Dark Paradise – Chapter 10
"Uh…hello," he stammered just to let Reese know he was there. Just in case she'd forgotten (in the four minutes since he'd last seen her). It had to be a mistake, her coming in the bathroom while he was in the shower.
She did not respond. Instead he heard the clink of porcelain on porcelain as she lowered the toilet seat and settled in for what promised to be an interesting interrogation. He pulled the curtain back and peeked a look at her.
She looked up and her countenance was strange to him. She was no longer angry, nor was she happy, instead she appeared resigned.
"Wanna tell me what you're doing in here?" he questioned cautiously. Clearly, she did not intend to climb in the shower with him, despite his many fantasies along those lines.
"Simple," she told him. "There's no where else for you to run to in here."
"I'm not…" he began and then out of respect for her dropped the pretense. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I tried not to…I even…." He threw up a series of excuses for why they couldn't, why they shouldn't….but they sounded weak even to his ears.
"Crews, do you love me?" she asked directly.
He was stunned for a moment at the directness of her question, but he recovered quickly. If Reese wanted to have this talk, then have it they would. "Yes," he gave her the truth and let her see it.
"Why?" Her tone told him she couldn't really accept it until he could explain it.
The problem was – he couldn't. He knew better than to lie to her. "I'm not entirely sure."
"Then how do you know it's real?" she questioned his conclusion.
"I just know," he replied. His answer gave no greater clarity. "Do you believe me?"
She mulled his non-answer. She had experienced a similar epiphany about him at the FBI. She just "knew" he wasn't who or what they thought and that was why she chose to go back to her partner and not as an FBI snitch. Some things you just know. She sighed and looked down, understanding that some things are unexplainable.
"I do. Why else would you have gotten into that SUV?"
"I don't know where we go from here," he ventured. "And I don't think you feel the same way," he began.
"Don't be so sure you know everything," she cautioned giving him hope beyond words.
"I'm not sure I know - anything," he joked.
She looked up and his smile was soft and real. It was a surreal situation. For once there was a naked man in her bathroom, one who'd just spent the night in her bed. They hadn't had sex, nor were they about to and she wasn't crazy about the idea of him going back to his home and not being there when she woke up tomorrow. It was unlike anything she'd ever experienced.
"I still think you're a weirdo," she reminded.
"Yes," he agreed. "Not that much has changed."
"Would you like me to leave now?" she offered.
"You don't really want me to say what I'd like," he teased. She looked up at him through long dark lashes. A hint of a smile played against her features. She was fighting the urge to flirt back.
His eyes held hers and neither spoke for a long time. Steam gathered. He thought about turning the water off, but then it would just be quiet. But Reese wasn't quite done yet. "Why haven't you….does this? Do I… scare you?" she wondered.
"No. I'm only afraid of hurting you or putting you in the middle of something dangerous. Honestly, I don't think that I'm very good for you," he explained his reluctance to pursue what he desperately wanted.
Several times in the past twenty four hours he'd had to think hard about indulging his desire to touch her and balance it against what he knew was better or safer for her. She knew he desired her, she just didn't know the strength of his will power.
"Don't you think that's for me to decide?"
There was no right answer to that, so he said nothing at all. She stood and for a moment he thought she was going to leave and the thought of her walking out terrified him.
"Do you feel…" he began and her eyes told him she did, but she was nowhere ready to say those words.
"I don't know. I think…maybe…," she stopped talking, but he knew there was more so he waited and she rewarded his patience. "I really had no idea how much I had come to rely on you, to trust you. Then when I was at the FBI and later when Roman had me…" she shook her head in shame or denial.
"I didn't miss Tidwell, I missed you." He knew this confession was a big deal for her and he waited patiently, though he was clearly very pleased at this development.
"I didn't expect that he would come," she paused collecting herself, "but I knew…with a certainty that I no longer thought possible...that you would." There she'd said it, she admitted what she'd told her mother; that it was Crews, not Tidwell who held her trust, her confidence and perhaps even her affection.
"I will always come for you. You're my partner," he replied softly as if those few words explained everything he'd done.
She grimaced at the reminder of a painful truth. "Tidwell says we aren't partners anymore. He says we won't ever be again. Even if, by some miracle, you get your badge back, they intend to split us up" she recounted the Captain's assertion that LAPD was determined to split them up if they couldn't prevent Crews from working there ever again.
"I'll always be your partner, Dani," his voice was low and husky. "It may not be at work, but I'll always be your partner. You know that don't you?"
She kept looking down, but she nodded and smiled.
"When the idea that I might not see you again sunk through my thick skull, I couldn't accept it. I still have trouble believing how quickly I went from simply caring to this." He told her his fears.
"Then you know where I am," she offered shyly.
"Hey," he pulled her eyes back to him. "Reese, I'm scared too. You and me? We are too important to risk."
"Yeah," she agreed. That was their agreement. The one they both needed to continue. But he needed a little bit more.
"But Reese?" he questioned as she stood to leave. "You're done seeing Tidwell right?"
"Yes, Crews I'm done seeing Tidwell," that made her smile broaden. She enjoyed seeing his little sliver of envy and territoriality. "Also you have about 90 seconds of hot water left, so enjoy that," she grinned and walked out shutting the door.
He looked skyward and groaned as he felt the coldness in the water growing. She really did have a mean streak.