Rating: M/NC-17 for violence, language and lemons

Disclaimer: All hail Stephanie Meyer who owns all Twilight characters, and all not-so-veiled Twi-references and bastardized quotes. Me? I own what's left.

All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is my intellectual property. No copying, translation or other reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

Unconditionally's official wussperv rating for Chapter 9 is: a glowing 98% with 2% off for mentions of a dead Renee and Jake. This chapter is 98% wussperv safe and approved.

BPOV

I pay the taxi driver as he unloads my gear. Ever helpful, Mike Newton appears out of nowhere with an eager smile, and helps me lug my bags into the hanger. Uncharacteristically, I am the last to arrive at the airstrip hanger. Mike helps me drop my luggage near Angela for check-in, gives me that hopeful, boy-next-door smile, and trots off to help James. I chuckle and shake my head at his earnestness. Clearly, Boy Wonder has not heard that I am soon to be off the market.

I check my gear with Angela who is orchestrating the entire operation like a maestro. She is magical when it comes to managing logistics. I marvel at her efficiency. That and she is absolutely unparalleled in her skill at herding cats without them even realizing they are being herded. Make no mistake, we are the cats in this scenario.

I notice Alice across the way. She is positively vibrating with excitement, and on the verge of levitating. I have no doubt that she could make it to the U.K. on her own steam sans aircraft. She is literally walking on air. At any moment our Edna E. Mode is going to sprout wings like fucking Tinkerbelle, I just know it. I exchange a knowing look with Emmett who seems as if his phone has been surgically attached to his ear this morning. It is clear that he finally got around to spilling the beans about Jasper Whitlock, and his role in our mission. He rolls his eyes at me. Without uttering a word, his look says: Relax, Swan. She's a big girl. She'll be fine. I roll my eyes and glare back at him in return as if to say: If you value the family jewels, you'd better be right about that, McCarty! Of course, Emmett shakes his head at me, chuckles under his breath, and returns his attention to his phone conversation. I return my attention to Alice who looks like she might explode with happiness as she oversees the loading of crate after crate and box after box. Lord-only-knows-what she's packed for this clusterfuck.

The hanger hums with pre-flight activity. I survey the rest of the crew. Everyone is efficiently moving through final inspections, and pre-boarding details. As usual, Emmett is all business: corralling the troops; talking loudly into his phone, clearly confirming details for our arrival with the Brits; and, making sure that everyone is sorted and ready to go. Mike and James are shepherding our weapons and munitions, while Eric and Ben hover over the computers and other IT equipment. Angela, clearly in her element, is supervising all of them effortlessly. It's not often that the Company sends this large a contingent on an extended assignment. This is quite an unusual and impressive operation.

I feel a bit at loose ends with nothing specific to busy myself. I can't believe I've agreed to participate in this fuckery. I finger the silver chain around my neck, and find the wedding band and engagement ring I strung from the chain and placed around my neck this morning. If I'm going to do this, I'm doing it my way, and on my own terms. That means you're coming with me, Jake. I found the rings when I was cleaning out Jake's house, and packing up his stuff after his death. I don't know when, or how, but Jake was planning to propose, and never had the chance. I couldn't bear to part with the rings when I disposed of the rest of Jake's stuff. At least, now, the rings will get some use. That thought makes me smile to myself.

The rings are not the only armor I've armed myself with for this mission. Uncharacteristically, I am wearing my charm bracelet that now holds charms from both Jake and Alice. I also packed Jake's pajamas, and threw a favorite picture of Jake and me from one of our training stints at The Farm into the bottom of my carry-on bag. Overkill, perhaps, but I am definitely venturing way outside my comfort zone on this one, and Emmett knows it. Best to head into the unknown well-armed, and send a clear message from the outset. I know that Mike and Alice have me covered with all the weapons and other tools I will need in the field for this op, but this particular ammunition will serve me in closer combat should the need arise.

Suddenly, I feel the need to be grounded by something familiar, something known. I pull out my phone and hit three on the speed dial. My father and I had been playing phone tag all week, and I didn't want to leave the country without talking to him. As the phone rings, I am willing him to pick up this time. I exhale a huge sigh of relief when I hear his familiar baritone.

"Swan here."

