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I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Criminals
Give A Little, Take A Lot

It took two weeks back at school before James spoke one word to Sirius. It was like he was non-existent in James's world. Sirius hated it. He hated the fact that he had just been through so much with his family and James didn't have the decency to say "I'm sorry" or "you'll be okay". He could see a sort of battle going on behind James's eyes. It seemed that he desperately wanted to comfort Sirius, but at the same time he was trying to adjust to him being gay.

When the time finally came that James spoke to him, Sirius was more relieved than angry that James had not been talking to him for so long.

"Sirius, can I… er… have a word?"

Sirius looked up from the schoolwork he was doing – schoolwork – which was unusual for him, and tried not to smile. He followed James out of the dorm and into the Gryffindor common room so they could speak. They sat down on the sofa and James cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking guilty. "I should have been there for you when… you know."

"It's alright," Sirius replied with a smile. "And I'm sorry too. I should have never kissed you."

"Yeah," James said, flushing. "Huh. Um, this feels awkward. Can we just not talk about that?"

"Honestly, James, this is the only thing I'll say on the matter – I don't fancy you in that way. I don't know what I was thinking. It will never happen again, I promise," Sirius said apologetically.

James smiled. "Good. So, are you okay?"

"I'm… coping," Sirius lied. In reality, the repercussions of leaving his family behind had mentally scarred him. He hated the fact that this was happening because he hated his family, and they shouldn't have this much power over his emotions.

Every night he'd wake up in a cold sweat after nightmares of his parents' torturing. He'd see their faces, and hear their voices, and cry himself back to sleep. He hated to admit it. In fact, he wouldn't admit it. Every night, he'd cast a silencing charm over his bed so his friends wouldn't hear his violent sobs that eventually quietened down in the early hours of the morning.

James raised his eyebrows at Sirius. "I don't believe that for one second, mate."

Sirius sighed. "It's… complicated. It's a delicate situation for me. It all happened too recently for me to talk about my feelings about it."

James put a comforting hand on Sirius's shoulder. "I wanted to let you know that my folks are happy to let you stay with us till we finish seventh year."

Sirius felt like his heart would leap out of his chest. He didn't know what to say. Instead he smiled like an idiot and pulled James into a tight embrace. He felt James relax.

"We can spend the whole of the holidays planning pranks," Sirius said, eyes brightening for the first time in days – weeks, even. They pulled out of the embrace, and Sirius grinned at James.

"They'll be the best damned pranks that Hogwarts has ever seen," James agreed.

"And we'll get Lily to fall in love with you."

"Now we're talking," James grinned. "But, for the record, Lily is in love with me already. She just doesn't know it yet."

"You keep telling yourself that, mate."

"Oh, I will," James said. "Actually, come with me to look for her, will you?"

"Are you going to ask her out again? That ended badly last time I checked."

"I'll be more gentlemanly this time," James reassured.

Sirius raised his eyebrows and his lips quirked up a little. "Gentlemanly?"

"Yes. I won't use any vulgar terms. I'll even give her a flower if I must."

"Wow," Sirius said, impressed. "It's like a new you."

"Where's the Marauder's Map?"

Ten minutes later and they were standing one corridor down from where James and Sirius had seen Lily on the Marauder's Map. Unfortunately, the map had told them that she was with Severus Snape.

"You distract Snivelly," James whispered.

"What shall I do?"

"Call him 'Snivelly' and then hex the bastard."

"Sounds like fun," Sirius said. "Good luck, James."

They turned around the corner and Snape and Lily turned around when they heard the footsteps.

"Evans," James said, his voice going an octave deeper. Sirius tried not to laugh.

Lily sighed. "Yes, Potter?"

"May I have a word with you?"

"No, she can't," Snape butted in, scowling.

"I can speak for myself, Sev," Lily scolded him. She turned her attention back to James and folded her arms.

"Why should I?"

"Because," James said. "Erm, I just... please?"

"Since you said please," Lily said. "I suppose we can talk. I'll be back in a minute, Sev."

Snape looked as though he'd been slapped hard in the face. He watched angrily as Lily walked off with James, and then he glared at Sirius.

