Chapter 10

Sabrina stood at the Nurses desk absentmindedly clicking the pen in her hand repetitively. "Can you stop that, your driving me nuts." Britt said as she dropped off a file and picked up a new one.

"Oh sorry." She apologized to her as she walked away. She hasn't even realized she was doing it because her mind was on other things. Mainly the kiss that occurred the day before, she still wasn't sure what to make of it. Her talk with Felix had only made her question it more.

Deciding to put it out of her mind for the moment she grabbed a chart and went off to start her rounds. She couldn't wait to see the little girl in 204. The little girl, Sarah had been in the hospital for weeks weeks now and even before that she had been in and out of the hospital for over a year. But she didn't let being sick bother her any she was still the happiest little girl and Sabrina loved visiting with her. So she headed down to see her for a little while. When she entered the room she immediately knew it couldn't be good because the bed was empty. She prayed she was wrong and the little girl had just gone home again. She made her way back to the Nurses desk, "Epiphany what happened to Sarah James from 204?" She inquired.

"She died this morning."

"She did?" Sabrina was devastated, she had just talked to Sarah yesterday and she had been doing ok. How could something like this happen to that sweet, innocent little girl who had her whole life in front of her.

"Are you alright Nurse Santiago?" Epiphany asked seeing the look on her face.

She quickly excused herself and made her way down the hall to the break room.

******
Patrick headed straight for the break room for a cup of coffee he desperately needed. He had been running a little late this morning and hasn't had a chance to grab a cup. When he stepped in the doorway he noticed Sabrina sitting at the table with her head in her hands.

"Sabrina is everything alright?" He asked as she looked up at him and he noticed she was crying. "Wy are you crying? What happened?" He asked as he knelt down beside her and reached out to touch her shoulder.

"It's..it's Sarah." She let out and she wiped a tear off her cheek. "She died."

"Who's Sarah? Is she a patient of yours?" He asked rubbing her back soothingly.

"Yes...she was only six years old." He got up and grabbed a box of Kleenex off the sideboard and put it on the table in front of her handing her one. "I...I know we're not supposed to get attached but..."

"But sometimes you just can't help it. We all go through it and its alot harder in the beginning to try to distance yourself. You have a big heart Sabrina of course you would feel something for this little girl." He told her trying to reassure that what she was feeling they had all gone through at one time or another.

"She...just she had her whole life ahead of her, you know." Sabrina sobbed as she grabbed another Kleenex.

"I know."

"Does it ever get easier?" She asked wiping the tears off her face.

"I wish I could say it does but it really doesn't. Sometimes you can't help but get attached to certain patients and you may feel like you've failed them but you just have to understand that it's not your fault. Sometimes people just don't make it through no fault of our own."

"Yeah."

"You know what, I know exactly what you need." He told her as he went over to the fridge and grabbed her a bottle of water.

"I need water?"

"No that wasn't what I meant but here drink some."

She took a sip of the cool water and tried to pull herself together so she could try to get back to work. "Ok then what do I need?"

"Just meet me in here at the end of the day."

"Umm... Ok." She said wondering what it was that he was going to do.

She had managed to get through her day but her mind kept going back to that little girl and the last time she had seen her. Sarah had learned some new jokes and was testing them on Sabrina and she had given her a drawing she had done for her. That very drawing was still on her fridge at home. 'What must her parents be going through, they had to be devastated. Sarah had been their only child.

She stepped into the break room but Patrick wasn't there yet so she sat down to wait for him. Instead of Patrick a little girl flew into the room her arms immediately going around Sabrina's neck. "Oh Emma. Sweetie what are you doing here?"

"Daddy said you were sad that you needed a hug." Sabrina immediately tightened her grip on the little girl squeezing her just a bit tighter than usual.

"Oh sweetie I did need a hug. Thank you so much."

"Why are you sad?

"One of my patients didn't make it."

"Did they go to heaven?"

"Yes I'm sure she did."

"We'll don't worry my mommy will take care of her." Emma said with all the innocence of an eight year old.

When Patrick stepped into the room he had a smile on his face, "See I knew just what you needed."

"Yes you did."