Chapter 9

Don't Blink

A/N- Not much to say since this is a double posting.

Oh, lately I've been addicted to listening to Celtic music. Especially "Flogging Molly." No idea what that has to do with Star Wars, but I felt like mentioning it.

Enjoy!

-Don ^_^

For whatever odd reason that nobody, not even the early riser himself could determine, he was up at the crack of dawn with a general soreness in his body that would probably last for the next few hours. Anakin had never had a hangover, but he was sure that this is exactly what it felt like, only worse. He had an earsplitting headache and tightness in his neck that he couldn't quite place for a source.

He rubbed it subconsciously as he stepped out into the foggy clad air. It wrapped about him like a cloak to the point where someone standing in front of him wouldn't be able to see his face or even little more than his silhouette and as far as he could tell there wasn't a soul about to tell any differently.

It was far too early for anything to be awake, not even those in the Galactic Alliance or if they were awake, Anakin wasn't in the mind to care if he woke them. His force bond stretched out and when he lightly touched the mind he was trying to reach, he felt some hesitation and surprise.

Sorry for waking you, He said. There was a pause.

Well, at least I know you're alive at this unforcely hour, He could almost feel her rolling her eyes at him. It didn't bother him in the slightest that she sounded more than a little rattled and irritated at him. He was too busy focusing on how happy he was to hear her voice in his head, even if it was miles away.

Was there a reason for you waking me up or are you simply trying to start a fight?

Who, me?

Anakin, Despite the annoyance in Tahiri's tone, he could tell she was smiling and bemused by his feigned innocence. The galaxy is on the move.

He hesitated, wondering how much she'd sensed through their bond, I know. That's why I wanted to warn you to be safe. Don't trust anyone unless you have to.

Tahiri frowned at that and made sure to send the sentiment through their bond. She could tell he was as afraid and uncertain as she was. There were so many factors that they couldn't account for and one of them was Anakin's own force power. It was possible that he wasn't going to be able use it without hurting himself. She'd figured out that he was more or less training with Jesse to find out if he could use it and what side he'd use it to support. Not that she doubted his loyalties, but lately she'd wondered if Anakin Solo was still in control of himself or if some other alter ego had taken over just as Darth Vader had taken over Anakin Skywalker. At that point Anakin Skywalker had been killed, murdered and betrayed by the anger he had kept pent up against the rest of the galaxy. He was a loose canon that eventually destroyed the things he'd destroyed himself to protect.

Anakin Solo feared those things. He so wanted to avoid becoming his grandfather that he almost forgot to stop and love the things that set him apart from his heritage.

You've got to trust people a little more, She said. He let out a laugh, causing his breathe to join the fog around him. Especially yourself.

Anakin smiled, I'll do my best.

Do that, She said, satisfied at least that he'd actually listened to her and laughed a little. That assured her that he was safe from falling into his usual state of uncertainty.

We're moving out, Anakin sent to her. Tahiri felt the weight in his words and the sigh that followed. She sucked in a breath and he feared for a second that she might terminate their mind connection. Instead she finally responded.

And you're going with them, as a Fallen Knight? The question hung over him, tempting him to say what he desperately wanted to. To deny that there was even the remote chance that he'd be leaving on what might be a long and isolating fight with a group that was the enemy of both the Galactic Alliance and what was left of the New Republic and its allies. The Fallen Knights weren't Jedi and they weren't Sith and that further isolated them from gaining the favor of any of the others fighting against the Galactic Alliance. But maybe in a strange way, that made them better suited to succeed where the others were bound to fail.

Would it make you feel better if I said no?

Just answer the question, Anakin.

He sighed, Yes to both.

She rubbed her temples and then nodded, even though he couldn't see it, he felt her reluctant acceptance of his choice. If you go, you have to be in it completely. Focus on what you believe is right, not what Jesse thinks.

