WARNING: There's only five more chapters left. Unfortunately, I don't like how the sequel has been turning out.

As for Dark Inu Fan, STOP GUESSING FUTURE CHAPTERS RIGHT!

Chapter 10

Thrive to Live

Now—

His eyes were wide in horror from waking with the sight that was not even a foot in front of him, somehow, Momo was sleeping in the same bed as him. Last he checked, Ichigo had told her to sleep in the other room that was for guests because he was supposedly not feeling well! The captain began to shove away from the bed to get far away from her until a hand caressed his hair softly, making him look at the man…

"A few hours after you fell asleep, she had a nightmare, and came in here to sleep." Ichigo stated softly, trying to keep him calm. "She isn't going to harm you in her sleep and I'm right here, you can go back to sleep, it's okay." He watched the small shift away, only to burrow into his side and place his head on his host's arm. "I want you to do me a favor for me any time after breakfast, okay?" Toushirou looked at him, knowing that it would be difficult, whatever it was. "I want you to try to have physical contact with Momo."

Instantly, he wanted to say no, but nodded once instead.

After Ichigo had replenished his reiatsu, Momo had awoken and requested to stay just one night before going back to Soul Society. Ichigo told her that it was all right with him, much to the captain's displease, so she immediately claimed to sleep with Toushirou. Fear struck Toushirou, but his host stated that she would feel unwell if she did, and she understood—relieving the captain. She then decided that she would sleep in her future captain's bed, where Toushirou had been sleeping for the past month or two, but the man covered and said she needed to stop sleeping with the opposite gender. Ichigo then announced that he would have Toushirou sleep in his room while she took the guestroom, everyone agreed to this easily.

Momo slept in the guestroom while Toushirou shyly took his spot next their host; once being caught in his arousal, he could not look at him for hours. A few hours after midnight, Momo was having nightmares and came into Ichigo's room to ask if she could join them while showing her puppy face. She won against him easily, allowing her to steal the right side of his bed—and the right side of his body for that matter. It had been another few hours before it was Toushirou's turn to wake up, placing them where they are now.

Speak of the devil, the frail lieutenant began to stir awake in which caused the captain to stiffen against the man who kept them separated. The one that was particularly unhappy about the fact that they both woke up was the unofficial Shinigami that desperately wanted to sleep. She suddenly jumped into a sitting position, screeching about being late for Shino Academy; …what a terrible nightmare that would be. Ichigo told her quietly that she was being rude to Toushirou who was still trying to sleep, which had her look over to see the smaller one buried into the man's side, hiding his face.

"Does he move a lot when he sleeps?" Momo remembered that he was not sleeping in that position.
He tried to think about it, "sometimes, I have a few bruises here and there from it." Sadly, it was true.
"I was really worried about him for never contacting us." She smiled weakly. "But he's in good hands."
There was something in her tone that alarmed him. "What do you mean by that?" She knew something…
"Well, I was raised with Shirou-chan, but it was hard to get close to him even then, but he's close to you."
Ichigo took a second to reply to this. "Momo, you still mean the world to him, besides, he's been—" They watched Toushirou bury further into his body. Ichigo sighed. "He's been living here for months now."

"I know, but I noticed earlier yesterday that he's begun to rely on you, it makes me happy." To prove this, she smiled as brightly as ever. "Every time I come back from another room, you two are inseparable. It tells me that I really should not have been here without your permission. I just really wanted to make sure that Shirou-chan was alright." She then giggled. "He doesn't complain about his title towards you either."

"Hah, he still does." Ichigo waved her off as he chuckled lightly. "I'm a disease, I latch onto others and then work my way through them." He joked. Toushirou buried more into him. "I need some more sleep."

There was a long pause before she asked in a pained tone, "have you mastered that new kidou form?"
His body tensed dramatically at this. "I won't teach you. Momo, I've already told you how dangerous it is."
"But maybe I can help you prefect it, I'm really good at kidou and—" she piped down when he scowled.
"I… said… no…" Ichigo stated firmly. "The incantation alone stresses out one's body, I told you before."
"You told me that you're the only one to be able to accomplish it." The female was going to get in trouble.
He grunted in annoyance, but ignored the topic. "Don't tell anyone you were here Momo, understand?"

Knowing that she caused trouble, she had to leave the room. "Yes taichou." Her voice said weakly as she climbed off the bed. Momo turned and bowed to him. "I'll go take a bath. Sorry for making you angry."

