Chapter 10: Re-Hash
Murdoc let out a frustrated groan as Noodle hit the wrong chord. A voice came out of the intercom in the ceiling. "Okay everyone, I think that's going to be it for today. Be sure to get some rest." The band walked out of the recording studio and into the parking lot. They had only been working for about three hours that day. So far they had recorded half of their songs but now things kept tripping up. Either someone played the wrong note or the tone of 2D's voice could have been better. Just little things. Still, they wanted this to be perfect—it was their first album after all.
They drove the rental car back to their bungalow and collapsed onto the sofa. It had been three weeks since they had arrived. Not all of it had been spent at the studio or working on songs though. Most of the time they just went to the beach or explored the island. The three males had taken a liking for the nightlife in Jamaica. There were some nice clubs in town and there were plenty of parties on the beach, not to mention the whole experience was amplified when you added real, Jamaican weed.
Noodle had found a nice game store and bought a gameboy, along with many games. She spent her free time either on the beach or playing the games in her room. The guitarist had also taken to sitting on her roof at night. The bugs never seemed to bother her and she loved looking at the stars. It was very peaceful there and it gave her a chance to unwind.
The drummer shifted, trying to look at the clock. "Alright guy, it's six forty-seven. Whatter we eating tonight?" No one seemed like they were going to respond. "Well don't all of you talk at once," he said sarcastically.
"Go find something yourself, you're a big boy." Murdoc glanced over at Russel with a less than amused look. Mumbling under his breath the man got up and walked out the door.
Then Noodle looked up at 2D, "Food?" He looked over at her. His eyes slowly blinked twice. Frowning, "I will make my Ramen…" With that she got up and went into the kitchen to start boiling water.
The singer's gaze then shifted to Murdoc. Blank stare. The bassist arched an eyebrow, "Why aren't yeh talkin'?"
Another slow blink, "My throat 'urts." Lie. Murdoc just smiled and turned his attention to his growling stomach.
He patted his belly, "Alright mate, I'm goin' to that place down the street. You comin'?" The singer shook his head and watched Murdoc leave the room. He laid out on the couch and closed his eyes.
"Are you okay, 2D?" The corner of his mouth pulled into a frown, but Noodle couldn't see it. Walking back to the sofa, she made herself comfortable at the small table. Trying again, "You are sad?"
Finally giving in, "Nah, 'm fine Noods." Lie. She gave him a skeptical look. "Really, I am." Lie. When she reluctantly took the answer she turned around. 2D hid his face in the soft cushions. He knew he wasn't in the best of moods, but last night hadn't been the best of nights.
He and Murdoc had been out at one of the bars. The bassist had gotten pretty smashed and was flirting with some of the girls. 2D turned in early and went back to the cabana. Just as he had finally settled down and was about to fall asleep Murdoc had pushed in the door. There was a girl on his side and her hands were clinging to his shirt. He walked clumsily over to the younger man and bent down so he was within inches of his face. "Sorry, 'm usin' the bed. Bye bye." Then he proceeded to pick up 2D by his arm and guide him out the door.
The door shut behind him and he was left in the warm night air in just an undershirt and boxers. For a while he just stood there, not registering what was happening. Noodle had been sitting on her roof and was watching him from her perch. She laid flat, trying to remain hidden. Slowly moans started to come from the room behind him. His shoulders slumped and he looked up at the stars. The guitarist kept watching him. He spoke, his voice was so quiet Noodle had almost missed it. "Maybe in time... You'll want to be mine…" She kept the words in memory and hopped off the roof as soon as he had gone into the main room. Trying to write as fast as possible, she scribbled out the words.
He had said them in a voice she had never heard him use before. That combined with the look on his face when the words were spoken.. She knew they had some meaning. She didn't know what, but it had to be important. After writing them down she put the piece of paper in the drawer. The main room of the place had a computer. When it was morning she would go check what it meant.
"Tabun shoorai ni… Anata wa watashi no naritai desu…" But now this had made her confused. She knew that Murdoc treated 2D badly but she also knew that he was his best mate. So what was this about wanting to be his? It just made her feel lost. She didn't have anything to connect with. People in Japan don't say things like that, at least not in public. But they were friends... She couldn't understand and she knew she couldn't ask 2D about it.
The man exhaled shakily into the couch. Noodle looked over at him. He really did look sad. She moved to touch him, then pulled back. Giving a worried look, she again reached for him. Gently placing her arms around him, she laid her head on his back. He moved so his face wasn't hidden. "Murdoc-kun… He is..." She paused, searching for the word. "Free."