"Hi Dad. You're a difficult man to get a hold of!"

"Bells! I would say that runs in the family! How are you doing, sweetheart? Seth mentioned that you have a big assignment overseas?"

"Yeah, our company is doing a bit of consulting abroad. I'm actually at the airport. I'm leaving within the hour, but I didn't want to leave without touching base."

"I'm glad you called. How long will you be away this time?"

"I'm not sure when I'll be back in the states, but I will keep you posted. This will be a long assignment, though. I could be out of the country for as long as a year."

Eager to deflect his attention from me and my upcoming mission before the duration sinks in, I continue, "Enough about me, how are things with you? Anything new in your life?" I can't help but bait Charlie a little. He has been keeping quite a big secret from me, so I figure a little torture is well-earned.

I hear him sputter; sure that he's spit his coffee across the room, "That little punk. What did he tell you?"

I laugh in response. "Go easy on Seth, Dad. It's not some big secret, is it? I'm really glad you've found someone. It's been a long time. You deserve to be happy. Sue is a wonderful woman."

"Yes, she is, Bells. Thank you for that. You know, I know I'm usually not one for dispensing parental wisdom, but try not to be like your old dad in all ways, okay? You deserve to be happy, too. Don't let thirty years fly by being closed off to possibilities like I did."

"Yeah, yeah. I hear you, Dad." I wrap one arm around my middle feeling the twinge of that old wound. I wonder what he would say if he only knew that I'd be a newlywed in forty-eight hours or less. I'm guessing his tune would change.

"I'm just sayin'…if I can find someone…find happiness after all these years, then surely there is someone out there for you too."

For some unfathomable reason, I am suddenly assaulted by a flash of emerald eyes, wild dark bronze hair, and that panty-dropping smirk. I shake my head to dispatch the offending image.

"Bells?"

"I'm here, Dad."

I can tell Charlie is feeling uncomfortable with his uncharacteristic dispensing of fatherly advice, and he quickly changes the subject, "Sue has been after me to tell you about us, and to get you out here for a visit."

"As soon as I'm back in the states, I promise." I make eye contact with Emmett who seems to be preparing to start our pre-flight briefing. "Dad, I have a meeting before I head out. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Take care of yourself, Bells."

"I always do."

At that, my dad chuckles, "You are your father's daughter, aren't you?"

"You know it, Dad."

Charlie, never one to be a man of many words, or one for long goodbyes, clears his throat as if choked up, "Well then, you call, text, or email when you can. I love you, kid."

At that, I feel a familiar lump in my throat as well, "I will. I love you too, Dad."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Emmett gathers us together, and issues final instructions before we board for our flight. According to Emmett, upon arrival, we will be ushered to our living quarters, and will be given time to get settled, catch a few hours sleep, and freshen up before attending our first briefing with the MI6 team that we will be working with for the foreseeable future. I, however, will quite literally be meeting my new ball and chain: more likely, the albatross that will likely weigh me down throughout this entire fucking operation. I can't help but be a little distracted and disengaged. I have the oddest sense of foreboding that I cannot seem to shake. What is up with me? Usually, it is Alice who is tapped into her sixth sense.

The eight hour flight is surprisingly uneventful. I manage to doze off and on throughout the flight, but wake no more rested or at ease than when I boarded the plane eight hours earlier. To conceal our team's arrival, we arrive at a private airstrip outside London, and are whisked along with our carry-ons into a series of dark, unmarked passenger vans with tinted windows while our considerable freight is commandeered into another series of cargo vans.

Unlike most commercial flights from the U.S., we arrive at 2330 hrs to further conceal our arrival, and give us an opportunity to get some rest before meeting with the MI6 team the following morning. The thirty-five minute drive into London passes quickly. Oddly, the foggy late night drizzle reminds me of home on the Olympic Peninsula, and comforts me.

We pull into an underground garage, and unload. Emmett hands everyone in the team, but me, a key, and quips, "Swan, you won't be here long enough to justify the rent, so you'll be bunking with Weber when you are in London at least at the outset of this operation."

I nod in response knowing that Alice will be needing every inch of her flat to recreate her lair. Not to mention should things go as she's obviously hoping, three would definitely be crowd in Alice's flat. Angela will be a thoughtful and considerate roommate, and if what I suspect is true, she is likely to be off with Ben exploring London when not on duty, which should work out well for me for as long as I'm in town.

