released her. It wasn't Allen or Lavi or Lenalee so it wasn't her mother either. That wasn't her mother. It was good copy, a good doppelganger of those who had managed to get under her armor. It just brought back pain. Just pain. She could deal with pain.
She bit her lip and wiped her face. She hated crying.
The room had completely vanished with the embodiment of Innocence and Z was left floating in darkness. Vague shapes moved throughout, but she couldn't tell what they were or how dangerous. "Hello?" She called, eyes darting wearily. It was difficult not to be afraid, although Madame Nyne claimed the demons in the dark had only attacked akuma. "Allen?" Something brushed Z's leg, a caress, and she shrieked despite herself. A small twinge at the back of her skull alerted her to another shift in energies.
Everything began to rotate, like Z was in the center of a large, spinning globe. She clenched her eyes shut to fight nausea as she began to fall. And kept falling. Deeper into the darkness than it should've been able to go, so far she was sure that at some point she would hit the ground.
Z landed in sand. It was an odd blue color with skies of green above and a sea of gold beyond. "Damn it," she spat grit from her mouth. The realization that possessing such a power required time to practice struck her hard. The exorcist had no idea how to find the Musician in this labyrinth especially with new abilities she didn't completely understand. Z had fallen too deep into her own plan to go any further; she very possibly could be trapped like the Innocence had demanded.
One more.
Z's eyes widened at the voice, head swiveling in an attempt to see who whispered to her.
One more place. We can go. One more place.
One more? How did she know she could go…
One more place.
Just when she thought she had gotten rid of her Innocence, it started giving her clues to finding her target. It wasn't physically influencing her but now sought to control her mentally. She bit the inside of her lips as her mind flared in anger.
One more place.
"Shut up," Z growled to the open air. The red sun reflected off her bracelets as she glared at them accusingly. "Stop trying to stop me."
One more-
"Shut it."
…One more-
"No!" The Innocence obeyed. "That's what I thought." Z began to walk, leaving footprints in the sands.
She walked for what felt like hours in the still air. It wasn't hot, and it wasn't cold, it was a moderate temperature without the humidity that most beaches held. The sea of yellow threw gentle waves against the shores and, when Z stuck a foot in, the water was as warm as a bath. She came upon the same rock formation twice heading in one direction. It was strange. Like it was a giant loop. The sun didn't even move across the sky. Z grew frustrated as the same formation appeared again.
"Fine! I'll go!" The exorcist finally snapped, bored and convinced Allen was not in this area. Urgency filled her thoughts when she remembered that Noahs couldn't be contained long. Tyki wasn't here. Perhaps the Musician had also found a way out.
A feeling of reassurance and smug pride permeated the air as Beastly Beauty took her where she wanted to go.
One more place.
"Just do it."
Z landed face down. Again. It would take some time to gain her equilibrium in this strange place. She sighed and lifter her face from the grass, already feeling hives appear on her arms and neck. She was allergic to grass. After the red tinted beach, the white light stung Z's eyes as she tried to gain her bearings.
Something small and hard struck her head. Startled, Z jumped backwards, landing in a low stance. Her fist was cocked, ready for a fight as her eyes took in the area. The sky was bright blue with light cirrus clouds, the sun a natural yellow. The green grass was growing in brown dirt, clusters of chrysanthemums and michaelmas daisies speckled throughout the area, among hundreds of ashy brown trees. She realized she had landed under one.
Under a walnut tree.
Oh.
Feeling foolish, Z sniffed and came out of her stance. Whatever. A great warrior was prepared for anything. Except nuts. She was sure she wasn't the first to make such an error.
A playful breeze lifted Z's free black hair, purple eyes searching for any sign that the man she sought was nearby. She took a step forward and another bout of foolishness filled her. She took off her shoes so she wouldn't bend the grass too badly.
Z abandoned her sandals and hoped to spot white hair amongst all the green. The grass clung to her bare feet as she walked, wrapping around her toes in what could be considered hugging. As she walked beneath another tree, this one bearing peaches, a plump fruit fell, quite conveniently, into her path as a branch ran through her hair. Just like all the other areas, this place was not normal. "Allen?" She called his name again, not expecting a response. He wasn't Allen, after all, but shouting the name "Musician" seemed rather stupid. She had reached a satisfying quota of idiocy for the day.
"Are you referring to me?" Z stiffened. The voice was close.
Just beyond her peace tree sat the largest tree of all. Unlike the others, it held no fruit and no leaves, its bark was a deep black, the same ever-changing black of her hair. It's branches were crooked and knotted like a witch's hand, large roots protruding from the ground and dead grass in a wide circle around the base. In the center, wrapped in muggy green vines that had no business on the trunk of a tree, was Allen.
The Musician.
Her target.
Z scowled, fighting down the relief and hatred rising in her system.
"Good evening, Musician." Yellow eyes watched her approach with bitter amusement, gray arms struggling against their confines.