It did not take long for her to disappear to the bathroom to take a bath after Ichigo nodded softly to her to give her permission. Once the water started to run, Toushirou sat up quietly to allow his host to deal with his routine; getting up to change his clothes for the day. As the man was stripped to his boxers, a thought came to the captain—something he had been thinking about since he offered his reiatsu.

"Kurosaki, I want to talk…"

He would say this mainly for himself to know that he could, in fact, talk to Kurosaki Ichigo about whatever was on his mind. When Ichigo placed his clean pair of pants on, he turned to look at the captain to show that he had his full attention now. The eye contact made him a little more nervous to speak out in which Ichigo fixed by sitting at the foot of the bed with his back turned to him. It was something that he would do to make things easier on the captain who would not do so well with telling others what was on his mind.

"Three months ago, I lost something that is no longer mine, and I wish to get it back." Toushirou grasped the sheets tightly. "However, to do so, I would need someone to assist me. The only person that I trust, and that knows what I have been through, is you." Hearing this earned him Ichigo's attention easily.

Ichigo brought a leg up on the bed so he could halfway face the captain. "Whatever you need, I'll help."

His head nodded, grateful for the insurance. "This body… it isn't mine—it's a toy, a sex toy to be played with. In short, I want my body back." He saw the other frown. "I want to reclaim my body by choosing who I want to have sex with, not by someone chosen by who pays the more money." Toushirou earned silence.

Ichigo did not understand his methods of this, and he knew that he would not understand his way of thinking when it came to the incident. He had to think on it a little bit, trying to avoid sleeping with this little captain for the wrong reasons, but he could not disappoint him either. His attention was fixated on him, watching how his cheeks were bright red and his body quivering at the thought of his request. The man had no choice but to willingly agree with him, only in hopes of given enough time to change his mind a bit.

"Give yourself a little more time to heal, and I'll let you have your way with me." He rustled his hair.
"N-No, I don't want to penetrate you." His blush deepened, head lowered. "I need you to penetrate me."
"I know…" this earned him a surprised look from the captain. "I understand that you want to use me."
Hearing this made him feel guilty. "I still feel their touches when you're not there. I want what is mine."
"You don't have to explain yourself," he got up to walk around the bed to sit against the headboard.
Toushirou denied his statement. "I don't want to do anything without your permission, without your—"
"Hey," his voice calmed him. "Just acknowledge that a piece of you will be a part of me, and me to you."
"…I understand," the captain scooted over and sat next to him. "Will you let me know when I've healed?"

"Let's go to Seireitei with Momo for the day, after breakfast." Ichigo smiled gently at him. "If you can confront someone in Soul Society without my help, then I won't argue when you need my body."
"Do I have to tell them that I've been abused?" The thought of telling someone made him nervous.
"No, you don't have to tell anyone anything." He tried to think of something. "Go say hi to Renji or Rukia, escort Momo to her division, something." He paused. "I'll have to talk to Rangiku-san about it though…"
This scared him, and grabbed the man desperately. "Y-You can't! You promised me that you wouldn't!"

"Hey, hey, hey… calm down, I meant that I need to tell her about you—that you need more support." He saw the worry still filled in the captain's eyes. "I'll tell her that she needs to be there for you, too, if you need someone and I'm not there." Ichigo smiled again. "She's the reason why you left home to be what you are now, right? To become a Shinigami?" The captain nodded weakly. "I've said it before, I won't tell anyone what happened to you. However, she needs to know that you are hurting inside, is that okay?"

"You won't detail anything?" Turquoise hues watched him nod. "…don't make me sound needy."

"Momo, give this letter to Unohana-san when you go visit her for your symptoms." Ichigo gave the female a letter. "And don't open it, it's not for your eyes to see, understand?" Momo left the two sluggishly. "I wish I didn't have to put latex in her tea, but I had no choice." He sighed and turned to Toushirou. "I'll go speak with Rangiku-san, will you be fine alone?" The man received a nod. "Okay, you'll know where I'll be then."

Despite saying this, he watched Toushirou slowly walk away in search of someone to talk to without him to support his actions. When he was out of sight, Ichigo quickly left to go speak with Rangiku who was surprisingly in the administrative office. Knocking once or twice before coming in, he saw that Kira Izuru and Hisagi Shuuhei were also in the office with saucers of sake. The three saw him with an unemotional look in his eyes, making them all wonder what exactly happened to make him look like this.

