Harry Potter and the Autumn Swan

by Lord Akiyama

a Harry Potter fan fiction story

Chapter Ten

Cho Chang noticed how obviously different the second letter Harry Potter sent her was from the first. The first letter read like it was the result of numerous rewrites. He even mentioned having done exactly that, which made her giggle. More importantly, that first letter made it seem that he was in better spirits. The second letter was nothing like the first. Reading how the words were put together and the meaning behind them, she started to get worried.

It appeared to her that in the time between his sending the first letter and then the second, Harry went through a complete emotional metamorphosis. From what she read in the second letter, he became a brooding and depressed time bomb waiting to explode. Every sentence began with an apology for the behavior he was about to display as he vented the frustrations he was experiencing. The lack of information he was getting from other friends to the point that their letters were only so many words. The hardship of having to remain in a place he dislikes heavily and was disliked in return with the reason of his returning there being that it was for his own safety and nothing more. It was as though he was being abandoned while everyone else was out doing something.

His one comfort, he confessed and hoped she would believe, was when he saw her letter. She found this to be truthful as he seemed more calm in writing about how he enjoyed reading her words. To learn just a little bit more about her eased his temper and brightened his mood. He was also fascinated in reading about how she came from a muggle family, residing in Scotland since her grandparents immigrated there. She would have inherited the restaurant her family ran until it was learned that she was a witch. With the inheritance being passed down to her younger sister, Cho wrote that she was particularly drawn to her newfound abilities when she heard about its application in healing thereby her career goal to be a healer. He ended the second letter by apologizing once more and hoped to hear from her again.

As soon as she finished reading the second letter, Cho immediately dug through any old issues of the Daily Prophet she might have kept. She first checked near her bed then in her desk before finally fishing through her closet. It was in there that she found the issue she was looking for. The issue where a nervous looking Harry was standing next to the proud and handsome looking Gilderoy Lockhart. It was taken before Harry started his second year at Hogwarts, Cho's third. She remembered with some embarrassment that she, like pretty much every other girl at Hogwarts, had a crush on the one-time Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts. This was the only issue of the Daily Prophet she kept that had a picture of Harry, having discarded all from last year seeing as they depicted him mostly in a negative light.

Cho threw herself onto her bed, laying on her back as she stared at Harry's moving picture. It took a lot of focus on her part to avoid including Lockhart in her line of sight. She looked at the picture of Harry with a mixture of feelings. On one hand, he looked rather sweet forming a nervous smile for a publicity shot she figured he didn't want. Yet having read his second letter to her, she also felt worried. This was a whole different Harry she read about. She had never experienced him with the kind of emotions he was displaying. Anger, despair, and frustration building up inside him as though he were a volcano about to explode.

And then he wrote about reading her letter. How calm he became writing about how he got to know her better than before. In fact, it was like she was reading a different Harry than before. While not in the same vein as was in the first letter, he was relaxed and seemed rather enchanted to be able to write about her and how he felt about her. As though the only thing that would calm him down would be her. As flattering as it seemed, it also sounded so serious that it scarred her a little. Though she didn't read the article, perhaps there might be some truth to his possibly being disturbed and dangerous. Unless she was there to cool down the flames.

After staring at the picture for what seemed like hours, she got up and headed straight to her desk. She turned on her table lamp and took out her quill and a piece of parchment. She brushed some loose hair behind her ears and took a deep breath as she sat down. She began writing and didn't stop to think about what she could possibly be putting down on parchment.

Dear Harry,

I was quite surprised to read what you wrote in your second letter. Both the good and the bad. For the first part of the letter, I accept each and every apology you wrote. And I will continue to accept each and every apology you write. I know you did not mean to let that kind of behavior come out for me to read or see. But at the same time, it makes me want to know the real you just as you would like to know more about me. I don't expect you to tell me you life's story in the next letter, or even tell me anything at all about any time soon. Yet I want to hear from you who you really are and the life that you lived up till now. It may be painful and I'm sure you would rather have my affections than my pity. But try to remember what you told me before the end of the last school year. You said you would do anything to protect me from harm, and that it might include pushing me away. While I would stand my ground to stay with you, there are times when I need to know why things are happening to you so that I can understand your need for me to seek safety. And I'm sure you would rather me hear about you with truth than to read words with questionable validity that still project an opinion of you in a negative light.

