Chapter 10
Pearl Harbor
In her quarters, Kristin licked the last bit of chocolate pudding off her spoon when she received a knock on her door. Her brow furrowed in question, wondering who it could be at this hour as she moved to open it. "Nathan?" she said when she saw him.
He pushed past her, not bothering to wait for her to invite him inside. "Just what did you mean when you said you were checking back there?"
She closed the door behind him and then crossed her arms over her chest. "It means I need to do some reassessing, some think-" Her words were cut off when Nathan pressed his lips to hers. "Mmm."
After a few moments, he broke the kiss, still holding her in his arms. "What was it you were saying?" he asked softly, moving to nibble on her earlobe.
She gasped. "I…I've suddenly forgot- oh!"
"That's what I thought you'd say," he told her, trailing gentle kisses down hollow of her throat before capturing her lips once again.
"Oh, Nathan," she moaned in between kisses. "I…I've wanted this for so long."
"Me, too, my darling," he confirmed, ushering her to the bunk and gently pushing her down. He kissed her once again. "What is it you want exactly?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
She laughed softly. "I think you know the answer to that."
"I want you to say it."
She brought her lips to his ear and whispered, "Love me, please."
"For the rest of our lives, darling," he replied.
"Oh, Nathan," Kristin muttered in her sleep. "Please…don't stop."
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Kristin suddenly found herself in the ward room, crying with the others.
"I just can't believe he's gone," Katie muttered, her voice trembling. Ben placed his arm around her in a gesture of support.
Quiet tears slipped down Kristin's cheeks as Jonathan suggested they take the rest of the day off to grieve, to recover.
As she entered her quarters, Kristin lost it, breaking down completely as soft sobs escaped her. Suddenly, she felt gentle hands on her trembling shoulders, causing her to jump.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you."
She turned to look in his direction, her eyes growing wide as a hand rose to her mouth. "Na-Nathan? We thought…"
"You didn't think I'd leave without saying goodbye, did you?"
"Goodbye?" she choked out, her tears still flowing. "Why?"
"I know it's hard for you to understand, but I have to go," Nathan said, moving a hand to brush her cheek and wiping a tear away with his thumb. "Don't cry, sweetheart, please."
She shook her head. "I…I can't do this without you."
He moved to wrap his arms around her. "Yes, you can. You're stronger than you think."
"I don't want you to go," she cried into his shoulder.
He simply nodded, rubbing her back and whispering comforting words to her in low tones. They stayed that way for what seemed like a very long time as Kristin's cries finally quieted.
Much to her dismay, however, he finally broke the hug. "I'm sorry I can't stay."
"Please, don't do this." Her voice was barely above a whisper as tears threatened to fall once again.
"If I had a choice, I would never leave you."
"Then, don't!" she begged. "Please?"
"I'm sorry; I wish I could stay. You have to know that." He hesitated for a moment and then placed a hand under her chin and lifted gently. "I'll always love you; remember that."
"Nathan, no..."
"I have to go," he told her as he suddenly disappeared into thin air. Yet somehow, she heard him say, "You're going to be just fine. I know it."
She shook her head in disbelief, unsure if she'd imagined it. She ran a hand through her hair, looking around in all directions, searching for any sign of him.
After a moment, she spotted something out of the corner of her eye: a red rose lying on the floor with a note attached. She knew it wasn't there before. Had he dropped it?
She moved to pick it up, reading the note. It read: Please, don't cry for me. I'll be fine, and so will you. We'll meet again one day.
She sighed, clutching the note to her chest. She tried to hold the tears in, but to no avail. "Nathan? Oh, Nathan, please…"
"No, Nathan, please…don't leave," she mumbled as she tossed and turned. "Please?" she cried softly. "No, don't-"
Her voice caught in her throat as she instantly sat up, tears still flowing and breathing heavily. "Oh, Nathan…" She felt a shiver creep down her spine at the thought of him. The dream had seemed so real; she could still feel her skin burning from where he had touched her.