Tahiri-

I don't like this, Anakin! But I'm willing to let you do what you think is right. He retreated from the bond for a second, feeling the anger and frustration in her voice. It was clear that she hated every minute he was gone on his quest to master his force fire. Though it wasn't for the reasons he thought from the mixed emotions he sensed from her. You just keep forgetting things… things you should already know are a part of you. I don't think I can handle this anymore.

Anakin let the words sink in before he said calmly, What do you want me to do? Just name it and I'll do it.

Stop being an idiot, She snapped curtly. Most of the time I don't know if there actually is anything going on in that head of yours at all. But I want to believe there is. So prove me wrong by showing me you know how to think without taking the easy way out of everything. Keep your promise to me.

Tahiri-

Your word, Anakin, or I'm cutting this off right here.

Anakin wondered briefly if he really had any choice in his future at all with the power she had over him. But it was much better than not having her support. Still, he hadn't expected her to ask him to keep that tiny promise he'd made on a whim after the Mykyr mission. It was something he'd said to keep her happy and maybe he'd planned to stay out of trouble, but he couldn't really do it completely, could he?

That promise? You can't honestly believe I'd be able to keep that, I might have to… He let his thought drop, causing her to send a heated indignant response.

Have to what?

You know what.

No, I really don't. What is so important that there's only one way to do it? Anakin cursed to himself. He wished he hadn't started this conversation so early in the morning. She could be really crabby when she hadn't had her caf. He didn't blame her. She'd been taking care of Kam non-stop without complaint since he'd left and it wasn't surprising that she sounded completely worn out.

That I'll have to lose myself to keep the galaxy from falling apart.

You won't have to, there are other ways, Tahiri said firmly, though she felt her own doubt creeping into her tone.

If that happens, tell Kam I'm sorry, Anakin said.

Anakin, you don't have to-

Tahiri, we both know the road I'm walking isn't solid. Even Jesse knows that. That's why he needed my solid decision on whether I was in or out. If I'm in, I need to know that you'll be okay if I don't come back as myself.

Is that you talking or your alter-ego? He sighed in exasperation at the bitter retort.

Tahiri.

She rubbed her forehead, Look, I'm sorry, Anakin. You don't deserve that. But you have to understand that there is always another way. You don't have to follow your grandfather's footsteps. Didn't meeting Kitster teach you anything?

Anakin shook his head, It taught me that anything can happen. My grandfather was a person, Tahiri. Just like you, like me, and like everyone we know. He could have been like Jacen, a noble and protective father who died because he didn't want to give in to the dark side. My grandfather loved my grandmother. Everything he did, he did to save her because she was all he had left.

But she wasn't all he had left, Anakin fell silent at the solid statement. He hadn't expected someone else to know anything more about his grandfather.

He had his entire life ahead of him. He had two children and he had friends.

None of them believed he could be something more, that's what killed him.

No, it's because he believed he couldn't do it that he failed. I think he could have done the right thing if he tried, Tahiri waited for a second and felt Anakin smile at that.

You're not just saying that because you don't want to see me go down that way?

She gave a derisive snort, I'm saying that because you don't tell yourself that often enough on your own.

And that's your job now, is it?

You better believe it is.

He smiled and nodded, I'll be sure to remember it then.

Actually or are you just saying that?

"Anakin, it's time to go," Jesse said and Anakin sighed. I'm saying it with as much confidence as I can right now.

I can deal with that, She said with a smile. Go on, I'll wait.

You sure?

As sure as I can be right now.

I can deal with that, He said and let out a sigh, I've got to go now. I love you.

Go on, She said before she could stop herself. If she could sense the surprise and slight hurt in his expression as he heard her response, she didn't show it. He smiled and then the bond went quiet.

With the silence that followed and then the cutting off of their bond, for what she knew was a safety precaution, she slowly felt regret and fear fill her. Anakin had been trying to be brave or at least as brave as he could be, but she had given him the cold shoulder in an attempt to make parting easier.

Now that she had done that, she knew it wasn't going to be.

Kirk practically had to grab onto the dash board to prevent himself from being thrown through the frontal view port. Mara simply stood her ground, knuckles turning white as they latched themselves onto the back of the pilot's chair.