Emmett continues explaining to the team that each key is to a furnished apartment that will be both home and an alternate base of operations while here. He also hands us two key cards: one, he says, is to a gym on the property, and the second is for our access to MI6 headquarters. He further explains that we are located at St. George Wharf near Vauxhall Station and convenient to MI6 headquarters. Angela chimes in and adds that the rest of our gear would be delivered in the morning as labeled. Some would be delivered to our space at MI6 headquarters, and the rest would be delivered to each of our flats. Angela would personally oversee the delivery after our morning briefing.

Emmett clears his throat, and turns serious. "It is critical that we keep this operation under wraps. As such, we will all be traveling to and from MI6 headquarters in these vans and entering through their secure underground entrance until otherwise notified. This arrangement will likely loosen once we have Swan in the field with her MI6 counterpart. Until I notify you otherwise, all of you will use these vans and the underground entrances to travel to and from MI6 headquarters. We'll be leaving here at 0915 hrs tomorrow morning. I suggest that we all quickly get settled and get some rest. Tomorrow, the real work begins!"

Less than eight hours later, we are back in the underground garage beneath our new home and headquarters ready to be shuttled from St. George Wharf to Vauxhall Cross. In the time that passed, everyone settled into their new digs, unpacked a bit, caught a few hours sleep, freshened up, and had a bite to eat in the nicely stocked kitchens that our English hosts had graciously left for us. Unfortunately, decent coffee and ingredients to make my morning smoothie were conspicuously absent. Lack of caffeine and B-12 do nothing to improve my mood. On the bright side, as I suspected, Angela and I quickly settled into a comfortable and harmonious routine as roommates.

Ever the responsible leader, Emmett ushers us into two vans, and we are shuttled from one underground parking garage to another. Once the vans are parked and we all file out, I notice that Emmett is shaking hands with a tall, fair, devastatingly handsome man with silvery-blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and a disarming smile. There's something about him that is familiar, but I cannot place it. Before I know it, we are shepherded into two elevators without any formal introductions being made. Once the elevator arrives at the appointed floor, we are unceremoniously led through a series of corridors passing rows of offices and cubes into a large conference room where a group of men and one breathtakingly beautiful blonde woman appear to be waiting for us. This must be what fucking beef cattle feel like as they are being led to the slaughter.

Before the blonde Adonis who seems to be running this show can speak to begin introductions, the blonde bombshell mutters coolly under her breath, "It would appear that news of the economic downturn in America was grossly exaggerated seeing as valuable taxpayer resources could be spared for such an extensive entourage for our little expedition. American budgets must still be overflowing to support such a large contingent to work with us for such an extended mission abroad. How lovely for all of us."

Whoa, Nellie, and so the butchering begins. Apparently, Butcher Barbie is intent on grounding us all into meat pies like Sweeny Todd's Mrs. Lovett.

Emmett clears his throat, and smiles his ten thousand megawatt, panty-dropping smile, and quips back, "Well, I suppose that is why the U.S. is THE world superpower. We stand and deliver even in the most unfavorable circumstances."

Way to melt that ice princess and her frosty drawers, Em! I'm not sure how I manage to not bust out laughing at that little retort.

Without missing a beat the ice princess matches Emmett's dazzling smile with one her own, and quips back, "Nothing like whipping it right out there, and laying it on the table, now is there? That seems a bit like a middle-aged man driving a fancy sports car, does it not? Insecure about something, Special Agent McCarty?"

Damn. Barbie has fangs and she knows how to use them. Farmboy may be in over his head with this one!

"Rosalie." The Adonis admonishes as he gestures for all of us to sit, and we each take a seat.

I hazard a glance at Emmett who still looks a bit shell-shocked from that last exchange.

