AN:/ I'M SO SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! *Turns invisible from vampire power* PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I swear I tried to update as soon as I could but you see I saved this chapter and then I went to save it again just in case and I was going upload it and update the story when my laptop decided that I didn't need this chapter. I had a heart attack because of it (not literary because I'm Edward's wife and I'm a vampire… I mean HELLO! Vampires can't have a heart attack… It's literary IMPOSSIBLE!) but thankfully I did have a another version of this story but it didn't most of the stuff that is in this chapter and it wasn't edited or anything but I didn't do anything to it so when I finally got to see my daddy again I told him about it and I gave my laptop and thank god he fixes computers for a living… anyway he recovered it! I mean I tried everything I could to try get it back but failed but my daddy got it on first go! I LOVE YOU DADDY! (Yes I'm Edward's wife and YES I still call my dad daddy… Don't judge ;P ;P ) Now onto the story… I really hope you all enjoy it!

Chapter 10- Why?

I looked over my work and started to unconsciously hum a tune for it to be played to. I started to mentally sing the words to the tune I was humming softly

"Skies are crying, I am watching
Catching teardrops in my hands
Only silence as it's ending, like we never had a chance
Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass,
Like I'm made of paper?
And go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a Skyscraper, like a Skyscraper

As the smoke clears,
I awaken and untangle you from me
Would it make you feel better,
To watch me while I bleed?
All my windows still are broken
But I'm standing on my feet

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass,
Like I'm made of paper?
And go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a Skyscraper, like a Skyscraper

Go run, run, run
I'm gonna stay right here
Watch you disappear
Yeah
Go run, run, run
Yeah it's a long way down
But I am closer to the clouds up here

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass,
Like I'm made of paper?
Oh-oh
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground4
Like a Skyscraper, like a Skyscraper
Like a Skyscraper, like a Skyscraper"

I sighed as I realised that the song was almost explaining my whole situation. I smiled slightly as I put my new song into my little notebook/diary which held all my other songs. As I was putting my new song into it something folded in half fell out. Curious, I picked it up and unfolded it to find that it was a picture of me and Grandma Swan on my 8th birthday and we were at the beach and I had a little party girl hat clipped to my hair and I had just finished burying grandma under sand and only her feet and head were visible and I was sitting on her stomach with a toothy grin plastered on my face and my eyes squeezed shut and grandma laughing at me. I remember that once she was out I was then buried like she was just I had my feet tickled and I couldn't do anything but squeal and roll my feet around trying in vain to get them hidden or out of the way of being tickled... they were good times.

I heard a soft knocking at the door and I jumped about 3 feet into the air before quickly searching for somewhere to put the picture where it was out of sight so I quickly put it back into my book and put my book under my shirt and I was fixing up my shirt trying to make it look inconspicuous just as the door opened and in walked... Edward, of course it'd be Edward I thought angrily

"What do you want now!" I asked angrily as I walked over to the closet walked in and shut the doors behind me. Once the doors were shut I walked about halfway and then pulled my book out from my shirt and put it on the highest shelf and put in the middle of a pile of clothes, making sure that it was invisible to the eye before walking back out. Edward's eyes immediately snapped to mine from where he was leaning on the desk

"Hi" Edward said casually

"Bye" was my reply as I jumped onto my bed and crossing my legs before grabbing my iPod and putting the headphones in my ears and turning the music up loud enough that I couldn't hear myself think as I looked out the window and a tear rolled down my cheek but I quickly wiped it away.

Suddenly all the memories of my parents death and everything up to now broke through my wall and flooded my mind and I nearly hunched over in pain, I started crying and I didn't want anyone to see me like this, especially Edward, so I ran to the bathroom stumbling a bit but just as I was about to get to the door I crashed into something hard and fell flat on my butt. I looked up with blurry vision caused by the tears and I saw Edward standing in front of me with a concerned look on his face but that just made me cry harder and I curled up into a ball and it wasn't until Edward started talking to me did I realise that my headphones were ripped out of my ears when I jumped up from the bed.

