Disclaimer: See last chapters.

My Secret Valentine

Chapter Ten

She could feel herself sinking quickly, falling deeper and deeper into the depression she had found herself in. Her arms wrapped around her body, her knees drawn to her chest, curled up in a ball beneath her bed covers. Her body shook, sobs escaping her mouth every so often, but other than that, she remained quiet.

Betrayal. It was a funny thing, she thought bitterly, it hurt so badly to know that the whole time she had been craving a mother, that very woman had been kept from her by some stupid contract. She was angry, to say the least. Angry that they had even thought about drawing up a contract for their brand new baby girl, and angry that her mother had the audacity to sign such a pathetic piece of paper. She was angry that one piece of paper had decided if she would be able to have a mother in her life or not. One piece of paper meant so much more than anyone could ever think.

Shelby Corcoran was not a dangerous woman, she was headstrong and stubborn but never dangerous. Which was why Rachel was struggling to come to terms with the contract, and the need for it. Did her parents just wake up one morning and selfishly decide they wanted to keep their daughter to themselves? Did they plan it from the very beginning? Did they suddenly decide when they saw their baby girl cling onto her mother's finger in her first few minutes of life?

She sobbed at the thoughts running through her mind, finding herself only sinking deeper into the state of depression. She wanted to scream, wanted to throw things, and shout, and cry, and hit something or something, she wanted to do something other than lay in her bed and cry. But she just couldn't bring herself to even move. Her body wouldn't co-operate with her own thoughts sometimes. Mostly, she thought it would be best to lay there and accept the pain. Other times, she wanted to get out of the bed so she could smash something.

But she stayed. She stayed in her bed, sleeping and crying, refusing to eat, chucking every single glass of water her dads gave her across the room. Everything was a lie to her now, their whole relationship with her was a lie, every time they told her they loved her, it was a lie. Every damn excuse as to why they couldn't see her perform, why they couldn't go to parent-teacher evenings, it was all just one huge lie.

And Shelby? Well, everything she ever said, did and every look she gave Rachel's way was nothing more than a lie. She had replaced her so easily, with a little girl who looked just like her biological mother, with her father's eyes. A little girl who could light up the room when she was in it. A little girl who meant so much to Rachel's mom. A little girl who would get the relationship Rachel had to miss out on.

She figured that to those who had grown up with a mom in their lives, her depression would seem stupid, silly even. But to her, having a mom had been the basis of her entire life. She had spent her childhood asking her daddies why she never had one, she had spent her childhood getting made fun of for having two daddies, instead of one of each and she had spent her whole childhood watching other children with their mother's, wondering what it would be like. And then puberty came and went, and it was difficult learning through books, because she knew all the other girls would have a mom to talk to about it. She knew that once she became sexually active, she would want a mom to talk to about it. The depression hit her like a ton of bricks because she had spent so long wanting a mom, and she had to learn that her dads had taken that relationship away from her. They had taken away the choice, and they had willingly allowed her to beg them for a mom like all the other children, without telling her that it was their fault her mom had gone away.

She felt a few more tears running down her face, not bothering to wipe them away as she tried to focus on the sadness in Shelby's eyes when Rachel discovered the photograph. Was she sad she had been discovered? That the secret was finally out? Or was she sad because... because she wanted Rachel? She bit down on her lip, ignoring the pain that seemed to ache all over her body as she cried again. She had just wanted a mommy, why did it have to be so much to ask for?

She cried out, in pain this time as a shooting pain shocked her from her state of depression. Her arms wrapped around her stomach as she gasped, barely able to see when she opened her eyes, the tears clouding her vision as she sobbed. She slowly moved, ignoring the pain for a moment as she pulled away the covers. Blood. It was all she could remember. The blood was everywhere. And she screamed. She screamed until her own face had faded away, she could hear her dads in the background but the darkness was taking over.

The blood; there was just so much blood. The voices soon faded, the dim lights she had been able to see once, were gone. And now it was replaced by silence and by darkness. Everything was gone, and she wondered for a second, if she was dying. She had always been one for dramatics, and maybe it was a broken heart she was dying of. It seemed fitting for her, she guessed.

She wondered who would be at her funeral – would they sing? She could only imagine the Harmonies would never be able to sing again, their bodies shaking with sobs as they lose their star singer. Singing would never be the same again. She wanted to smile at her own morbid thoughts, but she was unable to control or feel her body. She could imagine Finn throwing himself on her coffin and Kurt would be dressed in his finest suit as he dabbed at his eyes, waiting until later to cry. Her parents – all three of them – would feel guilty as they read the tombstone; Here lies Rachel Barbara Berry. Just sixteen years old, died of a broken heart.

