"You planning on getting back in this bed any time soon?"
Her voice was teasing, playful, but edged with concern. He still didn't have it in him to face her. He didn't want to fight about it again. His eyes remained on the datapads sprawled before him – a desperate mess of old articles and historic notes on Prothean civilization, all provided by Liara. Despite the asari's insistence that they were all 'truly fascinating', none held any clues. He needed to get back to Ilos and talk to Vigil. He needed details, numbers – some hint at what they should be preparing for.
"Skipper, you know what I said about keeping your face like that too long. I can already see the frown lines forming."
She was trying to make light of it again, to pull him back to her. He risked a glance at her, half-naked and propped on an elbow, brandy eyes burning. It was tempting - so damn tempting - to just get up and join her. But he knew that if he did, she would hold him. Soothe him. Make love to him, long and slow until it was only her that mattered again. But then she would drift to sleep, and it would all come back. His hand came up to smooth back his hair and he couldn't help that his grimace deepened. His thoughts screamed with the echoes of Sovereign's voice. Even she couldn't lighten that.
You cannot resist.
"Owen…" Her smirk faded as she slid from the bed, bare legs stepping lightly towards him as he turned back to his work. Her arms snaked themselves around his neck. "You're not going to find anything now that you won't in the morning. Come to bed." The words were whispered next to his ear, her breath warm, tickling, calming. He lifted a hand to meet hers as it traced his collar bone, but he didn't turn to her.
"Ash, I'm not tired. I'll lay down in a bit." It was a lame excuse - he knew as much from the disgruntled sigh that tickled his neck. She slid around him, pushing him back from his desk far enough to allow her to straddle his lap.
"Bullshit." In a way that was entirely her, she lowered her lips to his, cutting off any further argument. She kissed him slowly, gentle and coaxing and wanting. For him, for a connection. He knew that she kissed him to bring him back to her – and as her fingers snaked their way into his hair, he couldn't help but surrender. His head was still pounding, he still had no idea of where to begin, but she was here.
Hope is irrelevant.
He held her closer.
"Commander Shepard."
A synthetic voice shattered the dream. His arms were empty. He was cold and alone, slumped over a different desk in the replica of his ship. He didn't want to open his eyes, didn't want to lose any trace of her. He didn't want to be back in the reality where he was just as lost but didn't have her. It was too much. But the lights in his cabin brightened around him and EDI's voice sounded again.
"Commander, you requested that you be alerted when we were approaching Purgatory." He groaned, eyes rising from the desk to send a glare towards the pawn that glowed in the corner. "We are approaching Purgatory."
"Yes, EDI. I get the fucking message." A hand ran over his face, rubbing over the growing beard. "I'll be down in a minute."
"Yes, Commander."
The hologram disappeared dutifully, and Shepard stood, the few steps to his armor locker taken with drowsy resentment. Sleep was precious. Haunted, painful, but precious. Because when he slept, he had her. Despite the taunting, looming threat of the Reapers and the ever-present reminders of past failures, in his dreams, he had her. But someone on this goddamn ship always seemed to ruin it. He threw on his armor without ceremony and boarded the elevator out of his too-spacious quarters, not bothering to clean himself or glance in a mirror. It would be the same.
Anderson had already confirmed that he looked like shit. Without Alliance regs to abide or the old captain to impress, there was no reason to change it. He answered to no one, and after two days of quarantining himself to his cabin with pages of unhelpful information and a few bottles of whiskey, he still wasn't sure how he felt about it. All but cutting ties with his old mentor was draining him. The man had been a constant source of stability, of reassurance. Without him he felt like he was drifting. He needed some kind of guidance, something to set him on the right path. And he really needed her. Not even Anderson seemed to understand that.
But at least he was still a goddamn Spectre. Whoop-de-fucking-do.
The elevator doors opened and a grinning Kelly greeted him. Her wide eyes were the only thing that gave away any surprise or concern at his reappearance among the living. "The team is assembled and waiting in the Armory, Commander." She informed him with a smile. He just gave her a nod and walked to the Armory, the door swinging open in welcome.
"About goddamn time." Zaeed grunted.
"Commander." Miranda stepped forward. He matched her look of distaste. "Nice of you to join us."
"Everyone's ready?" He holstered his weapons as Jacob handed them to him, ignoring the jabs at his tardiness. His absence after the Citadel had apparently been noted. Garrus caught him in one of his familiar, calculating looks and he quickly looked away. He wasn't in the mood to be studied. He briefly caught a curious look from a tiny, hooded woman in the corner. He saw her lips curl into a slow smirk before she disappeared.
