To my reviewers:
JINX: Hollow has bipolar disorder (hence her "highs" and "lows" of mood that drive Demeter a little crazy), ADHD (restless and easily distracted, like on her little errands for Ax), and disorganized schizophrenia (only slightly, mostly because of her disorganized thinking and behavior). I'm thinking of writing something involving the Greek myths and religion, but I have yet to do it. (shrugs) If I do, I'll note in the one of the chapters of "Empath's Streets" or any stories that follow.
Weirdo: Both that and the dream in the first chapter were supposed to be italicized, but fanfic sometimes messes with my chapters. At least the story isn't affected, just the text. (wipes sweat off forehead) I personally love Pro, but I can't give him any major parts until at least Chapter Twelve or so on. Feh.
GO2 NO2: Don't worry about that! I'm thinking of doing a prequel for this too, as will be explained in the next paragraph. (points down)
A/N: I'm thinking of doing a prequel to this, called, "A Sight of Blue", based on Irey 951's POV. I always liked the Yeerks (every Animorph extremist grabs a pitchfork and points it at me) and wanted to do a story that involved their world. ASOB would involve Irey and the other Yeerks early interactions with Seerow and the other Andalites, the aftermath of the Quantum virus's effects on the Hork-Bajir and the Yeerks in them, and the beginnings of the Earth invasion and Yeerk resistance. Special focus on the characters of Seerow, Aftran, and Esplin (before he got EXTREMELY eviiil). The chapters will probably only be about 1000 or 2000 words long, and less than 20 chapters in it. I'll need at least three of your—the reviewers'—votes on this. Let me know if you want it.
A/N: This, hopefully, will be the last chapter I struggle with and feel awkward about afterwards. Believe me, I got writer's block about three times, so this isn't my best work. (shrugs) This starts off as comic relief (Marco driving and such), so the first part was simple enough. However, I'm trying to keep to Mind the Green Bit's comment on how Dem and Ax's crews haven't interacted enough between each other, so here you go. Goes from funny to serious in three point five seconds. haha
A/N: This chapter is partially conceived of by my FEAR of driving a vehicle. Some things were inspired by nightmares, such as the songs on the radio. You have been warned.
&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&
Chapter Ten: Surrounded by Crazy People
Voices. Mumbling. Grumbling. My head twitched, flicking from side to side, listening, wondering if those voices would soon form faces. No, no! I was safe. Somewhat. I hid underneath a canvas of dark fabric enveloping the branch I lay on, digging my claws into its smooth, hairy texture. I ignored the warnings sent from my tongue to my Jacobson's organ, which told me that the branch was made of human flesh. Ignore it. Panicking enough already. Focus.
Suddenly, the sky above me collapsed as an object pushed into it, smothering me. My heart started skipping beats and I opened my maw, ready to sink my sharp, sickle-shaped teeth into my attacker. It pressed into my side, and I struck! Through the fabric, I tasted the sweaty skin of human.
"Ax-man, cut it out! Do you have control of that lizard brain, yet?" Marco said, trying to pull his finger out of my jaws. I twisted my head to the side, but the hide was tough and wouldn't tear… I wrestled with the lizard and finally my Andalite thoughts overcame the banded gecko. Carefully, I released my hold.
(Yes,) I said meekly. The voices came from Tobias and Marco, both arguing about the situation. Despite his protest at Marco's plot, Tobias had reluctantly morphed human and carried me, as a lizard, into the school after I requested it a few times. My mind had been struggling with the gecko's fright for a few minutes, even when Marco shoved me up his sleeve.
"This is ridiculous. You could have at least studied for your exam like everyone else," Tobias said.
"Most of it, but c'mon. It's all a bunch of useless memorization. Stop and Yield. Why do we need two signs with the same meaning? And what idiot doesn't know that things get 'slippery when wet'? Just some boring that slips your mind when you sit down to take the stupid test," Marco complained. I clung tighter to his skin as he threw his arms up.
"Something tells me you only read one chapter," Tobias muttered. "And if it keeps you from even getting inside a car cause you flunk the test, I'm pretty proud of the American education system. Especially after all the crap we went through with you behind the wheel."
"I've never killed or injured anyone!" Marco objected.
I poked my head out from the cuff of Marco's sweatshirt. (Tobias and I almost skewered each other after you crashed into the side of a slaughterhouse. And, no one was injured during the time, but you did demolish Cassie's father's vehicle.)
"Actually, I think Marco nearly killed himself that time," Tobias corrected.
"I was thirteen! And we were playing hide-and-seek with the Veleek!" Marco groaned.