"You two need to leave." He stated calmly. "There's something important I have to talk to her about."

With that said, the other two fled the office with a quiet 'goodbye' and a 'nice knowing you,' forgetting to slide the door closed for privacy. Rangiku worried that something happened to her captain, so as soon as she felt the captain's reiatsu, she began to rush out—but was grabbed. Ichigo was not going to let her see him yet, not until after he explained things to her so that she would not scare the captain with hugs. They stood there for the moment once she jerked her hand away from him, and then he decided to speak now.

"You need to give Toushirou a little space for a while, Rangiku-san. You didn't do anything in particular, but it's something else that has him mentally broken down." It was as far as he could say. "For a while, he has been working on his recovery, and I want him to understand he can come to you if he needs help."
"What did you do to him?" Her tone was serious—obviously not trusting him after hearing what he had to say to her. "It would take a lot of work to have taichou 'break down' mentally or physically. So tell me what you did to him!" She watched him lower his gaze to the ground; making her believe that he did something.
"I wasn't there… and it's not my place to announce what happened." He hated having to relive that first month after Toushirou's incident. "But for a while now I've been helping him get back on his feet, and I graduate in three months, so I don't know if I'll be able to stay at his side to help. He needs you now—"

Rangiku slapped him across the face, "what did you do to him!"

"Don't touch him like that!" The small captain roared at the entrance, stunning the other two, and he then stormed over in blind rage. "How dare you slap him after everything he's done for everyone, especially for me, you stupid—!" his mouth was covered before he could call her anything hurtful that he would regret.
"Toushirou, it's okay, you need to breathe…" Ichigo whispered, slowly calming down the captain. His brown hues turned to Rangiku. "Sorry, can you give us a minute?" The woman left the room, but listened in on them. "What are you doing here? What about our deal, huh? You were supposed to see others…"
Toushirou lowered the man's hand. "I saw Abarai and told him good morning. After he replied, I hurried here when I felt Matsumoto's reiatsu rising with you near her." He turned to look at him. "How could she slap you—who does she think she is! Doesn't she know how much that can hurt! That stupid—"
"Toushirou… focus." Ichigo knelt down to be at eye-level with him. "If you can't handle being around others that you know, we're going to go home, is that what you want?" He saw him shake his head. "I need you to calm down then, you're doing really well, that's what matters." His body stood. "Come back in now…"

Rangiku opened the door and closed it behind herself. "Taichou, are you okay?" She had never seen him snap like that. He nodded in response before shifting behind the man. "Ichigo… what happened to him?"
"I was…" Toushirou started, but could not say it, and he hid his face. "It doesn't matter, never mind…"
The man frowned at the clinging captain, "I said you did not have to admit to it if you did not want to."
His head nodded in understanding. "You said I should lean on her, I thought…" He sighed. "I'm sorry."
Rangiku thought Ichigo was crazy by saying her captain broke down, but it was true. "Taichou," she came over and was eye-level with him now. "Of course you can lean—" her captain tensed at her closeness.

"Toushirou, she won't touch you, she's just trying to talk to you." Ichigo explained, resting a hand on his back to keep him feeling safe. "Or, if you want, we can go back home. Whatever you're comfortable with."
"I was…" The captain paused, he hated it… this was not the captain he remembered himself to be. Just looking at this woman made him tremble in fear; he was supposed to be fearless. "I want to go back now."
"Okay, that's fine, you did really well." He removed his hand from him. "Do you mind if I talk to Renji first?" It was to see if Toushirou would need any backup excuse for his actions, but the captain shook his head.
"I want to go back, now. I did what you asked, I confronted someone. Now you have to keep your end of the deal Kurosaki!" His eyes widened when hearing himself being so demanding. "I-I'm sorry, I want to—"

"Stop apologizing…" Ichigo sighed softly, riding the irritation off his shoulders. "Rangiku-san, sorry, we'll try to come back on better terms. Can you tell Renji to contact me later?" With that, he looked to the little captain. "As soon as you let go, we can go back to the apartment." Toushirou let go, and they left.

