I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING
NOTE: I am sorry guys. I feel like a horrible person for not writing sooner but were moving again. I know that's like the fourth time since I started this story but our jobs have us move a lot. This time were settling down for a bit so hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently. So in this chapter a lot is going to go on and I hope you love it!
They had sat silently for a long time until Fenris had once again assured him that his mother would be fine. Leto hadn't said anything but opted instead to take his mother's hand and sitting next to her. Fenris had moved accordingly and Leto had taken his hand as well leaning his head into his father. Feeling him begin to fall asleep he took great pains not to move even as his arm was falling asleep and smiled to himself thinking how many times Marian had probably done the same. Looking down at her still form he felt so conflicted. He was angered beyond anything that he could ever remember feeling at her for keeping his son from him but on another side he understood at least partially why she had done it. Now that he was fearing for her life he was finding it hard to stay angry, but he knew his anger was justified.
Exhaling loudly and feeling his son stir he closed his eyes and laid his head against the wall only opening them when he heard Carver. Motioning to his son with his head he watched Carver nod understandingly before he said as softly as he could.
"She hasn't woken up has she?"
Fenris shook his head and watched Carver's face fall.
"I knew that's what you would say but I couldn't help but hope…"
His voice cracked and he swallowed thickly. Both men were silent for a long moment. Both because they were surprised at the level of emotion he was showing. After a moment Carver spoke again though his voice was still wavering.
"I never got to tell her how much I love her. I used to be an ass, but I really grew up you know? I could see her and I being as close as her and Bethany."
As if a thought just struck him he pinched his nose and said.
"Bethany doesn't even know. How are we going to get word to her? I don't even want to see Cullen. If I see him I'll kill him."
Fenris shook his head before saying.
"He didn't have a choice. You could tell when he was fighting us he wasn't going even half speed and if he hadn't ordered a retreat Marian really would've died."
Carver shook his head and opened his mouth to argue before closing it seeing his logic. Finally he nodded in agreement before repeating what Isabela had said the night before.
"It wasn't your fault. You told her to stop."
"I know, but that's Marian for you always doing the stupid thing."
It was Carver's turn to use his logic to try and make Fenris understand.
"She didn't want to leave her son without a father and…"
He broke off thinking for a moment before continuing, "You know she wouldn't have wanted to live in a world without you. She would've for Leto, but we both know there was no way she could've stopped herself from trying to save you. It wasn't in her not to try."
Seeing Fenris seem to sag against the wall he felt bad.
"That didn't help did it?"
Fenris offered a small smile once again surprising both men before he shook his head in the negative.
"But it was needed."
Moving next to them now he removed his armor and sat down before turning his gaze back to his sister. Leaning against the wall he was silent not knowing what to say and slowly others began to trickle in. Seeing the three of them sitting silently they joined them on the floor not speaking. It occurred to Fenris they were leaving the house unguarded and he quietly made his point only silencing when Aveline reminded him only a handful of Templars had been left and after so many had died they wouldn't risk losing any more people. Then when she realized she'd gotten everyone's attention she reminded them Meredith was weak as well before standing up and leaving only to return moments later with a haggard looking Anders and all his supplies. Seeing the looks of confusion she explained that if they'd chosen to stay in one room she wasn't leaving any one left alone. Just in case.
Anders had quickly moved to check on Hawke and noticed that she hadn't changed but frowned when he touched her head and noticed she was sweating. Attempting to pull the blanket back he was stopped by Fenris and began to speak until Fenris glared at him. Picking up his son and handing him to Carver before moving back to the bed and removing part of the blanket himself. Seeing Anders roll his eyes he felt his fists clench but reminded himself that as much as it was killing him that Anders could help her in a way that he couldn't, he couldn't hurt Anders. He knew if he did she might not ever wake up.
This knowledge didn't make the situation any better. He'd always thought and he still did, that Anders was not good enough for Hawke. If he told the truth he didn't think he was sometimes either and knew that if she could be happier with someone else he would love her enough to let her go. However she had made it clear that she had chosen him and that she loved him more than anything and despite his anger and hurt at her lying to him, there was no denying what his heart had been telling him since the night they'd conceived his son. He loved her and the fact that Anders could heal her while he couldn't killed him.
Hearing Anders say his name agitatedly he looked up from Marian.
