"You know, the baby is half vampire. Maybe it's not Bella's appetite you need to be concerned about," Adam said softly two weeks later. Edward was kneeling on the floor, his face buried in the couch beside a blanket wrapped Bella. Her hand was stroking gently at his hair as she tried to ignore the IV catheter that was feeding her nutrients. She hadn't been able to keep down a single bite of solid food in four days and liquids were touch and go. I had watched through Adam's eyes as my best friend deteriorated rapidly over the past few days and it was killing me. I heard Dad gasp in his office and Edward's head came off the couch. His expression wavered between fear and hope as he looked directly at Adam and then back at Bella. She looked a little confused.
"Maybe. If she wants to try it. I won't force her into it," Edward said quietly, no doubt answering some unspoken question of dad's. He watched Bella's eyes as the light of understanding began to shine. I didn't even wait for confirmation from Bella. I knew what her answer would be. I darted into the kitchen for the plastic cup I had just placed in the drain two hours earlier.
"Mom! Do we have any straws?" I asked excitedly as Bella declared that she would try anything if we thought it might help her and the baby. Adam had followed me into the kitchen and was opening drawers with wild abandon.
"Nope, nope, what the...?" Adam paused for a moment, looking into a drawer full of baby bibs. I suppressed the urge to giggle, realizing that one of my sisters must have gone shopping recently. More than likely it was Rose, since the bibs were hidden away in a drawer. She was trying to pretend that she wasn't excited about the possibility of a baby in the house. Her temper was even shorter than usual and she spent a lot of time over at the Denali's, but Adam told me he'd seen her looking wistfully at the tiny green baby blanket Esme had crocheted last week. If there was one thing Rose had always wanted, it was a child. I was praying fervently that she could be content, happy even, with the idea of a baby in the family.
Adam finally closed the drawer when Mom told him to look in the pantry for the straws, her voice coming from the living room. The rest of my siblings were all out on a hunt right now, and that was a good thing. Bella would be nervous if all of us were hovering around staring at her when she tried it. Not to mention the teasing Emmett would no doubt subject her to.
Dad was beside me then, taking the cup. I put my hand on his arm and watched as he poured about eight ounces of dark red, viscous liquid from a bag into the cup. It didn't even occur to me that I might react badly to the stuff and though it did smell rather delicious, I had no real urge to drink it. I listened as Edward explained to Bella that the blood was human, not animal. Edward had to quickly disabuse Bella of the notion that Adam was opening a vein for this experiment.
"Anything for you, Bells!" Adam called cheerfully, making Esme reprimand him sharply. I heard a soft, wheezing chuckle from Bella, however, and knew she appreciated the humor.
"Maybe we should heat it up, though? Might make it easier for her to swallow." Adam lowered his voice to say. Dad glanced at me briefly before he nodded and moved to put the cup in the microwave.
"I don't know if this will tempt you, my girl," dad said softly and Adam took that as his cue to wrap me up in his arms. It wasn't necessary, since the warmed blood wasn't any more of a temptation than Bella's scent, but I was glad of Adam's comforting embrace. Once dad was pleased with the temperature, we followed him back into the living room. Adam sat in the overstuffed chair in front of the fireplace and pulled me into his lap. I saw that Edward had helped Bella sit up and she was leaning back against him. I barely repressed the urge to shudder. She looked so fragile. I prayed silently that this was the answer we'd been searching for, because I didn't know how much longer Bella could hold out. I saw Edward grimace and tried my best to steer my wayward thoughts back to more pleasant, hopeful avenues.
"It won't hurt me to try it, Edward. Besides, think of it as practice for the future, right?" Bella said, her voice no more than a whispered croak of sound. She gave him a weak smile and I saw him try to return it, but I could see through Adam's eyes that her words didn't strike him as amusing. Evidently neither did dad, because he sighed as he handed Edward the cup. Bella reached for it, but Edward shook his head.
"Let me hold it," he said gently, no doubt noticing the way her hands shook. Carlisle had found a lid for the cup somewhere, thankfully. Knowing Bella's aversion to the smell of blood, however, I didn't know if that would help. Adam was watching her closely, so I saw the way her eyes darted around nervously before she lifted her head off of Edward's shoulder. Her neck muscles strained with the effort to hold her head up as she sniffed at the end of the straw. She flinched and then made a face.
"Bella, sweetheart, we can find an easier way," Edward said, pulling the cup again from her face. Bella surprised all of us by lurching forward to grab his hand. I heard the contents of the cup sloshing madly as she tugged at it.
"No," she rasped before taking a deep breath. "It smells...good."
"Oh," Edward said, his voice wavering between horrified and relieved. Bella blushed, her expression apologetic as she tugged on the cup again. This time, Edward brought it to her mouth and she took a tentative sip. Her eyes fluttered closed and she immediately took another pull on the straw, a strong one. Adam's glance flickered to Carlisle's face and he looked hopeful.
"How's your stomach? Do you feel nauseated?" he asked. Bella looked up and managed a tiny grin of relief.
"No, I don't feel sick. That's a good thing, right?" she asked, her eyes turning back to Edward. He sighed.