Rangiku had watched them leave, thinking about how Ichigo claimed she would not touch him. 'No way…'

"Nh—Toushirou!" Ichigo complained after being thrown on top of the bed in the guestroom. The small captain did not look entirely happy as he began undoing the man's pants. "Toushirou, wait—damn it!" He grabbed the small wrist softly to stop him from going any farther. "Calm down a little, you're safe, okay?" Toushirou looked at him unhappy, only to be placed on the man's lap to face him. "Think about it some."

"Think about what? You said I could use your body to take mine back."

"That doesn't mean you have to act like the monsters that raped you," this stopped the poor captain in his tracks, enough to have Ichigo release his wrists. "I wanted to prolong telling you this, but having sex will not do anything, it has to mean something to you in order for you to take your body back." The captain stared at him. "You don't have to be ashamed to ask me for help, remember? It doesn't make you weak."

Toushirou looked at him guiltily; feeling stupid for making this man angry with him for doing something like this, but of course, he would be mad about it. He felt ashamed for forcing himself on the man that always tried his best to help him in any way that he could, and this was how he repaid him? His head swarmed with all sorts of illogical statements and questions, he did not know what he was doing anymore now.

"I don't know what happened to you during those four days, but if you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen to you." Ichigo covered his face with a hand, "I hate that all I can do is cook your meals and share my bed with you. I want to be more useful." His hand held his face tightly. "Staying home with you was to make sure you wouldn't try to hurt yourself, and to be there for you if you ever wanted to talk about it…"

As Ichigo had no choice but to fold his hand and lay out his cards, he revealed the conflicting emotions that he kept inside for the past three months since that incident. The captain did not know what to say since he was shocked at the fact that his host had felt like this the entire time when it was more than just a few cooked meals and a shared bed. If it was not for this man at his side, he would most likely have done some sort of damage to his body—no, his body would have never healed firstly. Hearing him say that they are friends—that he would stay at his side and support him with everything that he was going through. He had to admit now more than ever, that Kurosaki Ichigo was probably without a doubt, his most trusted friend that he could rely on for anything.

"My body…" Toushirou started quietly. "Every time they would touch me… my body… it… " He paused.
The man knew what he meant by this though. "You got an erection?" The small one nodded weakly. "Your body reacts on instincts, it doesn't mean you want it." Though saying this, the other was confused.
"How can it be instincts?" His voice whispered quietly, trying to keep talking. "Erection indicate wanting—"
"Look," his finger poked the captain's side, whom twitched. "Your body jumped because I poked you. It's the same in male instincts when their touched inappropriately." He smiled softly. "It's perfectly normal."
"Still—when they touched me with their hands… I… I…" his eyes closed, not wanting to remember that they had him release his seeds countless times. "They would force my body to climax constantly…"
"Ejaculating against one's will is completely different from having an orgasm with a desired sexual encounter." He brought his hands up to hold the captain's cheeks. "Your body reacted as any other."

"Then…" since Ichigo had answered his questions without insults or teasing. "What I'm about to say, I don't want you to laugh, I want an answer only." He received a nod. "After you took me away from that place and you examined me, that was male instincts when I became erected?" He earned a soft nod. "I would take a bath by myself when you let me, and every time I saw bruises, I would remember what they did …" Toushirou swallowed nervously. "When I compare their touches to yours, I would get erected…"

"It's still male instincts if you think about being touched, but remember, I touched you professionally. If I made you uncomfortable, I'm—" his mouth was covered by two pale hands to keep quiet. At first, he did not understand, but he saw something trying to bulge from the captain's pants. "Talking about this has got your body riled, didn't it?" He received a blushing nod. "Would you like to take care of it in the restroom?"

"When your hands touch me, it washes away what they did to me…" his eyes closed, "like, it disappears."
"Are you asking me to touch you, Toushirou?" He watched his blush deepen. "Don't be ashamed of it."
"Please," the captain piped up. "I-I… want to know what it feels like to not be used for just sex, Kurosaki."
"Ichigo," said man corrected the small one, and then quietly added. "I don't know if I can control myself."
"You will, because I know you'll stop if I say so." Toushirou hesitated. "Please… touch me… Ichigo…"

That was all it took for the Strawberry before carefully laying his hands on the captain's legs; it was a good thing they were not in their Shinigami forms or else it would be too easy. Toushirou's hands placed themselves against the man's chest to keep himself steady on the man's torso after scooting up on his body. Ichigo had been lying on his back ever since the captain threw him on the bed, but things were beginning to rile him up as well. This was not going to be easy for himself, so he closed his eyes and allowed his hands to crawl under the captain's long sleeve shirt towards his nipples—but stopped.

