Chapter 299: The Handy Man Can…

"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents." – Nathaniel Borenstein

"This is the most unprofessional production I've ever worked on! Nobody knows where they're going, or what they're doing, except, of course, for ME." – Steve, The Wizard of Speed and Time

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." – Franklin P. Jones

Engineering Terminology:
What is said: A number of different approaches are being tried.
What it means: We don't know where we're going, but we're moving.
What is said: An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach to the problem.
What it means: We just hired three guys...We'll let them kick it around for a while.
What is said: Developed after years of intensive research.
What it means: It was discovered by accident.
What is said: Modifications are underway to correct certain minor difficulties.
What it means: We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.
What is said: Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.
What it means: The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
What is said: Test results were extremely gratifying.
What it means: It works, and boy are we surprised!
What is said: The design will be finalized in the next reporting period.
What it means: We haven't started this job yet, but we've got to say something.
What is said: The entire concept is unworkable.
What it means: The only guy who understood the thing just quit.
What is said: We need close project coordination.
What it means: We should have asked someone else. Alternate: Let's spread the responsibility for this.

"So…you're really gonna put this together Will?" Sydney asked, eyeing him warily as the guys prepared to start the swing after dinner was over.

"Yeah, I can put it together. I am capable."

"Right," Sydney said nodding.

"Mike can supervise and read the directions…it's a guy project," Will declared.

Francie snorted, "I can't wait to see this."

Sydney looked at Vaughn, "You know…Vaughn I could just call a professional…"

Recognition flared in Vaughn's eyes, "NO. NO PROFESSIONALS. WE WILL DO IT."

Will looked at him strangely.

"I'll explain outside dude."

"Ok."

He and Will walked outside into the front yard, Vaughn sitting on a lawn chair and Will taking the contents of the swing out of the box.

"K, so what was that all about?"

"I showed Syd this porno I had…it was Horny Housewives…"

"That's a good video," Will said before thinking. He grinned at Vaughn, "Uh…"

Vaughn smiled back, "Yeah it is – 'cept for all the handymen that appear…"

"OH RIGHT," Will said remembering. "No calls…ever…for either of them."

Once he had all the pieces out, he looked at Vaughn, "Ok, read away chief."

Vaughn snorted and started to read the directions to him. Will listened intently and started to put the pieces together.

Francie and Sydney peered out from the den window, watching the two men as they conversed about the swing.

Francie looked at Sydney, "You really think they're gonna pull this off?"

"I think they will, yeah."

"Maybe we should get them something to drink, it's pretty hot out there." She paused, "Should Michael be out in that heat?"

Sydney's brow furrowed, "Probably not…but I'm not gonna take it away from him."

Francie nodded, "Let's get them something cool to drink. Will looks like he's gonna fall over."

They went off to the kitchen, pouring two glasses of lemonade and carried them outside.

"How's it goin' boys?" Francie asked as they stepped out.

Will stood up and accepted the glass as he wiped the sweat off of his brow. "Thanks, it's going well. We're about halfway done."

Sydney handed Vaughn his glass and watched him carefully, making sure he was doing all right. He seemed to be doing quite well, but he wasn't doing as much manual labor as Will was. She still felt the need to ask, "You ok? It's not too hot for you is it?"

He smiled, "I'm ok…might need a shower after, but I'm ok."

She nodded.

Francie ran her hand up Will's back, "Maybe you should take your shirt off…you might be cooler," she suggested skillfully.

He smirked, "Yeah you're loving every minute of this aren't you?"

"The view is nice."

"Well I don't want to disappoint," Will said, handing Francie the glass to hold as he pulled the tee over his head. He spent a minute wiping some of the sweat off of his chest before he handed Francie the shirt and took the glass back with a smirk.

Francie took the shirt and took a minute to give Will a nice, long once over, his skin still moist and glistening, making it look an ever darker shade of tan than it was. "Mmm mmm…just like Campbell's soup

Will…mmm mmm good…"

Will blushed and smiled all at the same time, his eyes searching the grass as Francie finished her scrutiny.

