Oh wow. I mean... wow. I asked for crackier pairings... And of course, there were plenty of replies. Wow. Although a few were disturbing, they were all creative and most of them original. My personal favorite suggestion was "Temari and a stump." Hah hah hah... I dunno about her, but somebody else will be falling in love with an inanimate object...
Well, once again it is time to delve into the cracky-ness of my mind. Lets go!
"I think I love you..."
Kakashi and the gas-mask wearing man could only watch in horror as a love-struck Gaara stared longingly at a rather confused Sakura.
"Um... beg pardon?" Sakura arched an eyebrow.
"It seems that I have been captivated by your beauty..." Gaara stated eloquently.
"Wow, when did he learn to speak with class?" the man asked. Kakashi only shrugged.
"You... my... huh?!" Sakura took a step back.
"What are you talking about?!" Naruto fumed, stepping in front of her.
"I am in love with you friend," Gaara replied with a shrug.
"Uhhh..." Kankuro and Temari were seriously confused.
"I'm so confused..." Sakura shook her head.
"There's no reason to be," Gaara comforted her, "My dear Sakura."
"Okay, this is making me sick..." Sasuke grumbled as he turned and began to walk away. "I'm outta here."
"Wait, Sasuke!" Sakura pleaded. "Don't abandon me like this!"
"Don't waste your breath upon him," Gaara advised her. "He doesn't care about you, at least not like I do."
"Are you saying I don't care about my friends?" Sasuke growled.
"No..." Gaara replied. "I'm just saying I love her, and you don't."
"This is seriously screwed up..." Temari shook her head.
"Well, at least you're seeing this, too..." Kankuro sighed. "Glad to know I'm not going nuts..."
"Uh..." Sakura took another step away from Gaara. "I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way..."
"What must I do then to attain your love?" Gaara asked.
"Uh..." Sakura had no idea how to respond.
"Flowers?" Gaara asked. A few seconds later, the most beautiful rose Sakura had ever seen floated up to her from nowhere upon a cloud of sand. "Chocolates?" A box of candy floated up a few seconds later.
"Uhhh..." Sakura stared at the gifts.
"Poetry?" Gaara arched an eyebrow. He suddenly sank to his knees and took one of Sakura's hands into his and began to serenade her with the writings of his soul. "My dear Sakura, friend or foe, I love you dearly, I hope you know..."
"Uhhh..." Sakura was now getting a little creeped out.
"Your beauty reminds me of a desert flower, standing out amongst the sands, a symbol of untained beauty, within a barren land..." Gaara poured forth his soul in an attempt to impress the woman he loved.
"That's not half bad..." Kakashi mused.
"I know..." the man sobbed. "Its beautiful! Such honesty! Such eloquence!"
"Um, right..." Kakashi inched away slightly.
"Okay, buddy..." Naruto growled, suddenly jumping between Sakura and Gaara. "This has gone on for far enough. She doesn't love you! Get that through your thick sand-filled head!"
"Naruto?" Sakura asked softly. Suddenly, a wave of sand smashed into Naruto, sending him flying into the air. "NARUTO!!!" she screamed.
"WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Naruto exclaimed as he spiralled into the sky.
"Annoying pest..." Gaara growled.
"YOU JERK!!!" Sakura yelled as she slapped the Sand Village shinobi.
Smack.
Gaara stood there, dumbfounded as a red handprint formed on the side of his face. "What happened?" he finally came to his senses. "What's going on?"
"Um..." Temari scratched the back of her head, "You fell in love with this girl, started belting out poetry, and then got slapped in the face for sending her friend airborne..."
"I did what?" Gaara snarled.
"Time to go..." Sakura whispered as she tip-toed away unseen and unheard.
Meanwhile, Naruto was finally coming out of the Stratosphere. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" he yelled as he streaked through the sky. But when he saw the sky coming up fast, he realized that he was about to get seriously screwed over. "Uh oh..."
FWA-BAM!!!!
"Ow..." Naruto moaned, rubbing his head. He then realized that he was laying on the ground between two rather confused people. "Oh, hello Kakashi-sensei and other person who I don't know!"
"Uh..." Kakashi stared down at his student.
"Um..." the man stared as well.
"What are you guys up to?" Naruto asked with a goofy grin.
"Uh..." the two men stared at each other. They both then shrugged, and in unison stomped on Naruto's face and knocked him out.
"Okay, how what?" Kakashi asked his "boss" for advice.
"Lets throw the shuriken at a random person again. That was fun..." the man cackled.
"Okay..." Kakashi looked down at the people on the street below them. Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari were arguing about what had happened. Sakura and Sasuke were gone. Shikamaru and Choji were standing in front of a restaraunt trying to decide who would pay the bill. Ino was walking by on her way to deliver flowers. And Gai was looking into the window of a tv store, musing over the price of a new flatscreen. Kakashi smirked slyly. He was starting to enjoy his "job," although he would never admit it.
"Having fun?" the man suddenly asked.
"No," Kakashi growled. "I hate being forced to play with my friends' minds..."
"Uh huh, sure..." the man scoffed. "Now lets get down to business..."
"Alright..." Kakashi hurled the shuriken at his next target. "Lets see how this works out!"
Who will it be? Who will they develope feelings for? So many possibilities, and so many shuriken...
REVIEW, PLEASE!!! As always, ideas and suggestions are accepted. Although, just so you know, I prefer straight pairings. But I'll give yaoi or yuri a chance if I can make it funny...