An Evelmys Story
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Chapter Ten:
Compromises
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(September 17, 1987 12 Years Of Age)
Nick Stokes's point of viewZoe Townsend's House
Greg sat beside me thinking hard on my sob story. I wish he'd pull his eyes off his lap and look at me. But his eyes remain planted on his jeans. From his fallen eyes, I could tell he wanted to ask me about that horrible night. Maybe know how bad mine was.
"Do you need to talk about it?" I broke the silence needing to hear his voice. His eyes were still locked on the hole in his jeans, as his head nodded yes.
"How bad?" he asked, his voice was barely a whisper. "Did it hurt?""It was uncomfortable," I answered. "It didn't hurt so much, I was mostly scared."
"Mine hurt," he sniffled.
I pulled off to the side of the road, placing my hazard lights on blinking orange in the street. My car in park, I turned to him and took his face in my hands.
"Tell me, love," I encouraged.
"He was my kindergarten teacher," he broke down in sobs. For the rest of the time that's all I got from him was sobs. Over the centre console, I hugged him, comforting him to let him know that that awful man is gone. That I won't hurt him as that man hurt him. Greg clung onto me as though his life depended on me being there. Years he carried around this pain. I held him tight as a young child broke in my arms.
He pulled, from my arms muttering something about seeing my cousin. "You ready?" I asked to make sure and he nodded. I reached my hand over the console and took his. "I'm here with you, Greg."
"I know," he acknowledged and squeezed my hand supportively.
I pulled the car to a stop in front of the old brick house on Cherry Lane. Once more, I looked over to him to see if he was ready for this. A puppy, lost and scared sat beside me, or might as well from the look in his eyes. I held out my hand and he took it. A grave smile spread over his face and I knew he was as ready as he was ever going to be.
Leaving the car, I walked to his door and took him by the hand. His eyes for a second smiled at me, but quickly faded as the reality of our visit struck him hard. Tensions rose within my love as we approached the door on Cherry Lane. Subconsciously, I bite my lower lip, but quickly stop when I notice Greg's eyes upon me. A nervous habit of sorts I really should break.
I look at him on this cool September night and I wonder if he can tell how beautiful he is. His eyes look at me nearly star-struck the words of adoration were upon his lips but contained within his lovely body. I bet all Greg can see is the scars that lie upon his skin from all the men who wish to harm him.The questions he wishes to ask rested upon those pink lips. From his eyes, I could tell he was trying to push his self-doubts out of his mind. I really do understand. All his life he was conditioned to believe that people like him were monsters. Something like that just doesn't go away overnight.
"Are you ready?" I asked and he nodded his head. It was now or never and I took the heavy knocker in my hand and clanked it against the wooden door a few times.
Zoe wasted no time answering the door.
"Dylan said you would be coming over," she opened the door and invited the two of us inside her wonderful home. "Please, make yourself comfortable. Is there anything I can get for you?"
"No, that's quite all right," I answered. While her back was turned, I leaned over close to Greg and muttered something about her nearly inedible cooking skills. Greg chuckled of course and Zoe turned around with a glare.
"It's good to see you," she sat down across form us. She looked as beautiful as ever. Long brunette hair, the trademark Stokes brown eyes, tanned skin, and a beautiful smile. Even in her hospital scrubs, she looked as beautiful as ever. "Dylan said you needed to talk to me."
"That's right," I took a deep breath and glanced at Greg momentarily. "I need to ask you a favour."
"What is it, Nick. What do you need?"
"Remember when we were kids?" I didn't know a better place to start this conversation.
"Of course I remember, your parents were always gone, we spent months together," Zoe recalled.
"And you got really sick," I added.
"How could I forget, I spent three years in and out of the hospital getting one bone marrow transfusions after another."
At that moment, the friendly atmosphere sobered as her eyes locked with mine. Greg's body shivered with the change of attitudes. Instinctively, I took him by the hand and let him know that I'm still by his side, always, by his side.
Zoe's playful demeanour dissipated right where she sat. Her eyes became melancholy, as she remembered the exact exchange we shared that day.
"I promised, that I would repay the favour you gave me," she said nearly lifelessly. Clearly, she forgot her unfulfilled promise. The favour I am here to collect from her. Her eyes jolt up at mine, her hand covered her mouth in shock. "You're here to collect."
"Yeah," I took a deep breath, thinking about the best way to put this.