Sobs wracked her small frame at the haunting memory of it all, and she covered her mouth with her hand to quiet them. After several minutes, however, she had the nagging sensation that she ought to look at the clock. When she did, she realized she hadn't time to cry in bed. It was half past six, and she had to figure something out for breakfast. She forced herself out of bed when she realized she heard voices.
A low gasp escaped her throat as she wiped at her eyes. Lucas was awake already. She assumed he'd been watching television. Had he heard her? She shook her head, wringing her hands in worry. If he had, he probably would have knocked to check on her, she decided. They were both still upset about what had happened, but she didn't want to spend her days crying about it…at least not in front of him. She had figured if they were going to get through this, she had to be strong, no matter how weak she felt inside. However, despite her best efforts to stop, a few more defiant tears ran down her cheeks.
"You need to stop this," she whispered to herself. "It was just a dream. There's no need for drama. You have too much to do to-"
"Lucas, how do you like your eggs?"
Kristin stopped short. That voice sounded so familiar… The voices weren't coming from the vid-screen after all.
"Over easy is fine," Lucas replied. "What about the doc? Do you think we should wake her?"
Before an answer could be given, Kristin threw on her robe and opened the door. "I'm awake," she muttered quietly before making a bee-line for the bathroom to splash some cool water on her face and then check her appearance in the mirror so that no one would be able to tell she'd been crying.
"I do wish you'd have woken me, though," she said to Lucas before turning to their guest. As suspected, Ben was cooking over the stove. "This is a surprise." She sounded less than enthusiastic, however.
Ben gave her a sheepish grin. "Yeah, uh, sorry. You see…"
"Ben called about an hour ago," Lucas told her. "He wanted to speak with you."
"You never called yesterday like you promised," Ben added. "Anyway, Lucas mentioned you hadn't gotten a chance to get to the store yet, so I thought I'd do you a favor. I picked up some essentials. It should buy you a few extra days; that way if you're too busy…"
"I see… I kindly thank, but you really didn't need-"
"It was no trouble at all," he said with a grin. "How do you like your eggs?"
She put up a hand and shook her head. "You two go ahead. I need to get in the shower if we're going to be at the lab by eight. Excuse me."
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Ben frowned as he turned off the burner and divided the eggs up between two plates. He set one in front of Lucas.
"Thanks, Ben; these look good."
"No problem, kid." He stared in the direction of the bathroom door absentmindedly. "Did you notice anything off about her?"
Lucas looked up from his plate. "Off? What do you mean?"
He shrugged. "She just seemed…different."
"She was probably just surprised to see you."
"I guess…" he said thoughtfully, though he didn't believe that was the case. He was sure he'd seen tears in her eyes. Not only that, she didn't seem particularly pleased to see him.
Lucas nodded his head towards the other plate. "Aren't you going to eat?"
Ben shook his head. "I'm saving it for the doc. She'll want to eat something before you two leave."
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Kristin leaned up against the tiled wall of the shower and shut her eyes tightly, trying to will away the tears that still stung her eyes.
Although she knew he was trying to help, she couldn't help but notice the way Ben looked at her. The way he frowned, that look in his eyes…she was sure he was disappointed. She and Lucas hadn't even been away for twenty-four hours, and she couldn't even manage to feed him properly.
She gritted her teeth as she washed her hair, feeling anger creep up, taking its place right alongside the overwhelming sadness that plagued her. She vowed right then and there that this would never happen again. Never would she give Ben or anyone else a reason to barge in and feel they had to do anything for her. She was a grown woman, and she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself and of Lucas. She'd just have to manage her time a bit better and have a little talk with Lucas. She'd already given him the disclaimer speech that she'd make mistakes, but she wanted to be sure she hadn't already scarred him.
After rinsing, she let out a sigh as she turned the tap off and grabbed the towel from the wall. She was already failing at her new resolution, considering she was sure they were going to be late for the lab. She only hoped Neil wasn't too upset with her.
