"We will prolong the chemotherapy for another three weeks. To give your body time to recover, we will pause for a few days, after that I want you to come here again twice a week." Dr. Barlington explained quietly.
Shocked Ephram listened to him. When he had come here, he had expected to get his last chemo. And now he would have to go through another three weeks? He had thought he was getting better, not worse. That feeling miserable the last six weeks had been good for something. And now he was told that it had been all for nothing?
Andy's heart shattered as he watched his son taking in this information. He had meant to tell him himself. He had wanted Ephram to be prepared for this news. But whenever he had thought it was the right time, he hadn't been able to say the words.
"Don't lose hope over this, Ephram." Dr. Barlington went on. "This is a step back, but it's not the end. Another cycle of chemotherapy isn't as bad as it sounds."
"Sure." Ephram pressed out.
"We'll get through this Ephram." Andy said, taking his son's hand in his.
"Yeah ..." Ephram said quietly. "So, uhm, I guess I should go. My last ... my next chemo is waiting."
XXXXXXX
Anxiously Ephram waited for Cassie. Her chemo was supposed to have started 20 minutes ago. She had never been late before. And he really needed to talk with her. She had been through this before. She knew how it felt to find out that your last chemo wasn't that ... that it was just another one in a long row of other chemotherapies. He would have to go through this for another three weeks and this time he didn't know for sure that after three weeks it would be over.
Cassie had already been through that three times. He needed to listen to her talk about how easy it all was. She always had this great way to make him believe it really was.
"Uhm, excuse me, Nurse Laurie?" He asked one of the nurses he saw almost every time he was here.
"Is everything all right, Ephram?"
"Oh yeah, yeah." He lied. Nothing was all right. "I was wondering where Cassie is? I thought she would be here today."
"Her appointment has been cancelled." Laurie told him in a sad voice. "She has been admitted to the hospital yesterday."
"What?" For the second time today Ephram felt as if the bottom of his world dropped out below him. "What happened?"
"I don't know. I'm sorry." Laurie thought for a moment. For the last three weeks she had watched these two young people forming a friendship during this hard time in their life. She had hoped it would end good for both of them. "I could find out which room she is in. If you want to visit her."
"That would be great, thanks." Ephram smiled at her gratefully.
XXXXXX
"Ready to go home, Ephram?" Andy tried to put up his best smile when he saw his son walking towards him.
"Uhm, actually, could we stay a while longer? I want to see Cassie."
"Cassie?" Confused Andy looked at his son.
"She was admitted to the hospital yesterday. I just want to make sure she's all right."
Andy felt as if he was kicked into the stomach. He didn't want Ephram to see her. He wanted to protect him from anything that might show him what could happen to people with leukemia. "I think it would be better if we go home right away. You always feel tired after your chemo. You should ..."
"I know how I feel, Dad." Ephram cut in sharply. "I just want to say hi."
"Sure you do." Andy gave in. How could he not. "Let's go."
A few minutes later Ephram stepped into Cassie's room. He tried to hide his shock at her appearance. She looked more frail than ever and there were all kind of monitors and tubes connected to her body.
"Ephram." Cassie called out surprised. Her voice sounded weak. "What are you doing here?"
"You think you can get out of our weekly meeting by staying here?" Ephram teased her. He pulled a chair next to her bed. He never could stand long after a chemo.
"I should have known it wouldn't work." She laughed.
The smile on Ephram's lips faded when he saw how much strength that laughter had cost her. "What happened?" He asked quietly.
She shrugged. "I collapsed ... again. Only this time I couldn't get up."
They fell silent for a while.
"How long do you have to stay here?" Ephram asked after a moment.
Again she shrugged. "Not long, I think."
"That's good."
"Yeah." Something sad flickered though her eyes, but it was gone so fast, Ephram wasn't sure if he had really seen it.
"You should go home. I know you want to lie down." Cassie told him.
"Why does everyone want me to lie down?" Ephram asked smiling.
She smiled back at him, the warm smile that had made him like her from the first moment. "We're just worried about you."
"You get well fast, okay?"
