There is nowhere better than here with you
The God Phoenix shuddered slightly, and from experience I knew that the sensation meant that we had just docked inside of the Crescent Coral Base. I was still standing in the doorway, and Jinpei was startled when he looked up to see me.
"Uh… Aniki… have you been here the whole time?" he asked, embarrassed.
"No." I lied, wanting him to feel more comfortable. "I just got back."
"Okay." the Swallow said, looking a little more at ease.
"I'll take Jun." I offered, bending down to lift her in my arms. I tried to be as gentle as I could, but when I put my arm under her neck her eyes opened and she smiled at me.
"Ken…" she whispered, "you really are here…"
For a moment, my heart was doing somersaults. She had been dreaming about me.
"Yes, and we're going to get you some help." I replied, pretending that her words hadn't gotten to me.
Jun leaned her head on my chest as I lifted her, blanket and all, to take her from the God Phoenix. It somehow felt right, having her there, cuddled against my body, with an expression of contentment on her face.
Despite the circumstances, there was nowhere else I wanted to be but there, with the Swan in my arms. I tightened my grip around her, feeling her body press against mine even through the silvery blanket wrapped around her.
I walked out the Bridge, with Jinpei following behind, standing on the elevation platform and then flying off of the top of the ship to land on the floor of the Docking Bay. Joe and Ryu were already there with Dr. Nambu.
"How is she doing?" he asked, concerned for Jun's welfare.
"Her body temperature was at 31.2 degrees." Joe reported, "I put the heating blanket on her, to bring it slowly back up to normal."
"Her color has gotten better." I told the Doctor. "She's been awake and has talked to us briefly. But she seems very tired." I looked down at the Swan in my arms. She was asleep again.
"Let's bring her to the Medical Facilities." Nambu said, indicating that I should walk with him. "The fact that she's conscious, but sleeping, is a good sign. Her body is trying to heal itself. I'll just have the doctors examine her, to make sure that everything is fine."
I forced my face to remain stoic, as if I were simply showing the concern of a Commander for a subordinate who had been injured in action.
"How did this happen?" the Doctor asked.
"We were on the scorpion mecha just before the charges detonated. Jun pushed me out of the way of the blast, and then I lost track of her during the explosion." I explained. "It took me some time to locate her afterward, and when I did she was buried in the snow. I'm guessing that the force of the explosion threw her onto the mountainside, and then she was covered with a small avalanche."
"It's a good thing that you found her when you did." Nambu said gravely. "The human body cannot withstand a much lower internal temperature than 31 degrees."
We entered the Medical Facilities, Joe, Jinpei, and Ryu trailing behind us. I laid Jun down as gently as I could on the gurney provided, but the moment my hands left her body she began convulsing.
"She's going into cardiac arrest!" a doctor cried, pushing me out of the way with a defibrillator in his hands. The blanket was torn off of her body, and the electric plates pressed to her chest.
"Clear!" the doctor yelled, and Jun's body leapt up off of the gurney as the electrical surge passed through her body. She took a deep breath, then relaxed to normal.
"Thank goodness these things work as you said they would." the doctor turned to Hakase. "I would never have expected that they would operate through the Birdstyle."
"I'm just grateful that I designed them that way." replied Dr. Nambu. His voice was calm, but he was wiping beads of sweat from his forehead with his handkerchief.
"Let's get her into the ER." the doctor ordered his assistants. He glanced briefly at the rest of us.
"I'll let you know of our results as soon as I can."
I sank slowly to a chair, unconsciously de-transmuting as I did so. When Jun had been convulsing like that, I had felt as if my heart were stopping as well. And a strange sense of guilt lingered with me… it was as if by letting her go, I had caused her heart to stop.
And I had let her go… not just then, but earlier, in the Medical Bay, when I had released her hand the moment she had awoken. And emotionally, I had been trying to let go of Jun for a long time…
It suddenly occurred to me that keeping my distance was hurting her just as much as it was hurting me.
The truth was, wherever Jun was, was where I wanted to be. Every time I left her, I felt as if I were leaving something previous behind.
Only now, she was leaving me.
And it was all my fault.