To most people, the ceremony of mourning that Iris held for her naginata would have looked silly. Taiga might have joked about it had Shirou not put it in terms she could easily understand.

If she had lost her tora shinai, she would be just as upset as Iris was losing her spear.

She had modified it carefully thanks to Lancer's helpful instructions. She had spent many, many hours practicing and fighting with it. It had become as much a part of her as her arms.

But in the end, it was a mortal weapon made in modern times. The quality had taken a major hit, and eventually it couldn't handle the abuse she had heaped upon it.

Two nights later...

It was the dream again. The one that she could never remember come morning.

It had started shortly after her weapon was broken beyond repair. The blade had been saved, but the wood had been shattered.

The place was bright, and there was an absolutely beautiful spear stabbed firmly in the ground surrounded by sea water. Everywhere she could see, was water.

Nearby she saw Lancer, looking about as dazed as she felt. His eyes were alert, but his stance said he was little more than half awake at best.

She found herself walking to the spear, almost unaware of why. Lancer met her, having come from the opposite direction. She felt the weight of something she had only experienced briefly, and from a much weaker source.

Divinity.

Iris wanted to look around, see what the heck was going on, but something kept her firmly in place. She could hear Lancer speaking something in his native tongue, but she didn't understand a word of Gaelic. They were circling the spear without knowing why, speaking words they couldn't keep from coming out. When they finally stopped circling and met from opposite directions, she felt something touch her shoulder and give her a light push towards Lancer. Their lips met, and she could tell whoever was behind this was unbearably smug.

Both Lancer and Iris firmly took hold of the spear, pulling it out of the sea. Suddenly the view shifted, as if they were standing above the clouds. Water droplets fell and formed land.

It took Iris very little after that to realize what the hell was going on. Revelation broke the spell over her, and as a consequence over Cuchulain as well.

"What... just happened?" asked Lancer.

Iris facepalmed, then she finally noticed what she was wearing.

"Something wanted us to recreate the origin myth of Izanami and Izanagi," deadpanned Iris. She eyed the overly elaborate kimono with curiosity, but didn't try to remove it. She might be a warrior, but even she knew that she'd never be able to afford something this extravagant in a hundred years.

Nearby, she felt something else take place and peered across the clouds. It took her a few moments to realize what she was seeing, and when she did it took every ounce of control not to laugh.

Ranma was with a fox woman (definitely not a cat) who was playing the part of Izanami. As they lifted the spear and dripped the other half of Japan down, it took very little time for Ranma to catch on to what was happening. However he didn't snap out of it until someone spoke to him and his face grew pale very rapidly.

"What happened to him?"

"At a guess, I'm going to say Amaterasu-sama just told him he was now married to the fox girl," deadpanned Iris.

"How can you tell?"

"Only thing that would make Ranma that freaked out is being married."

She heard a chuckle in her mind.

She was tempted to look, but the feeling of sun bearing down on her said that was a very bad idea.

Consider this incentive not to try your luck against our pantheon. A warrior is only as good as their strongest opponent.

"And it's for your own personal amusement watching him explain he's already married to a kitsune, right?"

She heard the chuckled from Amaterasu herself. It figured that the sun Goddess was a bit mischievous.

Iris looked at Ranma, and the two shared a silent agreement. It didn't help that he had woken up with a very cheerful kitsune on top of him, who refused to let him go.

"Maximum effect?" she asked.

"Maximum effect," he agreed.

In other words they wanted the others to do their own spit take when they told them what happened. Tamamo no Mae's presence alone was testament something happened last night.

Which was why they waited for everyone to either have a drink or food in their mouth before Iris cheerfully informed them something weird had happened last night. Tamamo, who had been waiting silently for her queue, promptly tackled Ranma, who barely kept his balance to avoid falling into the table.

Needless to say there was a lot of choking and drinks doing down the wrong pipe.

As if that wasn't enough, they found more evidence that Iris and Ranma had a very weird encounter while they were sound asleep when Iris went to look at her blade. She had planned to find a sword smith that could put it on a more sturdy pole, one that could take abuse.

What she found (to the shock of everyone in the house) was that her naginata was perfectly intact, as if Lancer hadn't accidentally destroyed it during a sparring session. More than that, Gil could FEEL the divinity coming off the damn thing.

"What," started Shirou.

"The," continued Illya.

"Hell," finished Kiritsugu.

Tamamo practically bounced up and down in eagerness, which caused her not inconsiderable 'assets' to bounce with her.

"Oh, oh, oh! I can explain!"

"Please do. It was bad enough when Iris somehow summoned her original self during a simple ritual when she was just supposed to get Lancer," said Kiritsugu, looking at the liquor cabinet longingly. Shirou promptly pulled out some of the stronger bottles (raided from the Einzbern castle) and poured him a cup. Once he was properly buzzed, Tamamo began explaining.