"She's running a fever. I need you to help me give her a potion."
Fenris said nothing pulling the blanket back up and feeling how hot her skin was, he finally nodded and waited for him to get the potion. The group watched there interaction most not having been made aware of Fenris helping him last night. After he had gotten her to sit up, he propped her head up and tilted helping Anders get the potion down. They worked silently each tired of arguing at least for the moment and after a moment Fenris laid her gently down before smoothing her hair out of her face. Surprisingly Anders still said nothing but opted instead to move to the wall on the opposite side of the room and close his eyes.
"If her fever persists throughout the day you'll want to bathe her in cool water to try and lower her body temperature. I know you won't let me anywhere near her to do it."
Opening his eyes he looked at Fenris before giving him a slight nod. Surprised Fenris nodded back before watching Anders close his eyes again. Aveline and Sebastian were the least surprised because of how Fenris had acted the night before but the rest of the group that had traveled with them for years were shocked. Varric's fingers were twitching from wanting to write so badly and Merrill and Isabela were both looking at Carver for an explanation only to see him looking at Fenris like he was crazy. Ignoring the looks Fenris held his arms out for his son and Carver obliged and the room fell silent again not wanting to wake Leto.
As the day wore on the group had taken turns sleeping with Varric and Donnic pleading with Fenris to sleep as he was the only one who stayed awake throughout the day. He had refused instead opting to check on Marian throughout the day. Leto had been silent not speaking at all and Fenris had barley been able been able to convince him to eat. He'd taken to holding his mother's hand for dear life not letting it go and there companions especially Carver had felt their hearts go out to him.
They could see Fenris was struggling a little because he didn't know what to do and he was worried about Hawke himself but he kept trying to make Leto feel better and take care of him in the best way he knew how and Leto had taken to him right away of course. They could tell the day they saw him for the first time at the Wounded Coast that he loved Fenris. There was no question. It was becoming clear though that Leto didn't know how to handle his emotions or the situation because many times throughout the day he'd cried in Fenris' chest before going silent again when he was through and they finally realized this was something that he took after his father for. Fenris had been silent for most of the day as well save for when he had spoken to Carver earlier.
Seeing Leto looking at his mother once more Fenris decided to speak.
"Do you remember what I told you yesterday?"
Leto frowned thinking and he wanted to laugh when he noticed his face looked exactly like Marians. Shaking his head in the negative and clearly looking frustrated with himself he waited for his father to remind him.
"It might make her feel better if you talk to her. She may be able to hear you."
Looking excited for a second he nodded before placing himself by his mother and Fenris knew he was happy because he wanted some way to help. Even if it didn't work. He knew this because he felt the same way. He just wanted to help. Seeing his son frown he asked what was wrong only to hear Merrill giggle at his answer before apologizing.
"I don't know what to tell her she knows everything already."
Thinking for a moment he said.
"Tell her a story."
He grew quiet before looking to Sandal and Orana before grinning.
"I'll tell her about the night I was born."
Grinning Sandal yelled out.
"ENCHANTMENT!"
Making Leto begin giggling and reaching his arms out. Sandal immediately complied sitting down next to him and Bodhan and Orana followed with Orana gently ruffling his hair. Reaching for his mother's hand he began to speak.
"The night I was born it was a dark and stormy night and you were stuck in bed. You scared Orana and Bodhan because they didn't know what to do so you had to be strong. Bodhan was trying to get you to a healer but you were stubborn mother. You said I can handle it myself I know what to do."
He said mimicking his mother perfectly and making the group laugh.
"It was getting darker and darker and they kept bringing you water and keeping you cool and you were trying to be quiet so no one would hear because I was precious and you didn't want anyone discovering me. Then in the morning when the sun came up and the rain stopped I was here. Sandal took me from Orana and pretended I was his baby and walked with me throughout the mansion and you were getting mad and tried to follow before Bodhan managed to get me into your arms. You wanted to hold me first."
Here he paused and placed a kiss on his mother's forehead before continuing.
"When you held me for the first time you said. I'll love and protect you forever. You're the most important and precious gift I've ever been given. I love you Leto."
Smiling he said.
"My name means summer mother said. She said the sun came out right as I was born. She also said she knows why your mother decided to name you Leto father."
Fenris was quiet not knowing what to say but the rest of the group was full of questions. They were all speaking at once until Isabela made her voice the loudest.