Who the fuck?
Garrus followed his gaze and shrugged. "Kasumi."
Shepard frowned. The thief. He probably should have taken the time to meet her before this.
"Everyone is, but not everyone can go. Warden Kuril is requesting that only you and two guards board the ship for security purposes." Miranda spoke up again, bringing them back to task. Her voice was haughty enough to suggest that she thought he'd have known this already if he'd been around. Shepard's eyes narrowed.
"I take it we're now honoring requests from mercenaries?" He walked towards the door, and she followed. The others watched them, obviously unsure of whether or not they were to join.
Miranda sighed. "The funds have been sent and they're preparing Jack for our arrival. There is no reason to bring the full team to retrieve one prisoner."
He stopped, turning to challenge her, but instead settled for murmuring some of his favorite profanities. He was fucking exhausted. Her eyes were hard, a hand on her hip as the operative poised herself and waited for another debate from him. He couldn't bring himself to oblige her. "Fine. Garrus, you're with us." The turian nodded and stepped up to join them by the door. Miranda's ice mask shattered momentarily, surprised at his easy agreement, but was quickly replaced as his hand slammed the door control. "You three stay in your gear and be ready for the very likely possibility that this goes south and you need to protect the ship."
xxxxxxxxx
"That's Jack?" Garrus stuttered in disbelief.
Shepard's eyes narrowed on the woman, her eyes beginning to flutter open, shackles holding her down. She was small. Tattoos covered every inch of her very visible skin, overwhelming her thin frame. He frowned. He wasn't impressed.
"That's who we loosed a prison full of convicts for?" He growled, lifting his rifle again as gunshots sounded around them. The prisoners and guards would be at each other's throats by now. "She had better be fucking worth it. Come on, let's grab her." He started towards the door.
"Shepard, wait. Look." Garrus stopped him, pointing a talon back to the convict below them. She was awake, both arms somehow freed, and she pulled the clamp on her neck apart with a furious scream. She fell forward and three very large, very armed YMIR mechs greeted her.
"Fuck, we need to - " He was stopped short again as she began to glow a violent, threatening blue. She was a biotic, he knew that. It was why they were here. But something shifted as she primed herself, as she didn't back down. She looked dangerous. The convict threw herself forward, fist drawn back, and it exploded in a flash of blue and orange, one of the mechs igniting from the force of the blow. Then she was gone. He glanced at Miranda and Garrus, their expressions echoing his thoughts.
Well, shit.
"We have to get down there." Miranda spoke up finally, and Shepard nodded, leading the way to the control room's exit. He moved quickly, shaking himself back into focus. This mission, like all the rest he'd had with Cerberus thus far, had spun out of control. He knew that negotiating with mercenaries could only end badly. He should have brought the whole team, as he wanted to. He should have told Miranda to pull her head out of her ass and stop trusting solely in her beloved Illusive Man's influence.
He should have just shot the damn Warden when he was asked to relinquish his weapon.
Instead, he was chasing a biotic superwoman through a prison full of men whose guilt he couldn't be sure of. Who may have been simply captured for ransom, as the Warden had attempted with him. Men he'd have to plow through to get to his goal. It was a fucking fantastic start to a day.
"Nine o'clock. " Garrus alerted him as they entered a large hall, keen turian eyes catching the movement on their flank. The two snipers sank behind a ledge to simultaneously, Miranda remaining hidden in the alcove where they entered. The Blue Suns mercenaries the guarded the prison were scurrying below them, readying themselves for the prisoners that would undoubtedly come. Bodies were already beginning to decorate the floor. Shepard didn't waste time. His scope found the helmeted head of one of the mercs and the turian fell with a single shot. The others followed his lead and they took out the small band of mercs quickly, quietly. The precision of it gave him immense satisfaction.
He wasn't sure when he had begun to enjoy killing so much.
"Come on, she'll probably head towards the docking bay looking for a way out." He grunted, shaking the thought from his head. They followed him silently. He could feel Garrus' questioning gaze on his back. They hadn't worked together since he pulled his old teammate off of Omega, and he knew that his distance would be a cause for concern. But he couldn't bring himself to engage in the casual banter that colored their missions aboard the original Normandy. They still fought together seamlessly, the turian watching his back as they picked their way through the prison. But he felt heavier now, and after everything Garrus had been through, he had a feeling that the turian understood the sentiment.
