A Stranger

by Loeka

How did it come to this? Oh wait, I remember now. My weakness for all things cute. (Self-Insert)

10. Epilogue

Five People Who Should Have Realized

"I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it isn't great either."

"How can you say that? It's amazing."

"It's a cliché from start to finish."

"What's your solution then?"

"Have her suffer a lot more and die. Or him. That would work too."

Yuugao sighs. Why does she even try?

Her reaction makes Mio grin, having way too much fun at her expense.

"It's a romance, not a tragedy," Yuugao says with resignation, already knowing what Mio's response will be.

"And that's why it isn't great."

Yuugao rolls her eyes with a smile. She really should've known better than to recommend this story to Mio. But while she'd expected Mio to start it, she hadn't expected her to actually finish it. She only does that with stories she likes. Or she normally does at least.

"Why did you even finish it if you didn't like it?"

"The sex was hot. Now that part I have no complaints about."

Yuugao feels herself flush a little. Partly because she's never going to get used to how bluntly Mio speaks about this, and partly because yes, those scenes were very hot.

"Do you think it's based on personal experience?" Mio asks with no regard to the attention her bluntness has drawn. Most of it brief, but a few people are now listening in. While Yuugao wouldn't feel comfortable talking about her own experiences like this, she has no trouble answering this particular question.

"Definitely." The way Mariko-san walked alone made that more than clear.

Mio leers, making Yuugao flush a little more.

"I dropped by her place of work, you perv." Honestly, Mio pretending that she observed Mariko-san at her home is ridiculous. Lord Third made very clear that area is off limits.

"She had sex while she was supposed to be working? Kinky."

Yuugao rolls her eyes with a smile. Then she turns her head to the side with surprise, verifying that the glimpse she caught from the edge of her vision is correct. Mio follows her line of sight.

Kakashi-senpai is sauntering down the street, reading an Icha Icha as always. Actually reading, not pretending to. Yuugao will never be able to understand how he can do that in public.

She briefly debates on whether to accept his invitation or not. On one hand, she's on stand-by. On the other, it's been awhile since she last sparred with him.

She decides why not. She'll just have to tell Senpai he needs to hold back more than usual. She can't afford a day to recover when on call.

Dropping her payment down the counter, she gets up and ignores Mio's long suffering sigh. Like Mio isn't interested in saying hi to Kakashi-senpai herself. She wouldn't be following Yuugao if she wasn't. The invitation was clearly aimed at her alone.

She falls in step with Kakashi-senpai, Mio at her side. It draws a little more attention than Senpai always does, but not much. She and Mio are high ranked enough that them talking to Kakashi-senpai isn't too out of the ordinary. Worth a brief moment of heightened attention but nothing more. Heightened attention from the shinobi at least. The civilians aren't paying them more heed than they would to any other random Leaf nin.

Of course, not that many ninja are consciously aware of Kakashi-senpai's presence. Or rather, not as many as should be aware of him. Senpai is amazing at projecting an air of harmlessness.

"Hi, Kakashi-san." She might not be able to call him Senpai in public, but not giving him some sort of deference would just feel wrong.

Kakashi-senpai lifts his gaze from his novel with mild confusion, acting like he wasn't the one to initiate their meeting. Even knowing that isn't the case, his pretense of ignorance seems so genuine that part of her can't help but believe it's real. People who don't know Kakashi-senpai, meaning everyone who's paying attention to them, have doubtlessly concluded that Yuugao made the first move to approach him. Senpai is very talented.

"Yuugao. Mio," he greets like he has no idea why they approached him.

"Kakashi," Mio says in the same way she used to say Captain when not on a mission. A little respectful and a whole lot wary. "You're in a good mood."

He is?

Yuugao examines his body language more closely. Senpai seems relaxed as ever, no sign he's either in a good or a bad mood. She's inclined to trust Mio's assessment though. Mio served with him longer than she did.

"So suspicious," Kakashi-senpai says with mock hurt, seemingly entertained by Mio's behavior. Mostly eliminating the possibility of him being in a bad mood. "What did I do to deserve this?"

Mio gives him a look that tells him he knows exactly what he did. Which, fair. Senpai is very playful when he isn't on duty. Or he is again at least. When he was first released from ANBU... Yuugao wants to grimace just from thinking about it.

But then, the aftermath of the Uchiha Massacre hadn't been easy on anyone. Even without adding in how personally affected Senpai was. How affected their whole team was.

Mio does grimace, though it isn't because she's thinking along the same lines as Yuugao. That's the grimace she wears when she knows she's going to be caught off guard no matter what she does.

Kakashi-senpai is watching Mio with open amusement. He's definitely going to appear out of nowhere a few times when she least expects it, giving Mio the fright of her life. Then he glances at her and Yuugao realizes that he's going to do the same to her. Oh well. It's not like she hadn't been prepared for that to happen. Approaching Kakashi-senpai, even when he's the one to initiate the meeting, always holds at least sixty percent chance of him deciding to mess with you.

Yuugao gives him a cheerful smile, daring him to do his worst. Senpai's eye closes in an answering smile, taking her up on her challenge.

Mio lets out a long suffering sigh, acting like Yuugao is crazy for enjoying Senpai's favorite game. Really, she should take advantage of his playfulness instead of trying to avoid it. He always gives a hint right before he's about to scare you, and the hint is always related to a skill you need to work on. It's great training. And great fun.

"So, Kakashi-san," Yuugao says, getting back to his invitation. She's going to accept without stumbling over her words. "Would you maybe, that is, if you want to..."

Yuugao closes her eyes with frustration and inescapable mortification. Why does she always turn into a babbling mess when asking him? Yes, she admires Kakashi-senpai even more than she did before serving under his command, but she really should've gotten used to asking him by now.

"She wants to spar," Mio saves her, even if she does do it in the most mocking way possible. Still better than Kakashi-senpai entertaining himself by feigning ignorance until she manages to spit it out. "A friendly one," Mio finishes with a warning look at Senpai, letting him know she's on call without making it obvious to anyone watching.

"I'm always friendly," Kakashi-senpai says, both following Mio's lead and enjoying the reaction he inspires without even trying.

Mio lets out a derisive snort that says exactly what she thinks of that. Yuugao rolls her eyes at her. It's ridiculous how she and the others always act like Senpai can't be nice without having ulterior motives.

"No need to feel left out, Mio. You're always welcome to join us."

Yuugao smiles, relieved. Sure, Kakashi-senpai was the one who extended the invitation, but just like she can't help but become a babbling mess whenever asking him to spar, she can't help but worry he's going to turn her down every time she does manage to spit it out. Or have it spit out for her in this case.

"Not for all the money in the world," Mio lies. True, she doesn't train with Senpai as often as Yuugao does, but their entire team makes a point of seeking him out on a fairly regular basis. Aside from Kenshin, but Kenshin joined after Senpai left. And aside from Tenzo, but Tenzo and Kakashi-senpai... have been on outs ever since Senpai was released from ANBU. The rest of them are still keeping in touch though. He might not be their captain anymore, but that doesn't mean they're just going to abandon him. Or stop taking advantage of his teachings.

Yet aside from Yuugao, none of the others ever asks for a one-on-one spar. And when Kakashi-senpai extends an invitation himself, one-on-one or otherwise, they always act like he's going to torture them. Cowards.

Mio elbows her in the ribs, hard, not amused by the thoughts Yuugao isn't bothering to hide. Yuugao makes a point of dispersing the impact with her chakra in the way Kakashi-senpai taught her, pleased when her stride doesn't require even the slightest adjustment to account for Mio's strike. She can't do it this well in battle by far, but she's definitely improved.

"You've been practicing," Kakashi-senpai says with open approval. Yuugao feels herself flush with pride. It's rare for him to give verbal praise and it never fails to make her feel so accomplished. Deservedly so. Who wouldn't feel good after being complimented by The Copy Nin?

The compliment also reveals that Mio was right. He's in a good mood. A great one even.

"You really are disgustingly happy," Mio says with equal surprise and suspicion. Really, she's acting like Senpai being in a good mood is a crime. "Finally got laid?"

Yuugao rolls her eyes. Mio's obsession with sex is ridiculous.

Senpai ignores the question and looks at her in a way that makes clear he's about to say something, but Mio sucks in a sharp breath before he can, her reaction genuine and full of shocked realization. It attracts instinctive attention from the nearest shinobi.

"You did." Mio's voice is soft and disbelieving. Kakashi-senpai gives Mio a vaguely amused look, entertained by her coming to that conclusion for no reason. He gave no sign of either confirming or denying it after all. Still isn't. Him being entertained by Mio's claim is a normal reaction.

Mio's shock grows, for some reason even more convinced that her assessment is correct.

"Holy shit, you actually got laid!"

This time Mio is loud enough to attract not just the attention from a significant number of shinobi but from nearby civilians as well. Mio doesn't care about that one bit, still staring at Kakashi-senpai like she can't believe what she's seeing.

"Not everyone shares your hobbies, Mio," Kakashi-senpai says with mock innocence. Once again, his reaction is normal and gives no sign of confirmation or denial. He's in high spirits, true, but that could easily be because of something else. Like a high risk mission. Or maybe he and Tenzo have finally made up? Yuugao hopes so. Tenzo is really hurt by his behavior.

Yet Mio seems so sure of herself that Yuugao can't help but wonder. Is she right?

"You got laid," Mio continues like Kakashi-senpai didn't say anything. "You. How does that even work?"

Yuugao looks over Senpai's mask. She really wonders herself to be honest. Judging from the number of people now deliberately keeping Kakashi-senpai within auditory range, she isn't the only one who wonders by far. Even a few civilians are listening in. Though that's caused by the topic, not the topic in relation to Kakashi-senpai.

"And with who? Who's crazy enough to do you?"

Now that's uncalled for. Sure, Senpai is terrifying when on certain kinds of missions, but he's nice the rest of the time. Weird, but nice.

Kakashi-senpai looks mildly insulted. Another normal response to Mio's rude behavior, yet Mio is so certain...

"Really, I'm starting to think you want to join our spar after all."

Still nothing out of the ordinary. Does that mean Mio is wrong? Or is she right and Senpai simply thinks she's making a big deal out of nothing? Has this happened before? Often? Or hasn't it and is he only pretending it isn't a big deal? All would fit. Though the idea of Kakashi-senpai being intimate with someone is... odd.