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As soon as Ben heard the door open, he turned in her direction. "Breakfast is getting cold."
"I'm afraid I don't have much of an appetite. We have to leave soon, and I have to get my things together."
He frowned, eyeing her carefully. "It's only a little after seven."
"And it's a twenty minute drive," she replied, gathering up some papers off the coffee table and stuffing them into a file folder. "Is Lucas getting ready?"
"Yeah," he replied, not blind to the fact she refused to look at him. "You want some help?"
"No, thank you. I'm fine."
He didn't believe her at all, though. He gathered up the dirty dishes and set them inside the sink, intending to wash them, only he couldn't let go of the fact there was something wrong. Instead, he walked towards the living room and stood in the doorway, watching her.
It took her a few moments for her to realize he was there, her brow raised in surprise. "Something you needed?" she asked.
She tried to sound casual, but Ben could hear the slight tremor in her voice. "Something's wrong." It wasn't a question.
She forced a smile. "I'm fine, Ben. I'm just tired. Being in a new place, I didn't sleep all that well."
"You are the worst liar," he replied, walking towards her.
She lowered her gaze and gave a shrug.
Ben sighed. "I can see how red your eyes are. I heard you crying in the other room."
She crossed her arms over her chest. "Your point?"
He placed a hand on her shoulder. "When are you going to take a breath a slow down? You're putting too much pressure on yourself." He watched her chew thoughtfully on her bottom lip and then take a shaky breath, expecting she was near tears once again.
However, she surprised him by gently pushing him away. "Why in the world do you think I came here?" She crossed her arms over her chest once again, giving him an expectant look. "Wasn't it to get away?"
"Except Lucas tells me you spent half the night studying." He shook his head. "Seems like a strange activity after losing a loved one."
"It was research for the lab position, and just what business is it of yours what I do with my time?" she retorted.
He held up his hands. "You're right; it isn't my business, but pretending like it never happened isn't helping either."
"Excuse me? Is that what you think I'm doing? I'll have you know-"
"Uh, guys?"
They both turned around to see Lucas standing in the doorway.
"Is everything okay?" he asked.
"Everything's fine," Ben told him.
Kristin nodded. "We were just having a discussion…" She shot a glare towards Ben. "…but I do believe it's over. We really have to get going."
"Not exactly," Ben said. "I wasn't finished yet."
Kristin shook her head. "I don't-"
"This won't take long," he told her. "Lucas, why don't you wait outside? The doctor will be out shortly."
"Okay," he replied shakily, lingering in the doorway for a brief second before turning away.
As soon as she heard the click of the door, Kristin turned back to him, anger flashing in her eyes. "I can't believe you. Just what the hell gives you the right to come in here and dictate to me what I should or shouldn't be doing?"
"I just think you're doing too much too soon," he explained, being sure to keep his voice calm. "I'm not trying to sound critical, but don't you think all this lab business is just making things worse?"
Ben watched as her features began to soften as a soft sigh escaped her. "I need to get on with my life," she said quietly. "This is the only way I know how." She paused for a moment, finally meeting his gaze. "Are you disappointed in me?"
"Oh, gosh, Doc; no, of course not." He approached her carefully, putting an arm around her shoulders. "I never meant for you to feel that way. I just think a few extra days would-"
She shook her head. "I don't need a few extra days. I'm fine, I promise." She then heard the beeping of a car horn out front. "I do appreciate your concern, but I really haven't time for this."
"Fair enough, but what about this? We're all going to dinner tonight. I've already invited Lucas along; what about you?"
"I'll have to play it by ear…"
"Fine." He paused as he watched her gather her things once again. "If you can't come out with us, how about you and I make a lunch date or something?"
She sighed. "I'm pretty busy at the lab."
"I'm just trying to tell you I'm here if you need to talk. All of us are."