"Well, Ax, you seem to have a decent recollection of Marco's Fast and Furious episodes," Tobias drawled. "Now, you also know that if Marco passes the test, you won't have the time or privacy to leap off and escape before he starts driving. Why are you doing this? Did he bribe you with flea powder again?"
"That was long before Ax became a good friend," Marco said indignantly. "I would never, ever do such a dirty-handed scheme anymore. Ax is simply doing this because he's—"
(Marco offered to pay thirty dollars worth of your currency on anything I wished at the food court if he manages to surpass the written examination and later attain a driver's license,) I said.
"But, Ax, it's, well, cheating. We don't have any laws on morphing, for obvious reasons, but I think this would qualify as a crime," Tobias said. "Not to mention the whole suicidal factor of being within one hundred feet of Marco driving. If you don't die now, Jake's going to kill you… Does he know about this?"
"Not now, but in a few years. With the Yeerk war going on, I don't think Big Jake needs anymore stress. At this rate, he'll have a heart attack," Marco said.
"Just like your driving instructor." Tobias buried his face into his hands. "You're unbelievable. Ax, it was great having you as an uncle. I promise to leave cinnamon buns and chocolate and popcorn on your grave marking." His body started decreasing in size in the handicapped stall of the restroom, arms cracking and arranging themselves into wings. "I'm taking to the air before the body count starts rising."
"You know, most people would wish us good luck," Marco grumbled. "Or break a leg."
(Good luck, Ax. Hope you survive without any lasting trauma,) Tobias said. He was below my line of sight, but I heard the shuffle and click of talons as he slipped under the stall door and the flutter of pinions as he flew out the window Marco had left open for him. (Marco, break a leg or two in the crash.)
I flicked my tongue and shut my mouth in disgust as the lavatory scents became more evident without another human's odor to overpower them. Even with my distance-impaired vision, I could see the dank green tiles on the floor, the pale tan shade of the stall door, and the oddly shaped, white toilet seat. Both the gecko and I wanted a fresher scented place, with plenty of plump insects for the lizard and turfs of grass for myself. However, I focused on my goal: answer thirty questions about primitive terrain vehicles and how to operate them on the road. For every question right, one hundred cents of Earth currency could be used on anything at the distribution area known as the mall. Cinnamon buns, pizza, diesel fuel, fried chicken, cigarette butts, wanton soup, ketchup… Every ingenious invention of Homo sapiens laid a mere test away.
Why did I need to be a reptile for this mission? I would hide under the sleeve of Marco's artificial skin, peeking out from underneath the cuff to read the questions and give the correct answer to him. The lizard eyes, though poor for seeing vast distances, had adapted to spot prey close by even in the darkest light. I did feel slightly guilty about what Tobias called "cheating" and had even mentioned it to Marco, but he informed me that a war was constantly raged between teachers and students in human society, and they would use their own underhanded tricks such as "pop quizzes" and "one-thousand-word essays" to fail students. No wonder human technological advancement was so far behind… (A/N: 1).
"Ready?" Marco asked.
(Yes. I have exactly one hundred and three of your minutes left in morph,) I said.
"They're everyone's minutes, Ax. So, the test should only take about three minutes with your help and half hour driving," Marco calculated.
I narrowed my beady eyes. (Are you suggesting it'll take as long as six of your seconds for me to answer each question?)
"Well, you can take your time if you want. No need to hurry—" Marco began.
(Six seconds?) I continued. (That's very insulting. One is all I'll need.)
"Oookay. Knock yourself out. Didn't mean to offend you," Marco said. "Let's go."
I scrambled backwards as Marco drew the cover of black fabric over me. The sudden darkness calmed whatever nervousness remained in the gecko, not even bothered by Marco's gait and smell. The lasted forty-three seconds until the world—or rather, Marco's arm—tilted and dropped lower toward the ground, suggesting he had sat behind one of the desks. Voices of other human adolescents grumbled and tittered shakily and excitedly around us. A male human's louder voice silenced them, then I heard the stomp of thick, artificial hooves hitting the ground and the rustle of paper.
I peeked to see the white sheet with questions neatly placed down the sides, as well as Marco's hand scratching his name across the top. The area I perched on slid closer to the question sheet and I nearly laughed at the simplicity of the questions. Actually, I did.
"Just give me the answers, would you?" Marco groaned.
I stopped chuckling and scanned the questions. (A, D, D, B, C, B, C, A, D—)
"Slow down," Marco hissed. "And watched the claws." I loosened my grip on his arm, relying only on the miniscule hairs in the pads of my toes.
"Marco, what was that you just said?" the adult male asked. "Are you sharing answers with Theo and Jacob back there?"