As Blondie and Em are finishing their proverbial pissing match, an entirely different drama is unfolding at the other end of the conference room. Alice is in an unbreakable eye lock with a tall, blonde drink of water who can only, possibly be Jasper Whitlock in the flesh. Damn. Captain Handsome, indeed. No wonder Edna has been pining away for this man for years. I'd pine too if a man looked at me the way Captain Handsome is staring down Alice. He is clearly undressing her with his eyes, and I could swear she is giving him a fucking blowjob with her own eyes. Damn, you two, get a motherfucking room, already. I chuckle to myself thinking as soon as this briefing is over it is abundantly clear that they will very likely be doing just that. I breathe a sigh of relief. At least that is one less thing I have to worry about with this mission. Good for her: Go Alice.

Scanning the crowd I can't help but wonder which of them is slated to be my better half as it were. Unfortunately, I don't see anyone who at first glance seems remotely capable of keeping up. Nothing like having to drag dead weight along for the ride. As I said: albatross. Fuck. My. Life.

With an aplomb that somehow reminds me of Mr. Roark on Fantasy Island, Adonis interrupts my attempts at sizing up our collaborators, welcomes us and makes his introductions, "I am Carlisle Cullen, and I will be the senior backstop on this operation."

Holy Hell! That is the Thieving Tsunami's father. No wonder he looked familiar. I am face-to-face with the man who sired that green-eyed monster. Holy Mother of Fuck! Things just keep getting curiouser and curiouser. Now all we need is the fucking Cheshire Cat to appear grinning from ear to fucking ear.

Gesturing to the blonde bombshell and Emmett, Senior Agent-in-Charge Cullen continues, "Special Agent, Rosalie Hale, will be co-leading this operation on behalf of MI6 along with Special Agent, Emmett McCarty who will be co-leading the operation on behalf of our American friends. Let's take few moments to go around the room and introduce ourselves and our tactical functions. You will all be working quite closely together for the foreseeable future, so it is important that you all get on well together, and start off on the right foot."

I see Carlisle make a point of looking directly at Rosalie and then at Emmett as our resident boy scout steps up to begin the introductions. The introductions continue with each member of the two teams introducing themselves and sharing their particular area of expertise. I suddenly feel like I've been airdropped into one of those corporate retreats where everyone winds up chanting the lyrics to In-A-Godda-Da-Vida, breaking boards like karate black belts, and walking on a bed of hot coals by the end of the week. Just as I'm not sure whether I can possibly endure one moment more, the door to the conference room opens, and before I know it, someone has breezed in and slid into the seat beside me.

I look to my left, annoyed at whomever managed to waltz into the meeting so egregiously late, and am stunned to be staring into the deepest, greenest eyes in existence. Those eyes. It can't be. I gasp in shock as my eyes focus, and I'm greeted with that familiar smirk: the very same smirk that taunted me the night of the Volturi gala, and the very same smirk that has haunted my dreams and nightmares ever since that night in Abu Dhabi.

I feel my heart simultaneously jump out of my chest, and sink into my gut involuntarily turning to a puddle of goo. I can't even think about what is happening between my thighs. Puddle of goo, indeed. Damn my traitorous body! I blink in astonishment. Edward-Fucking-Cullen. Thieving-Fucking-Tsunami. What the ever-loving fuck is he doing here? I cannot believe my eyes, and utter albeit a little too loudly, "No motherfucking way."

He chuckles in response, and leans closer so only I can hear him, "Charming. Tell me, do you kiss your mum with that mouth?"

Once again, I blink in astonishment. Who the hell does he think he is? What an arrogant asshat! Two can play that game, Agent Buttmunch. Without missing a beat I reply, "Actually, no. I do not. My mother is dead."

With that retort, he straightens in his seat looking sufficiently chastised.

My mind reels trying to process what is afoot here, and the introductions reach the green-eyed monster to my left, and I cannot believe my ears as he introduces himself as Special Agent Edward Cullen who describes his expertise as a field agent, and introduces himself as the blushing bridegroom with the smuggest, most self-satisfied smirk in the known universe. Speak of the fucking Cheshire Cat and he shall appear. Fuck me. Hard. Twice. From Behind. No Motherfucking Reach Around. With that I feel my face flame red with anger. You have got to be fucking kidding me. This cannot be happening.

I shoot Emmett a glance that is a likely a cross between murderous and panicked. His response tells me I'd better pull it together and maintain my composure. Suddenly all eyes are on me, and everyone is now waiting for me. I am the last to introduce myself. Somehow I make it through the introduction, and manage to elicit a laugh from all when I refer to myself as the not-so-blushing bride.

