The Truth Hurts
The rain flickered lightly and I didn't bother to pull up the overly large hood of the parka. Knowing it would block my hearing unnerved me especially at the thought of the Wolves being so close by. I ended up jogging back to the house, something I hadn't done in a long time and it had me slumping as soon as I reached the door.
It was open as I'd expected and hesitantly I went in. I established quickly no one was in and felt more calmed. The room was large with big windows looking out onto the surrounding woodland. The kitchen was to the left and it looked well used with a large island in the middle with multiple stools surrounding it. To the right was a dining table the furniture was miss matched slightly and a large pew bench ran down the one side.
The walls were creamy but adorned with photographs and paintings of the landscape. A bookcase sat in the far end of the room with a small armchair alongside it a snug spot for reading or a nap. I unzipped my damp coat lifting it up so the hood hooked over the coat stand. I bent down wincing and freezing as my back twanged uncomfortably. With a deep breath I moved again and pulled the laces of the trainers loosening them enough to get off.
I broke up the beer pack and located the fridge with ease, putting three of the cans in there to chill and moving the rest into a cupboard. The house felt easy to be in.
Moving from the room I took the only door into the living room. This room was slightly smaller, a space taken for a downstairs toilet. On the back wall a large set of sliding glass doors led out onto a generously proportioned decking which had a seating area already set out. I turned slowly taking in the three generous sofas all in a soft red fabric and looking well worn. A scattering of cushions covered them and large shag run swallowed most of the wooden floor. An oval coffee table was placed in the centre with a television set of to the right.
It smelled of pines in the room and I left it closing the door quietly behind me to move back to the kitchen. I felt I would be intruding to pry any further. Chewing my lip I stood eyeing the kitchen, debating on whether I could make myself a drink or not. I rested my hands on my hips thinking it through, I'd be greatly offended, but then again I was British, we were offended by people breathing.
The smell of rain entered the room before I realised his presence, Jacob had snuck up on me. He was dripping wet as he stood in a pair of denim shorts but seemed to be already drying before my eyes.
"Help yourself" he pointed in the direction of the kitchen "hell he'd be offended if you didn't" he scoffed and I sensed what he was getting at. Because I wasn't just anybody now.
"Where's Paul?" I asked as Jacob wondered through into the kitchen and pulled out a beer I'd brought for Paul from the fridge.
He opened it using the counter trying to show off and offered the drink to me. "No, I can't drink" he looked at me curiously pushing himself up to sit on the island.
"Medication" I mumbled coming into the kitchen to lean against a counter.
"Paul, he's with Sam. Just letting of some steam" Jacob laughed at his own comment and I frowned.
I wanted to ask Jacob what imprinting meant. But it just felt strange; I didn't want to talk to him about it, how could he understand a woman's feelings on the matter? I felt more lost that usual.
Words were swimming around my mind and I struggled to pick one out to say, the language evading me for a minute.
"Is it reversible" I asked Jacob suddenly and he choked on the beer laughing once more.
"Why" he asked grinning sheepishly. "Paul not your type" he teased.
I gazed at the floor brushing my eyes backwards and forwards across the stained wood.
"This isn't fair on Paul" I began to explain wringing my hands behind me. "When you imprint it should be on someone that it perfect for you. But I'm not going to be Jacob. I'm not going to be good for Paul, hell I'm not good for myself" I sighed.
Jacob shook his head vigorously. "Hell Immie, Paul is lucky, you're one hell of a catch" Jacob scoffed and I frowned at him. "You're so kind, you're funny, generous, loving, friendly and very attractive" Jacob named of traits.
"Yeah Jacob" I commented sarcastically "I have a lot of great personality traits or as my doctor calls them ... symptoms" I managed to choke out my eyes clouding with tears again. I pinched the bridge of my nose brushing them away from my eyes.
"I, I want to see Leah. Can you give me some directions, please" I asked feeling more composed. I knew Jacob would be able to track her down with ease.
He seemed unsure but caved in when I gave him a weak smile.
"Sure" he said climbing from the counter, seeming reluctant to part with the alcohol, we made our way over to the door stopping as I slipped into my coat and put my shoes on.
An hour later I was sat on La Push beach on an oversized piece of driftwood. Picking at a homemade sandwich and watching as Leah walked up the beach. We'd spoke on a few occasions. I'd liked Leah from the outset.
She dropped down next to me eying my face carefully, tilting her head in a mixture of confusion and understanding.
"Not been sleeping?" she asked in a matter of fact way.
