I really don't own Glee, otherwise there would be more Kurt and Dave, and Dave would be a lot less of a meathead.
Rated M for safety due to themes, language, and potential future scenes.
Tried to stick to canon, and made it to Blame it on the Alcohol now, follows Dave's POV only, there is very little Kurt interaction. And its all AU obviously as Meg and Co wouldn't exist. – But silent discos do.
Define ImaginaryChapter Ten – Blame it on the Alcohol Part Two
I introduce Roc and Wolf to Vernon and leave them to talk, at one point Vernon screeches "Glooms!" and goes really pale. Wondering what the hell those are I head for a shower and get changed the party's gonna kick off shortly.
Raiding the fridge for a drink I find the gremlin standing near the fridge light with a spanner in his hands. Jumping he whips the spanner behind his back and gives a little wave, "Hur! Hur, hur," he says.
"I have no idea what you just said," I tell him. "Please don't break anything my dad can't afford to get it fixed." The gremlin holds his free hand up and makes a sign, "You were a boy scout?" I ask surprised.
He gives me a look that says I'm stupid for falling for it, "Hur, hur hur hur," and then he laughs at me.
"Fine, but I'm telling Meg if things go pyrotechnical," I threaten, he shrugs unconcerned. Closing the fridge door I walk away and try not to think about it, this is the last time I invite a gremlin to a party. I really hope Meg can fix whatever he breaks.
Stepping out into the back yard I can see a giant pool has been constructed and filled, walking over to it I peer down to see one end is quite shallow but it drops away quickly and I can't see the bottom of the other end. I'm standing about half way down and the water is deep when a face appears and bursts up, I fall back and land on my butt and the woman leans over the side giggling at me. I'm staring at a mermaid.
Her hair is made of seaweed and her skin has tiny little scales all over it, her eyes are just like mine but are yellow. She giggles at me and her voice has an echo of waves I've heard on the TV. Standing back up I move closer and look down into the water, she has a tail the same colour as her eyes, it fans out like one of those posh goldfish fins.
"Hi," she says smiling invitingly at me.
"Um, hi," I answer lamely. To be fair I've never met a mermaid before and I'm not sure what you are supposed to say to one when it's in an Imaginary pool in your back yard.
Swimming back from the edge she splashes water at me, "Wont you swim with me," she gazes up adoringly at me, the water swirling her hair away from her torso and her well endowed tits. And I feel absolutely nothing, a stray thought wanders across my brain, that if she were Kurt I'd be in there like a shot.
Confused I shake my head, "Err, maybe later."
Giving me an offended sniff she dives down and leaves me staring after her. Shouts from the other side of the garden rouse me and I find two centaurs in the middle of a wrestling match with their friends cheering both of them on indiscriminately. The winner is toasted and then the loser is toasted, and they pillage the bar for more drinks before the next match begins.
Oh, Imaginary alcohol. Wandering off I help myself to a bottle of beer and sit down to watch them. Three bouts in and the wolf sits beside me, "We have spoken to Vernon and he has agreed to allow us the honour of watching over you."
"Really?" I can't see why guarding me is an honour or even an issue.
"Yes, he was unaware you had even left the house which has built in protection, as such he will continue to keep the house, but Roc and I will be watching over you elsewhere." Laying down he's still bigger than me, "Who is winning?" he looks at the centaurs.
"No idea dude, they keep wrestling and then drinking, and then they go back to wrestling again."
Nodding the wolf says, "That does indeed sound like centaurs," glancing at the beer in my hand it comments, "I would be careful, that is stronger than it looks."
"Meg told me when I had Imaginary popcorn that it didn't have calories, so does that mean I can't get drunk or have a hangover from Imaginary beer?" I ask it curiously.
"Yeah you can get drunk on that stuff," Roc sits next to me a beer in his hand, "And don't get me started on the hangover, you'll wish you were dead to stop the pain." He grimaces so I guess he's been there done that. I'll just pace myself and make sure to keep my consumption low.