"I know," she replied. "I just want…" She shook her head. "No, I need to figure things out on my own…for now."
Ben nodded. "Suit yourself. Just don't forget you're not alone here. Lucas is worried about you, too."
"I promise I'll speak to him." She glanced at the clock. "I'm sorry, but I really need to go."
He nodded. "Um, do you want me to stay and clean up?"
"I think you've done enough already." She moved to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm sorry if I didn't seem particularly appreciative. I know you're only trying to help."
"But you don't exactly want it, do you?" he guessed.
"I just…I don't want to seem helpless. If I need help, I'll ask."
"You'd better. Let me walk you outside," he told her.
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Lucas waved to Ben as the car drove way and then glanced towards the doc. She was looking through the flash cards he'd made her; however, he couldn't help but wonder if everything was all right. She and Ben were in the house for an awfully long time. And the glare the doc had been giving him when he walked in the living room…
"Doc?"
She turned to him, a gentle smile on her face. "Yes, sweetheart?"
"Is everything okay?"
"Of course; everything's fine."
"That seemed awfully automatic," he noted. "You and Ben…"
She sighed and put the flash cards away. "I know; we did have some words, but we're fine. He just…had some concerns."
"Yeah, he mentioned…"
She put her arm around him and gave a gentle squeeze. "I promise if there were a problem, I'd say. It's just… We're still getting used to all the changes."
"Maybe we could talk later, just you and me?"
"I'd like that," she told him.
"Good." He paused. "Are you coming to dinner with us?"
"I already told Ben we'd have to see…because we're already late."
"I'm sure Dr. Cooper will understand. It's not like you're getting paid."
"That's not quite the point, but I certainly hope you're right."
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Australia
By his sixth pill, Nathan's energy had no inclination of declining. Sleep had not come easy for him for that very reason. If Larry hadn't urged him to get to bed, Nathan would have worked on the heavy bag all night. Still, he guessed he only slept for about five hours.
The only one who ever spoke to him, outside of telling him to eat and take his pill, was Larry. Mason and Armand seemed wary of him for some reason, and he hadn't seen any sign of Alexander Bourne since he'd been up and about.
He'd spent his day going back and forth between the speed bag and the heavy bag. Although he couldn't be positive, he guessed the pill somehow increased stamina. It also seemed to heighten his senses. He could hear footsteps in other parts of the building, even when they weren't anywhere near him. He could also hear voices, though it was more like being in the middle of a crowd; he could never make out what was being said.
He was getting pretty good at knowing when a meal was coming, though. He paused for a brief moment upon hearing a door open. After a moment, he realized it was someone coming towards his cell; not Larry, though.
Larry had short legs, and so he took quick steps. These footsteps were much too slow; it was someone much taller. As the footsteps stopped in front of his cell, he turned to the person in question.
"Ah, Mr. Deon tells me you've adjusted well," Alexander said. "I had to come see it for myself." He paused, eyeing him carefully. "You don't need to stop on my account. Carry on. I'd like to see you in action."
Nathan shook his head. "You came all the way down here to watch me hit a few bags?"
"No, I came down here to witness the first part of your transformation," he replied. "Obviously, you've noticed some changes?"
He nodded. "Though I don't suppose you're going to tell me what all this is about yet, are you?"
Alexander laughed. "Quite the contrary, actually, though I won't lie and say I haven't enjoyed watching you squirm."
A brow rose. "Watching me?"
Alexander nodded towards a small, black globe-like structure in the corner of Nathan's cell. "You didn't think I'd miss the show, did you?" His lips curved into a cold smile. "I'm afraid Larry will be laid up for a few days; I know how close you two have grown."
Nathan cringed at the thought. Larry had been his one hope at salvation; he'd been the only one to share any bit of information with him, though he guessed Bourne wouldn't have killed him…he hoped. He seemed to be a valuable asset, even if it was just for finances.
"Cat got your tongue?" the younger man teased.