"I wish I could" I smiled and she looked curious. "The medication does help though" I admitted rolling my shoulders as I spoke.
"What did they put you on?" Leah questioned looking out to the beach.
"Amitriptyline for the night, and a wonderful concoction of pain killers, and then tablets to stop the side effects of the painkillers" I laughed.
"Any use?" she asked.
I shrugged back at her lightly "some days they're okay they make it manageable, but other days ... I can't tell if they aren't working, or if they are and the pain I would have been in would have killed me if not for the medication" I stated which had her laughing light heartedly.
"Diagnosed?" she ran a hand through her cropped dark hair as the wind blew it into her tanned face.
I admired her face for a few seconds before I replied. Her hair looked 'home cut' but it suited her. The choppy layers and dark tones framed her cheek bones and drew out the colour of her skin.
"Fibromyalgia" I admitted. "With Raynauds added in just to mix things up a bit and of course I can't forget the whole not being able to hear properly" which had her laughing again.
"Nice" she joked and I smiled.
We sat in the silence for the moment as the wind howled around us. I could hear Jacob and Seth shouting to each other as they walked down by the shore line kicking a ball. Leah was watching Seth intently which made me smile at her protectiveness.
"Paul's an arsehole" she stated coolly which made me choke on a bit of my sandwich. I managed to get it down after a few hard slaps on the back from Leah.
"Leah, I wanted your help" I managed to get out looking at the sand to avoid her gaze. "I need you to tell me about imprinting, I need you to be honest with me. Don't pussy foot around it. Just tell me how it is please" I asked the older woman.
"When a Shapeshifter imprints on you then they form a bond that can't be broken and will last for the rest of your life. You become all that matters to them. It means Paul will do anything to try and make you happy and to protect you. Imprinting doesn't comply too what else might be going on in your life, you could have been married with three children and it still would have happened. That's because you two are supposed to be a perfect match to one another but with you and Paul that's kind of debatable!" she broke of laughing. "You do get to choose you know. If you want Paul, it's your decision. But it doesn't end will if you don't decide to be with him, apparently you feel incomplete like a part of you is missing. Your body may try and take matters into its own hands" Leah finished her summary.
"So it can't be reversed?" I asked her softly and Leah shook her head and I could see the sadness behind her eyes.
"No" she stated softly.
"So I'm screwed then" I tried to joke but it was half-hearted and Leah could tell.
I gnawed at my lip. "Don't doubt yourself Imogene, this isn't a problem about you not living up to people's expectations, Paul imprinted on you for a reason, don't put yourself down because you aren't perfect, hell Paul's no angel. You can both be a little messed up together" she teased and I gave her a weak smile.
What about personal choice? What about me being able to choose who I wanted to be with? My head span with emotions. I felt drawn to Paul. But I hated myself for what I was going to bring into a possible relationship; I had more baggage than most.
"Paul doesn't deserve better" Leah stated. "Who known's you might even do him some good, make him mature a little" she added.
"Will, will Paul know about this conversation" I asked weakly as I rose to my feet. My head was pounding and I needed to lie down. Leah gave me a sympathetic nod and I blinked back the tears.
That was one of the things about the Wolves. No privacy.
"Thank you Leah, I really appreciate your honesty, let Jacob know that he'll have to pop over for dinner when I'm cooking next" I added "you should to, it would be nice to see you again" I finished giving her a fleeting wave I trudged back across the beach.
My limbs felt heavy and my head was spinning uncomfortably. I focused on walking, somehow making it back home. I walked up into the house. Set the door keys down on the counter. I breezed straight past Bella and Embry who were sat watching the game on the television clearly waiting for my return.
I threw up in the bathroom violently. I swilled my mouth with water. Stumbling to my room I struggled with the pain to remove clothes. Stripping down to my under garments I crawled into the bed, dry swallowing a tablet I went to sleep almost immediately as it worked its way through my system.
Authors Note: Hello readers I hope your all okay :)
Special thank you to Gryffindor Gurl2 and twilight85fan for the follow. Also a big thank you to Elizabetch for the favourite, if you get chance have a look at her profile because she's got some Twilight Fanfics up so have a look at them if you get time :)
And of course thank you to all of you for viewing this story and following it I really appreciate your support and would love to hear from any of you!
I thought it would be nice to have a female perspective of Imprinting rather than that of one of the other Wolves. Watch this space, the next chapter will be up soon as it's already been written and Imogene starts her first day in school. And of course chaos ensues. I mean it's bound to with Paul on the case.