Just as I breathe a sigh of relief thinking that no one would dare point out that I am, quite ironically, blushing seemingly from head to toe, the little hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention as I feel his breath on the back of my neck like the gentlest of caresses. Before I can possibly respond, I hear, "Funny, for one who claims that she is a not-so-blushing bride, that lovely shade of pink that tinges your skin at the moment would suggest otherwise."

I feel the blush deepen as my ire flares again. How dare he? Who the hell does he think he is anyway? I lean back, and whisper just as softly into his ear trying not to be distracted by how positively delicious he smells, "Well, I would be careful about making assumptions, English. In America, we have a saying about people who make assumptions." I stop there. Let him ask Jasper what the fucking expression is. I cannot continue; I'm too angry. That, and if I don't put some distance between us, I'm going to need to find a change of panties somewhere.

The rest of the briefing passes in a blur. I am consumed with thoughts of getting Emmett alone and ripping him a new one. He cannot possibly expect me to go undercover in the field with this smug, self-satisfied, sloppy, careless, arrogant-assed motherfucker. He simply cannot expect that. That assmunch will surely get us both killed.

Cullen, Sr. finally adjourns the meeting, and I honestly could not tell you anything that transpired after Mr. Bronze Fuck-me Hair introduced himself as the blushing bridegroom. Cullen Jr. turns to me as if to begin a conversation, but I am having none of it. I stand and brush past him making a beeline for Emmett.

Before Emmett can begin a conversation with Cullen Sr. and the bombshell, I ambush him. "Emmett, I need to speak to you in private. Now."

Emmett nods, and turns to Rosalie and asks her if there is an office where we could meet briefly. Rosalie escorts us two doors down to her to her office and closes the door as she leaves.

"Emmett, did you know about this?"

"I had no idea, B."

"You cannot expect me to be imbedded in the field with that careless, arrogant-assed motherfucker! This elevates the term hostile work environment to a whole different dimension."

"All your work environments are hostile, Swan. That whining isn't gonna fly with me. We are committed here. Do you really want to ruin your career over this, Bella?"

"That's a low blow, Em."

"It may be low, but it's the truth and you know it. Cullen is the agent the Brits have chosen for this op, and you are our choice. You have two choices: you can get on this train and ride it out, or you can blow up the tracks, and in essence, a very distinguished young career. However, be forewarned, if you choose the latter, there will be nothing I can do to help you. The choice is yours, B."

Sufficiently chastised, I exhale, "Message received, Special Agent McCarty. I'll just have to endure it."

a/n –

Important Note: There will be two OLR updates this week in support of MrsTheKing's Reader Appreciation Day on February 28th. The Twilighted updates will likely be staggered, but both chapters will go up on on the 28th. In addition, there will also be a one-shot in the OLR universe posted that day that will be submitted for the Hidden Mask Challenge. It won't be posted before then, because it will give too much away, and you'll want to read chapters 9 and 10 first.

As ever, Kristi28 minds my p's and q's as my beta and Scarecrow. laura'sfirsttime, my ficsis is the OLR blog Mistress, you can find it here: http:// dsrubyslippers (dot) livejournal (dot) com/ All kinds of fun OLR tidbits can be found there. Unconditionally, is our resident wussperv for our OLR wussperv rating system. I adore each of you.

Edwardia Maven has spent countless hours going through every word I've written with her very particular British eye, and keeps me well sorted in all things English! I am so grateful for the countless hours she's frittered away with me, her unending patience, and fast friendship.

My Oz posse (Kristi28, laurasfirsttime, jenniferlyn. 215, MrsTheKing, distant. dream118, unconditionally, and jslack) are the best pre-readers in the Fandom. I feel fortunate to call you friends.

Creating OLR takes a village! OLR is better because of your input and contributions

My do-not-pass-GO, do-not-collect $200 fic rec for this week is: Do You Wanna Take a Ride With Me by stephk525. It's a saucy little tale that is deliciously citrusy from the first chapter, and funny. This one knows how to bring the funny which I enjoy.

There will be more information on the next updates on February 28th.

Until soon, my pretties!

xoxo,

drs