Title: This is How We Fall Apart

Author: PandaPjays

Beta-Reader: Just An Inkling

Warnings: See Chapter 1

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Author's Note: Big thanks to phoenixandtiger for being awesome and reviewing and being awesome :)

When I returned to work after I'd dropped Brooklyn off I did so with a lighter heart. Though whether that was because of Brooklyn's assurances or my lips still tingling from our last kiss outside the hotel was debatable.

I pushed open the door to be greeted by silence. I paused and looked around me, unease in my stomach. Even this late Jelena was normally there, lounging around and doing... actually, I have no idea what she normally spent her time doing. Mostly whenever I walked in she was busy playing with her hair or expertly twiddling her thumbs. There was a computer on the desk but, unless she was using it to provide backup for Sven and me, she never even turned it on. Not even to play the odd game of Solitaire.

I don't think her home was a very pleasant place to be—every now and again she'd come to work complaining about the newest insane thing her roommate had tried. Sometimes I think she even slept at the office in order to avoid going home.

But now she wasn't there and I couldn't hear her talking to Sven in the back room.

On her desk was a hastily scribbled note in Jelena's own version of chicken scrawl. I walked over to her desk to get a better look and so I could attempt to decipher it.

We're at the hospital. I tried to call

-Jelena

I stared at the note for a few seconds, going through all the reasons they could be at the hospital. I reached into my pocket to take out my phone. Dead. I swore colourfully—I'd meant to charge it but the whole ordeal with Iosif and the shopping centre had made me clean forget.

I reached for the phone on the desk and dialled Jelena's number from memory.

"Bryan?" She answered, stress and fatigue colouring her voice.

"Yeah. What's happening? Why are you at the hospital?"

"Sven. He's not badly hurt but it looks like a broken arm—maybe a few ribs," she reported. It wasn't uncommon for one of us to be hurt in the line of duty. It was an occupational hazard; we knew the hospital staff by name.

But Brooklyn had been with me.

"What happened?" I asked, my grip on the phone tightening.

"We knew Brooklyn's psycho would try contact next—we were just wrong about who he'd want to make contact with. He attacked Sven from behind..." She paused, the sounds of the hospital in the background. "Look, Bryan, can you come? He's asking for you."

"I'll be there soon."

-o-

Sven greeted me with a cheerful grin and a waving cast, "Check it out! Its been a whole year since I got one of these! I'm expecting much wittier comments on this one. You've had a whole year to mature from the whole 'I'm with stupid' thing"

I smirked, at least he seemed to be in good spirits. "What happened?" I asked, folding my arms. Jelena had come to stand next to me.

"Bastard snuck up on me from behind." Sven shrugged, wincing as he moved his bruised-not broken-ribs. "It happened too fast for me to really register. One moment I was making my way back to the office and the next I was on the ground in a small universe of pain with the bastard's knee in my back and I couldn't move my arm anymore."

"You didn't even have time to defend yourself?" I whistled. "That's... incredible."

"I'm sure he appreciates your admiration." Sven deadpanned.

I smirked, "I'm not the one who got themselves into hospital because of some nobody who has nothing better to do than harass models."

He inclined his head, "Touché. It was weird though. It didn't feel like he wanted to hurt me. I was... collateral I think. Hurting me wasn't personal. It was just... what had to be done," He smiled and closed his eyes, "He told me something before he left—"

"—Wait, he just left you in the street?" I asked, surprised. "Did you see him at all?"

"Yeah—that's part of what gives me the idea that hurting me wasn't the goal in all of this. And no, by the time I could get up he was long gone. He smelled of cigarette smoke."

"Helpful."

"I don't see you in the hospital bed after our first and only encounter with him, Smartass," He snapped, a little of the pain and stress finally peeking through the easygoing mask he had in place.

"Sorry," I said sincerely. "What did he tell you?"

"That Brooklyn was dangerous—that he was doing this to help me in the long run. Also that you knew what this was about."

"He mentioned me by name?" I asked, a small bolt of fear running down my spine. "How does he know my name?"

"Probably the same way he knew your address. Probably the same way he knew Brooklyn's hotel. Probably the same way he knew what street I'd take to get back to the office. Research, planning, an unbalanced mind." Jelena chimed in.

"The usual suspects then," I said with a smile.

"Yeah, nothing drastic." Sven grinned. "Run of the mill, even"

"A walk in the park." I countered

"A piece of cake," he replied with a challenging grin.

"Easy as pie"

"Walking along Easy Street"

"..." I inclined my head in defeat. "I'm going to go to my apartment and pick up enough for the next few days. I'm going to stay in the office." If he was willing to go to these lengths to prevent Sven from guarding Brooklyn—especially considering how quickly and efficiently he'd taken out my partner—I didn't like my chances staying in my apartment.