A loud whooshing and a big dragon lands in the yard, it's a standard cartoon green but my jaw drops anyway as a very feminine voice issues from it, "Oh I say this is a perfectly wonderful nice little mortal dwelling, is it abandoned?"
Vernon is then standing there and talking to her and she looks across at me, I'm still staring when Roc nudges me and I give a wave and smile, she nods and heads to the bar, the centaurs gallop out of her way which triggers a race and they are off, kicking up dust as they pass us.
Speakers appear out of thin air and music starts up, just some low background tinkle stuff, the sort that is there but doesn't get in the way of talking.
Squatting down in front of me Vernon hands out these big headphones, he says it's for the disco later, and as he doesn't want any noise complaints he's gone for a silent disco. It turns out if you want to dance you just put the headphones on, there are going to be eight different channels running at the same time so there should be something for everyone, when you want a rest or want to talk you just slip the headphones off.
"I've spoken to the weather people," he tells us, "and they've agreed to suspend the rain for the next few days for the party so we can use the garden as well as the house." Of course as he says that a small storm cloud with lightening forking down drifts across the yard, it's maybe as wide as I am tall, circling it is a mini sun and moon which are giggling and I think they may be trying to salsa. All three of them have the headphones on.
"Now Dave, I've banned everyone from your room, so when you've had enough you can go to bed, you need your sleep and an all weekend party is just that, all weekend, it won't stop until Monday morning." My eyes widen at that bit of information. Looking down at the ground Vernon apologies to me, "I'm so sorry I wasn't with you earlier, I should have been there, I know I'm new at this but that was inexcusable." Before I can say anything he flits away.
At that point the party swings into action big time. Anything and everything you could possibly imagine turns up in my backyard at one point. The DJ is a giant squid who is sitting at the bottom of the pool with eight turn tables around it, and the headphones have eight channels so I can swop between them to find something to listen to, they even have volume control so you can keep talking.
Keeping Roc's warning in mind I'm careful not to overdo the alcohol as I party along with everyone else. They are all really friendly and happy to talk and dance and generally have fun. It's different from the parties I normally go to, which are just the popular kids and the theme running through them is to get with someone, this one is relaxed and the theme is fun.
Needing a breather and soaking wet from my dip in the pool for a game of water polo verses the mermaids, which we'd lost but I still think using their tails counts as cheating, I go to my room and get changed. Collapsing on the bed I sprawl out and grin to myself, this party is pretty awesome.
"Hur," says the Gremlin appearing next to me. He's trailing a half empty bottle of beer.
"Roc said you can get a killer hangover from that," I warn him, he shrugs at me. Wondering what everyone else's parties are like I wish Meg was here so I could see them. Glancing at the gremlin wandering around my room I hatch a plan, "So dude, as a gremlin can you make Imaginary stuff work?"
Giving me a look that says of course he can, he sarcastically says, "Hur, hur, hur."
"I'll take that as a yes, coz Meg has this flat screen thing and she can use it to show me people," I tell him, "Can you make it work?" And I hold my breath.
"Hur," he confirms and jumps back onto the bed, the flat screen suddenly beside me. It flickers to life and it shows my bedroom with me sitting on the bed and the gremlin standing and waving to me.
"How do I make it change view?" I ask him. He touches the side of the screen and a menu bar pops up. It has an area I can put a person's name in. Deciding I tap Az's name in and press enter.
A scene clears and shows me Az drunk and high leaning against a wall trying to chat a bored looking cheerleader up. The gremlin points at another control and I can change the camera angle even move around the room to see other people. The whole party looks like normal, in other words boring, just an excuse to get drunk and talk shit with the usual people.
On impulse I tap in Rachel Barry's name. She's wearing this hideous green dress thing, or it could be a tent I'm not sure. Everyone from Glee is there and they look bored, I knew the party would be bad. Kurt turns up with the preppy kid, which is like a kick to the stomach, but Kurt looks amazing in this red shirt with one black strap, what the hell is that about? Zooming in I can follow him as he gracefully moves across what I assume is a basement floor at Berry's, there is something flawless about him.