"Huh? No! I was, uh, reading to myself," Marco said. "And what are the laws—"
"Other students are taking the test!"
"But you—"
"Quiet!"
I began to understand what Marco had meant about the teacher/student war. Marco lowered his head back towards the desk, muttering, "Jerk." I read the answers at half the speed as before, waiting patiently for Marco to fill in the circles, and finished it in a time of forty-two seconds—would've been twenty-nine, if Marco could've written faster. Six seconds, hmph. Marco waited another two minutes, which I thought was strange until I noticed that the others in his class had yet to get halfway through the sheet. "Mr. Kampf, I'm finished. So, do we start driving now?"
"Let me see that." A hairy, thick-veined hand snatched the sheet off the desk and quickly scanned the paper, slack-jawed. "How could you…. You never even pay attention in here." He sighed. "Thirty out of thirty." He glared at Marco. "Get that smart aleck look off your face. You still have the driving portion of the examination to do."
More moving. I tucked my head further up Marco's sleeve, so the human teacher didn't happen to spot my arrow-shaped skull by chance. A couple minutes passed… Almost only an hour left in morph… I could tell by the odors and the increased warmth of Marco's hoodie that we had stepped outside into the sun, and the click and smack of doors signaled we had entered the car. Marco drummed his fingers along the steering until there was a clinks of metal and I spotted the gleam of keys in his hand.
(Put on your seatbelt,) I said as Marco inserted the keys into the side of the steering mechanism. (That's one of the three most likely reasons you'll die in a crash if you neglect it.)
"Got ya," Marco said, clicking the belt into place.
(You didn't need to reply…. Where's your instructor?) I asked.
"He went to go check his German class," Marco answered.
(I thought he taught Driver's Ed?) I asked.
"The budgeting sort of got cut with the whole No Child Left Behind crap going around. We share teachers in the extra classes. Let's just say we watch Jurassic Park and Terminator a lot in that class," Marco said. He started messing with the buttons in-between the driver and passenger's seats. "Let's see if there's anything good on…"
"Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights? If you can baby boy then we can go all night. Cos I'm 0 to 60 in three point five. Baby you got the keys. Now shut up and drive! Drive, drive—"
"Freaking irony…" Marco grumbled.
(Marco, please change it,) I muttered. (No offense, I don't like most human high-pitched vocal noises, but this is awful.)
"Agree." He pressed another button.
"Did a great figure eight, in the middle of the interstate. Tires squeal wherever we go. Even hitchhikers just say no. She drives like crazy—"
"This is getting ridiculous," Marco grunted. Another button clicked.
"You wanted in and now you're here. Driven by hate, consumed by fear. Let the bodies hit the floor—"
Click.
(Marco, I'm not superstitious, but maybe you shouldn't drive today,) I said.
"Ax, no one is going to die," Marco assured me. He turned off the stereo and leaned back into the seat. "I just need to drive around the parking lot a couple times, park the car, check the mirrors and turn signals, and zip along the highway for fifteen minutes. Nothing's going to happen."
The door to our right opened and a massive form slid in, giving Marco a raised eyebrow as I ducked back into hiding. "Whom were you talking to?"
"Myself. Confidence booster," Marco said quickly. "So, um, what first?"
"Back out of the parking space and circle around twice," Mr. Kampf droned.
The car jerked and almost seemed to jump up as Marco drove in reverse, but I didn't hear anything crash or break or scream, so everything seemed all right. The car continued its backward crawl and I could feel the tendons in Marco's hands tighten as he concentrated on the steady speed.
(Hey, there he is! Marco, its Vert and me,) Mercury called.
SCREECH! I dug my nails into Marco's arm before I could be flung forwards and onto the windshield or something worse. CRUUUNCH! The car came to a sudden halt and Marco and Mr. Kampf's bodies slammed into the dash. The gecko begged to run and escape whatever mayhem waited. What had I been thinking? Was free food worth one's life? Well… Maybe things wouldn't get too worse.
(Doing a marvelous job, hon,) Vertigo said. (Just don't hit any more trees.)
"Marco! What are you doing?" Mr. Kampf snarled.
"Sorry, sir," Marco said. "Caffeine rush finally kicking into gear. Whew. Now, what did you want? Drive around the lot twice?"
"Let's do three to be safe," Mr. Kampf muttered. "Wollen wir den Fußgängern eine Chance geben zu laufen." (A/N: 2)
For once, Marco didn't snap out a retort. The vehicle flung itself forward, changing pace as Marco applied more and less pressure on the gas and brake. Fast, slow, fast, slow. Ignoring the dizziness started to buzz in the back of my head, I stuck my head out for a brief second. Two ebony ravens circled overhead, following the car's path.
