Rargh. This took forever to come up with. Sorry for taking so long, I can't even remember my last update. But on with it!
Disclaimer: Why do I have to keep telling all you people that I don't own this and am not making money off it. This is a non-profit piece of work, much to my dislike.
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Several blue, flying cows glided across the sky in a majestic fashion that only a cow could pull off. They soared above him, disappearing behind green clouds every now and then. Leaning back down on the yellow grass, Bryan turned to his companions. Tala and Kai, with their newly sprouted rabbit ears were sharing large pink muffin whilst a toadstool, with an uncanny resemblance of Spencer, resited MacBeth. The moon was shinning brightly in the sky, bathing them in its warm violet glow. It was quiet apart from the toadstool's narration and occasional 'moo'. Then a strange ringing sound echoed about them, becoming louder with every trill.
Eyes snapping open, Bryan wiped the sleep from his eyes and searched around blindly for the phone. Clasping it in his hand he pressed the talk button and kindly informed the caller about what he did to people an their phones when they called him at four in the morning.
'Bryan, that's disgusting even by my standards' came Tala's voice. Only he would be inconsiderate enough to call at this hour.
'Why the hell are you still awake! You've been into the coffee again haven't you? If you've used it all up and Kai doesn't get his morning fix I'm not going to cover your ass!' Bryan rambled. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened and it had ended in him having to go by three pounds of coffee at 2am.
'It's not that. I've been on the net and found a video of you and Mariah.'
'What?' Bryan said slightly dumbfounded. His mind went blank as to the significance of this information, though there was some background noise of panic.
'It seems some stalker got some footage of the two of you sucking face,' Tala sighed in a rather carefree tone
Now that hit home. No longer background noise, in his head was a racket that could break the sound barrier.
'So,'
continued Tala. 'I suggest you start running really fast. Lee's
not exactly what you'd call a couch potato. It's that cat blood.
They're really freaky. There was this cat the other day it moved
sooo fast and it was a fat bloody thing too. You should've
se--'
Bryan hung up the phone and ran over to his computer. It
didn't take long to find the video. He only had to watch it for a
few seconds to know that it was bad. Turning off his computer he
calmly found a pen and paper. He had decided that it was about time
for him to revise his will. As he was pondering wether he wanted to
be cremated the phone rang again.
'Bryan?'
'Yes. I'm assuming this is Death calling to tell me that he'll be late collecting my soul today.'
'Not quiet. Though I am going to kill you….'
Somewhere between 'kill' and 'you' Bryan figured that this was Lee calling. A stream of verbal abuse came through the phone. Even after placing the phone under his mattress and fleeing to the other end of the apartment he could still clearly hear Lee describing how he was going to make him incapable of having children. Once Bryan adjusted to the abuse resonating with his bed he decided that it would be best to clean himself up, after all, who wants to die in their pyjama pants?
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'Hey! Mar! Get down here!'
Bleary eyed, Mariah rolled over to check the time. The red numbers on her digital clock burned brightly in the dim light of her room. 4:30 burnt itself into her vision as she stumbled towards the stairs. Almost breaking her neck on the way down, she followed the calls to the study where three of her friends stood huddled about the computer screen.
'You're not going to like this' warned Ray. Pushing the boys aside she sat down in front of the screen and watched the video feed that was playing.
Only one word could sum up the situation.
'Shit…'
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Once again his dreams were interrupted by the shrill calls of the phone. He had just finished daydreaming about a clean, peaceful death that didn't involve his innards being torn from his body by his girlfriend's insane brother.
'Look I get it, Death. I understand that you're a busy man and I don't mind at all if you're a little late to collect my soul' Bryan rambled into the phone. He was rather enjoying himself. He could picture himself laughing maniacally as a doctor told him was about to die of a rather nasty and slightly explosive hernia. Certain death had become a source of entertainment.
'BRYAN! RUN MAN! RUN!'
'Oh, hello Mariah. Going to take a wild guess and say that you've seen the video too.'
'Why are you so calm! Lee is coming to kill you and you act as if were talking about the weather!'