"I will." She took his hand before he could get up. "Ephram ... thank you."
"What for?"
"Just ... for everything. It ... helped ... having you around. It was good talking to you."
Ephram looked at her confused. Something was strange about her behavior, but he couldn't quite grasp what it was. "Well, you're lucky then. I'll be here for three more weeks."
"Oh Ephram, I'm sorry." She squeezed his hand. It was so weak, he hardly felt it. "Promise me you will beat this. Don't let the cancer win."
"I'll try." Ephram swallowed. "I should go now. I'll be back in a few days."
"Good bye, Ephram."
"Bye." He waved at her shortly and then stepped out into the corridor where his father was waiting for him.
"Hi. How is she doing?" Andy asked worried. He hoped it wasn't anything too serious.
"She's so weak." Ephram replied quietly.
"That's probably why she's here. I'm sure she'll be fine soon."
"You sure?"
Andy swallowed. Ephram looked at him as if he knew all the answers in the world. The last time he had seen that look in his son's eyes had been when he was still a little boy. "I'm sure." He assured him. And he hoped he was right.
XXXXXXX
Feeling relieved Amy walked up the stairs to Ephram's room. She had somehow survived the last six weeks without breaking down. And now it was finally over. No more chemo, no more visits to the hospital. Ephram would be fine. He would gain his strength back. And his appetite. She had already started planning all kind of dinners she would cook for him. She would make sure he would recover fast.
Things were finally getting better.
When she stepped into Ephram's room, she saw him sitting on his bed. That was already a good step in the right direction. Usually he would still be asleep when she came to see him after school.
"Hey Ephram. " She sat down next to him and they exchanged a short kiss.
"Hi."
"How was your last chemo?"
Ephram stayed silent and searched for the best words to tell her. "It wasn't." Was all he could come up with.
"What wasn't?" Amy asked confused.
"It wasn't my last chemo."
"But I thought ..."
"I need another three weeks. I have a few days off, but that's all." Ephram explained quietly.
"Wh-what does that mean?" Amy stammered.
"Dr. Barlington did a test the last time. The cancer isn't gone yet. There ... there are still too many leukima cells in my blood." Ephram did his best to talk in a steady voice. He didn't want her to see how scared he was. He just wanted her with him. Then he would get through this.
"I ..." Amy sat frozen next to Ephram, unable to say anything or even move. She tried to comprehend what he was telling her. The cancer wasn't gone. More chemo. More sickness. He would get even weaker ... "I can't do this." She whispered.
His world shattered. "What?" Ephram looked at her, afraid of what she might say next.
"I can't do this, Ephram. I ... I'm sorry." She got up and started pacing around the room. "The last few weeks were ... it was a nightmare. I keep seeing Colin and then you and ... I don't want to lose you, Ephram, but I can't see you suffer like this. I can't." Tears were rolling down her face when she stood before him.
Ephram sat frozen on the bed. This couldn't be true. "So, what ... what does that mean? Are you ..." He swallowed. "Are you breaking up?"
"I'm sorry, Ephram." She said between sobs.
Ephram got up from the bed. He couldn't just sit here while she ... His world started to spin. He had gotten up to quickly. He put his hand on the wall to keep his balance and took some deep breaths. His closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, he saw Amy and he knew it was over.
"Every step of the way, huh? Yeah right." He hissed in a bitter voice.
"Ephram ..."
"Just get out." He turned away from her.
"I'm so sorry."
"So am I." He took another deep breath. "Get out!"
Amy looked at Ephram for a few moments. She didn't want to go but at the same time she knew she couldn't stay. She wiped her tears away and stepped out of the room.
When he heard the door close behind her, Ephram hit his fist against the wall. It hurt but he welcomed the pain. Anything was better than the pain he was feeling inside of him. He could feel the bile rise up in this throat. Tears started to roll down his cheeks. He wanted this to stop.
His legs suddenly felt weak and he sagged down on the floor. He grabbed the waste basket that stood nearby and started throwing up. This time he wasn't sure if it was because of the chemo.
TBC