In Time—FKA Twigs
In time
You'll learn to say sorry
And I will play tender with you
In time
Your hands on my body will resonate through me
Like they did before
And then
I will be better
And we will be stronger
And you will be greater
The one that I always wanted you to be
If you can resist it
And make a commitment
And stay with me in this
Stay with me in this
Olivia walked back to her apartment as the sun slowly wiped the crust out of its eyes. When she returned, she showered, and put on a fresh pants suit. She had a class at 10:00 and had to report to her internship at 12:00, but she had things to accomplish before then. She knew that Edison would be back in his office at 8:00. That was one of the many predictable things about him. No matter how his night was, he was always punctual to work the next moment.
As she walked into his building at 9:00, she felt utterly awkward talking to his secretary. His secretary was such a genial person to her, especially after news of their engagement broke.
"Can I see Mr. Davis?" She approached her desk.
"Of course. Let me just call you in."
"Actually," Olivia cut her off. "Can I surprise him?" She knew the real reason was that he would turn her away the second his secretary announced her name. She had to see him face to face to make things okay.
"Um, sure. His door is unlocked."
Olivia thanked her, and entered his office. He had floor plans spread across his desk and seemed deep in thought. When he heard her enter, he looked up. The look on his face broke Olivia's heart. He immediately beeped to his secretary.
"Janet, what did I say—"
"Please, Edison. I will only be a minute. No need to get her in trouble."
"—Please hold all calls and incoming."
"Yes sir, Mr. Davis." She responded dutifully.
"Edison…" Olivia walked to the edge and set his grandmother's ring on the edge.
"What do you have to say for yourself?" His tone was condescending and crude. It made Olivia feel like she was being reprimanded by a principal, but she deserved it.
"I'm sorry." Olivia felt herself getting emotional. "You deserve better than me."
"That's it?" Edison had bitterness in his voice. "The night I proposed, something switched in you. I thought, 'maybe she is adjusting to being engaged. Maybe she just needs time'. I thought that the way that you shrugged me off at night was how you processed it all. You became distant, and I should have seen it sooner. Was it my fault for proposing so soon?"
"No."
"Then it was your student showing up at the game."
"Yes." Olivia admitted, hurt by the way he said student.
"Have you two been fucking the entire time we were dating?"
"No." Olivia took a deep breath. "When I met you, I was willing to give it a chance. You told me that I was holding on to something, and I told you that there was a guy before you. I told you that I hurt him badly, and I couldn't forgive myself. It was all true."
"That was him." He said with finality. "Then I'm glad that I knocked his teeth in."
"I swear that the moment that you walked in on us was the only time I ever cheated on you."
"You picked a prime time to do it."
Olivia tried to stomach the hurt in his voice. He was allowed to be an ass right now. "I thought I loved you. I tried so hard. You are a good man, Edison. You are kind and loving and moral and safe and supportive. I put my all into it, but we simply aren't meant to be. We look good on paper, but there is something missing between."
"I loved you, Olivia." Edison put emphasis on the past tense.
"I know, and I wasn't deserving." Olivia walked over to the edge of his desk and quietly set his grandmother's ring on the edge of his desk. "You deserve someone who is going to be there with you until the end. Someone who has the capacity to love you."
"I don't think I have ever despised someone as much as I do now, looking at you."
"I know." Olivia looked at her hands, ashamed. "I never meant to cheat. That is not who I am—"
"It is what you are."
"We just have different paths, and I am sorry that we crossed. I never meant to hurt you."
"Is that the excuse that cheaters use? We weren't meant to be? We were on different paths?"
"Edison, don't be cruel."
"You vowed to me."
"I didn't say any vows yet."
"Then what is a relationship?"
"I'm not excusing what I have done. But we were never meant to be. We checked off every kind of box, but we never had any passion for one another. We never had any of that breathtaking, life changing, devastating love."
"Love isn't meant to be devastating."
"Which is why we would have never lasted to say our vows." Livia took a deep breath. At this point they were spitting nothing but fiery truth, and she saw no reason to stop there. "If we were truly each other's soul mates, you would've known that I hate 'kiss cams' and public proposals. I would've introduced you to my father sooner. We would have had more sex on the kitchen counter and less under the covers in your bed."