"What are you looking at, Snivelly?" Sirius spat.

"I thought we had an agreement?"

"That agreement ceased when I outed myself. You have no leverage now, Snivellus."

Snape's glare turned into a smirk, which unsettled Sirius a little. What on Earth was he up to?

"Well, your little stunt had some consequences," Snape said. "I despise that ridiculous name you call me, and I despise Potter. Nothing means more to me than Lily, and all I asked was for you simply stop Potter from getting to her first and what happens? They're off talking right now."

Sirius sighed. "Why is everyone so in love with Evans anyway?"

"Everyone?"

"Never mind," Sirius said, thinking about what Remus had said to him over half term about his own feelings for Lily. "You said some rubbish about consequences?"

"Yes," Snape's smirk reappeared. "You hurt me, so it's only fair that I hurt you back."

"What have you done?" Sirius growled.

"Did you know that your brother has gone completely off the rails?" Snape said.

Sirius was confused. "What are you talking about, Snivelly? Spit it out!"

"On the first day back after half term I caught him cutting his wrists."

Sirius went pale. Regulus was... hurting himself? How could he – why would he?

"You're lying."

"Hardly," Snape continued, with a gleeful expression. "Anyways, I helped him through it. I told him that it's completely okay and that he's doing the right thing. He's amazing, your brother. Hangs on my every word. I tell him to jump, he asks how high."

Sirius was angry. No, anger wasn't what he was feeling. It was fury. How dare he? Regulus was vulnerable. He had so much going on at home, so much stress. How dare he take advantage of him like that?

Sirius pulled his wand out in an instant and shoved Snape up against the wall, touching the tip of his wand to the Slytherin's neck. He stared straight into Snape's dark eyes. He had never felt so much hatred towards anyone, apart from his parents. He wanted to...

No, Sirius. It's not worth it. Leave it. You'll get in trouble.

He wanted to hurt Snape. Really hurt him. Then it hit him like a train. It was like a lightbulb lighting up in his brain like from the muggle cartoons Peter had forced him to watch one Summer.

He had the perfect way to hurt Snape.

"Tonight," Sirius spat, making Snape wince. "There's a knot at the bottom of the Whomping Willow. Press it with a stick to freeze the branches. Meet me there at the end of the secret passageway. Ten o'clock. You'll get Lily."

Snape looked as though all of his Christmases had come at once.

"Don't make me regret it," Sirius said, releasing him and stalking off in the opposite direction. Before he had time to react, James was flung across the corridor in front of him followed by a red-faced Lily Evans.

She glared at Sirius as she walked past.

Sirius rushed to grab James, who looked shocked. "I-ugh-why am I so bad at this 'wooing' thing?"

Sirius smiled sadly. "What'd you say this time?"

"I said she doesn't need wiingardium leviosa to make my wand rise."

Sirius sniggered. "No wonder you were flung across the corridor."

"She slapped me," James said sadly. "And then I told her I was sorry. I came up with a good one, though. I said to her that I was placed into Gryffindor because like Godric Gryffindor, I have an impressive sword."

"James," Sirius rolled his eyes. "You're hopeless."

"I know," James sulked.

"Look, mind if I take the map? I have to look for my brother," Sirius said.

James handed him the map. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, try not to get killed by Evans," Sirius said.

He opened the map. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said. The map revealed itself, showing the whole of Hogwarts and hundreds of tiny named dots. He scanned the map for Regulus. Finally, he spotted him down towards the bottom of the map, by the Quidditch pitch. Alone.

Sirius felt a flash of dread run through him as he thought of what Regulus could be doing.

He broke into a run towards the Quidditch pitch. It was a long run, but Sirius didn't care. He hated the thought of Regulus hurting himself.

When he finally neared the Quidditch pitch he slowed down, clutching his side from where he'd gotten a stitch from the running. He was panting loudly, trying to catch his breath when he spotted Regulus sitting on the grass, wrapped up with his scarf and winter cloak.

He looked so small. So insignificant. Sirius's heart ached. How could Snape be so cruel?

Sirius silently sat down next to him.

"Hi."