"Hur?" The gremlin asks, "Hur, hur hur hur." He indicates Kurt and makes an appreciative gesture.
"Dude, no! I'm not gay," I tell him. He rolls his eyes at me.
On the screen the Glee kids attack Berry's dads' liqueur cabinet. Not wanting to watch Kurt and the preppy kid any more I thank the Gremlin and flee my room heading back to the party my heart beating so fast, it must be because I walked quickly that's all.
Joining in with the jousting, one of the centaurs kindly lets me use him as a mount, we make it through to the semi finals before we lose. Fireflies put on an amazing dazzling display to rival any fireworks I've ever seen. And the gremlin is roped into upgrading my Xbox, so a new knockout tournament begins, we start with a hundred contestants and then it gets narrowed down and I'm knocked out. Roc makes it to the top three, before the other two gang up on him and then duke it out to the general cheering of the party goers.
When the giant conga line forms I plead exhaustion and go hide in my bedroom, laughing as I watch it snaking around the neighbourhood. The screen is still on my bed and I'm drawn to it.
The angle is still centred on Kurt and he's dancing with Finn and the preppy boy, and that boy is so drunk it's hilarious. When he clings to Finn and tells him he's tall I laugh at their faces. Turns out his name is Blaine, which sounds as preppy as he is.
Yawning I stretch out as the Gleeks play spin the bottle, I'm sniggering at Blaine having to kiss Rachel but then he's really into it and part of me is so happy, then I see Kurt's face and I want to slushy the kissing pair, to locker them until they see sense and throw them in the trash for hurting Kurt.
I growl at them as they sing that fucking song together and my chest is hurting again at the strain on Kurt's face as he gazes up at them.
A knock on my door and my dad is leaning there, "I'm home David," he says, "Are you still free for tomorrow?"
I really don't want to go, but then neither does he and he loves golf, "Yeah dad, I'll be there."
His grateful smile is almost worth it, and our golden ties gleam in the lamp light. "Thanks David, I'm going to bed now, don't stay up too late son."
"I won't dad, see you in the morning," I call after him.
Sighing I get up and go grab a glass of water, I suppose I should go to bed soon too we need to get up fairly early in the morning. Oh joy.
My good intentions go straight out the window when I go looking for Roc and wolf and find a newly created ice rink set up next to the pool. Roc gives me imaginary ice skates and after explaining the rules to them a hockey match gets under way. I'll go to bed later, there's plenty of time.
Celebrating my team's win on the ice I'm laughing with the dragon when the karaoke starts up. I must be crazy because a giant colourful butterfly is doing a rock classic and is fantastic. Roc hassles me and I finally give in and do a Michael Buble number, blushing at the end because they've all gone quiet I'm stunned when they all cheer and clap, bowing deeply I scoot off the stage so the next performer, the storm cloud I spotted earlier can go on.
"Dude that rocked!" Roc says, and high fives me.
Trying for modesty I say, "Thanks, but I'm not that good."
"Perhaps all you required is practice," wolf says, it's head bobbing along with the song the storm cloud is singing, a catchy bright pop thing. "I did like your voice, and I agree with Roc it was more than adequate."
Still not used to praise I blush again. "Um guys, I have to go out with my dad to the golf course," my voice conveys how much I want to go, "I hope you won't get too bored there."
"We shall be fine Dave," wolf says, "I have not been to this golf before it shall be an experience."
"Okay, well I'll see you in the morning, I need some sleep," a yawn sneaks up on me. I wave to them and go to bed. Maybe tomorrow wont be too bad, Roc and wolf seem to be okay, they're not Meg and I wonder how she is getting on.
A/N: I've done my best to catch as many mistakes as I can but any and all mistakes are entirely the fault of my keyboard, I've talked to it and it promises to try harder.
Just had to put a silent disco it, been to one and it's seriously fun!