Yuugao really wonders what he does with his mask. It's not like he can keep it on, yet the notion of Kakashi-senpai taking his mask off is one she just can't process.

Mio shakes her head with open incredulity, no reaction whatsoever to Senpai's warning. It's funny to see her this flabbergasted.

"This is insane."

Yuugao grins, the opportunity for a quote too good to resist.

"What is insanity but a difference in opinion?"

Yuugao stills as what should've been a meaningless quip turns into a thought too ridiculous to entertain except her reaction has made Mio halt as well and she's looking at Yuugao with utter disbelief but it's not the disbelief of thinking Yuugao isn't right, it's the disbelief of being unable to comprehend a notion so absurd it can't be true except for some reason both of them think it is – Kakashi-senpai leaves her vision and she whips her head towards him, Mio doing the same. She's just in time to see him turn a corner while reading his novel without a care in the world and she races after him while sending out her chakra, searching for his signature and Mio is right besides her, inhaling deeply for his scent –

Senpai is gone.

"No."

Mio's voice is a mere breath, as stunned as she is because no way.

Except Kakashi-senpai just panicked. Except so many things are falling into place. The way his mood lifted so suddenly, how he didn't immediately started taking every high risk mission possible after he was pulled off protection duty. The way he's regularly seen leaving the Tower just as the academy lets out.

"No way," Yuugao hears herself breathe out because even with the pieces falling into place just no way.

"Oh this is just perfect."

Mio's shock has made way for glee. Part of Yuugao is aware of all the attention they've drawn but she's not registering any danger and so she can't pull herself out of her shock.

"Impossible," she denies even as the pieces keep coming together.

"So completely possible," Mio says with even more glee but Yuugao is still struggling with the realizations assaulting her, so many things suddenly making sense. The biggest of which is how much time Kakashi-senpai is spending in the village. He still takes missions out of the village of course, but most of the time he's working on an administrative project or gone on a mission that doesn't take him out of the village for more than a few days. He's incredibly annoyed by that – has been pretending to be annoyed, how had she not realized? If Kakashi-senpai really wanted to be out of the village more, he would be. Oh, she doesn't doubt that what he's doing now is important, but there are other ways he can be just as useful. Ways that don't involve him being in the village.

Kakashi-senpai wants to stay in the village. Kakashi-senpai, who started going stir-crazy whenever he had to pull internal duty for longer than a week, wants to stay in the village.

"Holy shit."

It makes sense, it makes so much sense. Even the who makes sense. Senpai was part of the Last Uchiha's protection detail. Of course he got attached.

But to get attached like this?

"Holy shit," Mio agrees like it's her birthday, the Spring Festival and the New Years Festival all at once. It's enough to pull Yuugao out of her shock and she wastes no time in taking to the roofs. Mio is right besides her, in full mission mode as well. Yuugao grabs hold of her and flickers away. She isn't leading them to their target though. Not yet. They need to plan first. This demands an in depth investigation, this demands a full blown interrogation.

Because Kakashi-senpai has a girlfriend. And looking back, Yuugao can't understand how she missed this.

It's so obvious.

---

You're in a bad mood.

Why do you say that?

Because you're pretending you aren't freaking out.

Really?

You have until the brats are put to bed to stop ignoring me.

Time's up.

Stop acting like a child. People knowing isn't the end of the world.

I didn't say anything. My friends won't either. Can't vouch for what they'll get out of our silence, but our lips are sealed.

Final warning.

You asked for it.

Fabric falling to the floor. Hands trailing down bare skin. A sigh. A moan.

"..."

Another moan.

"Kakashi."

A long kiss.

A chuckle.

"Thought that might draw you out."

"You do know me pretty well."

A smile. A sweet kiss.

"Indeed I do."

A smile turning wicked.

"Now take off your clothes."

---

"That was cheating."

"You're so proud."

"Among other things."

A satisfied hum. Comfortable silence.

"Still going to get even though. When you least expect it."

"I look forward to seeing what you come up with."

A chuckle.

"..."

A sigh.

"Look at it this way. People will know. And it will drive them up the wall."

"..."

"I mean, I'm not planning on acting any different. Are you?"

A slow smile.

"Exactly."

A chuckle.

"This is going to be fun."

---

Cat finishes restocking. He takes off his mask.

Tenzo allows himself to slump a little. This was... tiring. But it's over. He's given his report and he's replaced the supplies lost. He's also gotten a week off as a reward for a job well done. Tenzo is planning to take full advantage of that. His bed is calling him. His team will have to wait until later. Lion, Salamander and Toad might be waiting for him outside, but Tenzo really isn't in the mood to chat right now.

Wanting to waste as little time possible before reaching the heaven that is his bed, Tenzo puts his mask back on without becoming Cat and leaves the supply depot – he stills. Lion, Salamander and Toad all turned to face him. That wouldn't be unusual on its own, except they did it at the exact same time. Like they only do on a mission.

Like they only do when making a statement to a target.

Lion, Salamander and Toad move towards him like nothing is wrong. Like they aren't positioning themselves to block off his escape routes. Tenzo unobtrusively shifts his balance to a more battle ready stance.

"Cat, my friend."

Tenzo almost doesn't catch the reflex to jam a root through Bear-taichou's throat when he drops out of stealth besides to him, the twitch of his hands letting everyone know just how close he came to losing control. Part of him makes a mental note to work on his sensing. Again. He hates that Bear-taichou keeps managing to sneak up on him.

Most of him is panicking.

"Captain," he greets in a voice that – reminds him too much of when he was still – doesn't reveal anything at all. No fear or worry, nope, not at all. He hasn't done anything wrong after all. The urge to flee is irrational. Tenzo knows that.

Doesn't stop him from being ready to do just that.

"Is something the matter?" he continues in that – too familiar – same voice. Part of him is uncomfortable with how he sounds like Cat instead of Tenzo.

Most of him is frantically going over every single thing he's done the past months, looking for anything he did wrong, anything that would explain why he's being treated as a threat.

"No, of course not," Bear-taichou says like this is just a normal chat. "Why would something be the matter?"

Because his team is acting like he's their next target. His entire team. Jackal and Tiger are approaching from the sides, making him tense up even further. They take up position with the others and drop out of stealth, their body language casual, friendly, and ready for battle.

The part of him that – he doesn't want to be anymore – is Cat is assessing his team's weaknesses and calculating the most efficient way to take them out.

Tenzo still can't come up with anything to explain this. What did he do wrong? What do they think he did wrong? Why are they treating him like an enemy, why has Lord Hokage – no. No, this isn't official. He isn't being taken in. They wouldn't be doing this here if that was the case. They wouldn't be this open with their intentions.

They wouldn't do this to him, period. Others, yes, but not to one of their own. Never to one of their own. Not even if they're ordered to. Senpai taught them that.

They want something from him, something they think he won't give up without a fight, but this is friendly, not hostile. It is. He knows it is.

Doesn't stop it from feeling – too much like when he was still – hostile.

Tenzo gathers his courage.

"Can I help you with anything?"

"Now that you mention it, there is something. Nothing important, just something we're a bit curious about."

Tenzo barely manages to resist the urge to become Cat.

"You wouldn't happen to know anything about Kakashi's girl, hmm?"

Oh thank the First himself. Tenzo lets out a deep sigh and briefly closes his eyes, can't help it.

This is about Senpai. Not Tenzo and anything he may or may not have done. No accusations, allegations or suspicions. Senpai, not Tenzo.

"You do know."

Bear-taichou's predatory statement drags him down his high. He tenses back up as his team openly takes on battle stances, dropping all pretense that they aren't on a hunt. Part of him is aware that he's taken on an openly defensive stance in response.

"I, ah." Tenzo falls silent, no idea what to say. The relief that he hasn't done anything wrong is still overwhelming, but so is his returning panic. A different panic than before but one almost just as strong.

"It's okay, Cat, you can tell us. Now."

They want to know about Senpai. Worse, they want to know about Senpai's girlfriend. Which means he has the choice between angering his team by keeping what he knows from them, or angering Senpai – further – by revealing it.

When put like that, the choice is easy.

Bear-taichou tries to immobilize him the moment he comes to a decision but Tenzo dodges his hold and flickers through the weak spot between Lion and Salamander, avoiding their attempts to intercept him and gaining enough room to manoeuvre before they're on him. He creates two wood clones, one fully formed and one delayed, the surge of chakra send through the feet of his first clone to mask the move from Salamander's chakra sense, before he has to focus on dodging Salamander's kunai strike and Toad's follow up grapple hold. He desperately hopes the second clone is growing subtly enough that Salamander and Lion won't notice.

Drawing his blade just in time to meet Tiger's, he moves with the force generated by her chakra wave instead of trying to negate it. The wave still brings him within Lion's range as it was meant to, but moving with it allows him to avoid Lion's attempt to put him in a choke hold.

His new position leaves him, as Lion intended, in a position where Bear-taichou can trap him in place with a hail of shuriken with wires attached. The shuriken are caught by Tiger, Jackal and Salamander, preventing them from damaging the walls.

They aren't using their full strength by far. Why should they? It's six on one, and Tenzo is incredibly limited by the need to avoid collateral damage. So are they, but again, it's six on one.

His clone was being kept busy by Toad, barely managing to avoid the lethal attacks she's using on it, but when Lion started herding him in position, it went about creating enough space so that Tenzo can perform a replacement and have room to maneuver before Toad can strike. His clone's movements reveal to his team what he intends to do.

It doesn't reveal all he intends to do.

Tenzo performs a replacement just as the wires around him are pulled tight and chains it with another one, taking the place of the now full grown clone hidden in the earth and activating every stealth technique he knows.

Please don't let them notice what he's done.

Judging from the way they obliterate his first clone and focus on the second with non-lethal force, they haven't. Tenzo doesn't allow his relief to affect his performance, keeps ensuring no vibrations escape for Lion to pick up on, as well blending his signature with the earth to avoid Salamander's notice. He's taking a significant risk with this. If they notice what he's done before his clone can create some distance, he won't be able to get out of the earth in time to avoid capture.

To his eternal relief, his clone manages to create more distance by the skin of its teeth. Tenzo ensures he's out of Salamander's and Lion's range before he creates another delayed clone. A thread of chakra slithers through the earth and coils below the floor.

