I Don't Care As Much

"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on" ~Henry Ellis

Brittany Miller

For a second, I think that May is actually just going to let me go, let me walk away from all of this. May sneers though, her face twisting into one of anger, disgust, and amusement. May reaches under the bed and before I can scoot away from her grasp, she grabs hold on my shirt and pulls me forward. I watch Alvin's face once I'm out in the light. I can't read his expression… he only stares back at me, his eyebrows pulling together. I think he's worried.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" May asks me, the anger in her voice catching me off guard. I stare at her wide eyed, and before my mouth can even form words, a big glob of spit hits me in the eye. "Answer me!"

I sit up quickly and rub my eye. "What was that for?" I ask her right back. "I wasn't doing anything to Alvin. He's my best friend and you can't just push me away like I'm trash!" I look to Alvin for support, but he seems to be on another planet.

"You look a lot like trash to me," she pushes me back down to the floor.

"Says the one prancing around in lacy underwear and her mom's heels," I smirk back. May's face starts turning red as she looks like she's going to pounce. I get up quickly and make a run for the door, but something sharp hits me in the back of the head, making my whole world spin out of sorts. I fall back to the ground, feeling the back of my head, only to my horrified by the thick liquid left on my hands. Blood.

"May!" Alvin snaps to attention. "What the hell?"

"What?" she shouts back. "Now you're defending her?" I look around the room, more interested in finding her weapon than their argument. I quickly pick up her stiletto, noticing the specks of blood on her pointed heel.

"Yes!" Alvin runs over to me. "She's right," Alvin watches May closely, hesitantly crouching down beside me. "She's my best friend and all you're doing is hurting everyone."

"I cannot believe you!" May shouts. "I gave you everything."

I choke on my own spit thinking about everything. "You didn't give me anything!" Alvin argues. "I'm done being pushed around like some sort of punching bag. I'm not someone who just gives in to people like you May, so just get lost."

"You can't make me leave!" May growls. After a long pause, the room becomes completely silent and full of tension. May's features soften dramatically as she falls to her knees. "I'm so sorry," she whispers into her hands, her shoulders shaking.

I can see that Alvin doesn't quite believe the dramatics, but I think about all the times that I've cried over a boy. How I've had to drop to my own knees in begging for forgiveness. How my heart ached so severely that I didn't know what to do with myself.

I get to my knees, crawling towards May little by little. I hand her the trench coat she was wearing before. She looks up at me, a sad smile on her face. "I'm not a bad person," she whispers to me. I nod, helping her into the coat and handing her the shoe that she had thrown. "You believe me, right?"

"Yes," I tell her. May looks at me gratefully, and without another word, she gets up and leaves. Alvin, dumbfounded, watches me. "May is a good person," I tell him. He comes over to me, sitting down.

"How do you figure?"

"She left," I sigh, lean into him. "I think you and me know just as well how hard it is to give up and stop fighting. She didn't hate any of us, she just loved with such intensity and feeling that people ended up getting hurt. She was afraid of losing."

"But she lost anyways," he whispers.

"No," I shake my head. "She's not done looking for the love she needs," I look up at him. "But I am."

"Is that so?" he smirks. I can still see the pain and confusion that May has left behind in the boy I knew, but I could still see that old spark lighting up his blue eyes. I touch the back of his neck slightly, pulling him in.

This was far from the end. No, it was a new beginning.

~Sorry if this seemed really rushed. But I just wanted to get to the end of this story in all honesty… I'm ready for bigger and better things! I'm excited to start a new story and if you guys don't mind, I have a poll up on my profile for couple's ideas in case you want to see more AlvinxBrittany or something diffrent. Please vote!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You mean the world!