"Maybe. I hope so. We'll have to wait a bit to see," Edward murmured gently. She grimaced and then turned to take another mouthful of blood, her nose wrinkled a bit. It might smell okay and it might taste alright, but she wasn't thrilled by this turn of events. Neither was Edward, but the both of them knew that if this wasn't the solution to the nutritional crisis Bella was having, she wouldn't last another two days. Bella was measuring, according to Carlisle, just over 32 weeks pregnant right now. Human babies could survive this early, but only with special care. We had no idea what kind of special care this baby would need. Regardless, we all knew that Bella would fight tooth and nail to keep them from taking the baby too early just to save her.
"So, does this screw my total, or do we start counting after I'm a vampire?" she asked in a whisper. Edward actually rolled his eyes at this time.
"Nobody died for this, Bella and nobody will. I made you a promise and I intend to keep it," he told her gently. I knew he'd promised that he would never let drink her from a human and all of us would do our damnedest to back him up on it.
"Even if we have to move to Antarctica?" Bella asked, the corners of her mouth turning up in a grin. I saw Edward return it with a genuine, crooked grin of his own.
"No need to visit the penguins, love. It's remote enough here to keep you out of trouble. If you don't believe me, ask Leia. She's still got a perfect record," Edward said tenderly. His words hit me like a blow. No, my record wasn't perfect anymore, but I didn't want Bella to know that. Not now, not ever. I tensed but managed to give Bella what I hoped was a convincing smile. Unfortunately, Adam noticed the change in my posture and there was no way Edward would miss my suddenly darker thoughts. I saw the quick flash of fingers from Edward.
'Leia, forgive me. That was thoughtless,' he signed.
It's alright, Edward. I suppose in the context of the conversation, it's true. I've still never sucked a human dry. I thought back at him. I tried to keep the bitterness out of my mental tone but I'm not sure I succeeded. Luckily, Bella didn't seem to notice anything. Not so with Adam. His arms tightened around me and a hand on his face told me he was frowning. I had sinking feeling that I wouldn't be able to get out of talking to him about Italy soon, but I didn't want to start a conversation in front of Bella so I brushed my fingers over his lips.
"Tonight," I murmured softly and I felt his frown deepen.
"I'll hold you to that," he said quietly and I relaxed a little bit. Over the next hour, Bella had another cup of blood and she began to show signs of recovery. There was more color in her cheeks and she actually claimed to be hungry. When Edward offered to cook her some eggs, she looked eager to try eating them. Edward said the baby was feeling better as well and I checked the baby's heartrate for Carlisle. He seemed satisfied that we had solved the problem and to Bella's delight, he removed the IV from her hand. In celebration, Edward carried her to their bedroom for the first time in three days.
"Dad, Adam and I are going to take a walk," I told Carlisle half an hour later. Adam was talking on the phone with his sister and we both heard him warn her not to freak out if she sensed anything odd from him tonight. If anything, Adam and Sarah's emotional bond seemed to be even stronger now that they were hundreds of miles apart.
"Finally going to tell him everything, then?" Dad asked gently, tugging me in for a brief hug. I nodded against his shirt and he sighed.
"Taking a life is never something to be proud of, but there was no shame in what you did in Volterra. The strength of will and compassion you showed there, those things I am proud of, and I have no doubt that Adam will see it the same way. And if he doesn't, well, I'll just have your brothers knock some sense into him for you," he said, just a hint of humor in his tone at the last. I heard Edward chuckle at that, interrupting the quiet conversation he was having with Bella about baby names. I lifted my head and showed dad the half smile I wore.
"Love you, dad. Don't wait up," I said, managing to insert a cheeky tone into my voice and then went upstairs to put on my bathing suit under my clothes and grab a couple of towels. I was taking Adam to the hotsprings, where he could at least be comfortable while we discussed darker topics. After telling Sarah to give their dad his love, Adam shut his phone and went into the kitchen to eat the sandwich Esme had just put together for him. I hugged mom and then led Adam out of the house.
"I think I'm ready to tell you about Italy now," I said softly an hour later. Adam and I were neck deep in hot water, my head pillowed on his shoulder. The hot spring was nestled in a grotto half way up a small mountain surrounded by trees. There was a small strip of clear, star sprinkled sky visible above, which Adam had been looking at.
"Okay," he said, his arm tightening around me as his gaze dropped to my face. I lifted a hand and rested my fingers against his face so I could read his expression. He wore his serious frown and I tried to soothe away the lines with the tips of my fingers. It was a futile effort I knew, so I began to talk.
"Do you remember when I told you that Aro asked me to dance for the Volturi during their feeding time?" I asked tentatively. I saw the shift in his field of vision as he nodded.
"And you told me you didn't drink from any of the humans that night," he said cautiously, as if afraid I would tell him that I'd lied when I told him that. I stroked his face again.
"And I didn't. I told you about that incident with Mac and Roan. That's the only time I've tasted human blood," I said softly.