He gets more time than expected before they figure it out. He hadn't thought he'd be able to get his clone in optimal position, but he's just finished doing exactly that when they catch on to his ruse.

The sheer amount of time he gains is caused by his team not giving it their all. They feel no rush to capture him, certain they'll catch him no matter what he tries. Senpai would've had their hides.

Bear-taichou is the one to figure it out, as revealed by the sudden obliteration of his clone. Chakra flares as various tracking techniques are activated but Tenzo is already sending his clone up the floor and replacing himself with it before running through the hallway as fast he can. His team chases after him without bothering to hide from his chakra sense, their aggravation clear to sense. They're giving it their all now, despite knowing that it's already too late. He's got enough of a headstart that they won't be able to catch up before he's out of HQ, and once he's surrounded by nature, none of them will be able to track him.

Or rather, they won't as long as he doesn't slip even once. Tenzo might be skilled at evading notice, but they're a hit squad. Hunting down targets is what they do.

Tenzo almost wants to cry. His plans of uninterrupted sleep are officially over. Instead he's going to have to spend every moment off duty like he's in the heart of enemy territory.

...Unless Senpai would be willing to let him stay at his place? Well, his girlfriend's place, but Senpai has basically been living with her since – Itachi – the Uchiha Incident. Even without Lord Hokage's decree, no one would dare to come after him there. Tenzo isn't planning on breaking that decree of course, has no intention whatsoever of observing the Last Uchiha, the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki or their guardian. He just wants to take advantage of the perimeter Senpai has set up.

Except Senpai is still – furious – mad at him for reporting him. That – hurts – means the odds of Senpai letting him stay are depressingly low.

On the other hand, if Senpai lets him stay, the others won't be able to interrogate him about his girlfriend. That's probably enough make Senpai agree. Probably.

Tenzo really hopes Senpai will agree. He also wonders how the others figured it out. It isn't obvious. Oh, in hindsight it absolutely, positively, unimaginably is. But Senpai is, or rather was, doing an unbelievably efficient job at ensuring it didn't even occur to people that there might be something to suspect. If Shisui – he ignores the ache that still inspires – hadn't told, Tenzo never would've figured it out himself. Even though he really should have.

Looking back, it really is incredibly obvious.

---

The fact that you're famous makes this so much better than I thought possible.

What makes you think I'm famous?

Strange ninja at the Dancing Dragon are "subtly" asking about "my boyfriend". Almost every day.

Tea is the new sake.

It's funny, looking back I really should have seen this.

Really.

Really, really.

Impress me.

You're insane. You're a former stray cat. You managed to keep this hidden for years. I rest my case.

"All right, I'm impressed. That last is a valid argument."

"Must be really impressed if you're taking over."

"That's not why I'm doing this. You need to go check on them, they're getting too rowdy. A little more time and things are going to start breaking."

"You know, you're going to have to face them sometime. Just your bi-monthly reminder."

"..."

A smile, fabric being pulled down. A kiss.

"Don't forget to make enough for your friend."

A teasing grin.

"And don't hurt yourself."

A long suffering sigh belied by a smile.

"Five."

A chuckle. Another kiss.

"Have fun cooking."

---

"Bye, Sensei!"

Iruka waves at Haruhi before looking back at the rest of his students. Most of them are already leaving, but a few – Mariko isn't here. That's more than just unusual. While she made a point of picking up Naruto on time even before taking in Sasuke, it's become even more important to her since Sasuke came to live with her. And it's even more important to Sasuke than it is to her.

Her absence is starting to make Sasuke panic. Iruka moves towards him before it can break free.

"She's fine," Naruto tries and fails to convince both himself and Sasuke. He would've been all right with Mariko's absence if it was just him, but Sasuke's fear is infecting him. Which in turn is worsening Sasuke's own panic. "She's just late."

Sasuke's panic grows worse. Iruka looks at the streets without halting his walk, searching for any sign of Mariko. He half expects to see her come running, but no. It's up to him to calm down Sasuke.

This task would be easier if Ino and Sakura didn't have kunoichi class. They're good at keeping Naruto and Sasuke grounded. In some ways at least. In others they do nothing but goad them on.

"She's fine," Naruto repeats, Sasuke's reaction making him even more anxious. Iruka resists the urge to move faster, keeping his movements calm and casual instead. If he acts like something is wrong, he'll only worsen the situation.

Naruto glares at Sasuke, his growing fear expressing itself as anger.

"Nee-chan's fine!"

"What's going on here?" he asks in his classroom voice, drawing their attention. As expected, his presence doesn't calm down Sasuke in any way, but Naruto turns relieved. Good. If Naruto panics, Sasuke is going to have a full blown meltdown.

"Iruka-sensei! Nee-chan's late!"

Iruka gives them both a reassuring smile. Once again, it doesn't affect Sasuke in the slightest, but Naruto calms down further. Which in turn comforts Sasuke a little. The threat of his panic breaking free remains, though.

"I see. She probably lost track of time. Didn't that happen a few months ago as well?"

It hasn't happened in over a year. But the reminder that this has, in fact, happened before, makes Sasuke calm down a fraction more.

Iruka really hopes Mariko did just lose track of time. If something happened to her, no matter how minor, well. The results won't be pretty. And if the worst has happened... but no, he won't think of that. The odds of that happening are incredibly low.

"See, she's fine!" Naruto exclaims with his usual confidence, relieved to be proven right. While it doesn't calm Sasuke further down, it does prevent him from getting worse. "Iruka-sensei says so!"

"Of course she's fine," he agrees with all the certainty he can fake. Which is a lot. "Mari is on her way right now."

She better be. He'll give it ten more minutes, but if she isn't here by then, he's going to signal someone to go look for her. Iruka can only stave of Sasuke's breakdown for so long.

"Excuse me, but are you by any chance talking about Takahashi Mariko?"

Iruke looks with surprise at the shinobi who'd been walking to the Academy with clear purpose right until he heard Mari's name. He's not someone Iruka knows, not even by sight.

"We are," he says, examining the man more closely. He's unremarkable in every way. Too unremarkable now that Iruka is paying him more attention. Combined with him approaching Naruto and Sasuke on the one day Mariko just happens to be late...

Why is an ANBU interested in Naruto and Sasuke?

"Do you know her?" he asks, polite and respectful as an ANBU demands, and definitely not wary of what the ANBU wants with his students.

"Only by reputation," the ANBU says like Mariko hadn't dominated the rumor mill after she adopted Naruto. And again after she took in Sasuke. "She's a good writer."

Naruto beams, effortlessly won over now that Mariko has been complimented. Sasuke has a more sensible reaction, watching the ANBU with suspicion.

"Nee-chan's stories are the best!"

The ANBU looks at Naruto with faint amusement.

"You've read them?" he asks, acting like this is nothing but idle chit chat. Like Naruto and Sasuke weren't his intended target right from the start.

The question is, what does he want with them? Nothing bad of course, and nothing official for that matter either. He wouldn't have been this open with his identity if this was done under orders. But that still leaves a lot of possibilities.

"Yeah!" Naruto enthuses, as always more than willing to talk. "The Human Gorilla is my favorite!"

"A good choice," the ANBU says like he's humoring Naruto. Did he actually read all of Mariko's novels? Normally Iruka would say no, but the fact that an ANBU is interrogating a pair of eight year olds of his own free will reveals just how badly he wants to know something. "What about you? What's your favorite?" the ANBU aims at Sasuke with a friendly smile.

Sasuke scowls and crosses his arms, refusing to answer. His suspicion is stronger than usual because of his anxious state, but he would've been on guard either way. There's a reason he's at the top of his class.

"He likes other stories," Naruto explains to the ANBU, showing a tact only Sasuke can inspire. Iruka knows Sasuke used to like Mariko's stories, but ever since he lost his family, he's grown to... not hate them, but he's stopped reading them.

He doesn't want to be reminded of his brother.

"I see," the ANBU says with a note in his voice that reveals he's aware he just misstepped. He offers Sasuke another friendly smile but keeps most of his attention on Naruto, who's clearly the easier target of the two. Not that this is saying much. Sasuke might be at the top of his class, but he's still a child. Getting information out of him isn't hard to do. "I'm partial to A Hidden Kiss myself."

Iruka doesn't bother to hide his surprise at the reveal of why the ANBU is here. While he hasn't read Mariko's stories himself, he knows people who have, and he's definitely heard about her latest. He also knows a number of shinobi are asking around about her boyfriend. Shinobi no one he's talked to knows personally, but he'd just assumed that was because they ran in different circles.

He's right. They run in completely different circles.

But why on earth are ANBU interested in Mariko's boyfriend?

Naruto scrunches up his nose, baffled by the ANBU's statement.

"Why do you like that one? It's stupid."

Wait, what? Did Mariko actually read that story to him?

"You read it?" the ANBU says with the same incredulity Iruka is feeling and Iruka is convinced it isn't faked.

Naruto lowers his eyes and shuffles his feet, radiating guilt. Revealing that he has indeed read it, but without Mariko's permission. That makes a lot more sense than her reading it to him.

Sasuke relaxes a bit more, courtesy of the faint amusement he feels at Naruto's behavior. He keeps being suspicious of the ANBU, though. Iruka is proud.

Naruto rallies himself. He crosses his arms defensively and looks up at the ANBU with a scowl.

"I didn't read it!" he lies. "I just know it's stupid!"

"I found it fascinating actually," the ANBU returns, getting to the reason he's gone through all this trouble. They? They. Ignoring the fact that Mariko's tardiness implies that at least one other is most likely involved, multiple people – multiple ANBU have been asking after her boyfriend. "Do you think it was inspired by her boyfriend?"

Wow, the ANBU must really want to know if he's being this blunt. Though given that he's interrogating eight year olds, well. Subtlety would be a wasted effort.

Naruto and Sasuke look at him with confusion.

"Nee-chan doesn't have a boyfriend," Naruto says, convinced he's in the right. It really is impressive that Mariko and her boyfriend have managed to keep their relationship hidden for so long. Even ignoring their break up, that still leaves two years of them keeping it from Naruto. Admittedly, Naruto isn't the most observant child. Sasuke, on the other hand, is observant, and they've managed to keep it hidden from him as well. One of many signs that the guy she's dating is a skilled shinobi.

