Baby you have become my addiction,
I'm strung out, I can barely move
But I like it and it's all because of you.
It's all because of you.
*Austin's POV*
I wanted her, I wanted to love her but I don't think I can. I think I love her but how can I love someone when I can't love myself. I hate myself for hurting her but I couldn't help it. My stupid pride and I rather put strange substances into our body than tell someone what was up. I didn't want to look weak in front of anybody especially Ally.
I coughed under the cold sunset. My head was aching and my throat was burning. I longed to be at my old home in the warmth and heat. But I couldn't bear go back there and face my parents.
Ally's voice echoed through my head, her breathing, the movement of her lips on my lips that made them tingle. Her body felt so good against mine. I remembered the feel of her soft skin, her silky hair and her full lips. How can something so good and pure love something so bad and troublesome? I'm addicted to her, she's like a drug. She soothes me and calms me down but she also gives me a rush of excitement. But once I was away from her I fell fast from her high back to the state I'm in now.
I pulled out a bag filled with a harsh white powder. I pour it out and straighten it out with a raser blade. I breathe in the burning powder. My nose felt like it was on fire, I itched at it waiting for it to stop. Then I felt an insect crawling under my skin, one at first then dozens, hundreds, thousands. I crawled at my arms, attacking my own skin. Blood poured out of my arm like water. I scratched at my head, pulling chucks of hair out in the process. I screamed but it was mute. The insects spread all over my body. I wanted it to stop. My skin opened so easily under my raging fingernails now encrusted with blood. I screamed and cried out until my throat was raw and horse. I felt like I was drowning in a crimson sea and I couldn't get back up.
I woke up to a burning sun in the middle of an alleyway. My skin itched and hurt so much. I got blurry and hazy flashbacks of last night. But I couldn't remember much of what happened. My hands were stiff and tight with dry blood. I couldn't breathe through my nose without it burning. I choked and coughed as my heart banged against my chest. "Oh my God." My voice surprised me, it was hardly audible and hurt like hell.
My phone buzzed against my pocket, I picked it up and answered it. "Hello?" I choked on my words as my voice was going. "Austin, we need to talk." Ally sounded stressed and neutral.