"Please. Call me Neah." Z raised an eyebrow. Her heart was beating much too fast for battle. It seemed…elated. She was disgusted with herself. Shame made her movements stiff and awkward.
"Neah is a stupid name." She took a bite from the fruit in her hand. It was perfectly sweet, perfectly textured. The Noah smirked, a line of dried blood on his chin. He was covered in lacerations and contusions, the tree wrapped so completely around him he had to be having trouble breathing. It was difficult for Z to see Allen injured and to be unable to help him.
"I never noticed my name's intelligence. And I suppose Zahara is a name reserved for queens and goddesses?" Sarcasm. Z looked up into his face. She was so close their breathing mingled. "Yes. I believe it is."
"Your modesty is refreshing."
"Kiss my ass." A finger ran down his chest, meeting a vine and testing its strength. The foliage appeared to have a powerful grip on its captive with no intention of letting go. Good. Maybe it would be easier for her to leave him to starve instead of killing him directly. How long did it take for a Noah to die of starvation? Or, faster still, dehydration? Either way it would soon be over. Maybe Z would consider staying here after the fact. She would have nothing to look forward to back at the Order. Everyone would know she took the Musician. Everyone would know she was to be shunned. She would be right back where she started, running from invisible forces and wandering the world alone. No one could possibly help her carry the weight. How droll.
And Allen wouldn't be there. To greet her, to fight with. He would be snuffed like the glorified candlelight his life truly was. A would be hero murdered before he could turn into a villain. Z glanced down at cracked and parted lips, air rushing past.
She brought her mouth closer, gently pressing it against the prisoner's. They both kept their eyes open because anything else would've been submission, and therefore surrender. The Noah didn't seem surprised by this facsimile of affection and had the audacity to press back against Z's softer, sweeter mouth. The girl pressed harder still, smashing their teeth together and earning a low hiss of pain. She had hurt him. Good. This was not love. It was a display of dominance. Because his life was in her hands and she was damn well wrathful.
He hummed and licked his swelling lips when Z pulled away. "That was nice. You should do that again sometime." Z snorted and moved to stand a few feet away. It did feel nice. Not as nice as it would've felt with Allen, but the familiar feel of his skin combined with the brush of his breath against her cheek had been somewhat comforting.
"I find this quite frustrating," Neah broke through Z's thoughts. "I was able to find my way through that horrible abyss, the sea beasts of limbo, and it is here, in this paradise, that I am undone. You are quite the worthy opponent," a fanged grin "witch."
Z winced slightly. "It is my Innocent's magic. I'm not really a witch."
"You and your Innocence working in conjunction then. I know Innocence lovely. While that would explain why this entire world burns me, it cannot explain the existence of these rather strange lands. I can't even open the gate to the ark in here." Z sneered. She took another bite of her peach and used her chew time to think. It wasn't possible. She wasn't what he thought she was. One person could never be powerful enough to create a whole other dimension. "Believe what you want."
"I believe I shall." Neah sighed and closed his eyes. They fell into silence, the only sound the moist tearing as Z's teeth sank into tender peach flesh.
"I thank you in any case. I never imagined that I would die with such beauty around me. Such," his eyes focused on the gypsy, turning soft "a lovely companion to witness." Z crinkled her brow in confusion, causing Neah to change his gentle smile back into a smirk. "You're not dying. Yet."
"Oh? You haven't noticed?" A shaking finger pointed to the dead grasses surrounding them. "This tree sucks away life. A nice thing to know before I approached, but it's a bit late for that. I'm much too weak at this point to escape. This monstrosity sucks life dry and leaves the body as an empty husk." He attempted to shrug but his shoulders just shook before lying still. "A truly awful thing for one so enchanting to create."
"I told you, it's my Inno-"
"Denial is such a nasty parasite," the Noah coughed violently, blood flecking on his lips before he was able to catch his breath. He chuckled low and licked the red from his skin.
Z felt her hands shaking. Her lips were set so that her face wouldn't work its way into the quivering mess it longed to form. He was dying. Which meant Allen was dying. Which meant they would both die. Together. And she would never see Allen again.
But this is what she wanted. She came all this way, invoked her Innocence to its full potential, in order to kill the Musician by her own hands. She wanted to spare her comrades the horror of the awful deed. Because Z was strong. Z knew what she had to do and could carry it out. She could because she wasn't like the others. She held them close because they belonged to her, not because she was attached. They were her peers, her friends, and Z was just selfish in clinging to all her possessions. This man, however, had become a threat to her; she would cut him off like a dead limb.
Right?
"It's a shame," she lamented sincerely as her eyes wandered from his face. Neah slowly opened his eyes, growing weaker. "If you were still Allen," she choked on the name "I could save you." Madame Nyne claimed that her Innocence had protected her last time. The green glow of Allen's hand was still bright as Z touched the leathery scales, but it did nothing to save this foreign accommodator.