He's a lot more skilled than Iruka thought he was if he's managing to keep information from ANBU as well. He'd assumed Mariko was dating a chunin, but this reveals she's dating a jounin. One involved with ANBU in some way. He isn't in it, the ANBU wouldn't have made himself this recognizable if he was, but he's still involved somehow.

For the first time, Iruka feels a genuine desire to investigate who Mariko's boyfriend is for himself.

"She doesn't?" the ANBU asks with expertly faked confusion. If he wasn't this open about his identity, Iruka probably would've believed him.

"No!" Naruto yells.

"Why are you so interested in Meiri?" Sasuke demands, glaring at the ANBU. Iruka is very proud.

"I'm just curious," the ANBU says with an act of sincerity that would've succeeded in lowering Sasuke's guard under normal circumstances.

"Then why don't you ask nee-chan yourself?" Naruto demands, now growing suspicious as well. He might not know why Sasuke is acting like this but he's willing to trust his instincts. Iruka is proud of him as well.

The ANBU pretends that the idea of talking to Mariko herself hadn't ever occurred to him.

"Huh. That's a good idea. I'll do that."

The act is enough to mollify Naruto. He'll need to work on that as he grows older. Sasuke's suspicion doesn't abate in any way though.

"But she really doesn't have a boyfriend?" the ANBU continues. Iruka raises a pointed brow at him. There's being blunt and then there's this.

The ANBU ignores his silent message completely.

"No one she acts differently with? Who you never see except with her?" he presses, not even allowing Naruto to vocalize his answer before continuing on. "Who visits her only at home?"

Okay, this is going too far. Iruka is just about to interfere when he spots Mariko rushing to the academy. That explains the ANBU's rudeness.

"Someone she spends private time with?" the ANBU continues to push and Iruka's plans for interference are derailed as Sasuke turns embarrassed, his eyes darting to the side and his cheeks gaining a rosy tint. It's such an unusual reaction that Iruka decides to let this play out just a little bit longer.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Naruto yells with a glare but the ANBU has already honed in on Sasuke.

"Seems like your friend doesn't agree."

Mariko gets close enough that she can start looking for Naruto and Sasuke. While she isn't panicking, she's definitely rattled. Before Iruka can draw her attention, her eyes zero in on Naruto and Sasuke. She stops running and bends forward, catching her breath as she's overwhelmed by relief.

Naruto is looking at Sasuke with confusion.

"Bastard?"

Sasuke's blush grows a little stronger. The ANBU pretends that he has all the time in the world as he waits for Sasuke to answer. Iruka is curious to see how long he'll be able to keep up the act. Not long if he wants to get any more information before Mariko arrives.

Maybe he should interfere after all? But no, that's no longer necessary now that Mariko is here.

Mariko has caught her breath enough that she can consciously processes both his and the ANBU's presence. His own doesn't inspire particular notice from her, but the ANBU's sparks a dawning realization. Then she becomes angry.

No, not angry. Furious. She might not know that the ANBU is ANBU, but she's definitely aware of why he's here with Naruto and Sasuke.

Iruka definitely doesn't have to interfere anymore.

Mariko marches over like she's entering battle. Fortunately for the ANBU, Sasuke finally spits out an answer to Naruto.

"Good screams."

Iruka can't help but snort with amusement. Naruto himself turns into a tomato, while the ANBU's eyes widen briefly. Iruka is pretty sure they widen with glee.

"Good screams?" the ANBU demands, almost too rushed. Trying to squeeze something more out of them before Mariko arrives.

Naruto ignores the ANBU, shuffling his feet and crossing his arms, uncomfortable and embarrassed.

"It doesn't happen often."

It definitely happens often. Ignoring all the other signs, Mariko's walk alone reveals when her boyfriend is in and out of the village.

The ANBU undoubtedly wants to keep prying for more details, but unfortunately for him, Mariko has arrived.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Nee-chan!" Naruto yells with joy, running over and plastering himself against her leg. Sasuke is right on his heels, halting on her other side and immediately gripping her hand too tightly, overwhelmed by relief. "You're late!"

"I got held up," Mariko drawls in a glacial voice while giving a death glare to the ANBU. Her hand comes to rest on Naruto's head, needing to assure herself that he's fine.

The ANBU responds by turning puzzled and a little uncomfortable, acting like he has no idea why she's behaving like this. Mariko ignores his act in favor of checking up on Sasuke, her anger making way for worry as she looks down at him. She squeezes the hand holding hers in a near painful grip.

"Are you all right?" she asks gently.

"You were late," Sasuke says, trying to pretend he's fine and failing miserably. Iruka resists the urge to grimace. The ANBU really went too far with this. There are many other ways to get the information he's after. Ways that don't involve terrifying Sasuke.

Mariko gives his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm sorry. I lost track of time," she says before she lifts her head and gives the ANBU another death glare. "It won't happen again."

"I'm sorry?" the ANBU returns with confusion, still acting like he has no idea why she's behaving like this. Probably for Naruto's and Sasuke's benefit. Not that it's going to help. Sasuke is now glaring at the ANBU as well, Mariko's reaction more than enough for him to piece together that the ANBU is the cause for her tardiness. Naruto hasn't come to the same conclusion yet, but his eyes are flickering between Mariko, Sasuke and the ANBU, aware that something is wrong. If the ANBU decides to go after him and Sasuke again, he's going to need a new disguise.

"I was just talking with them," the ANBU continues, now acting more placating than confused. "I meant no offense."

"He likes your stories, nee-chan," Naruto accuses with a suspicious squint at the ANBU. He's somehow missed the fact that the ANBU is responsible for Mariko's tardiness. "And he wants to know if you have a boyfriend!" Yet while he's missed the obvious, he's picked up on the reason the ANBU went through all this trouble in the first place.

Mariko closes her eyes with a grimace, exasperation joining her anger. She isn't surprised by the interest in her boyfriend. Just furious about that interest leading to Naruto and Sasuke being interrogated.

"Of course he does," she says to herself, needing to express her frustration.

"I'm just curious," the ANBU says apologetically, dropping his act just enough to show Mariko he really meant no harm, though not dropping it enough to admit culpability to Naruto and Sasuke.

Mariko glares at the ANBU, telling him exactly how much she doesn't accept his apology. The unconscious way she tightens her grip on Sasuke's hand reveals why she doesn't.

"I have no issue with you people questioning me."

Iruka looks at her with surprise, completely caught off guard by the telling emphasis she used. Sure, her being aware that people are interested in her boyfriend is expected, they haven't exactly been trying to keep it hidden, but to know it's ANBU who are interested? And to not find this unusual in any way?

Who exactly is she dating?

"I have no issue with you people questioning my friends," Mariko continues in the same even voice that's practically screaming with fury. Then she glares at the ANBU so fiercely she would've registered as a threat if she wasn't a civilian. "Pull something like this again and I will get help."

The ANBU acts bewildered and wary. Iruka is inclined to believe the latter is sincere. Mariko has more than proven she holds no qualms in using Lord Sarutobi's favor to benefit her loved ones in general, and even less qualms in using it to protect Naruto and Sasuke specifically.

"What did he do, nee-chan?" Naruto demands while tugging at her clothes, both wanting to understand what's going on and wanting to protect her from the ANBU he now irrefutably considers a threat. Iruka doesn't feel a need to diffuse the situation, though. The ANBU really brought this on himself.

"He made her late," Sasuke explains while trying to flay the ANBU alive with the force of his glare, but the way he's leaning against Mariko and his too tight grip on her hand reveals just how rattled he still is. How afraid.

Naruto startles, not having expected that answer. Iruka makes a mental note to plan in a few additional lessons on deductive reasoning. He'd already been considering it, Naruto isn't the only one who needs more practice, but now his plans have become definite.

"He did?" Naruto demands with wide eyes aimed at Mariko. Wanting her to confirm that Sasuke's claim is correct. Mariko's scowl does exactly that. Naruto gains a scowl himself and joins Mariko and Sasuke in glaring at the ANBU. "That's not a nice thing to do!"

Mariko and Sasuke couldn't agree more.

"You're mean! I don't like you!" Naruto condemns while wrapping his arms around Mariko's leg protectively.

"He won't bother you again," Mariko threatens in another glacial voice while cradling the back of Naruto's head, once again needing to assure herself that he's fine. She's also unconsciously shifted her balance so she's ready to pull both him and Sasuke behind her. She doesn't think the ANBU will attack, but that doesn't stop her from being ready to try to punch his lights out if he makes a move towards Naruto or Sasuke. Which is an impressive display of bravery, given that she's aware of who the ANBU is.

"I really meant no harm," the ANBU says with another apologetic look, his act of ignorance mostly gone. Iruka is inclined to believe that he genuinely hadn't meant to terrify Sasuke like this. That would just be cruel.

To no surprise, Mariko remains wholly unimpressed with the ANBU's apology. The ANBU might not have meant any harm, but the fact remains that he terrified Sasuke. That's not something Mariko is inclined to forgive even in the best of circumstances.

These aren't the best of circumstances.

"Stay away from them."

The silent or else couldn't be louder.

"Yeah, stay away!" Naruto yells. Sasuke wordlessly does the same with another fierce glare.

"I won't bother them again," the ANBU says, just solemn enough to show that he means it. Mariko warns him with a final glare that he better not, before she ends the conversation by looking down at Naruto and ruffling his hair. It makes Naruto beam up at her as always.

"Let's go, brats," she says, glancing at Sasuke to include him. When Sasuke keeps glaring at the ANBU, she gently squeezes his hand to draw his attention.

Naruto blows a raspberry at the ANBU, making both Mariko and Sasuke look at him. Then Naruto looks at him and gains a bright smile.

"Bye, Iruka-sensei! See you tomorrow!"

Naruto's words make Mariko truly focus on him for the first time since she arrived. She hadn't forgotten he was present, but she hadn't been paying him any real attention either.

She is now. To Iruka's discomfort, she's also blaming him for allowing the ANBU anywhere near Naruto and Sasuke. He anticipates much attempted pranking in his near future.

Really though, she's acting like he would've allowed any harm to come to Naruto and Sasuke. That's more than a little offensive.

"See you tomorrow, Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun," he says with a smile at them, before allowing himself to show just enough indignity that Mariko will pick up on it but the boys won't. "Mari."