~ .. ~

Hiram and Leroy Berry were downstairs when they heard the scream. They felt their hearts drop as the scream pierced through the house, the scream of pain and distress coming from their only daughter. They ran up the stairs quicker than either of them had ever run before, bursting into her bedroom only to see her on the verge of unconsciousness, her screams having died down, blood covering the bed. Leroy moved first, phoning an ambulance and Hiram tried to keep the girl awake, tears falling down his face when she gave into the darkness that had taken over her body.

They watched the paramedics, both of them filled with worry as they clung onto each other, "Is there any chance your daughter may be pregnant?" Hiram stared, his eyes wide at the words, the words he would never be able to forget. He had clung to the hope her and Finn had not made it that far into their relationship yet, she had not approached either of them about sex, or losing her virginity – and to be honest, he's unsure if he preferred not knowing. Leroy shook his head, and then nodded, "We uh.. we don't know. She has a boyfriend.. they may..." His words trailed off as he shook his head again, not knowing what to do or say as they watched their daughter be taken away from them.

"We'll follow behind." He finally said, getting into his car before handing the phone to Hiram, "Phone Finn." He muttered, anger flashing in his eyes before he started the car, quickly following behind the ambulance. Hiram could only nod as he dialed the number, tears falling down his face.

~ .. ~

It was almost midnight when his phone rang, and it was just five minutes after that he found himself throwing on some pants and a shirt, running out of the house without wasting anytime. He needed to be with her, especially if it was what her fathers said. He sighed, biting down on his lip as he drove quickly, not caring about speed limits, only needing to be with his girl.

He found himself running into the hospital quicker than he ever thought possible, screaming at a nurse or someone to help him, to tell him where Rachel was. He needed to hold her, he needed to let her know how sorry he was, he needed to hold her while she cried and he needed to let her know that he was always going to be there. He closed his eyes tight, trying to suppress his emotions as he searched for her.

He sighed in relief at the sight of her dads, not even caring how angry they may be at him as he ran to them, "Is she okay? Is she awake? What happened?" He took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair as he desperately looked at the two men in front of him, both of them shaking their head.

"She had a miscarriage. They're going to keep her in overnight.. she woke up but.. when she found out.. she was upset.. she was asking for you." He gave them both a small, nervous nod before making his way into the room. He felt the tears wetting his cheeks already as he made his way over to the small, fragile girl in the middle of the room, her face so pale, he could have easily mistaken her for someone else.

He held her hand tight as he watched her cry, his own tears falling onto her forehead when he leaned over her, "I love you so much, this is not your fault baby, okay?" She shook her head, looking at him in complete horror,

"I-I.. I forgot.. with everything going on, I forgot to go get my contraception topped up. I'm so stupid, this is all my fault and I don't know what to do." She sobbed harder and shook her head, "I'm such a horrible person." Finn sighed, climbing onto the bed to bring the shaking, crying girl into his chest, rubbing her back as he hushed her. He didn't know what to say, he knew he was to blame as well – but were either of them truly ready to have a child? They loved each other, there was no denying that, but they were both still in school, they both had dreams bigger than this town.

He kissed her forehead, "It just wasn't meant to be. We'll always remember, but it wasn't mean to be. Me and you.. we're meant to go to New York, go to college, you'll be on Broadway and I'll be a teacher.. we'll get married, and we'll have kids. It's the way it's supposed to be." He gave her a small smile when she finally calmed down, his fingers running through her hair as he took a deep breath.

"Baby, you need to be okay.. you need to talk to your parents. You need to tell them what you want, and what you need. You need to sort this out.." He whispered, holding her closer, "I love you and it hurts to see you hurting, so please.. when you get out of hospital, you have to sort all this out." She gave him a small nod, and a reassuring squeeze of his hand as she closed her eyes tight.

"Thank you." She murmured, pressing her smaller body against his, "You just walked in here and in a matter of moments, you made me feel better. I'm sorry for pushing you away before." He shook his head and traced a heart on her shoulder, smiling,

"Anytime, babe.. I love you and you must never forget that." She gave him the smallest of nods, exhaustion taking over as she felt herself slowly falling asleep, not wanting to let go of him. "I love you too." She muttered, before she fell asleep, leaving Finn alone with his thoughts, tears falling down as his face as he mourned the baby he would never get to meet.