(Marco, there's a lizard on you,) Mercury said. (Oh, wait. Which one of you guys is there? Cassie, Jake, Tobias?)
(Aximili,) I answered. (Don't fly behind the car. Humans, especially Controllers, will notice your movements.)
(They'll just think we're going after all the road kill Marco piles up for us,) Vertigo said. (Speaking of carrion, Marco, there's a squirrel in front of you! Watch out!)
The car swung to the right, the momentum flinging me out of Marco's sleeve and onto the filthy, reeking floor in between his feet. I felt the machine slam into the curb and slid underneath the brake just as Marco pressed downward. I scrambled out of the way and squealed as it crushed my tail. The gecko went into a frightened ad hysterical mode, seizing control of my body and I ran, feeling a slight tug and the weight of the crushed appendage disappeared.
"What is going on in your head?" Mr. Kampf asked bluntly.
"There was a squirrel and…" Marco patted his sleeve and swore. "Shit, where'd he go?"
"Where did who go? Are you on drugs?" Mr. Kampf asked. "Never mind. I don't want to know. Get off the sidewalk and park by the gymnasium's entrance. The school needs this vehicle for the other students."
(Marco, I'm on the floor. I just lost my tail and some blood, I think,) I said.
(Vert, that's not a squirrel. That's a scarf, you idiot!) Mercury said.
(Whoops.)
"I'm going to kill them," Marco muttered. His foot pressed down on the gas and despite the microscopic hairs on my feet and my claws, I slid back underneath the brake. I tried to sprint away across the pebbly, dirt covered carpeting, but one of my hind legs got caught on something sticky. Marco's other foot started pushing the rectangular object down towards me.
(No! Marco, I'm stuck! If you press down on the brake, you'll squash me!) I said. (Please, if you don't mind, DON'T KILL ME!)
"For the love of… Now what are you doing?" Mr. Kampf asked.
"Uh, parallel parking?" Marco asked sheepishly.
"At sixty-six miles per hour?!" Mr. Kampf shouted.
"Um, yes?"
Before Mr. Kampf could say anything else, I heard the ominous noise of metal crunching and squeaking and bending as it hit more metal. Bodies thumped and jerked and there was a crack of glass. The gecko's bladder released itself as Marco's driving managed to toss me away from the brake. Trembling, I limped to the seat and climbed up it, then scaled Marco's side and collapsed on his shoulder. Marco groaned and leaned back into his seat.
"Owww. Whiplash. Good thing you reminded me about the seat belt," Marco said. "Uh, Mr. Kampf?"
The teacher sat slumped unconsciousness, a line of drool dripping from his lower lip and a rivulet of red dribbling down his forward. On the passenger side window I could see a tiny crack. Marco pressed his fingers tentatively against the man's neck.
(Is he dead?) Mercury asked. (See, Vert, this is why I hate automobiles!)
Marco withdrew his hand and gave a thumb up. "Still alive and breathing. Just a little concussion."
(What the heck?) Tobias suddenly yelled and I spotted the scarlet-tailed dot soaring amidst the clouds toward us. (I leave to get a mouse and you kill your teacher.)
"He's not dead!" Marco shouted, opening the door, pressing the catch on his seat belt, and sliding out unsteadily. His hand curled around me and tucked me into his sweatshirt's pocket. I curled up and tried to stop the spinning in my head. "Can't believe I hit that stupid Dumpster. And here comes Chapman."
(Hey, Marco, if you get Chapman to substitute, that'll be one less Controller,) Tobias drawled.
"Shut up! Oh, not you, Mr. Chapman. Yeah, I… What do you mean I failed?"
&/&/&/&/&
By the time Marco had discussed the situation to the vice principal/Controller Chapman, the ambulance, and a couple frustrated peers who seemed more peeved at not being able to drive rather than the condition of Mr. Kampf—a few of the more sadistic ones congratulated him, disturbing as that seems, I had dashed off in the gecko's damaged body, found a place to demorph, and morph human. I had successfully put on artificial skins, even the annoying hooves, and walked a couple blocks away from the school. Tobias glided above the stumpy maple tree I sat under, landing smoothly onto its thick branches. We'd chosen an area known as a "playground" to meet up in, where many humans younger than the age of puberty played games involving crude metallic structures they climbed on, swung upon, and other varieties of entertainment.
A group of human children had begun a game of chase and catch around the structures, but they cavorted far enough away that I could easily engage in conversation with Tobias without the use of thought-speak. Tobias preened his feathers with his hooked beak and cocked his head at me.
(Ax, I may regret asking this, but why do you have a belt around your neck?) he asked.