"Not at all," he replied casually, being sure to keep his emotions in check. No way was he going to give Alexander anymore fuel to play with than he already had. "I was just thinking."
"Wracking your brain to try and figure all this out, are you?" He let out a sigh and began pacing slowly in front of the cell. "Of course you are; what else would be on your mind?"
Nathan offered no reply as he kept his eye on him.
"I did tell you you'd be leaving your illusion of ignorance, and I meant it. The UEO is an organization of lies."
"Lies?" Nathan scoffed. "If it wasn't for the UEO, we'd still be in the middle of a war."
"If it wasn't for the UEO, your son would still be alive, would he not?"
It felt like a slap, the mention of Bobby, but Nathan did his best to keep his cool. "I see you've done your research."
"Certainly. So getting back to the death of your son, you don't have any bit of resentment towards your precious UEO?"
"Back then, yes, but you know what they say. Time heals everything."
"You can't really believe that?" Alexander asked with a laugh. He paused, examining Nathan's face for a moment and then raising a hand to his mouth. "Oh, no; you do believe that?" He laughed a bit harder. "You really have been brainwashed by them, haven't you?"
Nathan shook his head. "If you'd done your research, you'd know I haven't always been on their side."
"You're absolutely correct, and that's actually why I chose you."
"Chose me?"
"Absolutely." He brought his index fingers into a peak and placed them against his chin. "You didn't think I just chose you at random, did you? Out of all your fellow captains, I felt you had the greatest potential. You should feel honored."
"Forgive me if I can't quite see it the way you do."
"Oh, but you will. You haven't always trusted them and for good reason…because you know their hands are so very dirty."
"On the contrary; it seems that you're the one with the dirty hands."
"Oh, I'm not denying that. However, I don't try to hide what I do. I let the world see what I really am. I never try to be something I'm not, unlike your precious United Earth Oceans Organization."
Nathan paused for a moment, allowing what Bourne had said to sink in. His brow furrowed. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"My, you do catch on quick, don't you?"
He gave a shake of his head. "Anyone can stand here and say fancy words."
"That sounds like a challenge, Bridger." He finally unlocked the cell door and stepped inside. "You really didn't think I'd come here without proof, did you?" He then pulled what appeared to be a thick file folder from inside his jacket. "I had debated how exactly I'd break the news to you. This won't give you all the answers, but it's a start." He tossed the folder on the ground at Nathan's feet. "Don't stay up all night now," he said with a wink before leaving.
Nathan hesitated for a moment before moving to pick up the folder. His hands shook slightly when he saw the words written in black ink on the cover: The Dark Age of Genetics.
A/N: A few things. First, I'd like to thank ReadingBlueWolf and Madam'zelleGiry for their help with my chapter flow.
Secondly, I'd like to apologize if you thought my last author's note meant I was going to stop writing. I assure you, unless I'm dead, I don't plan on stopping. My plot bunnies are very fertile; however, your feedback will help me and give me the motivation to write a bit faster.
Third, thank you to my anonymous reviewers. Of course, I appreciate all reviews, but this is the only outlet I have to thank them. To my anonymous guest reviewer, I promise some Lucas angst ahead. It was going to be in this chapter, but things went a little long. I do promise it's coming. You'll just have to bear with me.
Fourth, because I realize not everyone has watched the third season and for my out-of-fandom readers, a bit of explanation. In seaQuest canon, the Dark Age of Genetics lasted from 2001 to 2003 and was outlawed by 2004 by the UN Resolution. During this time, they experimented on Genetically Engineered Lifeforms (GELF's). In third season canon, this was something that Nathan, Commander Ford, and a few other members of the brass were involved in.
To clear things up, there will be no GELF's in this story. How my storyline applies to The Dark Age of Genetics will be revealed in due time...because I'm evil like that.
As always, I appreciate your support; thank you for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting. I hope to get another chapter out before the week is through; we'll see what happens. Thank you.