Edison stood, placing his hands on his desk. "If all that you want out of a relationship is some druggie thrill, then good luck. It shows what kind of character you have, and quite frankly, it makes me happy that I saw this before I had to sign divorce papers."
His last words stung as Olivia backed up. "Goodbye Edison. Despite what you say when you are hurt, I really do hope that you find someone."
/
Olivia got back to apartment feeling like an entire piece of shit. She knew that Edison was saying things out of anger, but she also knew that somethings were true. She was a cheater. She was despicable. She also wanted nothing more than to call Fitz. She reminded herself of their plan, and now she was virtually single. They didn't know each other outside of a class that ended a semester ago. Instead, she took a deep breath and went on to her class. By the time she left her internship, she was so entirely physically exhausted that she wanted nothing more than to curl into Fitz's arms.
But she had to wait. It was Fitz's move now. She didn't specify how much time she needed, and she hoped he didn't torture her for too long.
So instead, she locked herself in her room and worked on the pile of schoolwork that was catching up to her.
/
ONE WEEK LATER
Olivia rarely studied in a coffee shop. It often felt too busy, and she needed more quiet. But, her class was cancelled, so Olivia felt like relaxing and reading a book. It was still a little too nippy outside to read on the quad, so she chose the warm coffee shop. She was deeply engaged in her book and didn't notice the person approaching.
"Nice choice."
Olivia looked up to see Fitz standing there in gym shorts and a hoodie. He had obviously just finished a morning run.
"You like Claudia Rankine?"
"It was a required reading for one of my classes. It was my favorite." Fitz smiled. "May I?"
"Sure." Olivia said casually, as he took the seat across from her. She dog eared the page and closed her book.
"How have you been? It has been five months."
"I have been well, thank you."
"Are you still a TA? I heard Dr. Beene went back into politics. I think we all knew that he hated teaching."
"I am, but I transferred into the journalism school. It was closer to my major." Olivia as trying not to laugh at their forced small talk.
"Do you like it more?"
"The discussions aren't as polarizing, but I enjoy reading the essays more."
"I have read some of your articles for the Globe. Really good stuff."
"Since when do millennials pick up a newspaper?" Olivia joked.
"So the reason why I came over here—and I'm glad I ran into you today," Fitz became noticeably nervous, on purpose, "Is because I have two tickets to this wine tasting thing, and I thought you might be interested."
"How did you know that I love wine?"
"Lucky guess."
"When is it?"
"Tonight at six." Fitz backtracked. "I totally understand if you have plans or don't want to be seen with one of your students, or—I mean technically I'm not your student anymore—but you probably still see all of my failed essays every time you look at me…"
"I would love to."
"Really?"
"Yes." Olivia held her phone out. "Put your number in my phone and I'll text you my address."
"Sweet." Fitz eagerly entered in his number and returned her phone. Olivia typed out a text to his number
UNKOWN NUMBER: Don't think that getting me drunk on the first night will make me break my five date rule.
"Perfect." Fitz grinned at the message. "Now I have your number and address. I will pick you up at 5:30. We can grab a bite to eat afterwards."
"I look forward to it."
"Well I will let you get back to your book." Fitz rose. "I will see you tonight, Olivia."
/
Olivia smoothed the fabric of her champagne colored dress out. She wanted Abbey's opinion on her hair, but they had used very basic communication since Abbey sent Edison to the quad. Olivia wasn't ready to forgive her yet, and Abbey didn't seem too concerned with it either. They just co-existed silently. Nonetheless, Olivia craved a girl opinion on her outfit. She pulled her hair back into a sleek bun.
Right on time, she heard a knock on her door. She grabbed her coat and clutch.
"Wow," Fitz said as she opened the door. "You look beautiful." In his hands were a simple bouquet of lilies.
"Thank you." Olivia blushed as he reached in to kiss her cheek. She put the flowers in a vase of water and followed him to his car.
Throughout the night, Olivia thoroughly enjoyed tasting all of the wines at the swanky event, also buying a couple of bottles for herself. She got a kick out of explaining the complexity of each one to Fitz, who just thought that they all tasted very good. They reacquainted themselves with each other, talking about their semester.