"I've got a mattress set up in one of the back rooms. I'll show you." Jelena offered. "What about Brooklyn? Are we still doing this?"

I bit my lip to stop my immediate reaction of jumping down her throat for even suggesting that we abandon Brooklyn. We'd been worried when his psycho had shown that he knew how to break into the place Brooklyn was staying. Now he'd been proven to be able to take out a trained professional. Even if we decided to drop Brooklyn's case I couldn't walk away. And not just for personal reasons- now there was pride involved.

"We can't leave him now—what would that say about our service? We'll keep you safe until we don't feel like it anymore? Until it gets a little tough?"

Thankfully, Sven has got a few pride issues as well.

"No—but now you're out of commission we've only got Bryan and me." Jelena reasoned.

"Hey! I'm not out of commission! I could—"

"—club the guy over the head with your new accessory?" I asked, indicating his shiny new cast. "You couldn't do anything while you were able-bodied, what would you do now? You're out, Sven."

"Like you would have done any better."

I shrugged. "We won't ever know, will we? As it stands, we still have a job to do."

"But can you do it?" Sven asked. "We only just worked out how we could do this around yours and Brooklyn's... whatever it is... can you maintain your professionalism? If you can't he may as well go without us—it'd probably be safer for him."

"I'll just have to stay professional, won't I?" I shrugged. "It's not like I have much choice. No offense to Jelena," I looked over at her before continuing, "but she's not a fighter. So the only one who's physically capable of being on point is me. I'll just have to get over it."

"Over him?" Sven asked curiously.

"Over the fact I can't molest him while I'm protecting him." I said with a smirk.

Jelena made a face, "Nice."

"It is."

I ignored the joint sounds of Sven and Jelena protesting that they didn't need to hear that. "I'm going to go back to my apartment. I'll meet you at the office in a few hours?" I looked at Jelena who nodded her acquiescence.

I walked to the door of the room, nodding to a nurse who was coming into the room to check on Sven. She rolled her eyes at Sven, a small smile on her face, "What have you done now?"

I left my partner to explain as I walked into the hallway.

I've always hated hospitals. Something about the smell of antiseptic and the too-bright, easily cleanable surfaces put me on edge. Hospitals remind me of my childhood while I was under the watchful eye of That Man. Thankfully I didn't actually spend that much time in the hospital wings at the Abbey. Whenever they hurt me they didn't do so in order to damage—only to inflict pain. They had reasoned that in order to maximise my savagery they couldn't leave me unable to defend myself.

They may have regretted that the first few times I sent them to the hospital wing. But they achieved their goals.

-o-

I opened the door to my apartment and froze. Something wasn't right. I did a quick check of my surroundings. Nothing had changed since I'd left it that morning on my way to the shopping centre of doom. Nothing had been moved or taken. The walls were still an interesting brown colour and that smell still permeated the place.

But... There was still something that wasn't right.

I closed the door quietly behind me, flicking my wrist so my knife fell into my hand. I'd learned to trust my instincts—even if they weren't correct it was better to be safe than sorry. I took a few cautious steps into the room, my ears alert for any noise, any movement of air, anything.

"Why are you protecting him?"

I felt the sharp prick of a knife against the base of my spine, ready to plunge in and sever my spinal cord. The voice came from behind my left ear. I recognised that voice. It was the voice that had preceded some of the worst times in my life. It had also been around in some of the best. The owner of the voice had never been a constant fixture in my life but had always been there as a kind of background noise, only overtly stepping into my life when it suited him.

"Kai?" I asked, turning my head slowly to look at the man standing behind me. "What are you doing?"

"Drop your knife and then we'll talk." Kai said reasonably, his knife firm against my skin. His deep red eyes left no room for argument.

"Dropping," I said, crouching slowly to place my knife on the ground. "Now do you want to tell me what you're doing here?" I asked. I knew Kai wouldn't hurt me. We didn't exactly have the most... amenable relationship but it wasn't dislike between us. Kai and I simply approached our problems differently. I tended to attack and think on the fly while Kai planned and strategized before making his first move. We thought differently and achieved our goals separately. It worked for us.

I felt the pressure of the knife disappear as Kai sheathed it, stepping back and allowing me to turn to face him.

It had been a few years since I'd last seen him. After we'd lost for the second time and proven that we no longer deserved to beyblade professionally, Kai had left us to rejoin his old team. There had been no apologies or regret, he had simply cut his losses and moved on. It was best not to become attached when Kai was involved. I think he had continued beyblading for a while after I'd quit but I'd lost track of him over the years.