He furrowed his brow at the statement. "Whatter you talkin' about?"
She slightly nuzzled his back, "He is his own. He is mean, but he is a friend. And we are friends, 2D." The body below her relaxed at the last part. "Watashitachi wa tomodachi. We are friends." 2D reached over and gently ran his hand through her hair.
"Thank you, Noodle."
--
In the following days the band had recorded their first 'spiritual' track. They had started to run through Clint Eastwood for the first time and the ghost from the carpark had appeared. 2D would have stopped singing and ran if the spirit hadn't started rapping. Turns out that Del would be visiting them more often now that the band wasn't ready to bolt when they saw him. Oddly enough, Noodle seemed the most excited about seeing him. The record company ate up the new twist, encouraging them to work with the ghost to make more tracks.
As for the singer, he had tried to forget that night - he didn't know why the Murdoc thing had bothered him so much - it never bothered him this much before. During one of their 'down times' 2D decided to ask about it. Walking into their room he softly closed the door behind him. "Why'd yew kick me out the other night? I mean, it's jus been botherin' me a bit, it is our room."
Murdoc looked up from the tv guide. He almost laughed, "I was gettin' laid 's why. Wot, did yew want to watch?"
Shifting a bit, "No. No, not at all." Then the bassist did laugh. The suggestion had caused a small blush to rise in 2D's cheeks. He really was a prude when it came to certain things.
"Then why ya complanin'? It's been three weeks since my last shag and a man can only go so long." 2D was looking everywhere but at Murdoc. Something was off. Since their last encounter Murdoc had told himself to keep his self-control; spontaneously sleeping with 2D wasn't something he planned on making a habit. It just wasn't right. But it couldn't be helped if it happened every now and then, right?
Wind gently blew through the open window. Neither moved. What is this? This is so stupid. Get over it you twat, it's no big deal. Don't you dare touch him. You need to get over this, you have to get over this. You're not listening to me. Don't do this. 2D stepped forward. Slowly he made his way toward the bed and tried his best to ignore his screaming thoughts. He crawled over to Murdoc and stopped just short of touching noses.
It was quiet, he didn't move. Finally throwing away all his pride, the singer moved forward, bringing their lips together. He reached up and ran a shaking hand through black hair. The kiss would have been returned but Murdoc pushed 2D aside halfheartedly. "Stop it. 'S not right." His voice contradicted the words. He turned and looked at the floor.
2D sat up, "Yeah. Sorry. I didn't..." Both men kept their eyes away from each other. Silence filled the gap between them. He doesn't fucking like you, you faggot. Stop screwing yourself over. Muds ruined your life; stop seeing him as a hero. A heavy sadness could be seen in the singer's eyes. Bringing his hand up to brush his hair behind his ear, 2D gave a dry laugh. "Right then…" He stood and walked lifelessly out the door. Murdoc continued looking away, a frown tugging the corners of his lips.
--
Idiot. Fucking idiot. Why did you ever think this would work? Huh? Trying to see a happy ending, mate? Nice try, the boy never gets the man in the end. You're no different. This was stupid, so stupid. But you need him so bad. He's your everything. No one matters but him, and you know it. No, he never was the best for you; one look in the mirror and you know why. But he's better now. It's just how he is. He needs me. I need him. I love him. …Shit. I do, don't I? Fuck.
Crickets started chirping in the trees behind him. Dark night skies had dominated the world. Slowly the waves rose and fell along the shore. 2D had come here to find peace of mind. It sort of worked, if you ignored the other people still walking the sands. The water just barely washed over his toes. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. Flicking the lighter, he fought with the sparking flint. A flame finally flickered and he lit the cig, taking a long drag and pulling his legs to his chest.
Noodle hung her top half out the window of the cabana, watching the small light of 2D's cigarette. She looked wistfully at her friend. "2D…Murdoc-kun wa anata ga shozokumasu. Demo, anata wa Murdockun ga shozokumasen…"
"What was that, Noodle-girl?" Russel looked over at her from his place at the table.
She shook her head, "It is nothing." Returning her gaze to the horizon, she watched a figure walk towards 2D. It was dark but she could see the person stop and stand next to the singer. Another small light ignited. Both stayed where they were. Noodle rested her chin on the windowsill. She couldn't hear them talking. That is, assuming they were talking. Slowly her eyes closed, "Shigoto no ato ni. Me ga sameru. Nani ka shinakucha. Shigoto no ato ni." Behind her the drummer smiled, recognizing the song.
