Let me know your thoughts! Sorry I've gotten a bit slower with the updating!
Just a heads up, I will be without any form of internet from June 20th through July 1st. I don't know if this story will be done before then or not, but either way, there will be no posting on any of my fics during that time!
Jace knew that he'd always been wrong about everything he'd thought was true about love. As soon as Alec had taken the first lash, Jace had doubled over in pain so agonizing that he couldn't keep his eyes open. Knowing that Alec was in that kind of pain was one thing, but feeling that pain for himself was something altogether different. The hardest part for Jace was knowing that what he was feeling wasn't even half the pain Alec was feeling. Jace had thought he knew how much he loved Alec, but the feeling of utter terror that washed over him at Alec's pain told him just how wrong he had been.
There was a huge difference between thinking he loved Alec with everything he had and feeling that love through pain. Jace knew without a doubt that he would have easily taken Alec's place. But that didn't do anything to get Alec out of the situation at hand. When Clary's arms went around him, Jace didn't pull away from her. He had to admit that he hadn't expected her to even begin to try to comfort him, but when she did, he found himself leaning into her instead of shoving her away.
He didn't fight as Clary helped him get up and led him out into the hallway. Alec's screaming was much quieter, but the pain Jace felt didn't diminish in any way. Jace allowed Clary to keep a tight hold on him, and, for the first time ever, Jace allowed himself to relax into her embrace. For the second time in about five minutes, Jace realized he knew much less about love than he had once thought. He'd always thought the soulmate legend was just a story, but as soon as Clary's arms went around him, he knew he had been terribly wrong.
Jace allowed himself to relax into the fact that Clary was there with him, to actually let go of everything he'd once believed for the first time in his life. The pain he felt through his parabatai bond was more overwhelming than anything Jace had ever felt, but Clary's hand on his shoulder somehow kept him anchored in reality. Before he could think about what he was doing, Jace reached over to take Clary's hand.
Clary seemed terribly surprised at Jace's gesture, but Jace quickly felt her relax into it. Before long, Jace was half-way curled up, his knees to his chest, trying anything he could to get the pain out of his mind. Jace surprised himself by smiling when Clary started rubbing her thumb across his tattoo. He'd taken the ring off before the trial, but he had no idea why. His best guess was that he'd subconsciously known what kind of difference the trial would make in his mind, in his beliefs of everything around him. Jace could feel the anger toward his father welling up inside of him, but he tamped it down when he looked up to see Alec being carried out of the court room.
"We'll have a talk later, Clary," he said as they got up from the floor. She gave his hand one final squeeze before letting go, and they both turned as Magnus exited the court room, Ragnor and Raphael with him. The next thing Jace knew, Max was in his arms, and all he could do was turn to follow Alec as they tried to get him back to the Lightwood house so that Catarina could begin healing him.
There was only so much Catarina could do, the electrum in the whip messing with her magic in ways that couldn't be helped. She could only heal so much, so she kept him sedated for three days afterward, healing him a bit more each day, trying to keep him out of pain. For those three days, Jace didn't move from Alec's side. They kept asking him to, they kept telling them he would sleep better in a bed instead of the chair beside of Alec's bed. But Jace couldn't find it in himself to move until he knew that Alec was, without a doubt, okay.
The most surprising thing about the situation to Jace was that Magnus didn't leave the room either. He could see the guilt in Magnus's eyes, but no amount of talking to him seemed to help him in any way. "How could it not be my fault?" he asked Jace, the exhaustion and desperation all to evident in his voice. "He did it for me. And if I hadn't gotten so angry with him, none of this would have ever happened. But I didn't even give him the chance to explain things. I wouldn't listen to him, and now here we are."
Every conversation with Magnus seemed to end the same exact way, so eventually Jace started asking about Magnus himself. Jace hadn't exactly been in the know about the fact that Magnus and Alec were dating, but he wasn't bitter about that at all, he understood the multiple reasons Alec had kept it a secret for as long as possible. But Jace figured that there was no harm in learning more about Magnus, there was no harm in trying to navigate his own new-found relationship with Magnus.
The worst part about those three days was that Max didn't want to leave Alec's side either. That would have been fine, but he was constantly asking questions, constantly wanting Alec to wake up. The worst question was if Alec was in pain or not. Thankfully, Magnus was the one to answer him, explaining as gently as possible that Catarina was keeping him asleep so that he wouldn't be in pain.
Even then, waking up was excruciating for Alec, but in the end, Alec had told Jace to leave and rest. That was the last thing Jace wanted to do, but eventually, his exhaustion won out. Jace didn't exactly have the best night's sleep, the pain still radiating through their parabatai bond, but it was sleep, and it had been exactly what he needed. When Clary came in to talk to him, he was much more prepared than he had expected himself to be. "Sit down, Clary," he said before she could say anything at all. "Just hear me out and then I'll do the same for you."
Jace tried to ignore the way she made him extremely nervous, he tried to ignore the way that he liked how the sunlight glittered off her hair. "First, I want to apologize for my reaction to the fact that we're soulmates." Jace smiled ever so slightly when her eyes lit up when he said the word "fact." "No matter how cheesy this might sound, everything that's happened these past few days has made me see exactly how lucky I am to have you as my soulmate. I can't ignore the things that made me feel the way I did, that's a part of me, Clary. But I guess what I'm saying is that I want to try this out. More than I've ever wanted anything before. If you'll have me."
For several seconds, Clary simply looked back at him, her expression not changing in any way. When she moved forward to wrap her arms around him, Jace embraced her so easily it took his breath away. Before Jace could find it in himself to say anything else, he found his lips on Clary's, and he idly realized that that was the exact thing he'd wanted from the very beginning. When Clary relaxed into his touch, Jace brought his hands up to run them through her hair, losing himself entirely in everything about her.
Going home had been a terrible ordeal, and Robert didn't follow them, but Jace had been relieved about that. He had been happy to go home, hoping that they could pick up where they'd left off, hoping that he and Clary would finally get the chance to make something of their relationship. But that had been short-lived to say the least. When someone came to Magnus just a few days later saying they had information about Valentine, Jace had been excited and hopeful.
But now that he was staring back at his father, or whoever this man actually was, Jace knew he'd been wrong to be so excited. Listening to Valentine explain that he was Jace's father should have been the most heartbreaking thing that had ever happened to Jace, but he couldn't seem to feel anything at all. At first, he felt the anger of being lied to for so long wash over him, then his mind switched to thoughts of Clary, but soon enough, he couldn't seem to figure out what he was feeling, if anything at all. "I heard about the little stunt your parabatai pulled," his father said, and Jace's anger immediately returned. "Soon we must have a serious conversation about that, Jonathan."
Jace wanted to turn to tell him that there was nothing to talk about, he wanted to defend Alec, knowing very well that Alec was completely right in everything he did. But then he heard someone at the door, and he knew it was Clary without turning to look at her. The look on her face when his father explained the situation mirrored almost everything he was feeling at the moment. Jace's last thought before his father stepped through the Portal and broke it was that the universe was playing with his life. There was no way his soulmate could be his sister, and he planned to find out what was going on.