"I have seen humans ew-means wear these objects jects like this isss. Hm, that sound is isss almost as delightful deal-lite-fill as z's.," I observed. "It's part of their ear trend, I believe. I'm trying eye-ing to understand stand human styles iles. It is uncomfortable, though."
(That's because you pretty much have it tightened into a noose,) Tobias said wearily. (What humans do that?)
"The ones who wear air an excessive amount ount of black artificial skins and enjoy self-mutilation ation by piercing sing bits of metal tall through their flesh," I said. "I've seen een many of them. Emmm. Is masochism another human man trend?"
Tobias paused in thought, picking between his talons. (Please don't tell me you're trying to be Goth. Take it off. The belt's not even black and you aren't emo.)
"Eeeem-mooo," I tested the word, but complied, laying the belt on the grass beside me. I had to admit, breathing did become easier without the restraint. "How ow is Marco?"
(Thought you'd never ask. The medics think Mr. Kampf's only suffered a concussion and Marco can say the brakes were shoddy,) Tobias said. (Not that his teacher or Chapman'll let him drive again anytime soon. He got booted from Driver's Ed till next year.)
"There was nothing wrong with the brakes," I said, raising an eyebrow.
(Yes, Ax. Yes there was. Some random blonde and under appreciated nothlit destroyed the car's braking system for a laugh LONG before Marco got in it. That's the story,) Tobias said. (What? He owes me. Hey, it was that or expulsion for him. Even I'm not cruel enough to have him kicked out of high school.) He sighed. (And here comes our delinquent friend now, with Vertigo and Mercury in tow.)
Marco trudged toward us, head lowered and eyes narrowed. He no longer wore the sweatshirt in the burning sun, but just a shirt. On each side of him, occasionally grabbing an arm in earnest, were Vertigo and Mercury, lips a blur. For once they didn't don thin wrap-around sheets called "skirts", but long-legged coverings called "jeans" and chest coverings that hid more than revealed. Mercury, for some reason, still wore the needle-like stilts on her feet.
Marco rolled his eyes skyward and pulled away from them, slumping on my right side. Mercury drifted to his side, while Vertigo sat on mine.
"I was this close," Marco said in exasperation, holding his arm out and pressing his thumb and forefinger together. "This close to getting a license and driving."
(That close to raising the death rate in the state,) Tobias muttered.
"For the sixtieth time, we're sorry for distracting you," Mercury said. "I don't see what the big hype is all about. A vehicle is just a tin can death trap. I say trust your feet. Or a bike."
(Don't apologize! You may have saved lives today,) Tobias said.
"Well, actually, we might just have helped hurt that teach," Vertigo said, wincing.
"He'll live," Mercury said.
"Marco, you can an fly ie as an osprey or seagull. Sea gal. Why do you need eed to travel in such a…" I searched for the right and least offensive word. "…antiquated automobile. In fact, hasn't the use of them raised your planet's temperature?"
"Maybe, Al Gore." Marco sighed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. "Listen, Ax, think of it like this: would an Andalite lady prefer a guy with wheels or the guy who hasn't even gotten a license? Answer me."
"Actually, Andalites dal-lites get their, uh, 'license' at the equivalent of ten human years ears of life. Ife," I said, somewhat nervously, as I noticed Marco clenching his jaw.
"What? Are you serious?" Marco demanded and I nodded slowly. "God, why did I have to be human?" His fingers dug into my collarbone absentmindedly.
"Oh, geez. You wanted to drive because you could pick up girls? Guys are all alike." Mercury rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Here, then." She grabbed him by the chin and tilted his head toward her. Before he could move away, she leaned forward and plastered her thick lips against his. His eyes opened wide in surprise and he jerked back, but Mercury had basically glued herself to him. She pulled back with a satisfied smirk. "Happy now? No car needed. Now, that'll be ten bucks."
(Um, wow,) Tobias commented. (Marco, are you still conscious?)
"Uh-huh," Marco mumbled, blinking to clear his eyes. "You know, , if I didn't know you probably do that to a lot of guys, I'd forget about everyone asking me if I had tried to commit first degree murder at school."
"Well, I tried," Mercury said, sighing. She reached into her pocket for a pack of cigarettes, popped one into her mouth, and lit it. "You know, if you happened to forget the whole hustler thing, you might remember I saved your ass by running full out at a fricking red, psychopathic dino-alien."
"Which also means you're crazy like Rachel," Marco said, grinning.
Mercury pursed her lips and stuck her tongue at him. "I'm going to burn you." She waved the cigarette a few inches from his face.
Marco laughed. "What a lady."
