Trixie enters the room, and finds Patsy sitting on the edge of her bed, staring at the bassinet near her bed. Trixie quietly closes the door behind her. Without a word she makes her way over to Patsy. She takes a seat next to her on the bed. She smiles at her.
"What's on your mind?" She asks softly.
"It occurs to me that I have mostly no idea what I am doing," she answers with tears welling up in her eyes, as she feels particularly overwhelmed.
"Does that mean that you have decided that you are doing this?" Trixie questions, gently.
"Yes, it does," she grins, briefly.
"You look utterly terrified."
"What if I am not cut out for this?"
"I suspect that you feel that way simply because it is an endeavor in which you learn as you go, which can be challenging, and quite scary."
She shrugs subtly, "Maybe."
"I have never seen you so uncertain of yourself."
"I just don't want to bugger this up."
"You won't."
"You don't know that. A child, especially a boy needs a father, and I can't provide him with one. It isn't fair to him, and I am not sure that I can ever make up for that."
"You will just have to be both parents."
"How am I supposed to do all of this on my own? I can't even fathom going back to work right now. Who would take care of him while I'm gone? What happens if he gets sick, and I am unreachable? What if he needs me, and I am not there?"
"You are not alone," Trixie reminds her, "We are all here for you."
"This isn't anyone's responsibility but mine."
"It takes a community, Patsy. None of us are going to jump ship because you suddenly have this dashing young fellow. You have to go into this knowing that you are going to need help, and that is perfectly okay."
"You should head down stairs, or there won't be any cobbler left by the time you get there."
"Dinner can wait. Aren't you coming down?"
"I can't hear him all the way down there."
"You could just bring him with you."
"I'll just stay up here, it is fine. I don't want to ruin everyone's evening with a wailing baby."
"I think you should join us. He seems perfectly content right now. I think everyone would like to meet him. I am not certain that Sister Monica Joan can keep him a secret much longer."
"Have you seen her with him? Her eyes light up every time she sees him," Patsy admits.
"It is quite lovely to see her so bright."
Patsy nods. Trixie silently watches her body language. After a few moments she makes a determination.
"You are still in a lot of pain, aren't you?"
"I'm fine," she lies as her body finds that is unable to relax between her uneasiness of being a new mother, and uterine involution.
"You are not fine," Trixie vacates her seat on the bed. She walks over to the bassinet, and scoops Solomon up.
"Where are you going?"
"We are going to dinner. You don't have to join us, we will be content either way. You can come down and eat, or stay up here and rest. I think that both options are suitable. When was the last time that you ate?"
"Breakfast, I think."
"We will be downstairs, if you decide to join us. Is it okay that I take him with me?"
She exhales, "Yes."
Trixie has made it to the bottom of the stairs, before she realizes that Patsy is reasonably close behind her. They quietly make their way into the dining room. Trixie waits outside of the dining room, for Patsy to catch up. Once she does they enter the room full of chatting nurses, and midwives. The crowd falls silent. Trixie takes a seat, remaining unfazed.
Phyllis speaks up, "We were wondering if you were going to join us."
"You have missed a few meals," Barbara adds.
Patsy takes a seat near the middle of the table, as it is the only vacant chair left, "It seems as if I have been otherwise occupied."
"We should eat before our food grows cold," Sister Julienne suggests, trying to alleviate the pressure.
All eyes remain on Patsy. Of the group of women there is not a fool in the bunch. Everyone has deductive reasoning skills, and is able to add two and two together.
"Wait," Patsy begins, "I would like to confess that I have obviously been keeping a rather large secret from all of you. I am aware some of you already knew. I am certain that some of you knew, and didn't say anything. For your support I want to say that I am very thankful. I also want to apologize for any deceit on my part, as I know it has hurt some of the people that I care so much about. Lastly, I would simply like to introduce," she stretches her hand outward, and points to the baby in Trixie's arms, who is seated next to her, "my…" she pauses stumbling on the word, "son," she exhales.
Barbara chimes in, "What is his name?"
"Solomon," she announces.
After a few minutes dishes are passed around the table, and everyone digs into their food. They talk about their days, but no one prods. Everyone shows respect, and allows for Patsy to offer information as she feels comfortable. She finds that her appetite is still impaired by her pain level. She makes a concerted effort to eat as much as she can tolerate. The room slowly clears as everyone removes their dishes, and disperses for the evening. Trixie waits by her side, patiently.
"I can take him," she insists.
Trixie places the baby in her arms, and clears Patsy's place. The only people left in the room are Solomon, Patsy, and Sister Julienne. Sister Julienne rises from her chair, and makes her way to Patsy. She situates herself in the chair next to her. She grins.
"May I?"
Patsy nods, and carefully passes the newborn boy off to Sister Julienne.
"You have determined that he is a keeper?" She asks softly.
"Yes."
"You're certain?"
"Yes. If you are going to dismiss me I would prefer that you do it now, so that I can find other arrangements, and employment."
Sister Julienne furrows her brow, "Dismiss you? Why would I dismiss you?"
"I know the church's positions, and…"
Sister Julienne cuts her off, "That is not my position, Nurse Mount."
"It's not?"
"While I do have certain beliefs, I am perfectly aware that they can be somewhat idealistic, and not every situation is ideal. We are all human, and we do not always use our best judgement all of the time. As nurses, and midwives we would be remiss not to support you."
"I am sorry for the inconvenience that I have caused."
