"This is a great party Cas, Dean." Garth slurred over his words as he hung off of Dean's shoulder for the fourth time tonight. He was absolutely shit faced, as were most of the party guests, and Dean just laughed.
"Thank you Garth. It's a great way to say good bye to my twenties isn't it?" Cas said happily looking around their crowded apartment. All of their friends were there and the place was bright with streamers and balloons.
"Hey Jo, bet I can beat ya!" Garth called to the blonde haired girl who was winning arm wrestling matches and winning beer money for the week. Garth wandered away rocking from side to side and Dean chuckled.
"It really is a great party babe." Cas sighed happily and kissed Dean on the cheek sloppily.
"Only the best for my man." Dean pulled Cas into his arms. There was less of his love to hold these days but Dean cherished every scrawny inch of his body. He had loved Castiel for almost twenty years and he would love him for twenty more if God willed it.
"I have one more surprise for you babe." Dean said as Sam shushed everyone and flicked off most of the lights. Before Cas could ask any questions everyone was picking up Happy Birthday and Gabriel was struggling to carry in a very large, very bright, birthday cake. Cas gasped as Gabe wobbled a bit before placing the cake on their dining room table and stepping back with a wink to his baby brother.
"Make a wish." Dean nudged his boyfriend towards the mountain of flames and icing. Grinning his large toothy grin Cas leaned over and blew out all the candles. Everyone cheered and crowded around for a slice of cake made by Gabriel. As Dean watched Cas made his way through the crowd saying hello and thank you to each and every one of their friends. He was beaming, his pale sallow skin looking flushed for once. Dean worried about that but he knew Cas hadn't had anything to drink tonight. His meds wouldn't allow it.
The clock on the mantle chimed for midnight but Dean knew the party was far from over. Gather a group of 20-somethings all in one place for a few drinks and there was no way anyone was leaving before dawn.
"I've got a surprise for you too babe." Cas said finally making his way to Dean. He grabbed on to his hand and pulled him towards the balcony. Outside he moved to the staircase that led to the upstairs patio. Dean's eyes widened at the massive amount of pillows and blankets piled on to the roof top.
"Come on, we can snuggle." Cas pulled Dean along grinning at him proudly.
"How in the hell did you get all these up here?" Dean asked Cas laughing as he burrowed in to the pile and pulled Dean in with him.
"Sammy helped." Cas shrugged. He managed to worm them around until he was snuggled on Dean's chest. The bare weight of him made Dean's heart ache. He remembered when Cas was lean and strong with runner's muscles.
"So you already knew you wanted to run out on your own birthday party?" Dean chuckled against Cas's dark hair.
"I have many plans Mr. Winchester." Cas said in his horrible Russian accent. Dean laughed and pulled his face up for a kiss. It was meant to be loving and soft but quickly turned in to desire. Teeth nipped at lips, hands groped at clothing and soon Cas was straddling Dean's waist.
"Cas, baby…" Dean started to protest.
"Shut up Dean, its been too long." Cas scolded his love. And it had been, it had been weeks since Cas had had the energy to do more then weakly kiss his boyfriend. But now, now he would make up for that. He pinned Dean into the nest of blankets and pillows and showed him just how much he had missed the intimacy. He made love to Dean, he made sure to touch every inch of bare skin he could reach and he made sure to whisper all of his love in to Dean's ears and he held him close.
When they were both finally spent Dean lay over his boyfriend and panted. Cas had his arms around his shoulders tightly and Dean couldn't really move much. But he didn't mind at all.
"Where did that come from baby?" Dean panted against Cas's shoulder as Cas's fingers trailed lazy designs over Dean's smooth muscled back.
"I wanted to go out with a bang." Cas said and Dean thought he heard a slight slur to his voice.
"What are you talking about?" Dean asked grinning and finally looking Cas in the eye. To his horror the bright blue was glassy and Cas wasn't focusing on him at all.
"Cas? Cas whats wrong?" Dean demanded trying to sit up but Cas's arms just locked behind him and held him close.
"I made my choice Dean." Cas said rolling his eyes around so that he could look at Dean. As Dean lay there on top of Cas he could feel his body going loose in under him.
"What have you done Cas?" Dean asked sitting back and pulling Cas in to his lap. His boyfriend went limply along and gave Dean a weak grin.
"Doctor assisted Dean. I met with Doc Barnes this week. She gave me something." Cas slurred. He was entirely loose in Dean's arms and Dean held him close.
"Cas, no baby no. Tell me you didn't." Dean begged as Cas's head lolled in his arms.
"I'm tired Dean, so tired." Cas replied looking up at the night sky.
"Don't do this to me baby, don't leave me like this." Dean's cheeks were covered in falling tears and Cas weakly lifted his hand up to wipe one away.
"Its for you Dean, its all for you. You deserve to be happy." He whispered as Dean leaned down to press his forehead against Cas's.
"You selfish miserable bastard." Dean sobbed as Cas's blinks became longer.
"Yes, I guess I am." Cas said and gave Dean a weak grin.
"I love you Castiel, I can't do this without you baby." Dean whispered in Cas's ear.
"You're strong Dean, much stronger then you let yourself believe. You'll go on." Cas sighed. He rolled his head so that he could press his cold lips to Dean's.
"I don't want to be alone Cas." Dean sobbed.
"Then don't be. Promise me that Dean, promise me you won't be alone." Cas insisted and eventually Dean nodded his agreement even if it was all a lie.
"I love you Dean Winchester, I always have." Cas sighed out. Dean sobbed and held on to the man he loved more then life itself. He pinned Cas against his chest and even long after he felt Cas let out his last breath he refused to let him go.
It was sunrise before Sam came and found him in his blanket nest still holding Cas's body to his chest. Sam sobbed as he wrapped his brother in his arms and tried to offer any comfort he could.