The years since I'd seen him last had changed him. Even when Kai was at his most serious he always knew how to smile. He didn't do it often, mind you, but you knew that he knew how to. This older Kai looked like he had forgotten any emotion that wasn't related to determination. He still had those blue markings on his face that he was so fond of and his scarf still hung proudly from his neck, giving him an untouchable aura. But the Kai I had known was gone, replaced by this new one who seemed more unknowable than ever.

"Kai?" I asked, moving slowly to sit down at the small table I'd set up as a temporary measure when I had first moved into this apartment. I'd never gotten around to replacing it with something more substantial. "It's not that I don't appreciate someone breaking into my house and threatening me, because I do enjoy that, but what are you doing here?"

Kai folded his arms and leant against the door, accomplishing two things: blocking my exit and telling me that he wasn't there for a pleasant catch-up. "Why are you protecting him?"

"Who?"

His face changed from a mask of determination to something else. Something almost animal as he snarled, "Brooklyn."

I blinked. "Why am I protecting Brooklyn?" I asked, my mind working furiously as I began to put together the pieces. The fixation on Brooklyn, the messages, the bird, the way he had taken Sven so easily and, most damning, the heavy smell of fresh cigarette smoke that now assaulted my nose. "Why did you hurt Sven?" I asked carefully.

"The one with green hair who's been following him around for the past few days? He's too observant for his own good, that one."

"One of his charms," I said with a nod. "Why did you hurt him?"

"I didn't hurt him seriously."

"You broke his arm, Kai." I said reproachfully. "You left him there in the cold still hurting too much to move. You may not have intended to hurt him badly but you did."

"He'll recover. And now he's away from...him. He's safe. You should be thanking me." Kai said levelly, looking around my apartment. "You really need to clean this place. It's disgusting."

"Was that an offer?" I challenged. "Sorry I don't meet your high expectations in the cleanliness stakes. I've been busy protecting my client from some stalker whose modus operandi is to leave vaguely unsettling letters and, oddly enough, a bird. Recently he stepped up his game to attack and disable a trained bodyguard with little to no effort. I don't suppose you know anything about it?" I asked sarcastically. "What are you doing, Kai?"

"Protecting you. Protecting anyone involved in his stupid game." Kai said. I caught his crimson gaze as he said that. He was serious. More serious than I think I've ever seen him.

"What game?"

"The game he plays with the world." Kai pulled a magazine from where it had obviously been rolled and shoved into his pocket. "He's dangerous, Bry. He pretends that he's human but he's not. Under that mask he shows to the world there's something dark and twisted. We got a taste of it during the world championships and every now and again he loses control of it and it comes out." He threw the magazine, nodding toward it when I deftly caught it in one hand. "That article proves what I'm saying."

"You know that the article is a bunch of quotes taken so far out of context they might as well have shot them out to the moon, right? I was at that interview."

"And you didn't see anything odd?" Kai asked, a knowing tone in his voice.

I paused as I remembered. That calm as Brooklyn lead the hapless reporter through his trap. That knowledge he kept hidden behind his eyes as he helped steer the conversation to where she thought she wanted it to go. That cruelty as he ensnared her and cut her deeply with his words and his knowledge of her most private thoughts

That violence that had sung to me. That violence that had reared its head and unleashed its terrible beauty. That violence which I had recognised instantly as living within me as well.

"You're just like me"

Those words, whispered so passionately, chilled me.

Kai nodded at my silence. "Brooklyn is dangerous, Bry. He's living in such a spiral of hatred that all he can do is lash out and hurt those around him because hurting himself isn't enough."

"And the messages?"

"It's always best to keep your opponent off guard. I left some hints—"

"—The bird?" I asked, remembering how earlier that day I had compared Konnie's flashing orange wings to flames. The wings of a phoenix.

"—But mostly a scared opponent is a beaten opponent. How do you think I beat him before? He far excels my skills but the mask slipped last time and gave me my chance. And the more I push him this time, the more likely it is for his mask to slip and the world to see him for what he is."

"And that is?"

"Something we don't have a name for, Bry. Something so terrifying we didn't want to bring it into reality with our words."

Something that drew me to him. Something that made my soul sing with recognition and understanding.

"You're just like me"

Those words rang through my ears with as much power as they had had that night Brooklyn had whispered them to me, his voice husky with need and longing. I had fought them, I had run away from them.

I had accepted them.

"What do you hope to get out of exposing him?" I asked, keeping my thoughts carefully away from my face. "There's nothing to gain from making the world fear him."

