Chapter 10: Artie and Sea Bass
"Sea Bass!"
"Artie!"
"Why'd you call?"
"You told me to call."
"I did?"
"Yes."
"I knew that."
"I know you did."
"So..."
"So..."
"How's America?"
"It's alright."
"What state are you in now?"
"Texas. It's really hot here."
"Must be a huge change."
"Yeah."
"So..."
"You got Sherlock to jump, right?"
"Yeah, a week ago."
"Oh."
"Why'd you ask?"
"Well...um..."
"Well what?"
"I saw a guy who looks a hell of a lot like Sherlock."
"SAY THAT AGAIN! No seriously, say that again. Bad connection. I thought you said you-"
"-saw Sherlock? I swear I did!"
"What does he look like?"
"Well the first time I saw him, he was wearing that coat and scarf you said he always wore. He had dark, curly hair, it was probably naturally curly at one point, but I'm positive he curls it now. His eyes were the bluest blue to ever blue, they were like ice and the sky and you could just fall into them. He was really skinny, like maybe he doesn't eat the amount he should. He had really fair, pale skin, and cheekbones-omigod don't get me started on his cheekbones! They are just-"
"Sea Bass! Now is not the time to discuss how gorgeous he is!"
"Sorry!"
"You're describing him exactly how he looks, which gets me wondering...when did you see him?"
"A few days ago. I was a cabbie and he asked me for a ride to a nearby town. I gave him the ride, and when he was getting out of the cab, it occurred to me that he looks exactly like Sherlock Holmes!"
"What did you do?"
"Well I watched the stores he went into, naturally. He went to an optometry place and a Target. Then he went to a tanning salon, of all places!"
"A tanning salon?"
"And you drove him home?"
"Yeah. He looked so totally different! His skin was like, way darker, and he had green contacts on so you couldn't see his beautiful blue eyes! He had black glasses and his outfit was completely different! It was so weird!"
"Almost like he was trying to hide his true identity."
"Yeah! He said his name was Carlos Wilson."
"Where does he live?"
"Well he asked me if there were any places for rent on the area and I said yes. There's this laboratory he decided to live in right next to the local pizza place."
"And he lives there?"
"Yeah!"
"Wow..."
"I know, right? Who wants to sleep in a lab-"
"Not the laboratory! Sherlock Holmes is alive! How the hell did he fake his death?"
"How did you fake your death?"
"Oh. Touché..."
"Didn't we have a plan?"
"A plan?"
"For if he was sill alive."
"Oh that..."
"Should I do that?"
"You know was was being sarcastic when we planned that, right?"
"Wait what?"
"That wasn't a real plan!"
"Oh."
"Oh what?"
"I already started it."
"YOU DID WHAT NOW?"
"I started the plan."
"You are such an idiot."
"Well it's going alright now!"
"You idiot."
"No seriously! It's gonna turn out fine! I promise!"
"Pinkie promise?"
"Pinkie promise."
"Fine. Carry on with the plan."
"I will."
"You'd better."
"I love you, Artie."
"Love you to, Sea Bass."
"Bye."
"Bye."