So, here it is, the final chapter! Please let me know what you think. I did not plan for this ending at all but it just worked. Well, I thought so. Please review!
Disclaimer: I don't like doing disclaimers. They remind me of all the things I don't own. Big Time Rush is not mine and neither is Taylor Swift's song Last Kiss. I do claim ownership of the character Star Diamond.
4 Months
Star's POV
4 months. That's how long it took for me to screw things up. 4 months. My new personal best.
4 months since I'd been in love with Logan Mitchell.
3 months and three week since my last Stella incident.
3 months and two weeks since I got my record deal.
3 months since Logan and Camille broke up.
3 months since James and Camille got together.
2 months and two weeks since Logan and I started dating.
3 days since Logan died.
Or, I should say, three days since I killed him.
I'd been having a stressful day. Gustavo hated the last four songs I had written. James and Camille were fighting and 'taking a break', which basically meant both of them were miserable but too stubborn to admit they were wrong, and I had to choose between my brother and one of my best friends. That freak Jett Stetson had been flirting with me all day and then had forcibly kissed me. Logan walked in at exactly the wrong moment and so we were fighting. I was walking to the elevator in the lobby. When I got in there was only one other person. Logan. We started fighting. When we got to my floor, I stepped out him right behind. We were still arguing and he followed me into my apartment. And I snapped. The last thing I remember is seeing Camille and James standing by my coffee table, in my apartment, looking like they'd just stopped talking.
Next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital with shattered glass in my arm and a sprained ankle. Everyone was crying, and I learned that Stella had- that I had gotten a carving knife and stabbed my boyfriend in the heart. He'd been dead before he hit the ground.
And all this led up to now with me standing on this ledge. I wonder if it will hurt. There are people down below, cop cars and fire brigades. I can make out two vaguely familiar faces. Looks like Jo, and Carlos.
"Star!" I hear from behind me. It's James. I turn around, to face him and see that he has a police man with him and Kendall. James looks scared. "Star, come inside. We can fix this, but you need to come inside." I smile sadly at him.
"There are some things that can't be fixed once broken, Jamie." I turn slightly to look back at the street. "Logan's dead, James. I killed your best friend. Why do you not hate me?"
"I could never hate you." He insisted.
"I don't believe you." I look back at him. "I wrote a song yesterday. It's in my top desk drawer. I think it's pretty good."
"Well, why don't you come down from there so you can sing it for me?" he's pleading now, begging, and it takes everything I have not to go to him. But I know I have to do this. How many other innocent people, my friends, could I hurt if I don't?
"It's been recorded. You don't need me to sing it for you." I look at him for a long moment. "Tell mom I love her. And I love you too, Jamie. I really do." I take a step backwards into nothingness. For a second I'm flying. The last verse of my newest song runs through my head, and I sing along.
And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in weather and town
But I never planned on you changing your mind
So I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know,
How to be something you'd miss
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
Just like our last kiss
Forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips
Just like our last
"I love you Logan."
And then, I'm free.
AN: Well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for all the reviews, favourites and alerts, they really help to keep me motivated.
You guys rock!
Ellen
xoxo