"Oh yes…I approve…we can retreat over here now Sydney," Francie said, taking the glass back from Will and pointing to the entryway stairs. "We're gonna sit out here and get the birds-eye view…"

Sydney snorted and smirked at Will as he tried to remember where he was before Francie got him all flustered. Vaughn sat back in his chair, holding the glass of lemonade as it rested on top of his thigh. He smirked as Will glanced up at him

"Shut up."

"What? I didn't say anything," Vaughn said with a grin, bringing the glass up to take another sip.

"Ok…it's done," Will announced, stepping back and mopping his brow with his forearm.

Francie and Sydney both stood up and walked over, scrutinizing the job that the boys had done.

"So who's first?" Will asked with a smile.

"First for what?" Sydney asked.

"Sitting in it!" Will said, "Why what did you think I meant?"

Sydney looked at Vaughn, whose eyebrow rose, "Nothing, nothing…"

Will nodded, "Riiiiiiight. SO?"

"You sit in it," Francie said, gesturing to him.

"Why?"

"Because you made it – and if a screw falls out and you fall on your ass – it won't be hurting anyone else with your shotty craftsmanship."

"Fine," Will said, ceremoniously sitting in the swing, pushing off with his feet and extending his arms over the back. He smiled smugly, swinging gently. "Mike?" Will said.

Vaughn handed Sydney the empty glass and used her hand for leverage to pull himself up. Will stopped the swing and grabbed his arm so he could sit next to him on the swing. Once he was settled, Will pushed off again, a caddish smile playing on his face as he looked over at Vaughn and then turned with the same smile to the girls.

"Smart ass," Francie said.

"Well…I think my craftsmanship seems to be tip-top," Will said smiling at Vaughn again. "We make a good team man."

"Yes, I think we do."

"I think we should just use our swing now."

"Ok."

"YOUR swing?" Francie said.

"Yes…since you seemed to be afraid to sit in the swing that the hot workman was putting together, I'm not going to let you sit in it."

"You ass."

"Well you liked my ass before – now you can kiss it from over there," Will said with a smirk.

"You are so getting it," Francie declared, moving toward him.

"Be careful…" Will warned, "Injured man sharing the swing."

"Oh I'll leave him for his own girlfriend."

Sydney laughed as Francie grabbed Will's hand and pulled hard, effectively moving Will nowhere. "Damn you!"

"Us workmen…yeah we're pretty buff…"

Francie tried unsuccessfully once more, "Sydney! Help me!"

"Nope – you gotta fight this one on your own."

Will smiled triumphantly and waited until Francie tried again. On her next attempt, he pulled back, catching her off balance. He then pushed her off and launched himself off the swing, effectively tackling Francie. He picked her up and swung her over his shoulder, "This seems to work quite well…"

"You are SO getting it."

"I hope so," Will said, slapping her on the ass.

"WILL!"

He chuckled and walked towards the house, "See you guys later," he yelled as he closed the door.

Sydney laughed and then came over to Vaughn on the swing, sitting down gingerly as though she was afraid it would break when she sat.

"Syd…" Vaughn said as she finally let herself lean back into the swing.

"What?"

"If both Will and I can sit on it – I think you're pretty safe."

She smirked over at him and leaned closer, his right arm moving around her shoulder.

"This was a great idea," Sydney said quietly as they swung gently, the night air settling in and making it comfortably cooler.

"Mmhmm…"

"You're a genius."

"Thanks."

She snuggled closer, her head resting on his shoulder as he set the pace of their swaying; a slow and gentle rocking that was sending Sydney into a deep relaxation.

Vaughn took a pronounced deep breath, making Sydney giggle.

"What? I like it out here."

"I can tell."

"It's peaceful."

"It's wonderful."