With that said, I am touched with your interest in me and who I am. To read your being fascinated with my family history and the life I live is very humbling. I'm quite certain that if you ever get the chance to meet my family they would welcome you warmly and would be just as humbled to tell their story to you. I am also touched that you found comfort in reading the words I write about myself. So allow me to give you some comfort whenever you find this letter in your hands.

While my career goal is to become a healer, I love the sensation I get from flying. You should have seen me on my first day of flying lessons from Madam Hooch. While discovering that I could perform magic opened me up to a whole new world where fantasy was reality, it was when I was able to move through the air with the wind blowing in my face that I truly believed what I had become. It was an experience unlike any other. I guess I was a good enough flyer, I never really paid attention to my skills in the air, when Professor Flitwick recommended me for the open position of Seeker for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team in my second year. I'm sure you know the feeling of playing your first game, since you started that same year. A lot of people were very much looking forward to seeing the two rookie Seekers square off in the finals that year until he pulled out. I won't bother you about the specifics on why, though I will say I was disappointed that I didn't get the chance to play against you then. I'm sure it would have been a lot of fun. And I'm quite sure you know the feeling of having won the Quidditch House Cup. The rush of accomplishment and joy that comes with having been rewarded for your hard work and dedication.

When you and I finally got to play one another a couple years back, I must admit that I did feel both a little nervous and in awe. I was playing against Harry Potter. The Boy Who Lived. It might have thrown me off my game, I wouldn't know thanks to those Slytherin pests distracting the game. But don't see that as an excuse for my losing to you. You won that game and I accept having been defeated. It's just that I feel we never really got to truly see who the better Seeker was. Perhaps when we play against each other this year, it'll be for the cup this time. Just promise me that whenever we do meet on the field, you will not hold back. I want you to play with all passion you would have against any other team, like Slytherin. Because I will not be holding back either. I want the both of us to play to the best of our abilities. So that when all is said and done, we can see just who is the better Seeker.

Sincerely Yours,

Cho

Just moments before, Harry was beyond the point of being just plain furious. He and his cousin Dudley Dursley were attacked by dementors and was forced to use magic in self-defense. He just learned that he has been secretly followed by a Mrs. Arabella Figg and a Mundungus Fletcher. Received notice of suspension from Hogwarts and a hearing at the Ministry of Magic. And just recently a howler was sent to his Aunt Petunia to remind her of someone's last, whomever the sender was. The last few hours have tested his patience far enough and he was more than ready to smash his fists into any thing. He was more than ready to explode on Hedwig until he saw the envelope in her beak.

"About time!" he snarled at his owl just as she landed lightly upon her cage. "You can put that dow--"

He recognized Cho's handwriting immediately. The way she wrote his name was beautiful and bewitching. It took him some time before he finally took the envelope from Hedwig gently, careful to open it without so much a tear. By the time he unfolded the parchment to reveal the words she had written, he calmed himself and began to read.

When he finished, he slowly sat down on his head. When he originally sent out his second letter, he felt extremely guilty and embarrassed for having opened up about how he was feeling to her. He just felt the need to tell someone. He realized that he really didn't want her to be that someone. After having read her reply, he started to have second thoughts. He asked her to open up about herself. It seemed only fair that he did the same. She had every right to know who she was getting into a relationship with and not have to summarize from gossip and false characterizations.

Harry also came to the realization that he also felt like a hypocrite. He was being denied information he felt he deserved to know from those who wouldn't tell him. Simply because it was believed that it was for his own safety. Yet he tried to refrain from talking about himself to Cho, believing that by doing so would keep her out of being involved in the trouble that would come.