I didn't hear anything, I didn't want to, I just wanted to fade away, no-one really cared otherwise they wouldn't have left me the way they did… murder… cancer… love.

I didn't see anything and I just let the days roll by, I refused to talk or even look at anyone, most the time I just pretended I was asleep when Edward came up to check on me. It was maybe midnight, I wouldn't have a clue because I just stopped caring, when I decided I would end everyone's suffering, my suffering. I walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me, I turned on the water so then they would think I was in the shower and I looked around and saw it, the perfect tool for this job. Nail scissors!

I picked them up and ran my thumb lightly over the blades and found that they were pretty sharp, PERFECT! I watched the mirror as I put one of the blades on my throat I took a deep breath before pushing the blade into the skin and I started to slide it across my throat.

I got maybe 2cm when the bathroom door burst open and in came Edward and he snatched the scissors out of my hand at an inhuman speed and half-heartedly glared at me as his eyes were nothing but concern and pain as if it was causing him physical pain, I just had a blank expression as I held his stare

"Why?" Edward asked pained but I just stared over his shoulder, I shouldn't have to explain myself and the reasons behind things I do, definitely not to Edward, I felt the blood oozing down my neck but I couldn't find it in myself to care.

I casually walked back into the room and curled up onto the bed just watching the wall as if it was the most interesting thing I had ever seen.

I felt someone lie down beside me and wrap their stone cold arm around my waist and pulled me against their chest and normally I would've tried to get out of their grasp but I felt the tiniest bit comforted and also I didn't care because I already knew that no-one would love me, or could love me… I mean look at me! I'm an average, boring 18 year old girl with boring brown hair and eyes, the most interesting thing about me is the length of my hair! Which by the way goes down to the top of my butt, in case I hadn't mentioned it before or you forgot. I'm boring physically and personally, honestly I have no idea why these psychopathic vampires took me and not someone pretty and smart and funny and well everything I'm not.

I didn't bother counting the days I had been in this house like I had started to do once I escaped and nearly drowned. I didn't care anymore; they could do what they wanted because honestly, I've had enough.

"Why did you do it? Why did you try?" said a soft velvety voice. The voice alone made me feel safe… trustworthy and I felt compelled to tell it everything just to hear it again. I opened my mouth slightly but sealed my lips shut again. Instead of answering the voice I got up and took a medium sized wool blanket with me as I wrapped it around my body and went out onto the balcony and sat down and rested my face on the cold metal bars. The cold felt nice.

"Why?" I whispered and I repeated whispering that one word, the one word that if I got the answer to I could finally move on, find myself. Why did my dad kill my mother? Why did he kill himself? Why did he do it in front of me? Why do I remember everything of that day to the tiniest detail like that colour of the flowers in the vase, the shapes the splatters and pools of blood made or what their faces looked like? Why didn't Grandma Swan tell me about her cancer? Why did she leave so soon? Why did these psychotic vampires take me on the day she died? Why not maybe a week later or even a month later? Why that day? ... Why me?

AN:/ *Turns visible again* Sooo…? What do you all think? Was it any good? Did you all like it? Sorry that it was short... I honestly thought it was longer but I just HAD to leave it there... Sorry again about my laptop practically deleting my chapter (btw it wasn't in my recycle bin or my folders… it was hiding… pretending to be a template ) So give this chapter a nice little review and I'll update the next chapter as a treat for being without an update for sooo long… Also after chapter 11 I've officially ran out of pre-typed/written chapters so I'll probably change updates back to weekends with the occasional treat… it all depends… I have ideas for chapter 12 and chapter 13 but I have no clue for the rest of the chapters… I know what I want to in this story but I don't know what to do… or well… I'll figure it out by the time chapter 13 is done… hopefully… anyway… REVIEW!