Ric Griffin entered the room a little apprehensively; not knowing what to say to Tom who sat silently in the room, Anita asleep, her hand still clutching Tom's.

"How's she doing?" Ric asked the greying man whose normally strong and bold demeanour had been replaced by one filled with grief.

"She uh...she's resting now." He told Ric; not able to tear his eyes away from the woman he loved so much.

"Tom I'm so sorry." Ric told him honestly, not wishing any of what Tom had been through that evening on any person.

"Sure you are." Tom replied sarcastically.

"No Tom really I am." Ric reassured him. "I don't know how you've gotten through it." He admitted.

"I got through it because I have to. Because I love her." Tom told Ric truthfully, his voice starting to break with sadness.

"Yeah. Somehow you manage to deal with the hardest situations just because you love them." He replied pulling up a chair next to Tom thinking of Diane.

"It doesn't stop it hurting though does it?" Tom commented.

"It certainly doesn't." Ric replied knowingly.

"You know she cried herself to sleep? She blames herself for the baby." Tom told Ric sadly.

"Do you?" Ric asked him.

"Blame Anita? Ric how can I answer that?"

Ric looked at the floor.

"Our baby died because of the stress that Anita's body had been through. Yes that stress was self inflicted tonight because she took those pills but who's to say that if she'd have carried on feeling the way she was this wouldn't have happened anyway? God Ric I'm so angry that all this had to happen. I'm angry that she felt she had to do this, I'm angry that our baby's gone...but how is it right for me to be angry with her? She blames herself enough for this already; she's going to blame herself for the rest of her life. If I l blame her too..."

"I know. It's a difficult situation."

"I just wish that I had them both. I wish that tonight had never happened. I wish I could just redo the whole night and tell her I loved her in the bar. I wish I could have noticed the signs and stopped this from ever happening."

"You can't see the signs if they don't want you to." Ric told Tom softly.

Tom looked at the floor.

"I should have done something. I almost lost her Ric. I had to stand here with her and watch her lose our baby and she was terrified. I was terrified. I don't know how to feel right now." He admitted.

"And that's okay." Ric reassured him.

"But I am angry with her Ric and I hate myself so much for saying it. I'm trying to understand what made her do this but it's so hard. If there hadn't of been the baby it would have been easier. But our child's gone because of the overdose...and I know she had no idea about the baby, I know if she had things might have been different because she wanted that child so much, but ultimately it's still gone because of everything that's happened tonight and...oh god. How can I be so horrible? I should be thankful enough that I have her." Tom told him breaking down.

"You're not horrible. You're coming to terms with everything that's happened. Your feelings are natural." Ric reassured him.

Tom looked at Ric gratefully.

"Were you angry with Diane?" He asked fiddling with his watch, knowing he was asking something very personal to Ric, and which the man still found hard to deal with.

"Tom, I uh don't know if Diane would like me to be talking about this." Ric told him quickly.

Tom sighed.

"Right sorry."

Ric looked at the broken man in front of him and sighed in resignation, wanting to help any way he could.

"I was. I was so angry I have to admit. But I wouldn't show her that. I was angry that she said she loved me but she still wanted a way out. She still wanted to end her life, which I was a part of. I was angry because I wanted to understand. But there's no way we can understand it Tom. All we can do is be there when they need us, if, that is; you feel you still can do that."

"Of course I do. I wouldn't be here if I couldn't. Anita's seen the worst of me Ric and she's helped me through that. It's my turn. Now I want to help her." He told Ric holding Anita's hand up to his cheek.

Ric smiled.

"It's not going to be easy." He told Tom regretfully.

"I know, but I love her."

"That's all you need." Ric told his colleague patting him on the shoulder.

"Where is Diane?" Tom asked tiredly rubbing his eyes.

"Fast asleep in the staff room on Keller. I think I'm going to take her home now. It's been a long night. I think she's emotionally all tapped out."

"She's not alone." Tom remarked.

"She's definitely not." Ric replied. "We'll come and see you tomorrow okay? If you need anything just call."

Tom nodded.

"Thank you. And when Diane wakes up thank her for me. I know she spoke to Anita earlier. It means a lot."

Ric nodded.

"Take care of her Tom." He told him looking at Anita's resting figure.

"Always." Tom replied lovingly looking at her too, then giving Ric a gentle smile before the other man left the room.

"It's not going to be easy for you to forgive me is it?" Came a croaky voice from the bed.

Tom got up out of his chair and walked over to her, sitting down at the head of the bed and wiping the tears off her face.

"Anita..." he whispered tenderly.

"I heard you. I heard you say you're angry. I heard you talking about the baby and how... I know it was my fault. What you said its true and I'm sorry." She told him tearfully.

"Shush I know you are." He whispered stroking her cheek. "You couldn't have known about the baby."

"But that doesn't excuse what I did." She told him sadly.

"You did it because you couldn't see any other way. Because you're sick, and now we're going to get you better. I'm going to help you, just like all those times you've helped me."

"You should just leave. I killed our baby. I know how much that's hurting you."

"Sweetheart you had no idea about the baby. You took those drugs without knowing and losing our child was a consequence of all of the trauma your body's been through. You couldn't have done anything to stop that."

"But I should have realised I was pregnant. I was being sick Tom and I just ignored it. I drank tonight..I...just... I wish..."

"I know." He soothed.

"If you want to go I don't blame you." She told him turning away. "You wanted a way out, now I'm giving you one."

"I don't want it. I realised tonight you're the most important thing in my life. I should have told you that a long time ago but I was scared. I've realised tonight life's too short for fear."

"I don't want you to be with me if you can't forgive me, or just because you feel you have to because you think I'm weak or need taking care of. Or because you feel guilty. I didn't do this to make you feel like you have to stay with me." She told him coughing.

"I know you didn't. Anita I'm staying whether you like it or not. I need you to fight through this okay? And yeah I know this isn't going to be easy. It's damn hard but I'm here. You know you're going to be a great mother one-day. Tonight it just wasn't meant to be." He told her leaning down to kiss her forehead as she cried.

"I wanted our baby Tom." She told him tearfully.

"I know me too." He told her breaking down also. "But there'll be other chances you'll see." He reassured her.

"But it won't make tonight any easier will it?" She told him tearfully, clinging on to him for dear life. "It won't change the fact that while I lived our baby died...because of..."

"No it won't make tonight any easier. It won't make me stop loving you either. You couldn't have known my darling. Stop placing blame. If I can't find it in my heart to do it you shouldn't either."

"I just feel so empty. I feel so sad." She told him tearfully.

"I know. Me too." He replied softly, pulling her gently into his embrace as they mourned the loss of their child but realised just how soothing the love two people shared could be.