"Okay, we are not trying to smash them head on," Corran said, picking himself up off the floor. Mara nodded her assent of that opinion.

"So what are we going to do?" Kirk asked, staring out once again at the Star Destroyer that had nearly taken the entire hull apart with a single blast. It was pure chance that it missed or the Galactic Alliance was playing with them. It was such an imperialistic thing to do that Corran was brought back to the times when he had to worry about being stuck by such a blast. There were so many close shaves where he could have joined the space dust floating in specks around them right now that he was surprised that he had any strength left to stand and fight again.

The only two people who were still in their prime were Zekk and Kirk, the other two were older, seasoned Jedi with more experience in dealing with the Imperials and the like. Zekk came over from the gunner's seat and folded his arms across his chest. They were floating in plain view of the Star Destroyers yet none of them had made any serious attempts to blast the tiny ship from the stars.

"They're waiting to capture us," Zekk said. All eyes turned to face him. "It was a trap." Mara scowled.

"Then they're getting way too comfortable," She stood up and walked to the gunner's seat. "I wasn't an agent of the Empire all those years for just sitting on my butt." The others exchanged glances and before any of them could say a word the laser turrets rotated and shot three blasts into the hull of the nearest Destroyer. A rewarding explosion rippled through it. Almost instantaneously a flurry of blasts answered hers. The ship rocked and then several alarms went off in the cabin, drenching the four companions in flickering red emergency lights.

"Hang tight, Boys. This isn't over yet by a long shot."

Jaina's response to Zekk's absence was milder than any of her fellow Jedi could have hoped for. She still fumed and seethed and almost killed the innocent messenger. Still, the fact that she hadn't stormed off after him said a lot for her control or lack thereof.

"When am I going to wake up and find that everyone is in one place? And why the kriff didn't you wake me up?"

"Hey, don't kill me, I'm just the messenger here," Natie said with a disgruntled sigh. "And don't forget Kirk is gone too. So you're not the only one who's worried." Jaina finally had to deflate her anger slightly for the reason in Natie's words. It was true, Zekk wasn't the only one who had taken off the minute the news of Han's capture had spread.

"Do we even have any news of how they're doing?" Jaina said, sinking onto the couch. Despite Hape's pristine and generally uncomfortable furniture, which was as well furbished as one could expect from a royal family, yet most of their couches and chairs lacked the ability to make a guest feel even remotely at home there was a comfortable couch in one of the private lounges of the palace. Jaina suspected Jacen had commissioned it because of how soft the cushions were and how easy it was for someone to literally sink into the fabric. It was definitely something Jacen enjoyed doing when he had the time: lounging around on couches. Between all three siblings, Jacen was the only one who really knew how to relax. Anakin was the least likely of all of them. He was always concerned about something or other and preferred being subject to stiff necked chairs or standing to sitting.

Jaina liked running around and actively helping out way too much to sit down for long periods of time. But Jacen, he was a master of the art of lounging. It was certainly something that Tenel Ka had to get used to since she was a woman of action and liked formal things better than things that made her comfortable.

"As far as I'm concerned, no," Natie replied, sitting down on the edge of the couch. Jaina sighed.

"I can't take any more of this," She said. "Zekk was supposed to stay long enough for me to actually figure out what the hell my brother's doing. And I don't know what either of them are doing!" She flopped back onto the cushions, "They can go fall into the Sarlacc pit for all I care."

Natie found it hard not to let a smile twitch across her face. "Except that would be worse."

"You know, it might actually teach them a few things," Jaina said thoughtfully.

"I doubt it," Natie said with a roll of her eyes, "Those guys are going to be boys forever."

Jaina smirked, "Then I'm glad Mara's the one who'll beat some sense into them."

"Literally or figuratively?" Natie asked, frowning slightly, though mostly in good humor.

"Knowing Aunt Mara," Jaina said with a wave of her hand, "It'll probably be more literal than not."