"Asshole," Mercury said and chuckled.
Shaking his head at their behavior, Vertigo inclined his head towards mine and nudged my side with his elbow. "I've got a present for you," he whispered. I stared at him and his lips peeled back into a mischievous grin. "Don't tell the others. They won't let me give it to you if they see it." He stood, wiped bits of weeds and flecks of dirt from his jeans, and pulled me up as well. "Come on."
Tobias turned his head at us. (Where are you going?)
Vertigo jerked a thumb at Marco and Mercury. "Leaving Mer and her customer to their business." At that, Marco flushed a pinkish shade and Mercury laughed. "You staying with them, Tobias?"
(Eh, no. I didn't get the mouse earlier, so I'll have to try again,) Tobias sighed, opening his wings and stretching them to their full width.
"Ick. Maybe you should consider a vegan diet," Vertigo said, blanching. "Don't mice carry the Black Plague or something?"
(No, that's rats and that a thousand years ago, dude,) Tobias said with a laugh. (Tell me though if they start selling Veggie Rodent at Walmart.) He left and a couple human kids shrieked with enjoyment as he glided above them, awed by the red tail feathers, before he caught a thermal and disappeared into the clouds.
"Show off," Marco said.
Mercury grinned. "This coming from the guy who makes jokes while juggling Hork-Bajir."
Vertigo went toward the more wooded side of the park, with maples, pines, and elms crowding closer together like sentries. He surveyed the area really quickly, appeared happy with the lack of observers, and grabbed his item-holder called a "purse". I went over to a tree stump, brushed a couple red-and-black insects off, and sat down, curious.
He gave a grunt of cheer and pulled out a tiny plastic bag filled with a shredded, dark green substance I couldn't identify. It fit in the palm of his hand and he clenched his fingers around it before tossing it toward me. Human hands and arms faster and more reflexive than my own Andalite limbs, I easily snatched the package out of midair. Baffled, I timidly sniffed it, finding it had an odd, but not unpleasant, odor.
"Talon and Demeter said you Andalites enjoy eating grass. Well, I hope you like the Earth brand," Vertigo said with a weird glint in his eye, sitting down beside me. "Like it?'
Grass? Why would someone give me a bag of grass, when the vegetation was so common in the area I lived in? Maybe it was a type of joke, then. Unsure of any other possible alternatives, I rolled the bag in my hand and laughed.
"What's so funny, love?" Vertigo asked.
"This is—aha—supposed to be humorous—ha ha ha—correct, ect?" I said, having a difficult time playing with syllables while chuckling. "Because oz I am an Andalite lite and my kind depend end on grass—he he ha ha—for survival, ool, you meant this to be funny. Aha!"
Now Vertigo laughed and patted my shoulder. "No! Not this stuff!" He bent down and yanked a handful of green shoots, letting the leaves drift away from his fingers. "That stuff is special. You can smoke, eat, or even drink it! It relaxes you and makes everything hilarious and fun, Axie. Just don't show it to Marco or the others. They'll get finicky ideas about it. Actually, you might just want to hide it for now and enjoy it later. Like, after a mission."
"Oh, um, thank ank you ew. I shall," I said, stashing the strange plant material in my pocket.
"No need. You saved Mercury from that Yarbets—" Vertigo started.
"Yarbezz. Ezz-zuh," I said.
Vertigo jabbed a finger at me. "Don't correct me, Mr. Stutter. Anyway, you saved her from him and his gang. Don't know what I'd do without that psycho gal. I would've saved her, but there was a lack of arms dealio."
"Does she still want to ew help us fight? Ite?" I asked.
He sighed, blowing a strand of fiery hair from his forehead. "Unfortunately, yes. All of them. Maybe she really wants to save the human race and have your Marco boy, especially since they had a ball messin' with that Screamer guy Set. Demeter wants to save humans and Screamers alike with Meds and you guys' help. Hollow's now in it for the Screamer kids and Talon wants to serve Visser Three's head on a stick. Yummy yum escargot." He got off the stump and laid out on the ground, snapping twigs between his fingers. "I'll make sure they don't get themselves killed. What about you guys?"
Automatically the words "we have to stop the invasion" came to mind, but I could tell he probably wanted me to elaborate on that. Besides, we had our own personal reasons as well as the obvious general one. "Prince Jake and Marco co have family involved, ones that at are Controllers ollers now. If the Yeerks win, they'll not aught only enslave ave the human mon race, but leave the planet plane-at a wasteland and, which Cassie won't allow ow. Rachel, I think, thrives on the fighting and adrenaline. Tobias… I guess est that since eense he's already a nothlit, being involved with the war or helps him hold onto his humanity, as well as his friends. Ends-zuh."