Miranda's biotics lit up another of the security drones that stumbled towards them, and he resented the efficiency of her actions. He'd rather continue believing she had no redeeming qualities. She had followed his lead without question after the Warden turned on them – no doubt to make up for her grand fucking mistake. There was none of the usual double-guessing or snide remarks that had thus far defined their relationship. They simply went in determined silence, following Jack's fiery trail. Shepard allowed himself to fall into the catharsis of battle.
The mechs posed the most direct threat. The prisoners and their guards were too intent at fleeing or killing one another to pay the small team much mind. But the mechs recognized them as a threat, keeping them on their toes as they dodged stray bullets from the war being waged around them. The ship was going up in flames. They shot their way through a few more YMIRs and he quickened their pace.
A bullet welcomed him as they entered another large hall, ricocheting off the metal floor near his feet. He followed its path up to the familiar, barefaced turian. On top of his more serious downfalls, it seemed the Warden was a crap shot.
"You're valuable, Shepard. I could have sold you and lived like a king!"
He felt the old, familiar rage heat his blood. The anger that always came when faced with men like this – scum seeking to profit by selling off innocent lives. The Warden was just another slaver, and he would relish the opportunity to put a bullet through his skull.
"But you're too much trouble!" Kuril continued, taking another shot at Shepard and his team as they crouched behind some abandoned crates. "At least I can recapture Jack."
"Good luck with that, asshole." Shepard spat, taking a shot at the turian only to have the bullet deflect off a barrier. "Goddamn it." His eyes scanned the room. Mercs began to pour from the door at the opposite end of the room. A dozen, maybe. Annoying, but not impossible.
"Always with the mercenaries." Garrus drawled.
"Miranda, how do we disable that shield?" Shepard muttered, shooting back at a particularly ballsy merc that approached them. Kuril bellowed orders for them to take him down. "I don't suppose we can just shoot through it."
"There should be generators powering it. We need to disable them to get past it." The operative peeked around the edge of the crate. "There. There are three." She pointed to the first below them, the others on opposite ends of the hall.
"Will shooting them work?" Shepard asked simply. Miranda heaved a sigh in exasperation as Garrus snorted beside him, but neither gave him an answer. Deciding on finding out for himself, he stood and darted to a lower point of cover, putting himself out of view of Kuril but in the path of two eager looking batarians. His pistol came up quickly, a few bullets finding their target in the first merc's throat. He turned towards the second, but Garrus' rifle sounded and the other fell before he had even settled his sights. He glanced back at the turian, and Garrus gave him a lazy, arrogant salute. Apparently, some things didn't change.
Shepard rolled his eyes and rounded the wall shielding the barrier's generator. He took a few shots in quick succession and the pillar crackled and flashed, the stream of energy that fed the Warden's shield disrupted as it retreated underground.
"It worked." The commander grunted, permitting himself a smug look towards Miranda. A small, stupid sort of victory, and the woman met it as such - with her usual cold gaze, her face set in an unimpressed scowl. She looked away only to send a warp towards another approaching mercenary. He didn't know why he tried. "Garrus, get to a point you can target the west pillar. I'll head to the east. Miranda, lay down cover fire."
They set off towards their goals, the three separating, causing the handful of remaining mercenaries to scurry in confusion as they tried to pick who to go after first. It was easy enough to take them out - the few rounds that did find him only succeeded in taking out his barriers, and they were always rewarded by returned gunfire or the twisting touch of Miranda's biotics. He was grateful that at least this part of his day was going as planned. He may not be able to succeed in a simple package pickup, but he sure as hell knew how to shoot.
The Warden's shield fizzled and died as both generators waned. Kuril screamed his frustration and shot wildly out at them, but it wasn't enough. The turian was alone. Shepard seized the opportunity to put him down - just as he should have to begin with. The Warden fell unceremoniously and the Spectre spat at the ground, bile rising in his throat.
"Come on. We still need to find where the fuck Jack went."
They strode out of the room quickly, falling back into comfortable silence. There were a few stragglers – Blue Suns mercenaries scrambling to find a way out now that their leader had fallen – but they were dispatched easily. Bodies of prisoners and mercenaries alike littered the halls. That Jack wasn't among them was encouraging. He was going to be really fucking pissed if he had done all this and she had ran off and got herself killed.
"Cerberus?!"
A door swished open and there the convict stood, her fists balled in fury as she stared out at the Normandy. She didn't even notice their entrance as she screamed, her arms flailing out in frustration, pacing like a trapped animal. Shepard's jaw tightened. This is going to be a great fucking conversation.
The irony of it all wasn't lost on him.