"Iruka," she returns in a way that makes clear she doesn't care one bit that she's overreacting. She's going to be encouraging Naruto's "creativity" for a long time. Which, in turn, will lead to Naruto encouraging Sasuke, Ino and Sakura. What fun this is going to be.

Sasuke, of course, doesn't say goodbye, already back to glaring at the ANBU. But he allows himself to be tugged along by Mariko when she moves to leave.

"Nee-chan, why did he make you late?" Naruto asks while bouncing along, his anger already gone now that he's no longer seeing the ANBU.

"Because he's a nosy ninja who needs to mind his own business," Mariko says in a voice as pointed as a kunai, all but verbally glaring at the ANBU. Now that she and the boys are no longer watching the ANBU, the ANBU allows himself a slight grimace. Aware of just how badly he screwed up.

"Oh," Naruto says like her explanation makes perfect sense. But then, this isn't the first time by far that Mariko has been annoyed by people's curiosity in her home life.

Naruto's reaction is enough to make the worst of Mariko's aggravation fade, amusement rising instead. Which in turn makes Sasuke relax as well, his grip on her hand slackening until it's no longer too tight. Mariko gives both him and Naruto a smile, making Sasuke relax further and causing Naruto to beam up at her.

"Nee-chan, do you have a boyfriend?"

Mariko's smile turns into a grin, a burst of humor lifting her spirits.

"I don't have a boyfriend," she says, an inside joke she's never going to tire of.

"He thinks you do," Sasuke says with a quick glare over his shoulder at the ANBU, though it isn't as fierce as before. The ANBU responds with a smile that's as puzzled as it is friendly.

"He's wrong," Mariko says without looking back at the ANBU. She's still amused, but there's an undercurrent of returning anger as well. "So what did you do today?" she directs at Naruto, distracting herself before she can get worked up again. When Naruto happily launches into a detailed description of his day, Iruke stops enhancing his hearing and gives the ANBU an unimpressed look. Not something he would've ever done if the ANBU was on duty, but this is different.

Iruka doesn't appreciate him coming after his students like this. At all.

"This was cruel," he says with clear warning. Just like Mariko, Iruka has no trouble using Lord Sarutobi's favor to protect his students. And when it comes to Naruto and Sasuke, that favor extends very far indeed.

"I didn't think he'd react this strongly," the ANBU says without a hint of shame, no longer putting on an act now that his targets are out of range. There is a fair amount of regret, though. Apologizing for his behavior and promising it won't happen again.

Iruka couldn't care less about his apology.

"But you knew he'd react," Iruka counters, annoyed at the confirmation that the ANBU had known that Mariko's absence would affect Sasuke, and thus, that it would make him an easier target. Which, really, Sasuke and Naruto are eight year old academy students. Questioning them under normal circumstances isn't exactly hard.

"Didn't have a lot of options," the ANBU says, making Iruka look at him with surprise. An ANBU saying he doesn't have a lot of options holds a wealth of meaning. Chief among them that something, or rather someone, is preventing him and who knows how many others from questioning Naruto and Sasuke. Which means this whole thing was probably thrown together as soon as they spotted an opening. That explains the sloppiness of this operation.

It also leaves on important question. Who exactly is Mariko dating?

"Didn't expect her to get here so soon either," the ANBU says, more to himself than to Iruka. He seems both annoyed and impressed. Really, sloppy operation or not, he's acting like Mariko should've been easy to distract. Iruka would think he hadn't observed her enough to know how important it is to her to both punctually drop off and pick up Naruto and Sasuke from school, except that clearly isn't the case. Did he think she'd be an easy target just because she's a civilian? Here Iruka thought ANBU were supposed to be above that.

Iruka briefly debates on whether to reinforce his warning, or to indulge his curiosity instead. But his warning was delivered clearly. The ANBU is aware both he and Mariko will interfere if something like this happens again.

Iruka decides to indulge his curiosity.

"She's been dating a shinobi for awhile now," Iruka says casually, immediately drawing the ANBU's full attention. "It's bound to have rubbed off."

The ANBU gives him a considering look, debating on whether to take him up on his offer or not. Iruka hopes he will. He's become genuinely interested in who she's dating now, and he's willing to trade information for it. Which he has more than a fair amount of. Sure, he's never held true interest in Mariko's boyfriend before now, but she's been dating him for most of the time he's known her. He's picked up a lot of things about their relationship. Even for a civilian, Mariko isn't exactly subtle.

The ANBU comes to a decision with a falsely casual shrug. Iruka resists the urge to openly perk up.

"Not like it's a secret anymore. She–"

The ANBU stills like he just spotted a threat, throwing Iruka on high alert and making him rapidly examine their surroundings. What could make an ANBU – Hatake Kakashi is walking down the street without a care in the world. The ANBU flickers away.

No.

He keeps staring at Hatake Kakashi, half expecting him to look up from his porn and confirm the realization he's just been hit by. Hatake Kakashi doesn't do that of course but Iruka can't interpret his indifference as anything but a pretense.

Because Mariko is dating Hatake Kakashi. Mariko is dating Kakashi Of The Sharingan. She's dating The Copy Nin. The idea should be absurd except it explains so much. How they managed to keep it hidden from Naruto and Sasuke for so long, how Mariko never has a single identifiable trace on her. The interest the ANBU hold and the extreme measures they just went to.

It explains why Iruka has been seeing Hatake Kakashi leave the Tower so regularly just as class lets out. Hatake Kakashi didn't start doing so right after he and Mariko got back together of course, that would have been far too obvious, but it was close. Close enough that Iruka should have made the connection. And now that Iruka is looking back, he can see how Hatake Kakashi always avoids entering Mariko's, Naruto's and Sasuke's line of sight. Oh, he makes it seem like it isn't intentional, expertly so, but looking back it's so obvious that his avoidance is deliberate.

Most damning of all, Iruka never sees Hatake Kakashi leave the Tower when Mariko's boyfriend is out of town.

Holy crap.

How had Iruka not realized?

---

You threatened them.

Damn straight I did. I can't believe the nerve of them. Terrifying Sasuke just because they're nosy assholes? They need to stay the hell away from him and Naruto both.

It won't happen again.

Good.

Your threat was remarkably effective.

My, aren't we proud of ourselves.

Of you, actually.

Oh?

You successfully threatened them. You would've succeeded even without my help.

"I'm incredibly turned on right now."

"Too bad you'll have to wait until the brats are put to bed. I'm not leaving Sasuke."

"Are you sure I can't convince you to change your mind?"

"Yes. But I won't stop you from trying to prove me wrong."

A wicked smile. A hand tenderly trailing down a cheek.

A delighted shiver.

"Challenge accepted."

---

"Wow."

A satisfied smile.

"Very wow."

A breathless chuckle.

"That was definitely worth the teasing."

"I live to serve."

Fingers trailing over smooth skin. Comfortable silence.

"Why don't you mind?"

"You really want to hear the answer out loud?"

"..."

A sigh. A kiss.

"At the risk of making your allergies act up, you're it, Kakashi. The one I want to spend the rest of my life with. So what does it matter that you need more time to meet the brats or my friends. It's going to happen eventually. With a lot of freaking out– no, don't deny it, there will a lot of freaking out. Which we'll get through of course, I've invested way too much effort for anything else. But until then, I will sit back and enjoy the ridiculousness of it all."

Eyes closing with incredulity.

"God, how is this my life? I–"

A long kiss. And another. And another.

A lower placed kiss.

A soft laugh.

"Don't know if you can top that so soon."

A warm look.

"Won't know until we try."

---

"Really. You too."

"I thought I'd come see what all the fuss is about," Inoichi says with a peaceful smile. Mari rolls her eyes with a wry smile of her own.

"Your life," she says in her typical drawl. "So, what can I get you all?"

"Jasmine for me," Inoichi says.

"I'll have the jasmine as well, as strong as you can make it. And five portions of onigiri," Choza says. Mari gives him an amused look. She's well aware that Choza is planning to eat all of those by himself.

"Shikaku?" Inoichi prompts.

"Jasmine is fine," Shikaku makes the effort to say from where he's slouched down his chair.

"Strong jasmine and five onigiri, coming right up," Mari says before giving him a teasing smile. "Have fun spying."

With that, she goes to prepare their order. Inoichi settles himself more comfortably in his chair and observes the other customers present.

Nearly all of them are shinobi. Inoichi keeps smiling peacefully, not a hint of a grin to be found. This is priceless.

He looks at Choza, keeping the most of the room within sight. The few blind spots he has are covered by Shikaku.

"How's Choji?"

"Good, good. He's finally completed the first stage."

Now that's unexpected. Last time he asked, Choji had still been struggling.

He and Choza continue their small talk, Shikaku occasionally adding in a remark of his own.

Inoichi doesn't let his amusement show as he keeps chatting. The sheer curiosity about Kakashi's relationship with Mari is hilarious. It's also understandable. Kakashi has a reputation, and a girlfriend doesn't fit into it. At all. Kakashi's refusal to confirm his relationship with Mari only fuels people's curiosity to even greater heights.

The basics of their relationship are well known by now of course. Mari and her friends might be tight lipped about the details, but they're also civilians. There's a lot of information to be found in their behavior in general, and even more in their reactions to certain questions.

People know Kakashi has been in a relationship with Mari for almost three years now. Which is impressive. Not many could keep it hidden for that long. Especially not when the people involved are as famous as Kakashi and Mari. Not that people didn't know Mari was in a relationship with someone, you only need one conversation with her at most to figure that out, but people hadn't been able to find out who it was. That is a truly impressive accomplishment on Kakashi's part.

Of course, now that people know Mari is together with The Copy Nin, Kakashi's efforts to keep their relationship private are in vain. Just by observing and questioning Mari and her friends, people figured out that Mari started sleeping with him long before she know who he was, or even what he looked like. They know this whole thing started out as a friends with benefits relationship that grew into something more. They know Mari refers to Kakashi as her "cat" and that they regularly exchange love notes.

And that's just what people have been able to figure out by watching and talking. Reading her latest novel reveals a lot more. The main characters might not be Mari and Kakashi themselves, but you can learn a great deal about writers in general by reading their work. Mari is no exception.