Vertigo waited and glanced at me, tapping my calf with his foot. "And you, hon?"
Somewhere nearby a woodpecker started assaulting a tree with its beak. I listened to the racket and glanced at Vertigo. "The Yeerks are loose because one of my people, Seerow see-roe, enabled abled them to be free eeee from the pools of their ear homeworld and made it possible poz-zib-bell for them to steal our technology ology," I said bitterly. "It's every Andalite males' duty tea to end their plague of infestation."
"Males, eh? No girls in the army?" Vertigo asked. "Guess Women's Lib hasn't kicked in on your planet."
"'Women' would be an incorrect in-core-rec term erm," I said. "Since 'woman' is a word for humans, not Andalites."
Vertigo groaned. "Stupid technicalities. Oh well, we'll debate sexism later." Before I could object to explain that the military allowed females to fight—despite how males are better suited in physical hardship and combat, he said, "How about any personal reasons, like with the others? Do you get a buzz cutting up slugs like Rachel and Talon?"
Despite my disdain for Yeerks, the thought of actually enjoying slaughter repulsed me. "No. O." I picked flecks of bark off the side of the stump as my mind reeled in sudden anger. "Whenever an Andalite is murdered, it's the duty of his or her sibling to avenge their death." I bristled. "Visser Three killed my elder brother, Elfangor."
Vertigo blanched. "So, another revenge story, like Dem and Talon."
"How so?" I asked.
"Well, they both want o get back at him. Besides the whole experiment shinazz that went down because of her empathy, Visser three killed her pap since his Yeerk was the one running the tests. Sick, huh?" he asked.
I nodded. That tidbit of information added to my confusion of why she would willingly work for a Yeerk, along with how she could hear hosts "screaming". I shuddered. Many Andalite warriors would sacrifice their left hind hooves to have the ability to detect Yeerk presence, but after watching the puzzle-skinned girl's reaction by the Pool, I wondered if the price was worth it. "And Talon?"
"Humiliation." Vertigo narrowed his blue eyes at me. "Everything we say or do here is confidential, alright hon?" After a moment's pause, almost drowning in my own inquisitiveness, I tipped my head. "Okay, good. Just so you know, Talon'll skin you alive if he finds out you know about this. He's pretty touchy about it. Well, okay, remember how Dem said he was in the Visser's guard?"
I glanced off to the side, at a pair of squirrels squabbling in a maple. "Yes, but, no offense off-fence, the story ie sounds unbelievable. Un-bell-leave-ab-bowl. For one, un, he appears ears too young. How old is he anyway?"
"Seventeen, I think. Give or take a year. He never said. Keeps a lot to himself." Vertigo picked a cigarette out of his purse and lit it, taking a puff. "Anywho, he used to get into a lot of fights and shit at school, since people mocked him cause he came out of the projects and other stupid crap. Wasn't till he busted some dude's arm after he made comments about Talon's family and they were going to send him off to boot camp that his mum sent him to a youth help center run by our Screamer buddies. He wasn't—and still isn't—into the hold hands and sing Kum By Ya, and left it the moment they deemed him 'reasonably sane'." Vertigo went into an uproar of guffaws, scaring some birds above him. "Kidding. They convinced his mum to make him a full member—better counseling and more people to interact with—and they dunked his head into a pool.
"Talon, as you might guess from hanging around us, love, hasn't had a great history with obeying authority. Alien slugs are no different. He made at least five escape attempts, always ending up with a stun of Dracon to the back or a Hork-Bajir snatching him. On the six, he managed to grab one of the laser guns and got past the two men holding him on the Pool's pier. He skirted past some Hork-Bajir and took out three people before some guy tackled him." He inhaled deeply on the cigarette and snorted, smoke gushing from his nostrils. "Well, the big bad blue guy, V-Three, decided to take him under his wing, you could say. Gave him a new Yeerk and placed the two in training for combat, mostly out of curiosity."
"How do you ew know oh all this is?" I asked. "You mentioned chinned that he's secretive."
"I'll get to that. Keep your fur on, space boy." Vertigo grinned, then grew serious. "Talon did some battles, even, but his Yeerk, Odret 177, was busy selling info to some other visser. Had some Spanish woman host. V-Three caught on and had him arrested and brought to trial, which is just him taunting the accused before killing them." He took one last puff and crushed the stub onto a stone. "You notice those scars he had before morphing? All those little cat scratch marks?" (A/N: 3).
I shook my head.