Vaughn started humming softly, the tune not registering with Sydney, muffled partly by her head resting half on his chest. It made the song deeper, less defined, more rugged, and completely intoxicating. The wind was blowing softly over her features, the hair on the sides of her face billowing with the currents. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, the scent of the crisp air, the scent of Vaughn's aftershave, the scent of freshly cut grass and a hint of lavender filling her nostrils and lungs. She found herself breathing more evenly as she listened to Vaughn's song, his fingers running over her shoulder in a gentle and mesmerizing pattern. There seemed to be no traffic, no crickets, nothing…no sounds except the wind rustling through the trees and the rumbling of Vaughn's voice.

Vaughn couldn't have thought of a better way to spend an evening. There was something about just sitting outside, not doing anything in particular, just sitting…and enjoying the company of the woman he loved more than life itself. He had always loved being outside, in the woods, at the beach, anywhere, as long as it was outside. Nature had an innate way of making things seem calm, an order to a chaotic world. Nature was not a peaceful thing by design; it demanded survival of the fittest, a dichotic plan of birth and death, light and dark, cycles and chains, rebirth. But still, it reeked of calm; a sense of peace and serenity when in it's midst; awe inspiriting and terrifying all in one. The same seemingly ordered-chaotic design that created and birthed earthquakes and tornadoes, volcanoes and hurricanes, also created new life, made things clean, new, unpolluted, and whole again. Nature had it's own intrinsic endurance devices. Nature demanded respect and provided in return.

Vaughn smiled at his own thoughts, drawing senseless patterns on Sydney's shoulder. He looked down at her, her hair blowing softly in the gentle breeze, her face flawlessly angelic in a light sleep. His smile grew as he realized that the swing had put her to sleep. He decided that this wasn't the perfect way to spend an evening; it was the only way. He leaned back a little more, careful not to disturb the celestial being in his arms, and kept up the same methodic swinging movements, content to let Sydney sleep a while longer.

Vaughn leaned his head on the back of the swing, looking up at the night sky that had sprung up on them, perhaps not as quickly as Vaughn thought it seemed. Stars sparkled across the sky, the fingernail moon winking back at him in earnest. He realized they had spent a long time just swinging outside and it was getting close to the time they'd have to go in. He regretted waking Sydney, but he knew carrying her inside was not an option at the moment. He sighed and took a deep breath, breathing in all of the nature, Sydney included, saving it until he'd meet it again. He watched Sydney for another moment before he tightened his grip on her shoulder and shook her gently.

"Syd…" he whispered, his lips pressing a kiss into her forehead.

She mumbled softly, burrowing into his chest.

"Syd…you gotta wake up baby…"

"Mmmm…"

He smiled and let her rouse herself, "Hey…"

"Mmmhiiiiiii…"

He chuckled, "We should go in…sorry to wake you."

"Sorry I fell asleep…you're quite the sandman with your new swing Vaughn."

"I try. Peaceful isn't it?"

"I mentioned the genius part right?"

"You did."

"Good…Let's go in…"

"I'm sorry I can't carry you in."

Sydney smiled softly and touched his cheek, "You've carried me since the day I met you Vaughn."

Vaughn was caught off guard by her admission, "I…" he looked away.

"It's the truth Vaughn."

"Well…see I think of that as reversed recently."

"It's not…it's just more balanced now. I didn't carry you through anything before Vaughn."

"That wasn't your job."

"It was if I loved you."

He smiled, "I didn't need you for that."

"You did…you were just too proud to ask."

"Well I couldn't really ask."

"I know."

"Things are different now."

"I know."

"I can ask."

"Yes you can. Anytime you need to."

He turned to kiss her softly, "Tomorrow I might ask…Let's go inside."

"Anytime…You want me to carry you?" Sydney asked smirking as she helped him up.

"No, but I'll settle for you holding my hand."

"Absolutely."

As they walked hand in hand towards the door, Vaughn pulled her closer, his arm moving to her waist, hers moving to do the same. "That's better," Sydney said as she opened the door and closed it behind them.