"Why didn't your mother go to Anders?"
The rest of the group quieted down and after watching Leto glance at Anders he answered.
"Mother said that she couldn't tell anyone she had a son. She said that people would hurt her friends if they knew because of mother being the Champion. The bad people who want to hurt her would try to hurt me she didn't want you all to get hurt protecting us."
After thinking for a moment he added.
"Plus I would have been mad at mother if she told all of you without telling father and she wouldn't have asked you to lie and no offence to…Anders but I think my mother is a better healer."
No one said anything until Merrill said quietly.
"He's so much smarter than I was at his age."
Varric smiled indulgently at her before taking her hand not knowing how to respond.
"I'm glad Anders was not awake to hear that it would have started another fight perhaps you should tell us another story."
Sebastian asked. Grinning Leto nodded before saying that Varric was still the number one storyteller and he would be number two. Varric burst out laughing at this before nodding and flashing an apologetic look at Fenris. It seemed they felt guilty about laughing when Hawke was bedridden but Fenris was just glad his son was distracted. He was worried enough for all of them.
"I could tell you the time mother punched a nobleman in the face and broke his nose?"
Leto asked looking around for confirmation. Seeing the looks on the groups face he started to tell the tale.
"This was when grandmother was alive. She wanted mother to get married and mother kept refusing so she threw a party and didn't tell mother until that night. She had just come from killing spiders….or maybe shades…I can't remember but grandmother had a dress waiting and forced mother to get dressed up. She was mad but didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings so she went. All the nobleman were there someone named Seamus and a whole bunch of others."
Here Sebastian interrupted making Leto pout.
"Seamus, the viscount's son?"
Leto nodded.
"I think so?"
Sebastian looked surprised but didn't ask anything further so he continued.
"Anyway she was asked to dance by Seamus and mother said when they danced he tried to grab her in a bad place so she punched him in front of everyone! She said grandmother got really mad because blood got all over the carpet but she wasn't mad when mother told her why."
Waiting for them to say something he got impatient and spoke again.
"And see when mother told me that story she said that's why you don't touch girls on the butt."
This made the group laugh and Fenris watched Orana place a hand over her eyes and shake her head. When the room got quiet again Leto spoke once more but this time his voice was very small.
"Will mother ever wake up? I miss her."
Carver was the one to answer him his voice uncharacteristically quiet as well.
"She's tough as nails and to damn stubborn to not wake up."
Leto smiled before squeezing his mother's hand. Feeling her skin he turned to his father and said.
"Mother's really hot."
Getting up from his place on the floor and feeling muscles complain he felt her skin before asking for her friends to get cool water to fill the bath with. Obliging immediately they had the tub filled in no time and Fenris asked everyone to wait outside. Seeing Leto still standing there he asked Sandal and Varric to tell him a story in the other room and he found himself alone with Marian. Lifting her gently he felt sweat pouring off of her and set her down gently in the tub and began washing her to help her fever. He felt nothing seeing her nude form which surprised him. He had thought seeing her this way would make him relive the memories of her touch but instead he felt protectiveness and love.
Seeing goosebumps rise on her arms he swore at himself and raised her out and dried and changed her before holding her still on his lap and slowly trying to stand up without dropping her. Laying her down on the floor and hating himself for doing it, he quickly changed the sheets and blankets on her bed before taking the heavy blanket off completely before setting her in the bed and making sure she was as comfortable as he could make her.
He knew Leto wanted to come back in the room but he heard them talking and knew the story wasn't over and he wanted a moment alone with her. Taking her hand he felt something wet hit his hand and realized he had tears running down his face. Wiping them hastily away he began to talk to her.
"Leto misses you. He's afraid and….I'm…afraid. Marian I don't know if you can hear me but I know you're in there. I know you are. You have to come back to me. I can't do this without you. I've never said I love you to anyone before, but I would say it to you Marian. Please wake up."
Placing his head on the bed he felt more tears escape but as before wiped them away knowing he had to be strong for his son.
And that's it for now! The next chapter is big like really really big so please stick around. I know normally that Fenris is a really strong character but like Marian he's still human and has a softer side which I hope I portrayed right here. Also Marians not getting off easy. He's still mad and they have a long way to go but the near death is making him come to grips with how he really feels.