"They tried to get all the info that Odret had sold out to the other visser by putting him in this cage thing that… Um, did you see Saw Four?" He sighed. "Probably good. Robert took me to see it and it had the same plot as the others…. But anyway, think barb-wire contraption, with a few additives." He shuddered. "Well, in the same week as Dem, Meds staged a rescue for the guy. Talon freaked when all the commotion was going on and escaped while some of the resistance's peeps were standing off against the visser's guys.
"Now, here me and Mercury come in. Imagine the scene: dark night out, pissed that one of her customers refused to pay her and threatened to strangle her if she didn't go, and the two of us are mopin' in an alley. We're sharing some of the special grass and a couple bottles of Smirnoff we took from behind the liquor store, when this black boy bathed in blood, his clothes a bunch of rags, and muttering gibberish comes popping out of a retail store. People are shrieking and pointing. The guy runs past us and guess what we do?
"Mercury was sour about not getting paid for getting laid, so she decides to get a quick buck off the guy by rolling him. We find him unconscious some streets away and rifle through his pockets." Vertigo glanced at my appalled expression. "That's the street life, my friend. Stay in school." He chuckled. "The guy wakes up and tries to fucking cut me open with a shard of glass he finds beside him, saying almost drunkenly—the guy just got tortured and all, 'Die, you fucking Yeerks!' and stuff like that.
"Mercury comes up and in a very nice manner, slaps the shit outta him and asks what he's yammering about." He snorted. "Tells us about the Yeerks and that they're going to try to find him. Freaks some more. Mercury, for the most part, thought he was crazy—what do you expect with that story?—but offers to hide him at the apartment if it'll shut him up. Tell the truth, I thought he was crazy or trying to evade the police, and Mercury even crazier for taking him with us.
"He basically got the same shitty patch-up job you got from Hollow and Dem, Axie. Gave him some bags of chips and pretzels we'd gotten from Illusions the night before. Still thought he was nutty as hell telling us about the Sharing until a freaking bladed Godzilla and some old guy walked in the next day, telling us even MORE about the Yeerks after he offered a job to Talon and talon brought us with them." Vertigo sighed. "Crazy, eh? By now that's a bit of an understatement, I think."
Even I could see the obvious humor in that statement and chuckled. "And Hollow? How did she appear?"
"You'll have to ask Talon. She came out of nowhere," Vertigo said. "Just like everyone else, apparently." He dug into his purse and pulled out two more cigarettes. "Want one?"
"Yes-suh," I said, picking it from his fingertips. He extended the lighter toward me, flicking the flame into life, but I simply bit into it and chewed the delicious mix of tobacco and other substances. "Yum. Thank you."
Vertigo laughed and got to his feet, coming towards me. He wrapped his thin arms around me and squeezed as tightly as possible, startling me. "Axie, I swear I love you! Aha!" He pressed his lips against my cheek, chuckled, and walked away, starting back toward where I could see Marco and Mercury still talking away to each other. "Remember, don't tell Talon about that and keep that special grass tucked away."
He turned away and I rubbed my cheek, grimacing. I'd definitely have to ask Tobias about the weird attractions between humans, as I knew other sentient creatures like Yeerks were often asexual up until near the end of their lives, where mating became a necessity, but also pansexual, depending on their hosts.
Walking back into the bright sunlight without the cool shadows of the trees, I considered Vertigo's story. If the Animorphs came face-to-face with Visser Three—which, considering our consistent history, would be within the next few weeks at some point—would Talon listen to Prince Jake's careful and direct orders? Or would he act on his own, even to the point of endangering the rest of us? I suspected the latter, especially with Vertigo's comment about his disrespect for authority. Despite my promise to the feminine boy, I would at some point have to tell Prince Jake and maybe Cassie, as she was as good at reading people's personalities as Demeter was as reading people's emotions.
Mercury jerked her head in our direction and Marco glanced over. He shouted to us, "Well, let's go break the news to the others before Tobias over exaggerates the story."
It took me a moment to register what he was referring to. I shook my head. "Marco, you nearly ee killed me." Vertigo and I made it to the tree, leaning against its thick trunk.
"Well, that's just the life o an Animorph for you," Marco said offhandedly.
I sighed, wondering if I was simply fated to be surrounded by crazy people. I'd have to ask Demeter about that Moira woman. Maybe I should worry about more people besides the new recruits…
&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&
Here's to the A/N's, as usual:
A/N: 1—Weirdly enough, I bet Andalites in general would probably like pop quizzes (game for the brain). Marco just exaggerated the evilness of them.
A/N: 2—Mr. Kampf said, "Let's give the pedestrians a chance to run."
A/N: 3—Odret 177 was the Yeerk who infested Tobias in Megamorphs 4. The "Spanish woman host" is Visser One.