Natie raised an eyebrow, "That's actually mildly comforting." Jaina nodded, stretching back and folding her arms behind her head.

"Isn't it?" She paused then as the pitter patter of feet sounded outside the door and in ran Nina followed by Kam, and the small form of Rose as she trailed behind her older brother, thumb in her mouth and other hand clamped onto to the loose end of his tunic, Valin remained stoic, his face unreadable and his eyes focused on the data-pad in his hand.

"Mommy!" Nina yelled and launched herself onto the couch, causing Natie to give an involuntary "oof" of air when the toddler landed on her mother's stomach.

"Sweetie, you're almost too old to be jumping on people like that," Natie said firmly. Nina made a pouting face.

"But Kam does it to his daddy all de time," She turned to her friend for confirmation, but he wilted under the harsh glare of his aunt. In the short time that he'd gotten to know his aunt, he'd soon realized she wasn't as soft on discipline as Anakin was and she was often stricter than Tahiri.

"Oh?" Jaina said, frowning at Kam, who swallowed.

"What's this you've done now?" Tahiri asked, coming in behind her son.

"Um… nothing, Mommy," Kam said hurriedly and then ran from the room. Nina didn't move from her position on her mother's lap as she was now sound asleep. Natie looked up at Tahiri, who seemed as worn out as any of them were. It was a miracle how Tenel Ka managed to look after two children when Natie, Tahiri and Jaina were all ready to collapse within a few hours of their temporary lone statuses. Natie now understood how hard it was for her brothers to cope with the world on their own and manage to raise Natie at the same time. It seemed that Tenel Ka could raise all their children and still run a planet with the honor and prestige of her station. If she was stressed out by it at all she certainly did a good job of hiding the fact.

Jaina wondered how Tenel Ka fared these days. Jacen's death still cast a shadow over their friendship and left them with little to talk about except the war and how the kids were doing. What had either of them done in the past to be so close? Was it really Jacen who bridged that gap? If so, then that meant that their friendship wasn't anything more than a courtesy due to Jacen's presence.

But Jaina knew that wasn't true. It couldn't be. All those years where they risked their lives for each other, where they bled and bonded over small moments and adventures bigger than they were in the scope of the galaxy, and there was no way that all of those things were just because of Jacen. He was a huge part of both of their lives, but he wasn't the reason Tenel Ka and Jaina were friends. She was as much friends with Jaina as she was with Jacen. The only thing that changed over the years was that Tenel Ka had fallen in love with Jaina's twin.

They weren't the same person. No matter how hard they tried to be one, they weren't. Jaina felt her brother drifting when he fell in love with Tenel Ka and it was then that she realized her brother wasn't just half of her anymore. He was half of Tenel Ka too. That half of Tenel Ka may have died with Jacen, but the half that remembered what it was like to be friends with Jaina too hadn't. It was in Tenel Ka somewhere.

Rose cast a furtive glance around and then plopped herself down on the carpet. Valin looked down at her and when he sensed that there was nothing amiss, he turned around and walked out of the room.

Jaina watched him go. He resembled a very young Jacen to the point where it was hard for Jaina to believe that her brother was gone at all. She was sure Tenel Ka often thought the same thing. She hadn't known Jacen when he was a young boy, but she knew Jacen enough that if she saw Valin she'd think he resembled his father.

But there was something unsettling about how quiet Valin was these days. The boy rarely said anything when in the presence of the other children and even when he was in training he didn't talk much. This was so recent that it had to have had something to do with Mara's absence or maybe with Anakin's.

Did Valin know something that the others didn't? Jaina wondered about this. It seemed unlikely. But like that afternoon when the ghost of Tahiri's father had appeared and would have escaped everyone's knowledge if Kam hadn't pointed it out, Valin could know something the older Jedi didn't.

