CHAPTER 10

REVELATIONS

Sundays have never been a rest day at home. For people in the Seam, this day is a break from the mines, but for me, Sunday is just like any other day at home which I spend in baking.

As I opened my eyes, I felt myself missing my old routine. The texture of the soft dough on my hands as I prepare to knead it; baking it in the oven; but most of all, decorating the cakes. My hands are itching to do those things again, and sadness start to envelope me as I thought how I will never be able to do that again.

The day of my death is coming.

I sigh and got out of bed, preparing myself for what I think will be a busy day. I know that Effie and Haymitch will be coaching us today for our interviews. I hurried to wash myself, wanting to speak to Haymitch before Katniss is up. It's still early though, and I'm sure I have a head start.

When I enter the dining room, I'm surprised to see that Haymitch is already up, looking more sober than ever. He greets me and beckons for me to sit beside him.

"Haymitch." I tell him. "I have something to tell you."

"I bet from your tone that's a serious one." he replies.

I smile at him, thinking if I'm that obvious. "Yes. Well..." I begin, picking a roll as I struggle to find my words. "I just need your help with something."

This sparks his curiosity. "What is it?"

Effie comes in before I could speak, and she commented on how I'm up so early. "I always am, Effie." I tell her, smiling.

"True!" she says before laughing. "A glass of wine please." she tells one of the Avox servers. "So what are you two talking about? Are you already starting on your training for the interview? Maybe I should wake up Katniss."

"Dont!" I exclaim. They look at me with questioning eyes. "You were about to tell me something earlier, right?" Haymitch asks. I wanted to talk to him alone, but it's probably best if Effie's also there just so she's informed. I owe her that much for being good to us.

"I want to be trained separately." I tell them.

There was a brief pause before Haymitch answers. "I thought you agreed to train together?"

"Did you get in a fight?" Effie asks.

"No, no. We didn't fight. It's just that..." I wanted to tell them how difficult it is for me. To want to be friends with her, getting that opportunity, and being treated with such hatred that I know I don't stand a chance. I want them to know how every fake conversation we have strikes deep inside me, and that it's even worse than not talking to her at all. But I can't, because somehow I think that they will just laugh at me if they knew how much I care for her.

I've thought my decision through and I knew that this is best for both of us. It would be better to let go of my illusion now that to suffer permanent damage from it later. "But I want to know what I can do in the arena to help Katniss."

The two of them look at me briefly, assessing if I'm serious or not. Haymitch guffaws. "Why will you want to do that?"

"Because we're from the same district?" I say lamely.

"No one ever saw that as a reason to help another tribute." Haymitch counters.

"Her family needs her."

"All tributes have their own families who would grieve if they die."

"I know..." I reply, letting my words trail off.

Haymitch studies my face closely. "Are you telling me that you're in love?" he says a bit too loudly, and I feel myself blushing in return. He laughs even louder. "Look at that blush!"

"What a revelation!" Effie exclaims. "Are you?"

They both look at me expectantly. When I didn't respond, Haymitch laughs again. "You really can't deny it, no one is that noble to offer up their own life for someone." he says.

It's true, and I know I can't argue on that one. "Please don't tell her." I beg them. "I don't want to complicate things. Just... let's drop the pretense of friendship already. It's clear that she doesn't want that, and it will be easier for both of us if we don't have to try so hard. Give me an idea of how I should play it in the arena. I'm not good in fighting, but I want to be able to protect her if necessary. Please, Haymitch."

He looks at me and nods, starting to take me seriously. "In that case, we'll have to work on a new plan."

I nod, grateful that they're willing to help. He's talking quietly now. "Just how did you fall in love with her in such a short time? And she hasn't been charming, at the very least! She's hostile to everyone."

Of course I know that. "I care for her even before the reaping." I say.

"Oh my!" Effie says, surprised.

"Okay, okay, we'll work something out. But I can't promise you that everything will work as planned. As you know, the arena is always unpredictable." Haymitch says.

"I know that. I just need some general clues on what I should and shouldn't do."

Effie checks the watch and gets up the table. "I have to wake her up now, we have a long day ahead!"

I watch as she leaves the room and turn my attention to my food. Haymitch and I eat in silence for a while.

"The angle I have been working on is right all along." he tells me.

"What angle? The pretend-to-be-friends-in-front-of-other-tributes thing?"

"Yes. When you two challenged me back at the tribute train, I knew you had some fight going in you. I thought it would be stronger to present you as a team, and it was. But this is even deeper than I expected."

I continue eating, trying to grasp his words. It still doesn't explain anything. Effie comes back to the table, and I know Katniss will be coming in at any minute. "I still don't understand. Why did you present us as friends?"

"Strategy," Haymitch replies. "It's a new angle, a fresh start. I'm not sure how much of it the Capitol will believe, but now that I know about your feelings, it seems to be one of my best idea yet."

"People may just see it as an alliance." Effie offers.

"Except that this alliance is more tight." Haymitch says. "Think you can work on that?"

I thought about this for a moment. "I'm not sure Katniss will want that. To be in an alliance with me. She barely even wants to be friends with me, that's why I requested to be trained separately. To make things easier for her." I say bitterly.