An incredibly unlucky mercenary chose the room they were occupying as his escape route. Shepard brought up his gun and fired a single round, and as the man fell Jack whipped her head around to face him. The commander lowered his gun slowly.
"What the hell do you want?" The convict hissed, none of the rage leaving her stance. So much for gratitude.
"You were too busy throwing a fit to watch your back." Shepard growled, not feeling particularly friendly. "I saving your ass."
"He was already dead. He just didn't know it." She spat back, her eyes looking him up and down. "Now, what the hell do you want?"
"I told you, I'm saving your ass. My name is Commander Shepard, and I'd like for you to join us in getting the fuck off of this ship." He watched her as she continued to pace, a snarl pulling back her lips.
"You're fucking tanked if you think I'm going anywhere with you." Jack menaced, surprisingly feminine features further setting themselves into a grimace. "You're Cerberus."
"No. I'm not." His voice was low, stern. It was a reflex. The accusation still made him sick, and having to defend his association with the terrorists to this convict wasn't helping.
"We are." Miranda contradicted. Shepard's fists tightened. "But we're not here for your bounty, if that's what you're concerned about. Cerberus is willing to overlook the destruction of property as well as the deaths of our operatives if you give us your full cooperation."
Jack met Miranda's icy gaze with contrasting fire. "You die first."
The operative sighed in resignation at his side. Shepard's lips twitched. "Look, I don't give a fuck about what you have against Cerberus. This ship is going down, and I'm offering you the only ride out."
"We could just knock her out." Miranda muttered, her voice cold as she stared the convict down.
Blue energy sparked from Jack's skin. "I'd like to see you try."
"Real fucking helpful. Thanks." Shepard growled, shooting Miranda another deadly look. Garrus' mandibles fluttered in silent amusement beside her. His eyes found Jack's again, and her brow set as she readied herself for another fight. "We're not here to fight you, but I'm not going to waste any more time in this shithole. Come with or don't, but know that if you do, you're not going to have to worry about these assholes hunting you." He waved a hand towards Miranda. She scoffed behind him. "That's if you can even survive long enough to start running again. Join my team and I'll make sure they leave you alone."
Jack's eyes narrowed, but they didn't leave his. She was testing him, weighing the strength of his words and measuring his resolve. He didn't look away. "Don't make promises you can't keep." She took a few steps towards him, unbothered by the proximity. "I bet that pretty ship of yours has lots of Cerberus databases. I want to look at those files, see what Cerberus has got on me." She crossed her arms, setting her stance, not looking to bargain. "You want me on your team, get me access to those databases."
"Done." Shepard said simply. Miranda scoffed at his side.
"Shepard, you're not authorized to do that!"
He turned to look at her again, daring her to continue. "You wanna fucking bet?" The silent cooperation they had settled into earlier was lost. The operative's blue eyes were iced over with indignation, her usual poise shattered.
"Aww, it upsets the cheerleader." The convict simpered, not bothering to keep the venom out of her voice. "Even better." Her attention returned to Shepard, examining him once more out of the corner of her eye. She raised her hand to point a finger at his chest in challenge. "You better be straight up with me." She hissed, her voice low. He just nodded. "Then why the hell are we still standing here?"
"You're fucking joking, right?" He moved past her, walking towards the exit. He heard their footsteps following him.
"Fuck you, boy scout."
Garrus snorted. "This should be fun."
xxxxxxxxx
"The Terminus Systems? Are you sure about this, sis?"
She rolled her eyes at the obvious worry that was seeping into Sarah's voice. "I'll be fine. These people need us out here. And besides, it's my own command, remember? Solo mission." She couldn't help but gloat. She had waited a long time for this promotion – she was damn well going to enjoy it.
"Yeah, yeah. We're all proud."
Ashley crossed her arms, leaning back from the vidscreen with pursed lips. "I'm overwhelmed by the support."
"Could have been a little closer to home, you know? We haven't seen you in over a year!" Her sister sighed heartily.
Ashley's eyes rolled again. "I talk to you all the time, Sarah. Cool it with the dramatics."
"Vidcalls aren't the same as seeing you in person. Besides, I want you to meet Thomas!" Sarah's face instantly turned gleeful, a grin pulling her lips upward. "He's so great, Ash! You'd like him - he's a marine too." Ashley couldn't find it in herself to match her sister's enthusiasm. She fought the frown trying to form on her lips. Sarah's eyes flashed conspiratorially, oblivious to her sister's doubt. "I think he might even be the one."
Ashley sighed. She shook her head slowly. "Sarah, I think you need to slow your roll a little."