Regulus jumped at Sirius's voice. He obviously hadn't heard him approaching. "Sirius. What are you doing out here in the cold?"

"I could ask you the same," Sirius said, trying to keep his voice calm. He wanted desperately to pull back the sleeves of Regulus's cloak. He needed to know.

"I just... wanted to think."

Sirius sighed. He needed to ask. He needed to.

"Reg," he said softly. "Please lift your sleeves up."

Regulus's reaction confirmed that Snape had been telling the truth. His eyes became frantic and his face grew pale. He instinctively pulled his sleeves down further and his breathing quickened.

"N-no, Sirius."

"Please?"

"No!" Regulus stood up. Sirius grabbed him and pulled him back down to the ground, looking into his eyes.

"Look at me," Sirius said, softly once more. Regulus still wasn't looking. His eyes kept darting around, looking for some sort of escape.

"Let me go," Regulus pleaded, finally looking into Sirius's eyes with tears. "Please let me go, Sirius."

Sirius hated to do it, but he reached for Regulus's sleeve and before the younger boy could react, he wrenched it up his arm.

He let out a gasp when he saw his brother's arm. There wasn't an inch of his skin that wasn't scarred. It reminded him of the first time he saw Remus's scars. This was different. This was self inflicted – it was deliberate. He bit his lip and tried to think of something – anything – to say.

Some of the scars were old, but others looked fresh, like he'd only cut himself today.

"Please just forget it," Regulus said, pulling his sleeve back down. The tears were now running down his face.

Sirius frowned as he watched a tear roll over his brother's cheek and then down the side of his face. Regulus looked different. He was... sick-looking. He hadn't noticed till now.

"Have you been eating properly?" Sirius asked, after realising how skinny Regulus was getting.

"Of c-course," Regulus said. Sirius knew this was a lie.

"You look like a... a skeleton," Sirius said. "Why would you do this to yourself?"

Regulus looked down at his hands and his lips quivered again like a new flood of tears would flow down his face. "I... it h-helps m-me."

"How does hurting yourself help you?" Sirius asked, desperate to understand.

"It g-gets rid of the pain," Regulus said. "It gets rid of the emotions."

"You can't keep doing this," Sirius said firmly. "I refuse to allow you to do this."

"Sirius, please. It's my life."

"I don't care," Sirius said. "I won't let you hurt yourself."

"Why do you even care?" Regulus said, his voice breaking a little. "I don't understand."

"Because you're my brother," Sirius said, his heart breaking at the look on Regulus's face. "Because I love you."

Regulus swallowed and looked away. "I'm not worth your love."

"Yes, you are. You're worth every bit. If anything ever happened to you-"

"-Just stop," Regulus replied, wiping his eyes. "I see the way you're looking at me. Like I'm some confused kid who is trying to kill himself. I'm n-not a kid, and I'm not trying to k-kill myself, okay. It helps me through my pain. That's all. I don't want to see that look in your eyes."

"What look?"

"That pitiful look," Regulus said. "It makes me feel bad for what I'm doing. It's th-therapeutic."

"Who told you that?" Sirius spat angrily. "Severus Snape?"

"Yes," Regulus looked confused. "How did you know?"

"He's messing with you! He's messing with me by getting to you. Reg, it's not a good thing. It's a very serious thing. Please, stop. Please, for me. It hurts me to see you like this."

"I don't think I c-c-can," Regulus stuttered.

"And please eat properly."

"I can't keep anything down."

"Reg, I'm going to find someone to help you," Sirius promised. "A therapist. Someone who deals with things like this. You need help, trust me."

Regulus sighed and banged the back of his head against the Quidditch stand. In frustration. "I. Don't. Need. Help."

"You do," Sirius replied, smiling sadly at him. "I promise I'll help you."

"If you say so, Sirius," Regulus said, staring straight ahead. "It won't work."

"Give me a few days, alright?" Sirius said, feeling a little more hopeful.

"Okay."

"And I promise I'll help you with what's going on at home," Sirius said.

Regulus let out a hoarse laugh and shook his head. "Good luck with that."

Sirius placed his hand on Regulus's shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. "Hold on."

Regulus smiled slightly at him. "Thank you for caring, Sirius."