"Find a way to do it." Haymitch orders.

I sigh. This is harder than I thought.

I didn't hear her footsteps as she walked to the room. I didn't look up to her, but since she didn't come to the table immediately, I guessed that she headed straight at the food table.

"Okay, so we'll train them separately, right?" Effie says in a hushed voice. Haymitch nods. "He can start with you so you can lay down everything on the pipeline."

I nodded, thinking how Katniss will react to the news. I concluded that she will be relieved, maybe even happy. I heard her approaching the table, and she starts eating as soon as she sat down.

After a moment of silence, she looked up at us. "So, what's going on? You're coaching us on interviews today, right?"

"That's right," Haymitch answers.

"You don't have to wait until I'm done. I can listen and cat at the same time."

"Well, there's been a change of plans. About our current approach,"

"What's that?" Katniss asks.

I brace myself for the announcement, carefully watching her face. "Peeta has asked to be coached separately."

Katniss didn't speak immediately, and for a while I thought that she's going to reject the idea. But she instantly recovered. "Good. So what's the schedule?"

I was right about her reaction, that she will be relieved. "You'll each have four hours with Effie for presentation and four hours with me for content. You start with Effie, Katniss."

When Katniss left the room with Effie, Haymitch turned to me eagerly, wasting no time. "I don't really have to coach you that much. You can handle yourself well. You have good communication skills."

I wasn't sure about that, but I accepted it anyway. "Just act naturally," he continues. Then he stopped, weighing his next words carefully. "I think you should tell your feelings for Katniss during the interview."

This came unexpectedly. "Why will I do that? I told you, I don't want her to know. And I don't see how that can help in the arena."

"You agreed to do what I say. Trust me on this one, you'll earn sponsors. I can work on that story: the star-crossed lovers from District 12, one where there is no happy ending because of the games."

"But we're not lovers." I say. And there will never be a happy ending for us even without the games. She'll be in her own world, while I watch her from mine. Always separated.

"You are not, but people in the Capitol will be intrigued. And if you want to help Katniss, that is the perfect way to do it. Quite frankly, I don't know what to coach her for the interview. If you do that, you'll bring yourself and her to the spotlight. Everyone will be talking about the two of you."

Everything about the plan sounds wrong. I don't want to use my feelings for her just to get sponsors, and I'm sure that she will never entertain the idea of the star-crossed lovers. However, I can see Haymitch's point. Katniss is not a people person. She's too direct with her thoughts, too filled with hatred for the Capitol, and too hostile with everyone.

"I don't see how that will work out. Katniss will never buy that idea." I argue.

"Just do what I say, okay? Katniss can't do anything about it once you've said it out there. Don't worry, I'll take care of her afterwards. I'll make her see reason in that."

I'm still reluctant about his plan, but I go along with it anyway.

"There's really nothing else for me to tell you about the interview. You're a natural charmer. I know the people will love you."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"Oh, you'll see." Haymitch says, laughing. "Now, in the arena, your plan to protect her will largely depend on her willingness to oblige to the act. I don't have to tell you how to play it; I know you know how to protect her. Always remember that everything in the arena is dangerous, so I hope you spent time on the edible plants section during training. That will really help a lot."

"Katniss and I went there." I tell him.

"Good. Just pay close attention to everything. Never let your guard down." Haymitch continues. "And trust no one, if you don't want to get stabbed in the back."

We spent the next few hours chatting and working on strategies. When it's Effie's turn to coach me, she merely shows me how to sit, walk, and stand properly. It doesn't really take a lot of work since I don't have to face the ordeal of walking in heels or acting prim and proper.

Effie sighs. "Boys are so much easier to teach! Katniss struggled for hours on her heels, she can barely walk in them!"

I laugh. "She'll do fine, Effie. You've done a good job teaching us, thank you."

The training sessions with Effie and Haymitch exhausted me more than I thought. We ate dinner without Katniss as she requested to stay in her room. So we eat in silence, chatting about inconsequential things. Trying to give me a break from the Games, I think, until they finally tell me to rest for tomorrow's big event.

As I was walking back to my room, I hear the sound of something breaking inside Katniss's room. I hesitated outside when the redheaded Avox girl went inside and I had a peek at the mess of dishes inside. I inhaled deeply. The Games is already taking its toll on her, I thought sadly.

I lay in bed for a few hours before giving up trying to rest and heading to the rooftop. My thoughts are running wild that night, and I can't seem to stop thinking how Katniss will react tomorrow.

I have been trying to work up the nerve to talk to her back in our district, and for 11 years, I failed. It's pathetic, really, to fail at a simple task for so long. Admitting my feelings for her in front of the whole country makes it more scary.

There are several downsides to the plan. For one, I know she won't react well. Katniss will probably get mad at me, but what choice do I have now? Haymitch said that the plan will help her for her own interview. Also, I'm certain that Katniss will doubt the truth of my statement. She will think twice if I really mean it or if I'm just saying it for the sake of the Games. I'm guessing it's more of the latter, and that doesn't really make the interview a fulfillment of my lifelong plan.

I sat at the rooftop for a long time before making my way back to my room. Tomorrow, Katniss will know of my adoration for her, whichever way she believes it to be.