Title: Chapter 9 - Friends
Warning: Rated NC-17, smut, graphic sexual content;
A/N: Ian's time in Sacramento. A serious talk. Ian's POV. Small time jumps. :)
Anthony is loving, tender and gentle during their lovemaking. Although, at this stage in their relationship, Ian doesn't really want to call it like that. He is very certain about his own feelings, but he feels that Anthony is still confused about his. He has just broken up with his boyfriend for crying out loud. Of course, this is happening too fast. Of course, they haven't talked about anything yet. Not the past, not their fight, not the present, not their feelings.
However, Ian doesn't care right now. He is aware of all these problems but he is kissing Anthony. He cannot focus on anything else. He wants to enjoy their intimate moments while they last. He's not sure when Anthony is going to wake up and smell the reality. Something just overcame him and he had to kiss his friend. One more time. Feeling his body against his. And luckily for Ian, Anthony doesn't push him away this time. He embraces Ian, holds him in his arms while placing small and gentle kisses on his face, lips, jaw and neck.
They change their position, so that Anthony is lying on top of Ian, hovering his hands over Ian's skinny body. They are still kissing, not needing a break. Ian's roaming his hands over Anthony's back, gripping him tightly, not wanting to let go. Anthony's hands start to put pressure on his skin, releasing a bunch of emotions in Ian. The taller man's hand wander southward, reaching his crotch. This small and actually meant-to-be-loving gesture oddly enough startles Ian so much that he pushes Anthony off of him and sits up.
He rubs the back of his hand over his lips and stares at Anthony's chest.
"Ian... I'm sorry... I...", Anthony begins but halts, apparently not knowing how to go on. "I was just so... caught up in the mom-"
That's the moment Ian straddles Anthony, getting comfortable in his friend's lap. Realization hits him. It was like some strange kind of reflex. The only man who has ever touched him like this, or maybe even kissed him like this, has been Josh. No one else. Anthony's touch feels unfamiliar, and that's what startled Ian a bit. He looks into Anthony's worried, big dark brown eyes, and smiles gently, hoping he can take away his friend's fears and concerns.
"Ian...We don't really have to-"
"I want you, Anthony.", he interrupts him, meaning every word, kissing his cheeks, hands around his neck. He wants Anthony. Now. Raw. Wild. Passionate. He wants to please Anthony. He is going to do that, the one thing he has always been good at.
Ian pulls down the taller man's pants and briefs, just enough to free Anthony's hard cock. Then he works on his own sweats and briefs, taking them off completely. Anthony's eyes widen in surprise when Ian positions him in front of his entrance. He is about to sit down when Anthony grabs him tightly.
"Ian, stop!", he shouts, panting, a shocked expression on his face. "Condom!"
Ian looks at him curiously but then nods smiling. Anthony points to his drawer, Ian takes out one package, rips it open and rolls it onto Anthony's length. After that, nothing can stop him from giving Anthony pleasure. He pushes himself onto the other man, and starts riding him, slowly at first and gradually speeding up his movements.
Quiet moans, hisses, and pants fill the room, Ian holding onto Anthony's upper chest, his arms around his neck, and Anthony gripping his hips and supporting the smaller man. Ian's heart races at the sensation of Anthony filling him, being buried inside of him. He starts moving faster, and faster, pulling all out of Anthony before pushing back on forcefully. They both come almost at the same time, Ian releasing himself against Anthony's chest, and Anthony screaming out his orgasm, which is muffled by him pressing his mouth into Ian's shoulder.
"Was it good?", Ian asks, panting heavily, after they have calmed down a bit.
"Yes... fuck yes...", Anthony answers, chuckling.
"Good."
A content grin spreads on Ian's lips as he unmounts the other man and gets dressed again.
"I think we need new shirts.", Anthony says, taking off his cum-spilled shirt and throwing it to the ground.
"Uhm... Yes, I think so.", Ian stutters and walks over to his backpack, taking out a fresh shirt. "I'm gonna... take a quick shower if you don't mind."
"No, not at all.", Anthony answers, tossing away the used condom into the bin, his back to Ian. "Can I join you?"