Every time she brought a glass to her lips and let out that soft moan of appreciation, Fitz would ache with the urge to kiss her. He was determined to take things slow for her sake. Treat the night like an actual first date. That meant the kissing would have to come later. After the wine tasting, they went to a food truck gathering down the street for Korean BBQ tacos. Then he drove her back to her apartment.
"If tonight was the full Fitzgerald Grant Charm, then I hate that you couldn't show it to me earlier." Olivia joked. She was straddling the border between tipsy and drunk at this point, and he could tell by the way she was hanging onto his arm.
"We are just getting started."
"This is me." She stopped in front of her door.
"This is you." He replied. "I had a great time tonight."
"I did too. Thank you."
"Can I see you again?"
"I think that we can arrange that."
He caressed her face, pulling her in for a soft and simple kiss. The alcohol hazed over Olivia's mind as she tried to deepen the kiss, but he kept it safe.
"Goodnight, Olivia. I'll call you."
/
For their second date, Fitz took her to dinner and a movie. Their third date was a run through the nature trails near campus. On the fourth date, He took Olivia to a Jazz and Art festival downtown. They walked hand in hand, kissing sporadically, listening to jazz and perusing the local art vendors. That date ended with them on Fitz's couch heavily making out. It took all of their energy to stop before things got too heated.
A week passed before they could have the fifth date, due to finals week. Olivia was swamped by all of her papers and exams as well as grading her class's tests. Once she walked out of her last final, she got a cryptic text from Fitz for her to go put on something comfortable.
He picked her up, kissing her soundly on the lips.
"How were finals?"
"Over." Olivia said, "What about yours?"
"Same. I had a couple of GEs that I am glad to never go to again."
"What is on the agenda today?"
"I figured we could relax together." Fitz pulled into a spa parking lot.
"Fitz, you didn't have to—" Before she could finish her sentence, he cut her off with his lips. She moaned, letting him slip his tongue past her lips. "That was rude." She joked once he pulled back.
"We just survived a semester at the hardest school in America. I think that we deserve a little pampering."
Once inside, Fitz informed the receptionist that they were there for the couples massage. They were lead back to the room, where they were told to strip and lay down on the bed. Fitz didn't think this part through, because the sight of Olivia removing her clothes, and him knowing that he couldn't touch her made him grow an annoying boner.
"I hope that isn't for the receptionist." Olivia joked, knowing that the sight of him in attention made her a little too wet.
"What date is this, by the way? I think I lost count." Fitz quipped back as they settled into the beds. For the next 90 minutes, two professionals kneaded and rubbed and stretched all of the stress from their finals week out of their system. There were a couple times when Olivia let out an unexpected moan at the pleasure, making Fitz wish that the time would pass so he could get her to himself. Finally, the session was over, and they were dressing.
After Olivia pulled her sweatshirt over her head, she went over to Fitz who was sitting on the bed, watching her. "Thank you for all of this." Olivia settled between his legs and kissed him. "I don't think you know how much I needed this—normalcy—with you. I needed a breather and to slow things down."
"I was going to wait until I got back to my apartment to ask you this…" Fitz let his hands wander up and down her sides. "Olivia Pope, will you be my girlfriend?" He asked, with the most seriousness he could muster.
Olivia bit her lip and cocked her head. "That depends on how the rest of the date goes." She backed away in teasing, but he reached out to slap her ass. "That is not helping your case."
/
Once back to Fitz's apartment, he poured them drinks and they settled on the couch. Olivia sat with her legs across his lap. They talked about their summer plans. Olivia was taking summer classes, and Fitz would start his internship at the state capital in June. Fitz couldn't help but touch Olivia in every way. Having her warm body so encompassing was distracting in its own. She was telling him of her search for a new apartment, but his hand couldn't help but creep up her tummy in between her sweatshirt and bare skin.
"I have narrowed down to three places. I still have to tour two of them. I think that…uh…." Olivia lost her train of thought as his hand reached her breast, softly cupping it.
"You were thinking?" Fitz brought his mouth dangerously close to hers. He could smell the wine from her breath.
"That I will sign a lease by the end of the week."
"Is that so?" Fitz kissed the corner of her mouth.