"Are we not on the same side? Opposing the Earl?" Z's finger migrated up his arm. "But you can't be here. I fight because I protect what is mine. You fight because you hate what you can't have." She retracted her hand. "You've stolen something that belongs to me. You will be punished."
But Allen…
"And if I," his breathing was haggard, struggling. He didn't have much longer. "Gave it back?" Z closed her eyes so she didn't have to look at him. She shouldn't trust a Noah. They were the enemy, and, human or not, she shouldn't hesitate to kill one. But this was different. This was Allen. He was hers. Z didn't like to lose.
Despite the fact that she had him cornered, she felt trapped. He had an out in death; she didn't. Either way would be a nightmare for Z as she continued to live. Allen would be dead or the Musician would be free. Stuck between a rock and living Hell. Being made to face the consequences of whatever choice.
"Allen would live. As long as you're gone, I don't see why not." She was too slow with her words. Neah's eyelids were falling as death tightened its grip. Z frowned to hide her concern.
"Musician?"
He had meant it when he said it was frustrating. But frustrating didn't seem strong enough to describe his attitude towards impending death. Disappointment. Anger. Woe. He was undone by a child. A witch child, but a child nonetheless.
"Hey!"
It was infuriating. But he didn't have the strength to express such fury. He didn't have the strength for anything but bitter amusement, really. The cold creeping through his limbs, the darkness crawling at the edges of his vision, the inability to expand his lungs. It was all too familiar.
"Neah!"
She was going to be one Hell of a woman someday. She was almost there. But not quite.
I will kill you and become the Earl!
It was a cry she hadn't expected. Because just before those eyes closed for good, just before his chest stopped expanding, she saw golden yellow revert to silver blue.
"Allen!" And gray was returning to a human pale pink.
"No! NO!"
And he whispered her name. Something inside her ripped.
Z clawed at the vines savagely, tearing through them like tissue paper as the tree willingly lessened its grip on Allen. She yanked him free, falling with him on her lap. The tree blended back with those around it, shrinking as it grew leaves and hid its roots. A trap for trespassers hidden in plain sight. Like the abyss and sea monsters the Musician spoke of.
Z listened for his heart. She tried CPR. "Allen? Please. Please don't leave me. I'm sorry! Please, oh God." The tears were finally free to make their way down Z's face as anger faded. Her vision blurred and her cries dissipated in the empty air. So alone, all alone, so alone.
"I'm sorry, oh God, I'm so sorry. Please." Nothing. His heart refused to respond. Frustration and fear overcame the witch, sorrow making her mind short circuit and sending sparks of pain to her core. With a heart wrenched scream, she slapped him across the face with all her strength.
Z buried her clenched fists in her eye sockets, rocking sobs taking her in spite of her efforts to stifle them. She swung between screams and low hiccups, this pain foreign and too deep for all her strength to fix. This was it. She was successful. She was the superior fighter, strategist, survivor.
But she wasn't.
Because this hurt so much more than she had estimated. Drawing a hot poker through her soul in never ending torment instead of the swift rip tearing off a bandage. The girl regretted this. Everything about it, everything about them. The feeling of longing that had been haunting her for the past year and a half evolved and contorted into the more powerful feeling of raw guilt. Raw emotion. As though she caused this to happen by not changing something.
If she had stayed with Mana.
If she had forced their relationship to evolve.
If she had accepted that mission in his stead.
Z gazed at him again in a moment of sobriety, wrapping her arms about herself and willing the painful cries to stop.
Red blossomed across his cheek.
Z blinked, more beads of water falling as she tried to stem her weeping. Red meant blood. Blood meant heart. Heart meant…
He gasped, spitting and choking as his lungs restarted. To Z's great relief his skin didn't turn gray. The eyes that flew open to stare at her were gray with chips of blue circling the dilated irises. The tears continued as she watched him blink her into focus.
"Z?" She pressed him back when he tried to sit up. "D-don't move. Y-you almost died and," exhaustion crept into her body. "Just…lie still." Very tired. It was so sudden. Like a light shutting off. She felt his finger on her face, tracing one of her tears. "Where are we? Why are you crying?" Z didn't answer, a breeze swept through the air, bringing the smell of rain as the air began to twist and bend.
"Z. What's going on?" Allen speaking with his own voice. What a strange thing to pine for. Z shook her head to clear it. So tired. "You talk too much, perdant." Tired. How is she this tired? Her body began to tilt to the side, arm breaking her fall as she laid beside Allen in the grass and turned her head to look at him. "I sent him away. Neah," she slurred and lifted her head above his heart. It still wasn't quite steady. But it was beating, and that was good enough.
The ground beneath them felt thin and Allen's pulse still beat the tempo of confusion and panic and the world was crumbling into shimmering pieces of Innocence and Z was lulled into peace. A rough hand wove into her hair as Allen pulled her close, protecting her as the sky began to fall.
They were going back.
I am undone in paradise.