"Then why did you tense up when Edward mentioned your perfect record? I know you aren't ashamed of it and I believe you when you say you haven't killed any humans," Adam said, confusion evident in his deep voice. I winced at his choice of words and tried to pull away from him, but he held me tightly enough that I'd have to hurt him to get away. I rested my forehead against the side of his neck and sighed.
"I came very close to losing control that day. So close that if the little boy hadn't been begging for his momma, I would have given into the temptation," I said darkly. Adam began to stroke the back of my hair, as if urging me to continue.
"Alec was holding a little boy, no more than seven if I had to guess, and made him watch while Jane tortured his mother. I knew I couldn't save them, Adam. But I couldn't let those monsters toy with them like that. I..." I trailed off then, as if unwilling to say the words out loud. As if sensing my hesitance, Adam ventured a guess, no doubt remembering that I told him the Volturi had been angry with me.
"You attacked Jane and Alec?" he ventured and I shook my head.
"No, that would have gotten me killed. I did the only thing I could to ease their suffering. I killed them," I said, making myself say the words this time. I waited what seemed like an eternity for Adam's reaction, though it was only two seconds. He went utterly still beneath me, even his breathing stopped for a full five seconds before he drew in a shuddering breath. I drew some form of comfort in that fact that his grip on me didn't loosen. But when his body started vibrating, a shard of dread skittered down my spine.
"You had to kill the boy and his mother?" The question was voiced in a strained whisper. I curled my fingers against his chest and told him the truth.
"Yes, and not just them. I killed seven people that night, all in the name of mercy. Better a quick, painless death than torture at the hands of sadistic vampires," I said desperately. I was almost ashamed that I tried to justify my actions to him, but Jasper had said those very words to me on more than one occasion and I believed them to be true. Hopefully, so would Adam. I wasn't so sure about that when he pushed me away and scrambled out of the pool only seconds before he phased. It was a close enough thing that a piece of his shredded shorts fell across my shoulder in the water.
I had known that he might be upset enough to phase. My usually laid back mate was hard to rile up, which actually made him rather atypical amongst his packmates. He was slow to anger and slower still to the kind of rage that precipitated an uncontrolled phase. Of course it wasn't only rage that caused it. Any strong negative emotion could trigger the change. I really wished I had Jasper with me right now, so that I might know what exactly Adam was feeling. Or better yet, Edward, to tell me exactly what he was thinking.
Adam hadn't left the vicinity. I heard his large padded paws pacing less than a quarter mile away, punctuated by snarls and the occasional hair raising howl. The fact that he was still nearby gave me hope that he wasn't going to leave me. I knew how ridiculous that fear was, knowing what being his imprint meant, but it was still impossible not to worry just a little. I didn't go to him, wanting to give him time to sort out his thoughts and calm down enough to revert back to his human form. Instead, I left the water and toweled off before pulling my clothes back on.
"Lei-love, come here," Adam said ten minutes later when he had gained enough control to change back to his human form. The endearment and the soft, apologetic tone of his voice eased the worst of my fears and I darted out of the grotto to where he stood, several hundred yards down the side of the mountain. When he immediately gathered me in his arms and buried his face in my damp hair, I relaxed completely. No matter what he thought, I knew we would be okay.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you when I phased. I'm not angry with you, Leia. I'm horrified that you were put into the position to make that kind of decision. I know you cherish human life as much as your father and to be forced to take not one, but seven, it must have destroyed you," he whispered brokenly, his body shuddering. I felt the warm dampness of tears against my scalp and was overcome when I realized Adam was crying. Each tear he shed was precious to me because he could grieve the loss of life and innocence in a way I never could. I tilted my head up and pulled his head down so that I could kiss the salty tears from his cheeks.
"Thank you. It took me a long time to come to terms with my actions. I still struggle, so it eases my heart to know you aren't disgusted or revolted by what I chose to do," I said, my voice low and filled with all the love I felt for this man. He swept me into his arms and rained kisses on over my face.
"You acted out of compassion, Leia. There is no shame in that, despite the tragedy of lost life. They were dead already, my love, you just put a quick end to their suffering. My beautiful Angel of Mercy," he said softly, rocking me gently in his arms. I was shocked by the last, but should not have been surprised that he would color me in such an idealized manner. I opened my mouth to tenderly disabuse him of that notion, but he silenced me with a quick kiss.
"Don't, Leia. You will never see yourself the way others do, I know, but trust me when I say you possess a lot of angelic qualities. Compassion, mercy, love, selflessness. That's not to say you don't have an impish side as well," he said, his voice suddenly lighter, slightly teasing. I raised an eyebrow.
"Impish?" I asked with a half smile. He nodded, his hair brushing against the side of my face. I felt his grin with my fingers.
"You're mischievous, unpredictable and have a clear precedent for getting yourself into trouble," he said with a low chuckle. It seemed as if the previous subject might be dropped for now and I was grateful. I gave him what I hoped was a seductive smile.
"I happen to think those are admirable qualities, my love. In fact, what say we find out just what kind of trouble we can get into before morning," I suggested. His low growl of approval sent a shiver of desire through me and he began trotting back up the slope towards the grotto.
"I don't think we had a chance to properly appreciate the hot springs, did we?"