"Of course I care," Sirius replied, standing up. "Now, it's getting dark. I should really get back to my dorm. Be safe."

Regulus nodded as Sirius headed off back to the castle.

When he got back to the dormitory, Remus was sitting on Sirius's bed. James and Peter weren't there.

"Hey, Remus."

"Sirius," Remus croaked. He was pale and clammy and he looked exhausted. It was the Full Moon tonight. He was always this way before the Full Moon.

Sirius sat down next to him. "What's up, Rem?"

"What I told you," Remus said quietly. "About Lily."

Sirius nodded wordlessly.

"She told me she's falling in love with me," Remus whispered. He didn't look happy about it like Sirius would have imagined. He looked awful.

"That's great!" Sirius said.

"I feel like a terrible person," Remus said. "James... he's my best friend... he loves her. It's not fair."

"Like you said, it's not fair on you either."

"I don't know what to do," Remus admitting, sagging forwards. "I love her."

Sirius smiled a sympathetic smiled and placed his hand on Remus's back. You'll figure it out, man. I know you will. You're smart like that."

Remus nodded. "You won't tell James, will you?"

"Of course not."

"Thanks, Sirius."

"For what?"

"For just being such a good friend," Remus smiled. "You're always there for me. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome," Sirius smiled.

It wasn't until about nine o'clock that James appeared in the dorm. He and Peter had been out to Hogsmeade with the invisibility cloak, smuggling in some Firewhisky.

"The moon's up," Peter commented.

"I hope he's not tearing himself up too much," James said sadly. "I wish we could do something."

"Only a few more hours."

They helped Remus every Full Moon by transforming into their animagus forms, but they always had to wait a couple of hours before going down because when Remus first transformed, he was very dangerous. Even to animals.

Sirius thought of how much pain Remus must go through. The werewolf's bloodlust caused him to tear himself apart because of the lack of human blood around him. He would wake up every morning after the Full Moon with scratches all over his torso and he'd have to spend at least two days in the hospital wing.

Then Sirius remembered.

Shit.

"Sirius, mate, are you alright?" James said, observing Sirius's swaying body.

"Snape."

"What about him?" Peter asked.

"I... crap... guys, I did something bad."

"What?" James asked, alarmed.

Sirius sighed and stared out the window at the moon. "I told Snape about the secret passageway under the Whomping Willow. I told him to meet me there. I wasn't thinking. I was angry."

"SIRIUS!" James screamed. "How could you do something so stupid!?"

"I... crap. James – where are you going?"

"To save his bloody life. And Remus. He'll hate himself forever if he ever hurt anyone."

James bolted from the room, leaving Sirius and Peter standing there in shocked silence. Then, they both ran after him frantically.

When they reached the Whomping Willow, Snape was nowhere to be seen but the branches of the tree were frozen. Sirius stopped and grabbed Peter, causing him to stop. "Listen," he said.

He could hear screaming. He could hear yelling. Sirius ran down into the secret passageway.

"SIRIUS, PETER, RUN!" James yelled. Sirius noticed him in the darkness, limping towards them.

Sirius rushed forwards to help James, and he realised that Snape he was carrying Snape with much difficulty. The Slytherin was smeared with blood and seemed to be knocked out.

Was he... dead?

Sirius felt like he was going to throw up. How could he have been so stupid? His mouth went completely dry when he realised that behind James there were noised echoing off the walls.

The sounds were of running. The sounds were of growls.

Then, he spotted two bright red eyes emerging from the darkness and he ran. He ran and ran and didn't stop until he heard the branches of the Whomping Willow swooshing and swooping again.

He collapsed onto the floor. James ran up towards the castle with Snape still in his arms.

Peter was about to follow, but Sirius stopped him.

"Let him go," he said. "We need to be here for Remus when it's safe."

Peter nodded. Sirius sighed and closed his eyes as he waited for the moon to reach a position in the sky where he knew they'd be safe to go in.

He really was going to have to pay for this.

He dreaded it. And moreover, Remus would hate him. Possibly forever.

He couldn't deal with that. Not after Remus had just called him a good friend.

This was going to be a long night.

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