After a moment's time, he got up and walked over to his desk. Making sure to stroke Hedwig affectionately in thanks for delivering the letter, he sat down and took out a piece of parchment. As he grabbed his quill, he stopped himself for a moment from writing his third letter to Cho. He wanted to actually think about what he wanted to write this time. The previous two were written rather unconsciously. This time he wanted to make very sure that he wouldn't rethink about she would read. Satisfied in his mind with what he wanted to write, he put the tip of quill upon the parchment.

Dear Cho,

You wrote that you have accepted my apologizes in my last letter and will continue to do so in all other letters thereafter. Then please accept this one apology from me. I believe that it is only fair that you get to know me as much as I have been getting to know you. You told me about your family, what you wanted to do after Hogwarts, and how you felt the first time you flew. I, on the other hand, revealed very little of myself. Instead, I came off as this angry and depressed individual over being neglected and expected you to understand. That was selfish of me. Allow me this moment for you to get to know me better.

I live with my relatives on my mother's side. My aunt was her younger sister. She and my uncle, along with their son, have a great dislike for wizards and witches. My aunt mostly because she was jealous of the attention my mother received in becoming one. My uncle despises all things magical. They have raised their son under their beliefs, resulting in him having a great distaste for me. Professor Dumbledore never told me why it was necessary for me to live there or even why I must return to them every summer. The years before Hogwarts are filled with painful memories for me. I can't really bring myself to talk about it right now, I'm sorry to say. Others have done as much as they can to talk Professor Dumbledore into letting me stay elsewhere. However, he remains convinced of keeping me here.

Sometimes, though, I'm allowed to leave my relatives after a while and spend the remainder of the summer with the Weasley family. I have grown quite fond of them as they have grown fond of me. In fact, Mrs. Weasley treats me very much as though I'm one of her many sons. I feel a lot better every time I get a chance to stay with them as I get to really experience being part of a family for once. Something I can't say about my relatives. My friendship with Ron Weasley is very important to me, as I'm sure the second task in the Triwizard Tournament could tell you. He's like the brother I wish I had. Just like Hermione Granger is like my sister. If you can look past her having been by my side since our first year and the stories written about her, I honestly believe you two would get along well. She's quite intelligent and is from a Muggle family. And then there's my father's friend. I still can't tell you much about him, except that he is my godfather. His need for constant traveling prevents him from taking me in instead of having to keep going back to my relatives.

I want to write some more, but I would actually prefer that I tell you in person if I can. Although I find it interesting you mention Quidditch. Specifically our game against each other. I must confess that that was the first time I ever got to lay my eyes upon you. Seeing you stirred a feeling I had never felt before. There was just something about you that caused me to feel nervous at your sudden presence. You know, we might have been playing at an even field at the time. My being nervous at your presence and you in awe of mine. And I promise that I will not hold back the next time we play against each other. You are indeed a very good flyer, Cho. Your skills on the broom is quite impressive and I would love nothing more than to see who truly is the better Seeker between the two of us.

Please allow me to thank you for replying to my letters. As I've written previously, they have been of great comfort to me.

Sincerely Yours,

Harry

Content with what he had written, he folded the parchment and placed it in an envelope. After sealing the envelope, he wrote Cho's name upon it before grouping it with the letters he had prepared for Ron, Hermione, and Sirius. He once more gave Hedwig's feathers a gentle stroke before giving her the letters.

"Take these to Cho, Sirius, Ron, and Hermione," he told her. "Start with Cho. Accept any hospitality she gives you before attending to the others. For them..." He took a deep breath, calming himself before he could unintentionally blow up on his owl. "For Sirius, Ron, and Hermione, don't come back without good long replies, alright. I give you full permission to keep pecking them until they've written decent-length answers. Understand?"

Hedwig gave a hooting noise, feeling at ease after having her feathers stroked.

"Good luck," Harry added. He watched as Hedwig took off shortly after. Once she had gone, he sighed before slowly making his way to bed. He didn't bother to undress and threw himself onto the mattress the way he was. For a moment, he thought a bit about the idea of waking up the next morning to three fat letters. Full of sympathy and possibly some zany plans to get him removed to the Burrow. Then his thoughts came to Cho.