"I was thinking that it was time anyways for me to have my own…Fitz." She whispered as his hand went around to unhook her bra.
"Your own what?"
"Apartment." Olivia breathed, begging him to kiss her.
"And why is that?" He pulled her up so that she was straddling him.
"There are a lot of advantages…" He pulled her sweatshirt over her head, leaving her loose bra to fall down her arms.
"Like?" He kissed her neck, increasing the intensity
"Privacy."
"Mhmm?" He kissed around her collarbone, leaving large, wet kisses along her throat.
"And I can…" Olivia trailed off as he worked down to her breasts. Her head fell back as he attached his lips around her nipple.
"I find this conversation very interesting, Livvie. Please don't stop."
Livvie tried to speak, but fell mute as he moved to her other nipple. Her breasts were aching for his attention, and he was filling that need. She scraped her nails through his hair, pulling his mouth back to hers. They couldn't help getting aggressive, as Olivia bit his lip and he palmed her breast. She pulled his shirt over his head so that she could run her hands down his abs. Before she knew it, there was a knot in her throat and her eyes started watering.
"Fitz," She whispered.
"What?" he pulled back, concerned. He used his thumb to wipe the tears from her face. Olivia let a soft laugh erupt as she looked away. "What is wrong?"
"I am just so happy that this is where I am right now, with you. Happy endings aren't meant to happen like this. I just can't shake the feeling that it is too perfect. Three weeks ago, I was engaged to a man I didn't love, and I was convincing myself that it was what I wanted. But now… Everything just seems too real."
"If this is all too soon, we can wait." Fitz rubbed her thigh comfortingly.
"No. I am ready. I just…" Olivia wiped her tears away. "I just really hate myself right now for crying and ruining the moment."
"You didn't ruin anything." He pulled her hair behind her ear. "Plus, we have a lot of moments we are going to be making."
Fitz leaned in to kiss her again. This time, he was gentle and slow. He was determined to let his love for her show. After her tears had stopped, he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, and carried her to the bedroom. He set her down on the bed, pulling her leggings off and leaving her in her lace thong. He removed his pants and boxers before crawling up her body from her ankles to her lace clad heat. She naturally spread her legs as he kissed up and down her thighs. He kissed her mound, causing Olivia's hips to buck in anticipation. When he pulled her panties off, he sent a prayer to God as he saw her pussy in its fullest.
As he feathered his tongue over her lips, Olivia sharply inhaled. She fixed one hand to his hair, tugging at his scalp. He missed this one way she showed her appreciation the most. She seemed to have this one fixation with running her hands through his hair. He stopped until she granted him eye contact, before flattening his tongue against her pussy.
"Fuck…" She moaned. That was the best encouragement to Fitz as he began to skillfully kiss and lick her clit. He remembered everything about her and everything that made her moan and squirm. It was like they never parted, and that made him emotional. Her wetness was sripping down his chin as he inserted two fingers into her without warning. Fitz had to physically hold her hips to the mattress, because she was writhing with pleasure. Her mind was becoming hazy in the way that only he could make it. She let the screams of her first orgasm resound through his bedroom.
She barely had time to capture her fleeting breath before he was on her mouth, sucking and biting her plump lips. She could taste herself on him and she wanted more. She flipped herself on top of him so that she was in control, kissing along his jaw line and neck. Her position didn't last long as flipped them back over and entered as swiftly as she processed their change. They both gasped at the sensation, taking a second to adjust.
Olivia sucked his bottom lip into her mouth to let him know that she was ready for him to move. He began a rhythm of long, slow strokes, designed to drive her insane. He took advantage of her flexibility, hoisting her leg over his shoulder. They had prolonged eye contact as they communicated their overwhelming love for one another. He slid one hand down to her clit to bring her second orgasm home with a toe curling spasm.
Her fingernails dragging along his back as she sucked his tongue into his mouth, moaning lowly. He gave three more strokes before spilling into her, whispering I love yous against her mouth. He rolled to his side, keeping her leg over his waist. They stared at each other, processing each other and their emotions.
Finally, a smile cracked across Olivia's face escalating into a laugh.
"What?" Fitz asked, amused.
"I was going to say just like old times, but I don't think that covers it."
"I was going to say I love you."
"That works, too."