"What? You're not happy?" Her sister looked instantly hurt. She was still so young, so eager and willing and open to love. Ashley didn't know how to warn her. "Oh, Ash. This is about Shepard, isn't it?" Sarah threw up her hands in defeat, and the nonchalance of her words sliced at the old wound like a knife. The marine glared at her sister. "We all tried to help. You wouldn't let us. Mom's been in a fit for two years worrying about you – you didn't even come home for Dad's birthday." Sarah matched the fire in her eyes. Trust another Williams woman not to back down. "I'm sorry if you're still hurting, but just because you're not happy doesn't mean I can't be. Thomas isn't Shepard."
"Nice, Sarah. Really compassionate." Her voice was weaker than she was proud of, her throat constricting in reaction to her sister's words. She was sick of this, everyone telling her how she should feel. How she should be acting. She had moved on. Her work was all that mattered now.
Keep trying, Williams. You've almost convinced 'em.
"Someone has to say it." Sarah didn't relent, her voice unapologetic through the device's speakers. "You need to stop with this whole broken woman thing you've got going on. It's not you. Remember after Dad died? You pulled all of us up. You were strong for us. That's who you are. You've always looked after us, and I've always looked up to you because of it. Don't ruin that over some guy."
"It's not like he just left me, Sarah! He died." It hurt. Ashley had the strong urge to take a ship back home just to slap her, to hurt her for making her feel this pain again. "He wasn't just some guy." She spat the words and eyed the end call button.
"I'm not stupid, Ashley. I know that. I know it has to be hard. But I know you, and I know you're too strong to let it break you. He's gone, and you need to move on." The conviction in the younger woman's voice twisted the knife. She hadn't been on the receiving end of one of these no-bullshit talks since Dad died. It pissed her off, but she couldn't argue with her words. They were all things she'd been telling herself for the past two years. They were silent for a few moments.
Then some of the heat finally left the younger sister's eyes. "Besides, you're too hot to still be single."
It was so absurd that Ashley couldn't help the small, pained smile on her lips. "You're a bitch."
"You love me." Sarah grinned at her again, and forgiveness passed between the two that only sisters could manage so easily. It still hurt. But she was used to it.
Outside her pod voices were beginning to raise. No doubt the colonists had found something else to argue about. She still wasn't sure if it was her arrival that had them all at each other's throats or if they were normally this irritating. Despite the fact that the Alliance had sent her here to help, they fought her at every turn. Ashley let loose an exasperated sigh.
"I gotta go, sis. I'll talk to you soon." She stood, pushing back her chair. "Don't go falling in love and popping out babies until I get back there."
"Can't promise anything." Sarah winked. "Come home soon, sis!"
Ashley ended the call, the familiar yearning for home setting in her chest. Despite her sister's cutting words, she still missed them all desperately. But she had work to do. She left the small pod they'd graced her with and followed the voices still shouting near the newly installed turrets. She rolled her eyes.
Same shit, different day.
"Why does she need to be here? Everything was going just fine without the Alliance sticking their noses in it."
"I'm here to fix the turrets and get your defenses running so that if your colony is attacked - as the others have been - you'll be ready." Ashley took no small satisfaction in the way the mechanic jumped as she walked up behind him. The woman he was talking to – Lilith, maybe – smiled at the marine apologetically.
"We know, Operations Chief. Delan here is just bad at accepting help."
"Screw that. The Alliance being here just makes us a bigger target." He glared at Ashley. She just crossed her arms, settling back on one hip. "I was coming along just fine with these calibrations before you showed up."
"I'm sure. That's why the others sent for help, right?" Delan scoffed and turned his back on the marine with a dismissive wave, storming away while muttering something undoubtedly profane under his breath.
"I'm sorry about that." Lilith smiled again. She was a kind woman – one of the few not instantly hostile towards Ashley's arrival. "You have to understand. Horizon is our home, we built it from nothing. We've struggled alone, grown and prospered without anyone's help. To have the Alliance come here now… It is hard on some."
"I get it." Ashley sighed, following the mechanic as he retreated into a nearby pod. "Doesn't mean he has to be an asshole."
The woman laughed a little. "He's alright. Just a little prickly sometimes." She followed the marine's eyes, her gaze gentler. "Come, some of the others had questions about the emergency drill routes you put in place."
"Too stubborn to ask themselves?" She couldn't help the grumpiness in her voice. Sarah's phone call and Delan's confrontation had left her in a sour mood.
Lilith chuckled again. "It's like you're already one of us, Chief."