The cigarette hung limply between Stu's lips. He kept his eyes on the crashing waves, not the man next to him. Both remained quiet, letting the sound of the waves and bugs smother the words they weren't saying. Murdoc flicked the ash from the end of his Lucky Lung fag. He took a long drag and blew smoke out as words finally surfaced. "Why're yew out here?"
2D smiled a bit, "'Cause I want to be." Again, no words. A wave climbed up the sand and the singer gently ran his hand over it as it receded. It seemed like no one had anything to say. They were choosing to momentarily forget where they were.
Excess ash fell from the singer's cigarette. He stubbed the remaining filter into the sand. Feeling a strong need to reassure himself 2D spoke. "Are we…" He trailed off. Murdoc looked down at him, waiting for the rest of the statement. "Are we okay?" Dark eyes looked up to meet mismatched ones.
Something like a frown appeared on the bassist's face for a second. "We're…" He too had stopped short. There was something in his expression that Stu couldn't quite read. "I'm.. I'm goin' ta bed. Comin'?" A hand was extended, the same one that had previously brushed him away. 2D paused a moment before taking the hand and letting himself be pulled to his feet. He brushed sand off his trousers and followed the bassist to their room.
One pill to help you sleep, one to keep you smiling, two to help your head, and one to take away the pain. Downing his medicine, 2D flicked out the light and meandered to the bed. He laid farther from Murdoc then he normally did, still not knowing where they stood. The darkness started to ebb and he could make out faint shapes in the room. Soft light outlined the bassist's body.
Murdoc replayed the boy's question over and over in his head. Are we okay? Well, are we okay? I don't know Stu-pot. I'm no prince an' I sure as Hell won't bring a happy endin'. I dunno wot I think. I really don't.
--
There's a knock at the Winnie's door. "Yeah, wot is it?" It opens and Stu pokes his head inside. He's wearing his hair up in a messy ponytail again. How many times have I told him he looks like a girl that way?
"Muds, I uh, I can't sleep. I mean, I took my meds but I still can't." You don't have to make up excuses. I know you want to be here. He walks over and sits next to me on the bed. "Wot do ya want, a bed time story?" I tease. It's all I can do. If you show any soft emotion they'll eat you alive. He blushes a bit. A lock of blue hair escapes his hair tie and falls in front of his face. I brush it behind his ear - a reflex. As I pull my hand away he grabs my wrist. That look in his eyes…what is that? Then he pulls me in and kisses me. What? What is this? Why is he, why is he holding me closer? More importantly, why am I letting him? I break away. This is wrong. Stu is, as much as I hate to admit it, my best mate. The only one who's treated me like a human. No, no, no. This isn't happening.
But he's not wearing a shirt anymore. He looks so… Oh no, you're not thinking this. But look... He had withdrawn a bit and hands were to his chest. His face looked hurt. Now, now. Don't give me that look. Please I just, I don't know what I want, Stuart. I really don't know. That's all I can tell you. That's.. Oh fuck it, get over here.
I push him so he's under me and I kiss him. I'm kissing Stu - and it's turning me on. It's weird. It's foreign. It's right.
Then thin fingers run along my chest. They go farther down, farther, farther, then he grabs-
--
Murdoc's eyes flashed open. Sunlight trickled through the thin curtains and 2D was sleeping beside him. It was a dream. He looked down - a rather arousing one. The bassist got up, took care of his current 'problem' and walked into the main bungalow. Russel was already eating his breakfast and Noodle was on the couch watching cartoons. He sat down at the table and stole a few pieces of ham. The drummer looked over at him. "We're jus' about done addin' the electrical mixing to our songs. 'S lookin' like we can go back to Kong in a day or two."
He nodded, "I'll buy two plane tickets for Tuesday then." Russel gave him a questioning look. "2D and I are stayin' a bit longer. Wanted to stay warm."
Noodle turned and looked over the back of the couch. "I want to stay! I can stay, Murdoc-kun?"
The bassist shook his head, "Not this time, luv. Jus 2D an' I. We're workin' a few kinks out."
Russel gave a hearty laugh and folded his arms. "Good then. There'll be less fightin' from you two." Murdoc merely sneered and got up to get his breakfast.
--
The band spent the remaining days in the studio refining their distinct style. Finally, they had settled on the best fifteen tracks and put them together in a flowing manner. The tracks were sent off to start burning thousands of CDs. Murdoc had arranged for them to film some music videos once everyone was back at Kong. Everything was moving smoothly, and they finished in time to spend one more day together in Jamaica.