'Supposed to be nice today.'
He heard Mariah give a frustrated sigh. 'That's it. I'm coming over' which was followed by the click of the phone as she hung up.
'Okay then, I'll see you soon. Nice talking to you. Love you. You hang up first. No you hang up first' Bryan said sarcastically as he returned the phone to the receiver.
Several violent attacks on the door told him Lee had arrived. He calmly walked up to the door and opened it, stepping to the side as he did so. A blur shot past him, going so fast it smashed into the wall across the room. Bryan quickly put on a jacket and slipped out the door, locking it behind him. He coolly slid down the banisters of the stairs and jumped the last flight. Just as he was pulling out the keys to his car, Mariah pulled up, leapt from the car and hugged him in relief.
'He didn't kill you yet!'
'Yet?'
'Well…I just didn't think that…you know…' she muttered.
Bryan grinned cheekily before heading towards his car.
'Where are you going?' Mariah asked. 'Where's Lee?'
'I've got a plan. He's still up in my apartment, probably tearing it up, but he'll be down any moment so I thought I should warm up the engine.'
Mariah, still slightly confused, jumped into he passengers seat. Bryan was about to tell her that she probably shouldn't come but stopped when he spied the determined look on her face. She wasn't going anywhere. A crash resounded from above him and he saw Lee climbing down the fire escape, shards of glass scattering themselves on the pavement, the remnants of his window.
Bryan jumped into the car and started to drive. In the rear view mirror he watched Lee jump into his car in pursuit.
Driving at a leisurely pace, Bryan lead Lee down several long roads, swerving and doubling back. He continued this till he got a txt message. Checking his phone he smiled slyly to himself. He did a U-turn and sped off, Lee seconds behind. Bryan turned up a long driveway and stopped in front of a large house. He stepped out of the car, making sure that the car was between him and Lee, he was likely to run him over.
Lee leapt from his car, roaring about all the unpleasant things he was going to do to Bryan's body parts. From inside the car Mariah started to panic and began to get out. Bryan smiled at her and shut her door turning on the kiddie-lock, trapping her inside.
Lee's fists were ready to make contact with Bryan's face when two fluffy darts flew through the air, hitting Lee in the arm and leg. The tranquillisers worked quickly and he slumped to the ground within minutes.
'Cutting it a bit fine there' Bryan yelled over at a small bunch of trees.
'We got him didn't we? So don't complain!' Kai yelled, dropping out of one of the trees, a riffle slung over his shoulder. Spencer emerged from beneath a bush.
'Thanks for this' Bryan said, running his hands through his hair, sighing tiredly.
'Glad to do it' Spencer replied happily. Obviously he had got a kick out it.
Mariah stepped out of the car and ran over to check on Lee.
'What did you do to him?' she asked after she'd felt his pulse.
'Just knocked him out. Won't do any real damage but he is going to wake up with one hell of a headache' Kai explained.
'Where's Tala?' queried Bryan, noticing the third musketeer wasn't hanging about.
'Oh, umm, well, you see. The thing is, we weren't to sure as to wether the darts worked or not so we shot him to test them out' Spencer said, looking as innocent as possible. Bryan looked at them in disbelief.
'Don't give us that look yet. Wait to you see what we dressed him up in' Kai said happily.
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Spencer parked in the driveway and went round to pull the body from the boot. Kai had allocated him the job of delivering Lee back home, at the same time suggesting that they put him in the boot.
Throwing the limp form over his shoulder he sauntered up the pathway and rung the doorbell. Ray answered it and let him in. Mariah had called ahead to inform the other team members of the situation.
'Just put him on the couch' Ray said gesturing towards the lounge area. 'I've been wondering, how do you lot stay so fit with out going to the gym? No one ever sees you there.'
'Oh, that,' Spencer said. 'I get the mail.'
Ray looked at him in disbelief.
'You ever seen Kai's driveway?' he asked. Ray shook his head. 'Well it's a bloody fifteen minute run one way…'
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Not very long but it's something innit? R&R PLEASE! Make me feel loved.