Her novel doesn't reveal too much about Kakashi. The dynamic he has with Mari, yes, that the story makes more than obvious. But his innermost thoughts, his greatest fears and weaknesses, those remain hidden. Kakashi clearly had a hand in the story, in a way he didn't have in her others. Preventing too much information about himself from being revealed.

He didn't, however, prevent a number of his bedroom tastes from getting out. Inoichi is genuinely curious if it was a concession to Mari on his part, given that those parts were the whole reason she even wrote the story in the first place, or if he did it just to mess with people when they inevitably found out about his relationship. Or a combination of the two. All would fit. He's betting it's the first, though. When it comes to his home life, Kakashi takes the definition of need-to-know to a whole new level.

When Mari returns with their order, he chats with her about the latest antics of their kids. Inoichi definitely isn't purposely avoiding the topic of her relationship with Kakashi just to frustrate their audience.

Mari is. The grin she wears and the frequent glances she gives the ninja present make that more than clear. She makes no effort whatsoever to hide just how amusing she finds this whole thing. She'd be annoyed by it if people were questioning her directly, but right now they're content to merely observe her. That's something Mari has no problem with.

When Mari leaves without a single verbal reference to Kakashi, Inoichi can practically hear the mental groans of their audience. For the most part, people no longer come here to get information about Kakashi. They're merely using their curiosity as an excuse to meet up and exchange information. Given that their excuse involves The Copy Nin, people who'd otherwise have no reason to interact with each other now have a reason to meet up. The teahouse is quickly becoming a hotspot for information.

Even so, there's still a fair amount of genuine curiosity as well. Which means people still get frustrated when it seems like they're going to get new information and then they gain nothing at all.

Not everyone is frustrated. By now it's become a game to watch people get frustrated by the lack of new information. For some people at least.

Inoichi, of course, isn't one of those people.

"This is ridiculous," Shikaku mutters, expertly hiding just how entertained he is.

"It's a bit much, yes," Choza says like he hasn't been prodding Inoichi to take him here ever since the news of Kakashi's relationship hit the rumor mill.

"It's to be expected, given who's involved," Inoichi says, setting up the stage.

Choza, always a good sport, helps him set it up further.

"I still can't believe you didn't know."

None of them react as everyone's full attention seamlessly returns to them, the casual conversation filling the air never faltering. Well, the shinobi are paying them attention again.

"I mean, your kids are thick as thieves. You must have noticed something."

"Of course I noticed something," Inoichi says with an unimpressed look, so insulted by the slight against his skills. Why, Choza is practically daring him to reveal all he knows about Mari's and Kakashi's relationship.

Fortunately, Inoichi is above such petty goading.

"But Mari doesn't like to talk about him, and I never felt the need to pry." Not of his own volition at least.

"But you really didn't know?" Choza asks with such innocent interest. "That doesn't sound like you."

Of course it doesn't. It's Inoichi's job to know things. The more information, the smoother the interrogation.

Coincidentally, this means that when Inoichi gossips, people listen. Not that this is in an way relevant to their current situation.

"I really didn't know," Inoichi says honestly and ignores the small slight to his pride he feels. His ignorance might have been caused by a lack of desire to pry into Mari's private life when she so clearly wouldn't appreciate it, but he still should've put the pieces together a lot sooner. There are only so many people who'd go to such lengths to hide their identity. "Looking back it's incredibly obvious, though. There was the whole..." Inoichi makes a gesture that could mean anything. "And then there was..." He makes another gesture.

"Right, I remember you mentioning that," Choza says like he genuinely knows what Inoichi is talking about. "Those things definitely should've tipped you off. I should've realized myself even."

"Right?" Inoichi returns with incredulity and whole hearted agreement. Why, if he'd actually shared some of the signs that are so incredibly obvious in hindsight, both he and Choza would have felt like fools when they finally discovered who exactly Mari is in a relationship with.

As it is, only Inoichi felt like a fool.

Shikaku sips his tea, lazy and indifferent and definitely not amused by his and Choza's antics.

Really, Shikaku is acting like he and Choza are yanking their audience's chain on purpose. They'd never do that. The fact that his and Choza's conversation is making annoyance rise is merely an unintended side effect.

"How are the onigiri?" Inoichi asks. Choza obligingly gives an in depth review of their quality. Hearing an Akimichi wax poetry about food is always a treat.

The fact that the change in topic is frustrating their audience further is another unintended side effect.

He and Choza continue chatting, Shikaku occasionally adding a remark of his own. It's partly meaningless small talk, partly a light hearted exchange of information, and partly planting some rumors for the benefit of their audience.

Mari occasionally moves to serve a customer or chat with the few regulars present, but for the most part she talks to Shiro and Rukia, seated at the counter. People allow it, they can get more out of observing her banter with her friends than by questioning her directly. Well, they can now. It was different at first, but this has been going on for a while now. As evidenced by the focus having shifted from getting information out of Mari, to exchanging information in general.

Inoichi gives some tidbits he knows will be of interest to his teammates, while Choza and Shikaku give him updates on some of his side projects. Most of it is positive, but one report from Choza does require him to make some slight adjustments to one of his plans. It would be a shame if he failed to get Shito to make up with his mother.

Inoichi keeps an ear on the various conversations filling the air, mentally filing away anything relevant. Of which there is a lot. Again, this is quickly becoming a hotspot for information gathering.

Inoichi is just telling Shikaku of a meeting he witnessed that Shikaku might find useful when he senses a distinct and rapidly approaching presence. He falls silent and turns to face the entrance. So does every shinobi present, the sudden silence startling the civilians. Subtlety has fled the building.

Because Konoha's Sublime Green Beast Of Prey appears dramatically in the doorway and gives Mari the fiercest of stares.

Gai bursts into tears, blurs forward, and grasps a bewildered Mari's hand.

"Such Flames of Youth! Mariko-san, you are truly a most Shining Flower among all of Konoha's Beautiful Blossoms!"

Gai cries harder. Mari stares, her mind made blank the whirlwind that is Gai. Everyone else is staring as well. Stunned in the case of the civilians in general, horrified in the specific case of Shiro and Rukia, and full of gleeful anticipation in the case of the shinobi. Even Shikaku is openly smirking.

This is going to be great.

Mari's friend and owner of the teahouse comes out of the kitchen, drawn out by Gai's volume.

"What's going on–" She falls silent when confronted with the flashy and obscenely skintight spandex that Gai is wearing.

Her words are enough to pull Mari out of her shock. She gains an amused smile as she looks over the dramatic picture Gai present, though there's some worry over his crying as well. And some appreciation of Gai's physical appeal. Her feelings are topped off with impersonal recognition.

"You must be Maito Gai," she drawls. She might not have met Gai before, but everyone in Konoha has heard of The Sublime Green Beast Of Prey. He creates a spectacle wherever he goes. Not to mention that Gai's name has been dropped a few times in the various interrogations she's gone through. It soon became clear that she has no idea of who Gai is in relation to Kakashi though, and so people stopped mentioning him. No one wants to incur the wrath of The Copy Nin.

Gai's tears disappear as quickly as they appeared. He gives her a blinding smile, releases her hand and strikes a Good Guy pose.

"Indeed I am! Konoha's Sublime Green Beast Of Prey, Maito Gai, at your service!"

His teeth glitter in a display of chakra control as humorous as it is impressive.

Mari's smile turns into a grin, delighted by the unexpected show she's being treated to.

"A pleasure to meet you, Gai," she says sincerely. The brightness of Gai's smile increases, genuinely touched by her welcome.

"The pleasure is all mine! I have just finished reading all your work, and I am Delighted to meet the creator of such Youthful Stories! My Rival is a lucky man!"

Mari's eyes widen with shock, immediately realizing who Gai is referring to.

"Your rival?" she demands, incredulous and desperately hoping that she understood Gai correctly.

Gai has no trouble confirming her assumption.

"Indeed! Kakashi is my Eternal Rival! His eleven wins to my nine are a Testament to his Skills!"

Mari snorts with hysterical laughter, looking like she just got the most wonderful of gifts.

"Your Eternal Rival," she says to herself, almost unable to believe something as amazing as this could be happening.

Gai beams brighter, his already high spirits lifted even further by her own reaction.

"Correct! My Rival is Hip and Cool, full of Youthful Vigor and Unyielding Determination!"

The yell is accompanied by a hip movement that should be obscene with the outfit he's wearing, but which somehow remains almost innocent. Almost.

Watching Gai is always such a treat.

"There is no other I Admire as I Admire him!"

Translation, Gai is hopelessly in love with Kakashi. And he never bothers to hide this fact. Or anything else he feels. Gai is open about his feelings in a way that inspires equal admiration and incredulity. Shinobi shouldn't be able to act like he does, yet there Gai is anyway.

Mari, of course, completely misses the fact that Gai is head over heels for Kakashi. She would've missed it even under normal circumstances, but right now it's literally impossible for her to pick up on it.

Right now, she can't do anything but burst out laughing. She's utterly delighted by the notion of Kakashi being chased around by Gai, well aware that he'd never agree to being someone's Eternal Rival. Especially not to someone as attention grabbing as Gai.

It would've been different if Gai had approached her in private. By approaching her in public, however, Mari understands just how annoyed Kakashi must be by Gai's insistence to claim him as his Eternal Rival. Though she wouldn't be able to consciously articulate why she made that connection. She wouldn't care about being able to explain the reasoning behind her conclusion either.

What she cares about is that she's going to be able to tease Kakashi about this forever.

Mari's laughter makes her friends break down laughing as well. Her coworkers at least. Shiro and Rukia are still horrified by the fashion disaster that is Gai. It's made even worse by the involuntary attraction they feel.

Most other civilians start laughing as well, though not as manically as Mari and her friends. The shinobi take this as their cue to start chatting again, though this time no information is being exchanged. That would only distract from the wonderful show they're being treated to. No one is bothering to hide that all of their attention is on Gai and Mari either. Only part of that has to do with the possibility of gaining new information about Kakashi. Gai alone is always worth watching. Grins, smiles and smirks fill the air.

Inoichi continues his previous tale to Choza and Shikaku, also not bothering to contain his grin as he keeps watching Mari, now leaning on the counter for support. She's almost crying from the force of her laughter, her reaction spurred to even greater heights by the laughter of her friends.