"Amaterasu-sama, among others, took notice of Saotome Ranma after what he did to Saffron of the Phoenix tribe. While he wasn't a true god, but the great-grandson of one, he still had enough divinity in his bloodline to make him on the same level as a 'weaker' god. So when they realized he had gotten mixed up in the Grail Wars, along with his 'sister', they came upon a brilliant idea on how to keep him occupied enough that he wouldn't challenge a true god out of boredom...and at the same time reward him for becoming stronger than any mortal so quickly. Most don't achieve his level of power or skill until they're ancient, and ugly," said Tamamo, her tail twitching behind her.

Ranma twitched at the implications. So the gods didn't want him bothering them, so they saddled him with a wife to keep him occupied because he had achieved the higher pinnacles of martial arts before he was twenty?

"And the naginata?" asked Kiritsugu.

"Oh, that was a reward for Iris. It also allowed Amaterasu to tie in her present with a way to renew the magic in Japan. It's not the first time Izanami and Izanagi were reincarnated into human form, nor will it be the last. It's the first time in several centuries they were able to tie it into a proper renewal/wedding ceremony though," said Tamamo.

"Question. Is this marriage legally binding enough to keep any of the 'fiancees' from coming after him trying to get in to your newly created relationship?"

Tamamo's face didn't change from her cheerful demeanor.

"If any of them tries to take him, I've been given full permission from Amaterasu-sama to blow them all sky high, and then drag him to the Emperor to sort everything out once and for all. She was appalled at how close his father came to ruining his chance at finding love. Coincidentally... I have spells to keep cats from coming within fifty feet of you."

Ranma's expression went from unhappy to completely blank.

"So just to be clear, all those damn contracts I was honor bound to complete, including the one with the Amazons because no one told us their laws are now null and void by the will of the Goddess. Furthermore I'll never have to deal with the animals that eat mice and drink milk ever again," said Ranma impassive.

"Again, our marriage is half reward, half incentive to leave them alone."

"...Are you actually crying?" said Illya in disbelief and amusement.

"Hell yes I'm crying! I'll give Amaterasu as many offerings she wants for the rest of my life for getting me out of that mess!" said Ranma. He wasn't crying tears of despair...these were tears of relief and joy.

"I'm just happy to have my spear back! Coincidentally does that marriage thing also apply to me and Lancer?" asked Iris, hugging her newly repaired naginata like one would a stuffed animal.

"Yup! Even if you use up all your command seals, he'll stick around. Consider it a gift from the gods," said Tamamo cheerfully.

Iris squealed, before tackling Lancer.

"I thought she was a lesbian?" said Illya.

"More like a very selective bisexual," said Sakura. "She'll sleep with practically any girl, but when it comes to guys she has much higher standards."

"Oh?"

"They have to be able to keep up with her. She doesn't like the idea of being...frustrated...because the guy happened to lack stamina," explained Sakura with a straight face. She knew that feeling all too well. Fortunately that's what she had Shirou for now.

Kiritsugu seemed to resign himself to the fact his adopted daughter was married before she was twenty, let alone graduated.

"Just in case you were planning to consummate the wedding, for the love of Amaterasu have it somewhere other than here. It's bad enough I know what you get up to with Sakura and Rider, I don't need to accidentally walk in on you two just because of the location."

Iris gave him a salute.

"Will do. Come on Lancer, we're heading to the castle for some fun. You can go fishing later," said Iris.

Illya looked at her father expectantly. He looked back at her with a flat expression.

"Not with Shirou, and not before you've been dating the same person for more than a year. I can look the other way if you're with Sakura and Rider, but not at the idea you'll turn me into a grandfather before you turn twenty one," said Kiritsugu.

"Deal," said Illya pleased.

"So... when are we going to..." asked Tamamo expectantly to her new husband.

Ranma blanched.

"Not today, and not until you can find me a quality therapist for all the crap I went through," he said quickly.

All the ones he tried to go to ran like hell when they found out who he was and where he came from. Something about the "Nerima Madness" being infectious to unfortunate outsiders.

Tamamo pouted.

Archer took one look at the naginata that 'tried' to take his head off and knew something was different about it immediately.

Once he was in a position that Rin couldn't read their lips, he asked.

"What happened?"

"The Shinto pantheon didn't want Ranma or myself to test our skills against them, so they gave us an incentive/reward. Ranma was married in the eyes of the gods and now has a permanent shield against his multiple fiancees, and I got my spear back with an upgrade," said Iris cheerfully.

Archer stared at her.

"Why?"

"We reached a level most don't until they're old and gray, and he took out a demi-god who was almost at the same level as a real one before this entire mess started. Like I said, it was an incentive for him to leave them alone," said Iris.

"...I would call bullshit, but you two create chaos just by breathing. Think you could barter a deal with the gods so I can get rid of the chain I have around me?" asked Archer seriously.

"I'll have Tamamo ask," promised Iris.

They waited until Rin was in class before she had Rider tell Archer the response to his request.

"They said they might consider it if you agree to act as Iris' Servant since they effectively took out Lancer," said Rider tonelessly.

"They what?"

"They brought Lancer back to life, properly, and thus rendered her Command Seals useless. You could probably attach yourself to her fairly easily, so long as you agree not to kill Shirou later."

"If it means I'm not a counter guardian anymore, I'll go under a geass," said Archer flatly.