He was eight and already showed frightening amounts force strength. Even Kam paled by comparison. It was a matter of time before Valin reached the right age to begin full training. Jaina's worry over whether Mara would be able to handle Valin's full power had been overshadowed by her pride and joy at Valin's progress. But it was becoming clear that if Valin kept up his training at this rate, he would soon surpass Mara and the only one who could handle his training at that point would be Anakin. He was the one their Uncle Luke Skywalker had projected would become the next Grand Jedi Master after all.

"Jaina," She turned to look over at Tahiri, whose expression was one of concern. "Who besides Mara knows anything about visions?"

Jaina frowned, "Did you have one?" The younger woman shook her head, filling Jaina with some relief. But Tahiri's glum expression remained. "Master K'tar might know something," She paused then, "Or Master Ikrit."

"Master Ikrit?" Tahiri thought for a moment. It hadn't occurred to her to ask the small furry Jedi Master for advice on visions, but it seemed the obvious choice since she needed an outsider's opinion. So she shook her head. "No, I'd rather ask Master K'tar, he'd be able to give an objective opinion on what I have to ask."

Jaina shrugged, "Whatever you think is best." She then looked at her sister in law. "This doesn't have to do with Anakin, does it?"

Tahiri hesitated, pondering if telling Jaina was the best choice. But then again Jaina was bound to figure it out anyways. Anyone who knew anything about Anakin and knew that he and Tahiri were best friends would be able to put the facts together. "It does, but not in as direct a way as you might think."

Jaina opened her mouth slightly and then when she sensed the calm from Tahiri, nodded. There wasn't much to be said until Tahiri got the answers she needed anyways. After all, this was one thing that only she could know about that she wasn't sure she could tell Anakin. This conversation was something that she'd dreaded having, but was one that would have come sooner or later.

Tahiri stood up. "Jaina, can you-?"

"I'll watch Kam, you go do what you need to do," Jaina said with a firm nod. Tahiri smiled her gratefulness.

"Thank you, Jaina."

"Hey, what's family for?" Jaina said, grinning the famous Solo grin. Tahiri once again remembered why she loved being a member of the Solo family and being married to Anakin. They were more loyal and loving than anyone Tahiri knew, and that knowledge alone was enough to keep her going from day to day.

Only now she'd have to question that love on the deepest level possible. Once outside of the lounge, she took a deep breath and started towards the Temple where Master K'tar was most likely meditating.

Ann stumbled forward as the cold grip of the stormtrooper released her and she had only a second to glance back before the door clanged shut, leaving her in complete darkness.

"Trainees will now attempt to break into each other's minds. Verbal insults are permitted," A cool voice spoke from above her and she looked around in the black abyss for a source, but found none. She shivered. There was something honestly strange about this situation. How would she know when her opponent was coming?

"Scared?" She jumped as a face and dark torso suddenly materialized out of the darkness. She backed away a few paces before she really got a good look at the other's face. It was the same boy that she'd met in line.

"You," Ann said. "You helped me."

He frowned, "You were the one acting like an idiot. Any more thinking and they'd have killed you."

"What about now? Won't they kill us for talking?" She asked, glancing around. He shook his head, looking over his shoulder.

"They don't tape the sounds in here," He smiled, "They don't want to hear the insults, they only want to feel the results of the match."

"Feel what?" Ann asked, narrowing her eyes in confusion. He smiled in grim amusement.

"If you're dead or not." Ann froze, staring into the boy's eyes now. They weren't hateful or even bloodthirsty, but they were unnervingly unemotional. She couldn't sense what his intentions were let alone if he had any.

"How many people have you killed?" She asked quietly. He shrugged.

"I lost count," His eyes revealed a small amount of irritation now. "They make us do this every so often so they can narrow down the candidates for their Sith army to the best."

"And the others are either dead or used as stormtrooper fodder?" Ann asked bitterly. He nodded.

"You get the idea, good," He straightened. "I'm sorry to say, but one of us has to be the fodder this time."

"At least you gave me an explanation," Ann muttered. He laughed. Now she could see the bright green color in his eyes, so prominent in their milky white backgrounds and he was coming closer and closer still. She stood firmly in her boots and stared him down. She couldn't blink.