He drifted to sleep, dreaming of Gryffindor facing Ravenclaw in the final of the Hogwarts Quidditch Cup.

"Look," Hermione said before she could take her first bite into her breakfast. "Hedwig's back."

The snowy owl flew into the kitchen of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place like she had the past couple of weeks. Gathered in the kitchen for breakfast were Mrs. Weasley, her son Ron, Hermione Granger, Remus Lupin, Nyphadora Tonks, and the house's owner Sirius Black. Most were seated at the table except for the Weasley twins and Tonks, preferring to either lean against or sit upon the kitchen counters. Hedwig fluttered her wings to slow her descent in front of Sirius with the letters she carried tucked safely in her beak.

"We should be fortunate," Sirius said, his eyes looking at Ron and Hermione in particular before grabbing the envelope addressed to him. "If Harry had access to howlers, he'd be unloading them upon us by now." Despite having escaped from Azkaban two years ago, his voice was still very hoarse.

"Sirius, how could you say such things?" Mrs. Molly Weasley protested. "Harry would never--"

"You don't want to bet on it, mum," Ron said, begrudgingly taking the envelope addressed to him from Hedwig. "Believe me. He's getting more pissed with each letter he sends us." His mother looked as though she didn't want to hear or believe any of it as Hermione nervously took the letter addressed to her.

"And he has every right to be," Sirius muttered before taking his first bite of his breakfast.

"You heard what Dumbledore said, Sirius," Mrs. Weasley tried to reason. "It's for Harry's own good."

"Doesn't mean it's automatically right," Sirius retorted. "We have told him absolutely nothing the past four weeks. The most we ever said was a Happy Birthday, and nothing more. Yesterday, he gets attacked by Dementors, forced to use magic to protect himself, he's about to be expelled and facing a hearing from the Ministry. What do we tell him? Stay put. No explanation, not even assurance that we're even going to get him."

"But we are getting him," Tonks blurted out in a plea.

"I know that," Sirius snorted. "But he doesn't. While I understand the whole need for some secrecy in case an unfriendly intercepts Hedwig, we could at least give him hints about what's going on."

"Would make him a little impatient, Sirius," Lupin managed to say.

"He's beyond impatient, Remus," Sirius said. "He wants answers. Now. He wants out of that house. Now. And frankly, I'm more than willing to head over there myself and grab him this very minute."

"Sirius, we're already going to get Harry out of there," Lupin said, trying to calm down his ill-tempered friend. "Once Moody gets back, him and I along with Tonks will head straight over there. We won't wait a second longer, alright?" Sirius took a deep breath while he glared at Lupin. He looked away to continue eating his breakfast, which was his way of saying that he would go along with the plan. For now.

Everyone ate their breakfast quietly, remaining so for a while until Tonks noticed something. "There's that other letter, again," she said. "Wonder who else Harry's writing to?"

"None of our business," Sirius stated firmly.

"Sure are testy this morning," Tonks said.

"It's enough that we're keeping him in the dark on things he needs to know," Sirius responded. "We start prying into his privacy, there's gonna be hell to pay." The glare he gave everyone made it clear he meant every word.

Here we go. Laying the groundworks to rewriting first "Order of the Phoenix." Not much changed between what I have so far and what has appeared in the book, as you've probably noticed, primarily because I kept going back and forth with what I thought would work in terms of both opening this chapter and how I would like to see the direction of how to rewrite "Order of the Phoenix." I definitely have ideas I will be putting to work that will get the restructuring process going in the next chapter, so hang on to your hats. Or caps, or whatever it is you might wear on your head. Let me take this time to thank you all for the recent comments, as they have also helped me better plan how I would do the rewriting process while at the same time making sure the story I want to tell is being told. Don't stop sending those comments. Those who haven't, drop me some so I can hear your voice. And don't forget to spread the word.

Harry Potter and all the characters, locations, and world created and copyright © JK Rowling. This story was created out of pure fun and enjoyment, so please don't sue or place an Imperius Curse on me.