Most of it was spent on the beach. Noodle had found an easy way of swimming and had tried to surf on the small board Russel had bought her. They even attempted a game of chicken. The guitarist had climbed up on Russel's shoulders but Murdoc and 2D couldn't quite figure out how to work it out. Murdoc insisted that because Stu was taller he should be on the bottom. However the singer retorted that because he weighed less he should be on top. After a small battle the bassist climbed on top of 2D and got ready. One would think that Murdoc would win, seeing as his arms and legs are longer than Noodle's, but with the flimsy singer underneath they were easily toppled. There were three rounds, each one ending with Murdoc and 2D falling backwards into the surf.
They had decided on eating at a local food stand for dinner. Each member ate and watched the waves turn orange under the setting sun. Everyone had become darker and sunburned in some places. Noodle had acquired a sweet blush-like burn while 2D had burnt his back in a slightly painful way. The drummer would just poke fun and point out how he never burned. Once the sun had been devoured by the horizon they made their way back to their temporary homes. Russel and Noodle got packed and set their things out in the main hut for the cab ride in the morning.
Seeing as it was the last night, Noodle had decided to spend a long time out on her roof. After the recording of Sound Check, 2D had known she went up there. He joined her this evening, his long legs hanging off the side. Both listened to the bugs and waves, trying to make the moments last longer. The guitarist moved so she was curled against Stuart's side. She nuzzled him a bit, "Will you be okay with Murdoc-kun? He will not hurt you, right?"
He smiled. The two of them had become very good friends since they had arrived in Jamaica. During some of their down time Noodle had taken to playing with 2D's hair. Simple bonding time. "Yeah. It's jus' some time for the two of us. Jus' like before the band started." He closed his eyes and started drawing small designs on the girl's arm.
"Is.. Is Murdoc-kun nice to you alone? He never is with people around." She had yet to decipher what 2D had meant that night a few days ago. Neither had she fully understood the nature of their friendship. It just didn't make sense to her. But she just told herself that 2D's understanding personality made him compatible with almost everyone.
The finger tracing her skin paused a moment. "He doesn't want people at fink 'e's soft. 'E's a pretty nice bloke if ya get ta know 'im right. Jus'... shows fings differently 's all." She nodded against his side and he returned to making shapes along her tanned skin. No more was said. Slowly Noodle began to drift in and out of sleep. 2D allowed himself to slip into sleep as well.
A voice from below woke them from their light daze. "Git off the roof an' inta bed." They looked over the side and saw Murdoc scowling below. Both hopped down and stayed in their respected rooms until morning.
Eight am arrived too fast for the two band mates. The cab came and took them off to the airport, leaving 2D waving and Murdoc standing with his hands in his pockets. When the car turned out of sight the singer let his arms fall limp at his sides. Both stood there a bit longer. There was a slight laugh, "Well Stu, looks like it's jus' yew an' me now."
He looked down at the bassist. His gaze was returned. Mismatched eyes. Murdoc softened his expression, allowing his mate to feel more at ease. "Yeah," his voice was faint. It was the look Murdoc always gave him when it was just the two of them. It was just for him. He never looked at anyone else that way, not even the girls he brought home. Here goes that feeling again. "I.." he trailed off. He's not looking away. You're going to risk it again aren't you? You are. Don't. You know you shouldn't. He leaned toward the bassist then pulled back.
Murdoc smiled - all teeth. The singer gave him a pained look. "Wot's the matter, Stu? Somethin' yew want ta do?" His shoulders slumped. It was like he was playing games with him. One day he was on and another he was off. Neither moved. Then Murdoc gave an annoyed sigh and grabbed the collar of 2D's shirt. He brought him down and kissed him, slithering his tongue against the singer's. Stu didn't question, if today was 'on,' he would gladly play along. But the kiss was broken before he had wanted.
He looked at the bassist, confused. Murdoc just smiled again and walked back into the main bungalow, leaving 2D in the road looking very lost.
AN: Noodle translations: obviously the first one was 'Maybe in time you'll want to be mine' and she says that 'watashitachi wa tomodachi desu' means 'we are friends' then when she's looking out the window she says "2D.. You belong to Murdoc. But Murdoc doesn't belong to you." Oh and I purposely dropped the ending on 2D's name when Noodle speaks. When you are really close with someone you don't have to say -san or -kun etc. Also, I'm not focusing on them recording or making videos and such because that's just basic stuff. I'm trying to get...'behind the scenes'. Yeah.. . Right, okay, enough rambling. Comments loved as always, and thank you all for reading/faving/commenting. I love you all dearly for it.