"There's everything to gain from it." Kai patted his pockets, producing a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. He offered the pack to me, shrugging and lighting up when I refused. He tucked the packet back into his pocket before taking a deep drag. He closed his eyes for a second before exhaling with a calm expression. "You forget, Bry, Brooklyn's not only hiding himself from the world."

"Who else is there to hide from?" I asked as the acrid scent of the smoke reached my nose. It was familiar—almost comforting. Tala had taken up the habit when we were young; That Man had hated the smell, he said that nicotine interfered with our training. The smell of cigarettes always reminded me of Tala's small rebellion. The only one we could hope to mount in those walls.

"Brooklyn hides from himself as much as he hides from the rest of the world. That's why he becomes so unstable whenever he's forced to reveal his true nature. He can't handle it." Kai took another drag, the ember at the tip glowing brightly and highlighting his all-too-focussed crimson eyes. "He'll be so desperate to escape, he'll destroy himself." Kai's lips formed into a bitter smile with no joy in it. "Then it'll be over."

"Then what will be over, Kai?" I demanded. "Why are you doing this? Why do you want to destroy Brooklyn?"

Kai sighed, putting his cigarette to his lips one last time and inhaling deeply before stubbing it out on the wooden floor. I would have protested but the floor was already so covered with similar marks there really was no point. "Because it's the only way I can exist."

"What does that even mean Kai?" I asked, standing. He said it like there was no choice. Like destroying Brooklyn was something that simply had to be done. Like he wasn't contemplating murdering the only person who would ever understand me. Like murdering Brooklyn was the right and correct course of action.

More worrying than all of that, as he said this there was no gleam of madness nor look of obsession in his eyes. This was still the calm, strategically-minded Kai I'd always known. The only difference was that he looked like he had learned that any happiness in this world was only a façade and the only true emotion was pain.

"You can't do this, Kai. I can't let you. You know that, right? Whatever your reasons you can't do this." I heard myself say as I took a few steps toward him, still trying to figure out what had changed, why Kai was like this.

"Is that because of your professional responsibilities or because you don't want me to take away your new fuck-buddy?" The profanity dripped from his lips like a special kind of poison, sounding so out of place coming from someone who placed so much stock in calm and control. Kai's eyes met mine in challenge. "I know, Bry. I see the way you look at him and the way he looks at you. You follow him because you think you've found something special. He lets you trail behind him so he can feel like his mask is still intact."

My eyes narrowed, a slow heat of anger building inside me. "You know nothing about us. You don't know anything."

Kai laughed, a bitter bark, as he lit up another cigarette. "I know more than you want to believe. That's why I know that Brooklyn needs to disappear."

"Why not kill him yourself, then?" I asked sarcastically. "Why bother with this whole charade of destroying him mentally?"

Kai's eyebrows snapped together in an annoyed frown. "Haven't you been paying attention? He's stronger and smarter and more skilful than I could ever fathom let alone hope to be. He's more powerful than even he knows." Kai's voice held a hint of fanaticism, of obsession. He nodded as he inhaled deeply, the cigarette between his lips turning to ash faster than I'd ever thought possible. "The only one who can destroy Brooklyn is himself."

"I won't let you do this. Regardless of my relationship with Brooklyn you can't do this. You can't murder Brooklyn for some ridiculous reason like that. You can't hurt people because you think you're doing what's best for them. You have no right!"

Kai's eyes hardened. That was the only warning I got before he flicked his spent cigarette at me and moved, hooking his leg around mine and jerking it forward, bringing me to my knees. He dealt me two swift blows to my stomach before hitting me across my shoulders and stepping away when I hit the ground, gasping for air.

"I have no right?" He all but hissed at me. "I have no right? You know nothing. You know nothing about my right to do this. If anything I'm the only person who has right." He took off his jacket and flung it on the ground, revealing arms which, when I had known them, had been pure, untouched white. Now ugly scars covered them, new ones layered upon old in a patchwork of red and white. There was no part of his skin that was unmarked. The sensitive skin that covered his wrists was the worst affected area. "I have every right to destroy him like he tried to destroy me."

My eyes traced the scars before finally travelling up to meet Kai's gaze. He nodded once, "I know why you're following him. I know why he attracts you. I've been there and I paid for it." He sighed and folded his arms, hiding the worst of the scars. "They don't stop at my arms." He said, closing his eyes before opening them again, a renewed fire in his eyes. "Don't make the same mistake I did, Bry. You're not the one he's looking for. You're just entertainment for that monster that lives inside of him. The only way forward is to destroy Brooklyn."

Teal eyes that shine with innocence but miss nothing. Hair that brings colour back into the world. Lips pressing against my ear whispering.

"You're just like me."

I'm a sucker for psychopath!Kai. I just can't help myself.

Please tell me what you think