AVPSY! OMR WHO WATCHED IT? WHO LOVED IT? WHO ELSE CRIED AT THE END?

Ahem. Anywho, I watched it, loved it, and cried at the end. I also have a new poll on my profile about this story's sequel. Go vote!

Also, I'm sorry if this chapter sucks. I'm not in a very funny mood this morning. (Thanks a lot Cartoon Network. Young Justice just killed me this morning. I can't believe you killed my favorite character.)

OKAY! THANKS FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS, NINJAS.

Disclaimer: I don't own Starkid's musicals or JKR's amazing books.

Act 1 Scene 9

Snape: Attention all Hogwarts students! In celebration of All Hollow's Eve, we'll be taking a field trip to Hogsmeade. Please go out to the courtyard with your signed Hogsmeade permission form. Students without their permission form will be killed, but they won't be allowed to go. It'll be a whole load of fun.

"Uh…that seems a little extreme."

"Duh, Ron. It's Snape."

Draco: You know Goyle, using the potty's not so bad.

Malfoy groaned as the Gryffindors snickered.

I don't know why I was afraid of it all those years. I think I was concerned about falling in but I have found that if I climb on top of the potty, right, and I put one foot on either side of the potty hole rim and get a firm holding, I'm actually quite safe.

"Oh my God, Malfoy!" Harry said through his laughter. Malfoy was slowly turning red. Whether it was from embarrassment or anger, no one could tell.

"Damn those Muggles," he muttered.

And you know using the potty's a great time to socialize?

Everyone except for Malfoy laughed even harder. Even Snape was smiling a bit.

You simply, you look over to the stall next to you and you have a right chat with your neighbor! Oh, hello there good sir! First time using the potty too, eh? Good luck, my man. And then simply squat, like so, and I do my business in my diaper as usual, and then I undo the side latches and simply let the diaper fall into the potty. Yes, Father will hear of this.

Hermione facepalmed. "You failed and potty training, Malfoy."

Umbridge: Permission form to Hogsmeade? Welcome to Hogsmeade. Permission form to Hogsmeade? Have fun in Hogsmeade. Permission form to Hogsmeade?

Harry: Uh no, I'm Harry Potter.

"That doesn't work," Harry grumbled. Ron patted him on the back sympathetically.

"Well, you went anyways, right?"

Harry glared at Ron when Snape turned towards the two. Ron winced.

"So you did go that first day?" Snape's eyes narrowed. "How, exactly, did you manage this?"

"Uh…look! Umbridge is talking!"

Umbridge: Hehe dur dur dur dur dur! I'm sorry; I didn't realize that I was in the presence of royalty.

"Potter? Royalty? As if," Malfoy snorted.

"Well…" Sirius said thoughtfully. "Technically, Potters aren't royalty, but I'm pretty sure that in the Wizarding World, being a pureblood is basically royalty." He made a face. "And Potters can be traced back pretty far." He tapped his chin in thought. "I think they're even related to the Peverells."

Dumbledore paled slightly, but no one noticed because Hermione was bouncing in excitement.

"Who are the Peverells?"

Sirius waved the question away. "Just an old family. Don't worry about it, it's probably unimportant."

Harry: Oh, that's okay.

Umbridge: Oh my God, everybody look, it's Harry Freakin' Potter!

Everyone: Yay!

Umbridge: Oh my god, he is so dreamy and he's so rich and famous.

"I'm going to barf. I do not want to hear those words from Umbridge's mouth ever again."

Mr. Potter! Mr. Potter, would you play me a little song on your guitar? Oh wait, Mr. Potter, Mr. Potter, will you sign my boob? Oh right over here.

Harry looked green as everyone else in the room laughed.

Harry: Is this—oh! -Umbridge has him in a head-lock-

Umbridge: I wonder what would happen if I just broke your fingers because then you wouldn't be able to play the guitar anymore and then all your little friends would just leave you alone and then you'd be just like Umbridge. Except Umbridge can kick your ass. Now you're a rule breaker Potter, and it's time for your punishment.

Harry glanced at the scar on his hand. I must not tell lies.

Harry: What punishment?

Umbridge: Oh, it's nothing too bad. You just have to take this knife, -pulls out a knife- put it upright on a chair, and sit on it Potsy!

Neville: Excuse me, ma'am?

Harry sighed in relief. "Thank Merlin for Neville."

Umbridge: Who's disrespecting Umbridge? You wanna die Shlongbottom?

Neville: No ma'am, I just came to delivery these. -holds out flowers-

"Please tell me those aren't from who I think they are."

Umbridge: What are those? Speak boy!

Neville: F-Flowers f-f-for you.

"Um, duh." Ginny rolled her eyes.

Umbridge: F-f-flowers f-f-for me? This must be some kind of mistake.

Neville: N-n-no mistake ma'am, I was told explicitly to bring them to you.

Umbridge: Put them on the ground and back away quickly. They don't seem explosive or poisonous.

"They're flowers."

They smell absolutely delightful and their snapdragons. Oh my God, these are my favorite. Who could have known that?

Neville: Why don't you read the card, ma'am.

Umbridge: Okay, little boy! It says, Dear Umbridge—that's me—I thought you might like these, cutie. Oh my.

"Wait for it…"

Neville: Might I ask who this gentleman caller is?

Umbridge: Sure! It's signed Big D.

"And there it is." Fred looked smug.

"Big D is most likely Dumbledore then." George said.