Gai himself is watching Mari with a pleased smile, happy with the reaction he's inspired. Gai enjoys making people laugh.

Yet while he's pleased by her reaction, he's also watching her with an intensity he rarely shows. Dissecting every single thing about her in a way he doesn't often feel the need to do.

He's making sure Mari loves Kakashi as much as her latest novel implies.

It doesn't take him long to conclude that she is, in fact, as head over heels for Kakashi as Gai himself is. Whenever Mari thinks of Kakashi, she might as well be wearing a sign saying that she's madly in love with him.

When he's satisfied with his assessment, Gai strikes another Good Guy pose.

"Yosh! Mariko-san, you are a True Equal to my Eternal Rival!"

Mari laughs harder, oblivious to the fact that she just passed an important test. Gai wouldn't have tried to ruin hers and Kakashi's relationship if she'd failed of course, he'd never hurt Kakashi like that, but he wouldn't have felt any real desire to grow close to her either. By his standards at least. To Gai, anyone who makes Kakashi happy is a person worth knowing.

Now that he's approved of Mari completely, however, he wants to get to know her for himself as well.

Gai is lucky. Befriending Mari will be easy. Ignoring the fact that he could effortlessly win her over just by sharing tales of his challenges with Kakashi, Mari will genuinely like him for his personality. He's loud, bright, stubborn as a mule, clever in all the ways that matter, and optimistic to a fault.

In other words, he's an adult version of Naruto. Mari is going to adore Gai. And Gai is going to adore her right back. Only part of that will have to do with how happy she makes Kakashi.

And Kakashi is going to despair. He'll never be able to escape Gai now. What a shame.

Inoichi wonders how Gai found out about Kakashi's relationship. While an observant man, Gai has the disadvantage of the entire rumor mill working against him. Everyone is well aware that whoever let this knowledge slip to Gai, intentional or otherwise, is going to face the full wrath of The Copy Nin when found. This is a fate to be avoided at all costs.

Yet somehow Gai found out. Somehow, someone let something slip.

Inoichi wonders how that happened. He's also so glad he just happened to pick this particular time to visit Mari.

When Mari finally regains control over her laughter, she wastes no time in inviting Gai to take a seat and to order whatever he wants, her treat. Gai tries to insist on paying himself but Mari won't hear of it. She's going to treat him no matter what. It's the least she can do after he made her week like this.

Gai counters that he must pay her back some other way, his cheerful offer delivered with a mischievousness people who don't know him are always so surprised by. When Mari tries to refuse, he skillfully steers the conversation so she'll ask after the challenges between him and Kakashi. Less than a third of which involve spars. The rest are contests, each more silly than the last.

It delights Mari even further. Even better, Gai is more than willing to "repay" her for her treat by sharing, in detail, what happened during these contests.

Gai just became one of her favorite customers. By the end of this conversation, he'll be her favorite, period. A few more conversations and she'll start thinking of him as a true friend.

Kakashi is going to hate this. Inoichi, on the other hand, is quite pleased with this development. Mari already has a strong support system, but it never hurts to expand it. Same for Gai. And this is good for Kakashi as well. No matter how much he denies it, Gai's refusal to leave him alone is comforting. If Gai were to ever stop, Kakashi would be incredibly hurt. His issues might prevent him from admitting it, but Gai is one of only two people that Kakashi considers to be his friends. Well, three including Mari, but Mari occupies another position in Kakashi's support system. A far more vital one.

If Mari were to die right now, Kakashi would lose the final grip he has on his remaining sanity. That will change once he's introduced himself to Naruto and Sasuke and be forced to grow close to them against his will, but for now, Mari's continued survival is the only thing holding him together.

Which is why it's so good that Mari and Gai are going to be friends. Gai's involvement in her life will make the relationship between Gai and Kakashi progress much faster than it otherwise would. Which means that if Mari does die, Gai will hopefully be able to keep Kakashi from following her. With help from Naruto, Sasuke and Cat of course, but Naruto and Sasuke aren't old enough by far to support Kakashi the way he needs to be supported. As for Cat, he lacks the social skills needed to pull someone away from the edge. Especially when it involves a case as severe as Kakashi.

Inoichi has always known that Kakashi's state of mind is unstable. You don't need to be a Yamanaka to figure that out. But it wasn't until he was called in to evaluate Kakashi's mental fitness after he and Mari broke up that he realized just how close to the edge Kakashi is. How much he relies on coping mechanisms just to be able to function. It became even worse after he was discharged from ANBU and lost the anchor he'd build his entire sense of purpose around. Especially because the loss came on the heels of losing two of what had been only four people that Kakashi considered to be friends.

Despite that, Inoichi doesn't regret recommending that Kakashi be pulled from ANBU. Yes, the loss has made Kakashi more fragile, but it offers him the opportunity to heal as well. He wouldn't have been capable of that if he could still hide in the mindless obedience of Wolf.

It was a risk to pull him from ANBU. It was an even greater risk for him to get back together with Mari. She already held a position equal to that of ANBU in keeping Kakashi sane, but her importance became even greater after Kakashi was discharged. Unhealthily so. Kakashi getting back together with her has only worsened his codependency.

Despite that, Inochi had been planning to get them back together. Yes, Kakashi's codependency is unhealthy at the moment, but the relationship will eventually lead to him expending his support system to a decent level. It'll take time of course, Kakashi has years of bad habits to break. But if things go well, he'll one day be able to lose Mari and still live a moderately happy life.

And if Inoichi has to perform some nudges to ensure things go well, he'll gladly take up that responsibility. It had grated when he'd utterly failed to help Kakashi during his evaluation. This is a great way to get rid of his lingering aggravation.

It's a way to recover from the things he had to do to keep the village safe after the Uchiha Massacre. There are other things he does as well, but making people happy is one of the best ways to soothe his conscience.

All shinobi have coping mechanisms to deal with the darker aspects of their job. The trick is to develop healthy ones. And to maintain a strong support system.

Inoichi watches as Mari hangs onto Gai's every word as he describes the dance off he had with Kakashi, some of the guilt gnawing at this mind fading away. Gai and Mari becoming friends is going to be good for everyone involved. It's a shame it took this long for it to happen, but Kakashi needed time to settle into his relationship with Mari before it became public knowledge. Though Inoichi is genuinely surprised it went undetected for so long. In hindsight, it's incredibly obvious. Even to people who don't know Kakashi personally.

It was such a stroke of luck that one of Kakashi's former teammates just happened to read Mari's latest novel. Who knows how long their relationship would have remained hidden otherwise. Not that Inoichi had anything to do with that development.

He still can't believe it took him evaluating Kakashi to realize what was going on, though. Mari's had a cat for as long as he's known her.

---

I'm back.

Laughter.

I'm not going to like this, am I.

You have a rival.

A loud snort, a wide grin.

You have an Eternal Rival.

Laughter.

I can't even

More laughter.

Feet running down the stairs.

"Nee-chan, what's so funny?"

"Obviously the cat's back. Idiot."

"Bastard!"

"No–"

Laughter being smothered, deep breaths.

"No fighting inside."

"But nee-chan!"

"No buts."

A pout.

A smirk.

A snort. A wide grin. Laughter.

"Why do you think the cat's back?"

"Idiot. She never laughs like that unless the cat's here."

"Bastard. And really?"

"You're such a moron. Just look."

More laughter.

"...Huh. You're right. She never laughs like that unless the cat's here."

"Told you."

---

This isn't a big deal. Of course it isn't. Their relationship is common knowledge by now. Dropping by would be normal.

Kakashi remains hidden instead. It's irrational, but meeting Meiri in public feels dangerous. Like he'd be taunting fate even worse than he already is.

When he first agreed to stay, he expected her to die. He still expects it. He loves her and everyone Kakashi loves dies. That's just the way the world works. But as the months passed and nothing happened to Meiri, the constant terror of losing her started to lessen.

It's back now. Even stronger than before.

Their relationship is common knowledge. By now, the other villages will have heard of it as well. What if someone comes after her? What if they hurt her to get to him? What if he isn't there to protect her?

What if he is there and he fails to protect her? What if he has to watch her die like everyone else he's ever loved? Kakashi is never strong enough to save the people that matter to him. He won't be able to save Meiri either.

He won't be able to survive losing her. Won't be able to pull himself together again.

Not without Wolf.

It was so easy to lose himself in Wolf. To have nothing matter beyond obeying the Third. But Wolf is gone – Wolf is gone – and has been since the Third dismissed him from ANBU. Which means Kakashi is now going on missions instead of Wolf. And it's driving him mad. He can handle short missions, ones that take him out of the village for a few days, a week at most, but anything longer than that?

He worries. He does from the moment he leaves the village, but it's manageable at first.

After a week, it starts turning to panic. What if something happens to Meiri while he's gone? What if someone comes after her? What if she's in the wrong place at the wrong time? What if she wanders onto a training field and gets hit by a stray technique, what if she falls and breaks her neck, what if she chokes on a drink and suffocates, what if she gets struck by lightning, what if, what if?

She is so vulnerable.

It's different with Naruto and Sasuke. For one, he – can't – doesn't love them, though he'll admit he's grown fond of them. For another, they're academy students. While they're as vulnerable as Meiri right now, they won't always be. They'll be able to protect themselves eventually.

Meiri never will. Even if she trains every single day, she'll never be stronger than a half trained academy student at best. The damage to her chakra system made certain of that.

Which means Kakashi can't help but start thinking of worst case scenarios whenever he's gone for longer than a few days.

If it was up to him, he'd never take on a mission that requires him to leave the village for longer than a week. Unfortunately, even with the need to protect Meiri, he still gets restless after a while. Which causes him to push Meiri's buttons even more than usual, and while that's fine for a short while, it never takes long for it to reach the point where Meiri all but kicks him out the door, refusing to let him back in until he stops being an even bigger bastard than usual. Which leads to Kakashi taking on a longer mission, which leads to him struggling with a worry that only grows stronger the longer he's away. It's a vicious circle. Being away for a few weeks does help him get rid of his restlessness, though.

The upside of his anxiety is that he's even more efficient than Wolf was at completing missions. The downside is that he's on the verge of a panic attack the entire time. The only reason his mental struggle doesn't make him sloppy is because he promised Meiri he'll always take care of himself. He promised he'll do all he can to return to her.