From behind my back a voice said, "How come you never told me about this?" His voice was filled with concern his blue eyes sparkled with sadness.
"Because I didn't want to tell anyone, Dylan," Zoe defended. "It happened a long time ago. Surely, you can understand that some things are just too painful to retell."
Dylan remained silent, as his eyes grazed over Greg and I curiously, wondering what we're asking for in return. What I asked of my cousin was no more than what she asked of me when we were children. The gift of life comes in many forms, but it is still the same gift and I ask no more of her than that.
"What do you want from my wife, Nick?" Dylan asked almost scared to know what the answer could be.
"Nothing more than what she asked of me," I answered honestly.
"You're not dying are you?" Zoe gulped afraid of what my answer could be.
"No, no, I'm not dying," I assured her and her face melted with some relief. "I do need your help though."
Right that moment, I swear she was about to agree to anything I wanted. The look in her eyes said that, but she held herself back at the last moment. I squeezed Greg's hand trying to assure him that everything was going to be all right. I could tell he was nervous. Hell, I'm nervous so I really can't blame him. He's carrying that child within his body and I can just imagine how scared he is.
"Tell me what you need me to do," she said softly.
"I need you to help with a pregnancy," I stated.
Zoe looked at me curiously for a second waiting for an explanation. Maybe, she was figuring out why it was I brought Greg Sanders with me. Her eyes shift between the two of us, her mind reaching all sorts of unspoken conclusions.
"It's not what you think," I tried to back-peddle as fast as I could. Yes, I was fond of Greg, very fond. However, it is not my child growing within his womb.
"Oh?" She coughed and I knew this conversation just dove into a new level of awkward and tense. "Nick, we've known each other for quite a while now." She pretty much stated the obvious.
"I know," I answered.
"I know how you swing, Nick. I mean I've known for a while now. Is he your boyfriend?"
"He is, but that doesn't mean things are the way they seem." I tried to convince her. "Zoe, I would like you to meet my boyfriend, Greg Sanders, Greg this is my cousin Zoe," I properly introduced them. "Zoe, Greg is first and foremost, my roommate. A month back, he went home for the weekend. When he came back, he was disorientated, unable to remember anything he did during the weekend. A week later, he started exhibiting flu-like symptoms. I have reason to believe that Greg was raped, and impregnated."
Whether Zoe knew it or not, I was desperate for her help. Greg sat beside me, nearly scared to death. Several times tonight, I've had to offer my assurances that everything would be all right. Did I know that in the end it was going to be as I hoped? To tell the truth, I don't have a clue how this will end. I look to Zoe, hoping she can see how desperate I am."Please," I pleaded with her. "Greg's only twelve. He doesn't have anyone else to help him through it. Please, Zoe, his father died during labour. He nearly died during labour."
"Nick…""Zoe, I'm desperate. Look at him. Look at him," I cried out. Silence filled the room, and I felt Greg quiver on my side. All I wanted to do just then was pull him close to my body and let him know if nothing else happens this evening, at least he'd have me. I'm not going anywhere. I don't care if Zoe chooses to help me or not.
I positioned myself so that I'm facing him. I looked him straight in the eye. At first, he returned, before his eyes dropped. I wish he wouldn't do that, but I understand it is conditioning. The habit won't disappear over night and nor do I expect it to. I can tell he's frightened though. In the way Greg held his hands clinched tight over his stomach as though he's afraid of the thing growing inside him, or afraid of others harming the growth within.
Zoe's a good person, a good doctor and I know eventually her head will surrender and her heart will take over. All I have to do is hang tough for the both of us. It's taking strength. Strength, right now Greg doesn't have.
"Nick," Zoe's voice cut through the tense silence of the room. "The boy is cursed with the maternal gene. There's nothing I can do to help him. I'm sorry. I truly am," she answered.
"I understand," I stood from my seat. Greg took me by the hand and I meet his eyes looking up at me almost begging me to push onward not to give up this easily. His grip was hard and I knew I had to fight harder for this.
"Please," Greg pleaded with me. I knew then that no matter what happens here tonight, I wasn't giving up without a fight.
Looking toward Zoe, I saw the sadness and regret in her eyes. That's when I saw what Greg was seeing. It wasn't by Zoe's choice to restrain against helping Greg. I can see that now. Dylan stood behind her, his arms folded over his chest, standing fast.
My argument wasn't for Zoe, she was willing to help and risk her live, her career, and everything she held dear for this stranger. She was willing to repay her debt to her cousin. Dylan wasn't keen on letting her throw their life away.