"I can't…" Ichigo slid his hands away, and sat up. "I'm sorry, but I don't think you're ready for this."
There was confusion in the air, but he eventually smiled softly to him for this. "Thank you Ichigo."
He looked at him, now confused as well by hearing his gratitude. "For what? He stared blankly.
"You place your logic and concern before my illogical belief and needs. It makes me relieved."
"It's because I want you to be able to experience these things properly." Ichigo chuckled softly.
A brow lifted at what he said, "I don't understand." He paused. "What experiences can be proper?"

"Do you know what baseball is?" He earned a nod. "Then I'll use that as a metaphor for you to understand what I'm saying." Knowing that he had his attention, Ichigo began. "First base indicates kissing, usually for mouth to mouth contact. Second base is touching with clothes on or touching your partner's upper body; it depends on your opinion and relationship. Third base is touching without clothes on or touching your partner's lower body." Toushirou understood so far. "Third base is open to a lot of options since you can have sex orally. Then finally, there's the home-run where you officially having intercourse through penetration." Ichigo smiled lightly. "I want you to experience all of these in their rightful order, Toushirou."

Before he could even process the rest of the things that he was told, the captain found himself leaning forth to kiss the man's lips. Ichigo had just told him that first base was kissing by mouth to mouth, and he trusted him enough to give his first kiss to him. He stared at this man, seeing his eyes wide with surprise by what had just happened between them, making the captain smirk slightly. It had been sometime since he could even smile, let alone smirk, but it was difficult to not at least grin at the man's flabbergasted look.

"Did we clear first base then?" He sounded too smug for his own good.
Ichigo looked at him, regaining his composure. "If you're going to sugar coat it."
"You said it was mouth to mouth." Perhaps he did it wrong without even knowing it.
"Well… yeah… mouth to mouth, not lip to lip." His eyes rolled. 'This guy… damn it.'
The captain thought on it, then understood. "Mouths parted open in the kiss?"

As the captain leaned in for another, Ichigo placed a finger against his lips before kissing his forehead. "I want you to experience these stages, yes, but I want you to take it slow too." His watch beeped, telling him that the communicator was being activated. "I have to go talk to Renji now, be good and get some rest, you deserve it." He tried to get up, but Toushirou would not let him. "Toushirou, please, let me up."

Toushirou did not want him to leave, but he also did not want to go in there to encounter the red-haired lieutenant, so he removed himself and lied down. He waited for the man to leave the guest bedroom before getting up and listening to their conversation from the hallway. The captain heard the lieutenant mention something about Ichigo's face being a shade red, and asked him if he had a girl over to sleep with. His eyes widened though when he heard Ichigo say that it was not like that, just sexual frustration that he could not deal with. It had not dawned on him that this man would also get aroused, but now thinking about it, he could recall the sensation beneath him.

"What, Hitsugaya-taichou's forbidding you from bringing home the ladies, and masturbating?" Renji then snickered at his friend's distress, not aware of the situation at hand between him and the little captain.
"Look who's talking? I bet you're not getting any action in your barracks, what with your package still in the cabinet." The carrot top knew he needed his condoms. "I feel really bad for Rukia, no action at all."
"Y-You bastard! Why didn't you give them to me while you were in Soul Society!" He began to go insane now. "You know taichou won't let me have sex with her without those! IT'S BEEN AN ENTIRE MONTH!"
"You snuck one last month, too. Can't you keep it in your pants for a bit?" Ichigo earned a vicious scowl. "I'll see what I can do… I might send Grimmjow over to give it to you. If I remember that is." He smirked.
"Hey Ichigo, how come Hitsugaya-taichou is acting cold? He came up to me with a greeting, and after I said it back, he left." He scratched the back of his nape. "Did I do something to offend him or something?"
"No, not at all," good, so Toushirou's attitude adjusts when alone. "By the way… I had Aizen finished off." Renji knew about them. "He broke my law, so I had to get rid of him. Ichimaru will be next to mess up."
"If you say so," the tattooed man sighed heavily. "You're never going to tell any of us what happened over there, are you?" He frowned. "Whenever the topic comes up, you become a completely different person."

"No…" Ichigo whispered, staring at the ground. "Baring this pain is something that I must do alone…"