"I... I'll be quick.", is the only answer Ian can think of and closes the bathroom door. He leans against the door and exhales deeply. He takes off his shirt and then looks at himself in the mirror, long and thorough. Scars on his chest, abdomen and back. Small cigarette burns. Bruises from a week ago that haven't healed yet. He swallows hard, letting out a deep breath.
He is not ready to show Anthony how broken and bruised he really is.
The next two days are filled with laughter and happy new memories to feed on later. On Tuesday, they visit the Mendocino National Forest. They go hiking, stroll around nature, laughing and spotting an animal here and there. Anthony takes a bunch of selfies with his phone, forcing Ian to join him in doing stupid faces and poses. They have brought along sandwiches, some fruits and enough water to stay in the forest all day long.
They make a small picnic by Lake Pilsbury, taking in the beautiful landscape and scenery. While they are enjoying their sandwiches, Anthony sits a bit away from Ian, leaving some space between them.
"I don't bite.", Ian finally says and Anthony looks up wide-eyed.
"Oh... No, it's not that... I just... I wanted to...", he stutters, looking everywhere now but not at Ian. "I just wanted to give you some space."
Ian can't help but chuckle at that statement. Maybe it's because of last night that Anthony has been a bit more distant than the last few days. It's his fault. He shouldn't have backed away. Ian feels Anthony slipping away again and decides to do something about that. So, he pushes their water bottles, which lie between them, aside and scoots closer, their shoulders touching now.
"See? Still not biting.", he states, making Anthony smile. "Well, at least, not now...", he adds in a lower voice, pecking his friend on the cheek. "Thanks for the trip, Anthony. I really enjoy spending time with you."
"Sure. You're welcome." An obvious blush lights up on Anthony's cheeks.
"I know you still have to think about a lot of things and come clean with your feelings. Just want you to know, that whatever you decide, I hope we can at least still be friends. I am willing to give us another shot."
Ian doesn't know himself where these thoughts have just come from, but they are heartfelt and honest. He loves Anthony, yes, but if he doesn't love Ian back, if this all has just been a way for Anthony to be sure about his feelings, then Ian will understand. It won't be easy going back to just being friends after Ian has experienced things he has been dreaming of for so long, but he will try. He just doesn't want to lose Anthony. Not as a lover, not as a friend.
The rest of the day is spent with a quick dive in the lake, relaxing in the sun afterward and then hiking back to the car. When they arrive at home, late in the evening, Ian falls into Anthony's bed, tired, exhausted, but happy that he got to spend such an awesome time with his friend. Anthony soon joins him, curls up next to him, wrapping an arm around Ian's waist, and they both fall asleep like that within minutes.
The next day the pack up their things and drive down to San Francisco, and it turns out to be one hell of a trip. Their first stop is the famous Pier 39 where they actually see some sea lions sunbathing; they take a walk down Lombard Street, taking in the beautiful and colorful scenery surrounding them; they visit the aquarium at the California Academy of Sciences; in the late afternoon they end up at Super Duper Burger's, where you can apparently find the best burgers ever made.
Ian has never been to San Francisco, so Anthony shows him around, telling him all the little anecdotes and stories surrounding this colorful and cheerful city.
"You wanna know something...uhm... dirty?", Anthony asks at one point as they are strolling through the Golden Gate Park. "There is an annual Masturbate-a-thon. It's for charity. And the current record is 10 hours."
"Holy shit!", Ian exclaims. "How does this even work?"
"Don't ask me." He leans over, nuzzling Ian's ear. "Me, I just have to look at you and I could come right here. Right now. Wouldn't take me 10 seconds."
This time around, it's Ian whose cheeks turn red at once at that statement. Anthony is a bit more self-confident today, a little bit cocky even. He even holds Ian's hand sometimes throughout the day, squeezing it gently from to time. And right now, he is totally exaggerating. Ian doesn't like to think of himself as the type of guy other guys, especially hot guys like his friend, swoon over. However, he accepts the compliment; on the outside, he plays the cool one and punches his friend jokingly in the arm.