"Come one Greg," I took him by the hand and led him down the hallway.
"Please, don't go," Zoe cried.
"Nick, what are you doing?" Greg argued.
"Trust me," I whispered, giving him a look that told him I know what I'm doing. I take our jackets from the coat rack and place his over his slender shoulders and walked him out to the car. To no surprise, Zoe followed us out. Dylan stood at the door as his wife rushed down the steps to stop us.
"Nick," she gasped out my name, trying to clutch me by the arm. "Please, don't go." Tears ran down her face, her heart finally won over. Unfortunately, I still have to contend with Dylan. I opened the door and place Greg in the passenger's seat.His body's physically shaking, and I know how scared he is. It's never been clearer to my eyes. I try to calm him with my eyes. I don't dare touch him in public. Not since the new mandates were issued forbidding same sex relations to take place. Public or private it didn't matter to them, however if you're stupid enough to touch in public you deserve to be arrested. People thought it was an unenforceable law. However, where there's a bloodthirsty bounty, there's a way. Every night they show a suspected homosexual's house being raided. Mostly, they're just false calls, but every now and then one of them has some merit to it. I feel for those. They are drug down kicking and screaming to the confinement camps.
When I decided to ask Greg out, I knew the dangers of my choice. Our very lives depend on our secrecy. Zoe's livelihood depends upon it. All of ours do. In public, I can't hardly acknowledge him for fear that I might let out too much emotion from just a simple gaze. He sits there scared to death and I can't blame him. I'm scared right now. Not just for me, but also for him and the baby he carries.
"Nick, please…" Zoe begged. "Don't go."
I stopped right there with the driver's door opened.
"I'll do what I can," she whimpered out.
"I'll be back shortly," I whispered to Greg who nodded slightly without returning my gaze. It is best that his body language largely ignore me. I wish it didn't have to be so, but if we are to survive in this world, it must be.
I follow Zoe back in her house and down the steps into her basement. It was chilly and dingy. Zoe never was much of a housekeeper. She hired maids to do that for her.Dylan followed us down and tried to beg his wife not to help us in any way. He even threatened to turn us in if she helped. Zoe protested passionately, threatening to cut off his weenie if he even dared. It was at that point that Dylan hushed up a bit and allowed us to talk.
Zoe sat in a weatherworn chair and sighed.
"I shouldn't be helping him at all," she muttered shaking her head. "However, you did save my life, Nick and for that I do owe you my life. I will agree to help Greg through his pregnancy."
It was music to my ears. However, it was too much to hope that these events would come unconditionally. There were too many risks involved. The chances of being caught were high and the penalties were harsh for anyone aiding one of these special men.
"However, we would have to take certain precautions, to ensure we don't get caught."
"You're going to get caught," Dylan interrupted. "Everyone does."
"Not if we play this smart. Nick, no one else knows he's pregnant do they?"
"No, I don't think so," I shook my head.
"Good," her eyes shut feeling some comfort in knowing we've kept this news tight-lipped. "We will have to create a false identity for Greg, if we are to get his lab work done. Don't worry about the 'Y' chromosome, I will handle the labwork myself, no one needs to know."
"Won't someone notice you running it?" I asked.
"No one will notice. Because I deal with women who have a high chance of having a difficult pregnancy, and I usually run their lab tests for them personally. It will be no different."
"All right, what else?"
"I will need to run a complete and thorough physical on him. I need to know he's healthy. I will want blood tests from him weekly. He's going to protest, as most people would. However, to keep things discrete, we should handle this exchange in casual ways. That way it will be harder to tell what we're doing."
Swallowing my pride, I agreed to her plan of secrecy. I hate the fact that we have to keep our relationship secret. I hate the fact that Greg will have this baby. I wish it never happened. However, now that it has, I'm not going to back down. With Greg on the line, how could I back down?
"There is one more thing," Zoe said. Her voice now was quite uncertain. Before, it was filled with determination and confidence. Now, it was weak. "Not much is known about a maternal male. Especially about the details of how their bodies handle pregnancy."
"What are you saying?" I gulped.
"I'm saying I would like to study Greg through this pregnancy. Maybe, what we discover will help bring about a change for freedom."
I didn't like the idea of that. Not one bit. However, I do understand what could be gained from understanding the maternal male's anatomy. Obviously, somewhere Greg is different from me. Reluctantly, I agree to her unusual request.