He reached out a hand and pressed it to her forehead and immediately pain streamed through it. All her thoughts, memories began to flood into the forefront of her mind. She tried pushing them back, struggling against the hand that held her head, but she couldn't move. His fingers dug into the skin of her forehead and she went down onto her knees.

But she didn't close her eyes or blink. The whole time she stared down the boy. She wanted to memorize the face of this person, whoever he was, so when the time came, she could kill him for what he'd done to her. Those memories were private. She felt anger entering her. He had no right to see her, hear her, or even know her through Ann's eyes. The dam shut and Ann was on her feet, her mind storming forward with all the force and anger bottled up from her time alone in that tiny quarters. The boy staggered backwards and hit the floor. She continued to walk towards him, still throwing her furious thoughts at him. She didn't care if he felt them, it only mattered if he suffered from them.

She suddenly felt adrenaline pumping through her veins and her excitement at destroying this person, this boy filled her with pride and satisfaction. "Enough!" The voice boomed from overhead.

He tumbled to the ground and she stood, bent over, breathing heavily and now realized that she was covered in sweat. What had just happened? She glanced over at the boy on the ground. To her surprise, he only seemed a little tired, but otherwise he smiled at her obliviously.

"Well, done. Very well done, Both of You," The voice said. "Because you both showed strength, you will not be required to fight one another with lightsabers. You may return to your quarters."

The lights clicked on and Ann grimaced. How long had they been down here? Two firm hands gripped her arms and steered her around. She blinked now and from the corner of her eyes saw the boy trailing behind her, two stormtroopers flanking him, but not pinning his arms against his back like hers were. His smile was still plastered on his face as though he could see right through her. Had he even been trying back there?

At the bridge between the two sides of the building, they split off, her stormtroopers turned her left and his took him across the bridge and down the hall.

"Were you fighting him?" Ann turned around to find a girl behind her, dark hair and was a few years Ann's senior.

"No, we just had a mental battle," Ann said, now comprehending what that whole thing was about. It still made very little sense to her.

"You're lucky then," The dark haired girl said, "That boy's name is Rain. He's a Sith Lord."

Anakin felt a general unease fill him as he stood next to the other Fallen Knights. They were amassed in a circle, their lightsabers pointed into the center. "Each one of you must swear an oath to the Fallen Knights," He straightened, "And if it is broken, you will either be killed by a fellow Knight or by the nature of your betrayal. We are fighting in situations where it is our way or death."

There was a deafening silence that followed this statement. Anakin suddenly wished he had returned to Sekot while he had the chance. But Tahiri's words rang in his mind: If you go, you have to be in it completely. Focus on what you believe is right, not what Jesse thinks.

"Swear now:

I will use all my emotions.

I will fear if I am afraid.

I will hate if I am drawn to it.

I will follow the darkest path if it is the one to light.

I will follow the words of the Jedi Code or the Sith Code if they are the only way.

I will do what I must to protect the weak.

I will give up uncertainty for anger.

I will give up folly for faith in the force, whether it leads to death or life.

And I will be loyal to my fellow Fallen Knights.

We shall protect each other and honor each other,

Or death shall be our sanctuary.

Now repeat it." Along with the rest of the Fallen Knights, Anakin repeated the words of the oath. He was now bound to it as he was to the force.

"We fight alone," Jesse continued, "Therefore, all other ties must be left behind. You have sworn an oath to protect your fellow Fallen Knights. Therefore if you have any other ties, you will sever them now."

Anakin slowly felt each of the Knights cutting off their force connections one by one. Finally it came to him. All eyes rested on Anakin.

"You swore the oath, Anakin, now you must complete it," Jesse said, though not without looking somewhat uncomfortable. Both knew what it meant if Anakin didn't cut off his other connections and both knew what it meant if he did. Neither was appealing. Anakin focused in on his connections and one by one, they fell from his mind.

"Thank you," Jesse said and without another word they filed onto the ships provided and one by one shot into hyperspace.