They are on the drive home when Anthony's phone goes off. He asks Ian to check it.
"It's Shayne. You want me to read it out for you?"
Anthony nods and Ian opens the message.
S: yo, doofus, i'm already in Sacramento, visiting my uncle and aunt.
S: i can be at your place tomorrow around noon
S: cu then :)
"Perfect!", Anthony says excitedly. "I gotta prepare everything before he arrives. Gotta go shopping. You wanna come along tomorrow or do you wanna sleep in? I really gotta buy a bunch of Sour Patch Kids. He loves them!"
Ian smiles at Anthony's enthusiasm and excitement to see his friend again. He looks out of the window. Weird. His stomach suddenly hurts a bit.
They arrive in Sacramento at around 8:30 pm. They quickly say hi to Anthony's parents, tell them shortly about their day and head for Anthony's room. It's become kind of a habit that Ian takes a shower first, already getting ready for bed, and then it's Anthony's turn. One hour later they are both relaxing, Ian watching a movie while Anthony is quite occupied with planning out the day with Shayne.
"We gotta order Thai, cause Shayne loves Thai and spicy food. And then we could play some Mario Kart and Super Mario Bros on my new Wii. And later we gotta go for a swim in the pool. Shayne used to be in the swimming club at my college, a really good one..." Anthony pauses, which makes Ian glance at him. "...but he hurt his arm last summer. And his swimming career was over. He could have become an Olympic swimmer. He holds the record for the fastest 100m freestyle nationwide. Some scouts were already interested in him, but... yeah, well, life sucks sometimes."
"No shit." Ian doesn't even notice that he has said that out loud. Must have slipped.
Anthony apparently hasn't heard his remark or he chooses to ignore it.
"Anthony?" Ian mutes the television and walks over to Anthony who is sitting on his bed, taking notes and writing a shopping list.
"Yes?"
"Tell me about your life."
Only now does Anthony put aside his notes and pencil and he turns around to face Ian.
"What do you wanna know?"
"What your life was like. After you left. After our fight. Did you feel lonely? Did you make new friends quickly?" Ian pauses for a moment, bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "Did you miss me at all?"
Anthony shifts so that he sits next to Ian now, leaning against the bedhead.
"Yes, I did. A lot, actually. I missed my best friend."
Ian flinches slightly at that but other than that doesn't move.
"The first year at that boarding school was really tough on me. You know how shy and self-conscious I was back then. It felt strange. I was quite lonely. High school was actually a really bad time for me. I barely made acquaintances. Colleagues. I was stressed out, I couldn't keep up with my teammates in our swimming team, my grades were not so good. I began doubting whether I really belonged there. If it had been the right decision to leave everything and everyone behind for a dream I apparently would never achieve."
"Sorry to hear that. I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?"
"It wouldn't have mattered. You wouldn't have changed my mind. And around that time of our fight, it got a bit better. I got new teammates. I trained harder. I pulled myself together. I focused on what was important, and that was my dream. Swimming. Being free. And so I didn't mind having no friends, as long as I was able to swim. I kept on moving forward. And then I graduated. I got into the university I wanted, and everything changed from there on. Suddenly I had a bunch of people supporting me, who wanted to hang out with. Me and Shayne, we hit it off almost right away."
"He's a bit older, right?"
"One year. He showed me around on my first day at the university. We bonded over our love for swimming and we have the same kind of humor. I stopped hiding. He was nice to me and wanted to be my friend."
"I didn't know that you had such a hard time, Anthony.", Ian muttered. That weird feeling in his stomach intensifies times a hundred. Yet this time out of guilt and not jealousy. "But I'm glad you're doing okay now. And I can't wait to meet your new best friend. I bet it's gonna be a fun day tomorrow."
Ian leans back and rests his head against Anthony's shoulder.
"Yes, I'm also very excited for you to meet Shayne.", Anthony adds, slinging an arm around Ian's waist. "And Ian?"
"Hm?"
"I have enough friends already. All I need now is someone to love."
Ian smiles. It's not really a love confession, but it will do for now.