I wonder who that could be. Thank you, little boy.

Neville: WHOA! -runs away as Umbridge trys to hug him.-

Umbridge: Oh, Potter, um, what was I saying again?

Harry: You were telling me to sit on a knife.

"Wow, self. That was very smart of you."

Umbridge: Oh! That's right. How silly of me, well, it sounds like your mama got a little bit carried away with herself, but she's not an unreasonable mama. In fact, she's pretty cool, right? Right, so what do you girls say we all go on down to Hogsmeade and have a little bit of fun huh? Hogsmeade! Hogsmeade everyone! Have fun in Hogsmeade, have fun in to Hogsmeade, have fun in Hogsmeade, have fun in Hogsmeade, have fun in Hogsmeade—not you Potter. You still need a permission form.

"I know that."

Ron: Well, I'll tell you all about it. It's probably gonna suck. -runs away-

"It didn't suck," Ron protested.

Harry: Bye, Ron. What's the matter Malfoy? You're not going to Hogsmeade?

Draco: Certainly not, it's beneath my dignity.

Harry: Whatever.

Draco: -lays down with paper and crayons- Dear Papa, I'm writing to enquire about my Hogsmeade permission form.

"Aw, poor Malfoy." Ron said sarcastically.

"Why won't his daddy send him whatever he wants?" Harry grinned towards a scowling Malfoy.

I sent it to you on the very first day of school and I'm anxiously awaiting its return with your signature on it, but don't rush, Daddy! Missing out on trips like this allows me more time to write letters to you.

"That's sweet," Ginny smiled.

Yes, things at Hogwarts are going quite swimmingly. I'm the most popular boy at school, why, even Harry Potter likes me.

"Fat chance."

I'm also the darling of every classroom and the favorite of every professor who has any sense.

"So only Snape has sense?"

Oh, and most importantly I have mastered the use of the potty. Yes, I admit I was a late bloomer but you can imagine my pride as I strode into Charms class and said, "Oh, hello gents! Professor Flitwick, sorry for my tardiness, I was just learning how to use the potty." Oh how the children laughed with me in celebration. I like making people laugh. I also like the potty. I know you haven't done so all year but you can feel free to write me anytime. Hugs and Butterfly Kisses, Your Draco.

"I am so signing my letters like that now," Ginny grinned as Malfoy fumed.

Oh P.S., tell Mama to bugger off.

Malfoy frowned.

Hedwig: Hoot, hoot! Seamus Finnigan! Letter for Seamus Finnigan!

"Is that Hedwig?" Ron asked.

"No way!" Harry replied. "Hedwig isn't a school bird."

"What makes you think she's a school bird?"

"She said 'Letter for Seamus Finnigan'."

"Oh, yeah."

Draco: Hey, you there, bird.

Hedwig: Yes, Malfoy?

Draco: So you have anything in there for me? Perhaps from my Daddy?

Hedwig: Oh let me see here. Hmmm…nope, sorry kid. Nothing here from Lucius Malfoy. Hey, cheer up kid, do you want a Toys R Us catalog?

"What is that?" Malfoy questioned.

"A Muggle toy store." Hermione answered carefully.

Malfoy just nodded and turned back to the screen. Hermione looked faintly surprised that he hadn't sneered and said some sarcastic comment back at her.

Draco: No, I just want to know why my Daddy won't write.

Hedwig: Listen kid, I don't have all the answers. I don't even know why I can talk really.

"Neither do I," Harry said.

But as another talking animal once said, "All fathers care for their sons." So hang in there, okay?

Draco: Okay. Goodbye Hedwig.

Harry gaped at the screen. "Hedwig isn't a school bird!"

Hedwig: Goodbye.

Remus: Hey, Harry. Harry Potter, wanna go to Hogsmeade or not?

Harry: More than anything.

Remus: Feast your eyes on this, the Marauder's Map.

Harry grinned. The twins looked put out.

"Hey!" Fred protested.

"We gave you that!" George finished.

Remus chuckled. "And I'm the one who took it."

The twins stared at Remus. "What?!"

"Maybe I'll tell you that story some other time."

Harry: What?

Remus: It shows the current location of everyone inside Hogwarts and also has all the secret passages out of the castle. Here, take it.

Harry: Who made this thing?

Remus: Well, I certainly helped. No, but it was me, your dad, some other guy and Sirius Black.

"Messers. Moony," Remus started.

"Wormtail," Ron muttered hatefully.

"Padfoot," Sirius grinned, though it looked a bit strained at the mention of Wormtail.

"And Prongs," Harry smiled, thinking of his father.

"Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers," Fred continued.

"Are proud to present," George spread his arms out dramatically.

"The Marauder's Map." The finished in unison. Everyone else in the room just stared at them weirdly.

"You guys are freaks," Ginny said. She then turned back to the screen as the boys pouted.

Harry: You mean my dad's traitor best friend?

Remus: No, no! I am your dad's traitor best friend. I'm your dad's traitor. No! I am your dad's best friend, okay? Don't forget it.

"Smooth, Remus."

Snape: Hey Lupin, want to go look at the full moon with me? Haha zombie…

"Of course, it would be Snape."

Remus: Snape! Alright, Harry, I gotta go. Listen, just stay out of the Shrieking Shack okay? I'm a werewolf in there.

Remus smacked his forehead. "Did I really just tell him that?"

Harry: Wait, what?

"I know. That was really stupid."

"Well…time for the next one!"

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