It nearly killed me to agree to it though. I hate the idea of Greg being some guinea pig. However, Zoe's right, there is a lot of good that can come out of the understanding of his anatomy. Maybe she's right about this information bringing about freedom for all men.
Zoe and I also agreed that Greg should be hidden away once he's showing past a reasonable explanation. This is not only for our protection, but for his as well. Terrible things happen to those men who are carrying. Incarceration would appear docile as punishment in comparison to the penalties Greg faces.
It's no secret, pregnant men are easy to find. Their bodies take on a unique shape that clearly defines them as carrying child. What's worse is when they are caught while they are carrying child. The penalties against them can be severe. I fear for Greg. Probably a whole lot more than he fears for himself. My entire family is in the legal system. Hell, I have some bounties in the family that would love to cut his throat for the monstrosity that he is to society. I've seen what can happen to these men. I know the risks and I'm still willing to take them. Greg's worth it though.
We came to an agreement and I quickly walked to the car. Seeing him sitting in the passenger seat, his eyes downcast, I instantly wanted to scoop him up into my arms and lay a big wet kiss on him. However, doing so would surely blow our cover.I opened the door and pulled him almost heartlessly in the building. I hope the neighbours can't see behind the false angry front that I've put up. Forcibly, I drug him by the upper arm into the house. He protested along the way. About to curse me out for the harshness of my actions, I let go of him.
"I'm sorry for that," I said quietly. Greg wanted to retort, I saw it in his eyes. He's angry, and I don't blame him. Right now, it's best that he be angry with me. That way no one can see the love I feel for him. The love right now I long to express toward him.
"Yeah," Greg huffed. He didn't believe that.
"I really am," I said just as calmly. "I'm not mad at you Greg, I didn't mean to hurt you or to seem cold toward you. It's just that I'm afraid, Greg."
"Afraid? Why must you fear for me? It's me who's going to end up in the camps, beaten until my body can't hold life any more. Afraid, you have nothing to be afraid about."
He had a point, but he still doesn't see how deep I am into this.
"I'm afraid for you, for me, for my cousin Zoe, Greg. I, I…" I couldn't say it. Our relationship's not ready for me to say the word that's right upon my lips. "I care deeply for you Greg. It would kill me to see them take you away from me. It would kill me to see you hurt like that. Yes, Greg I'm afraid for you. I'm afraid that any of those neighbours out there could be watching us and see right through my act."
Greg stood there for a moment and ogled at me almost as though he couldn't believe the honesty in my voice. Once the door was shut, Greg closed the distance to me and hugged me tight and I knew that he understood.
"Zoe's agreed to help you," I whispered in his ear. He leaned in close to me so I could feel his heart beating hastily through his chest.
"There is one catch though," I mentioned as we headed back into the basement. Reaching the bottom, Zoe flipped the light to expose a cot. Greg turned to me and I hated doing this to him. I hate handing him over so Zoe can study his anatomy. It makes me feel as though I'm using him. I'm not, but it sure as hell feels like I am.
He turned toward me, his eyes filled with fear. "Nick, what's going on?" he asked, his voice quivering slightly. His whole body's shaking and I hold onto him a little tighter.
I looked him straight in the eye, not daring to look anywhere else. "Greg," I sighed. "The only way I could get Zoe to agree to help you out, is if you'll allow her to study your anatomy."
"What if I refuse?" Greg gulped.
"Greg, please," I tried to get him to look at me. Again, his eyes fell to his feet. I'm sure to him this seems like the same old thing, just a different verse. "You need to have someone looking after your health. Zoe's willing to risk everything to help you, but only if you agree to let her examine your anatomy."
Greg looked me straight in the eye. It's one of the few times he's ever dared to look at me so openly. "How do I know she's not going to mutilate me?"
"Because, I'll be with you the entire time."
"Promise?"
"I promise I won't let her do anything that will harm you or the baby."
From his eyes, I could see his thoughts churning. He's thinking about it heavily. At this point, all I can do is hope that he makes the right decision. It wasn't easy for me to agree to this condition, but Zoe insisted.
With on last breath, he nodded his head forward and walked over to the cot. "Let's get this over with," he stated near lifelessly.
Zoe snapped on the rubber gloves and approached the bed. At that moment, I think my heart stopped. I hated seeing Greg go through this. However, under the circumstances, what other choice did I have?
To Be Continued... Reviews are always appreciated.