Kakashi has no intention of breaking that promise. He might not be strong enough to save her, but his protection is still better than nothing. Yes, his reputation makes Meiri a tempting target to some, but it works as a deterrent to many more.

Of course, Meiri would be a tempting target even without him. It was fine when she was only taking care of Naruto, the other villages believe he's a decoy for the real Jinchuriki. The Last Uchiha is another case entirely, though. There's a reason she was kept under such close watch until they managed to get their internal security back in order.

So really, their relationship becoming public knowledge is a good thing. It makes her a greater target in some ways, but in most it lessens the danger she's in.

Now if only he can convince the part of him screaming he's going to get her killed of that.

Kakashi focuses on Meiri's scent and heat signature. She's fine right now. Is having a lot of fun with the ninja still refusing to leave despite the hour, in fact. Among which are Yuugao and Mio, no longer in disguise. Now that his and Meiri's relationship is public knowledge, they can drop by without compromising their identity as ANBU.

Kakashi makes a mental note to ruin another of Mio's one night stands and to embarrass Yuugao in front of her crush again. Better security for Meiri or not, he's still pissed that they outed his relationship. If they hadn't figured it out, none of this would have ever happened.

Of course, his harassment of them is nowhere near to what he's doing to Ichiro. Mio and Yuugao might have started this whole thing, but it was Ichiro who escalated it by revealing his relationship to the General Forces. Ichiro is going to pay for that. A lot. Which Ichiro knew would happen when he showed up at the academy, but that didn't stop him from doing it anyway. Clearly, Kakashi is losing his touch. He'll have to work on that.

Ichiro is ideal practice target. And really, the training will be good for Ichiro. If he can survive Kakashi's harassment with his sanity relatively intact, he can lead – Wolf's – his former team as well.

At least Tenzo respects his desire for privacy. Kakashi might have trouble – forgiving him – admitting his gratitude, but that doesn't mean the feeling isn't there.

He knows he's being unfair to Tenzo. If Tenzo had acted as he did after his fight with Meiri, if Tenzo lost himself in Cat in the way Kakashi lost himself in Wolf, Kakashi might have reported Tenzo himself.

Or rather, Wolf would have reported Tenzo. Cat is a great asset, but Tenzo regressing like that would have awful long term consequences for his mental health, and that's something Wolf wouldn't have allowed. Even as Wolf, the safety of his teammates comes before all else. Orders can always be creatively interpreted to put their safety first.

Or rather, Wolf used creatively interpret orders. He no longer does because Wolf is gone – Wolf is gone – and Kakashi is still struggling with the loss of his greatest coping mechanism. Still struggling with the gaping abyss where there used to be detached calculation, with the terror and uncertainty where there used to be purpose.

The few who knew of the full extent of the division between Wolf and Kakashi called his behavior unhealthy. Kakashi has always disagreed with that conclusion. Wolf was how he managed to keep going after losing Sensei. Wolf was what prevented him from following Father's example.

Wolf gave him the time he needed to start putting the broken pieces of himself back together.

Tenzo taught him how to be Kakashi again.

It's ironic. Before Tenzo, Kakashi never felt the need to be in control, content to let Wolf take the reins even when off duty. Oh, he felt things and he formed opinions on the things happening around him, but he can count the times he acted on them on both hands and still have fingers to spare. And that initiative always happened while off duty. Then he met Tenzo, and for the first time Kakashi took over during a mission. He prevented Wolf from killing Tenzo, no matter the physical pain it caused to keep Wolf from fulfilling his orders. Looking back, he's still not entirely sure why he did it. Compassion, maybe. Pity, definitely. But Kakashi had felt those things before Tenzo, and it had never prevented him from letting Wolf carry out his duty.

Yet for some reason, he spared Tenzo. Then the Third placed Tenzo under Wolf's command and suddenly Kakashi was taking control more than he ever had.

Because Tenzo was exactly like Wolf. No feelings, no opinions not related to the mission, no existence beyond carrying out orders. That was fine for Kakashi, Wolf's existence kept him functional, but Tenzo...

Tenzo didn't have a split personality like Kakashi did. He didn't have a safe outlet for flashes of likes and dislikes that had nothing to do with the mission, didn't have a place to let himself feel things. And it was breaking him. No matter how hard Tenzo tried, sometimes he did feel things that had nothing to do with the mission. And he had no idea what to do with those feelings. Which meant they manifested as irrational acts that sometimes endangered the mission, which in turn caused Tenzo to spiral into despair because nothing is more important than the mission, which then caused him to act irrationally again, making Tenzo's downward spiral even worse.

So Kakashi taught him how to compartmentalize those feelings. He taught Tenzo how to be Cat while on duty and Tenzo when he was off duty.

Ironically, Kakashi learned how to be himself again by teaching Tenzo how to do it.

But Wolf was still there. Even off duty, Wolf was always ready to take over when Kakashi needed it.

Except he no longer is. The Third ordered Wolf to leave ANBU. He ordered him to disappear, and Wolf always obeys the Third.

So Wolf is gone – Wolf is gone – and Kakashi is still struggling with that loss. Which means he's still struggling with the anger and betrayal he feels towards Tenzo.

Because Tenzo knows exactly how important Wolf was to Kakashi. And he still reported him. Yes, the Third might have pulled Kakashi from ANBU even without that, but the mental evaluation he was under when – Itachi – the Uchiha Massacre happened definitely didn't help.

So yes, Kakashi is still angry with Tenzo. Probably will be for a while yet. He was getting better before the reveal of his relationship with Meiri, but that reveal has thrown his – fear, terror, panic – anger back to the foreground. Irrational, yes, unfair, definitely.

Doesn't stop him from being angry. Because of Tenzo, Kakashi can no longer hide from his fear and worry. Because of Tenzo, he has no respite from the panic constantly threatening to pull him under.

Because of Tenzo, it's even harder to be with Meiri than it otherwise would be.

He know it's unfair to blame Tenzo. And Kakashi does his best not to take it out on him, he really does. He just fails to succeed no matter how hard he tries.

He fails because he no longer has Wolf to fall back on.

Kakashi is going to get over Tenzo's reporting of him eventually. In time he'll be able to train with Tenzo again and have a conversation with him that last longer than a few sentences. But for now, it's best for the both of them that he keeps his distance.

It soothes the part of him insisting he's going to get Tenzo killed by continuing to associate with him now that he's no longer his superior. Tenzo – can't be – isn't his friend of course, Kakashi no longer has friends, but an irrational part of him is convinced that merely associating with him would be dangerous to Tenzo's health. He feels it a little with the rest of – Wolf's – his former team as well, but his fear is so much stronger when it comes to Tenzo. Tenzo might not be his friend, but he's the closest thing Kakashi has to it.

He's as close to Kakashi as Shisui was.

Shisui not being his friend didn't prevent him from dying – like Father – and if Shisui can die like that, it can happen to Tenzo as well.

He knows that Shisui didn't die – like Father – because of him. Unfortunately, his guilt complex doesn't care about that one bit. Kakashi can't help but feel like Shisui's death is his fault, despite knowing intellectually that isn't the case.

He can't help but feel responsible for Itachi – abandoning him – betraying them. Itachi hadn't been his friend either, but for some incomprehensible reason, Itachi – is a traitor – decided that he liked him and started bothering him off duty, no matter how inhospitable Kakashi acted. Then Shisui joined in and the harassment became impossible to escape. It got even worse when Shisui befriended Tenzo.

Except Shisui and Itachi no longer bother him, because Shisui is dead and Itachi is a traitor. Because Kakashi doesn't need to love people for them to – leave him – die. Interacting with him on a regular basis is more than enough.

Kakashi allows himself a silent sigh. This right here is why he needs Wolf. When he gets into a downward spiral like this, it's almost impossible to pull himself out of it.

With Wolf it was easy. He merely had to let Wolf take over and he could hide for as long as he needed. He could ignore his feelings until they lowered to manageable levels again.

He can no longer do that. He has to carry these feelings all on his own, and there are so many times he fears they're going to suffocate them. He hides just how unstable his state of mind is, having all his issues laid bare again would only make them even worse, but sometimes he feels like all it would take to shatter him in a thousand pieces is a single breeze.

When he feels like that, he's found that there are two things he can do that allow him to claw himself back to a semblance of sanity. The first is to go to – Obito, Rin, Sensei – the Memorial Stone and dissociate for hours at a time. Not a productive thing to and he always feels wrecked afterwards, but it gets him out of the immediate danger of having a mental breakdown.

The second is to piss off Meiri. Not tease her like usual but genuinely annoy her. Push all her buttons until she snaps and vows to take revenge, until she calls him out on his behavior. Until she's genuinely angry with him.

Having her angry with him makes it possible to regain control over the voice screaming that she's going to die because she loves him. Not that she doesn't love him even when mad, but having her angry with him is enough to soothe the terror threatening to pull him under.

He usually goes for the first option. Ruining Meiri's day just because his issues are acting up isn't fair to her. But sometimes the need to have her – stop loving him – angry with him is too great to resist.

Meiri never blames him for that. Oh, she gets mad at him, but she understands why he's doing it. She's willing to take this part of him in stride, as she does with every one of his neuroses. She'll put her foot down if he does it too often, but otherwise she'll let him off the hook with some harmless revenge.

Kakashi genuinely can't understand why she – loves him – puts up with so much of his crap. It isn't just this, it's every time one his quirks, as Meiri calls his neuroses, acts up. Like his need to keep hidden from her loved ones. Does she want him to meet them, yes, of course she does. But she's more than willing to give him the time he needs to get ready for that.

It isn't a selfless act. The opposite. Meiri isn't unkind but she is selfish. As long as she has him in her life in the way she wants, meaning in a committed relationship, she's more than willing to ignore the frustration her friends feel at his refusal to introduce himself. There's a limit to how much she'll ignore of course, but it's a pretty big limit. One made even bigger by her going out of her way to help her friends more than usual. She won't apologize for not pushing the issue of him introducing himself, but she'll offer some compensation for the frustration it causes.

Honestly, if it was up to Kakashi, he'd hide from her loved ones forever. It's not like her friends need to speak with him. They're Meiri's friends, not his, and him avoiding them can only aid their continued survival. Especially when it comes to – Sensei's son and Itachi's little brother – Naruto and Sasuke.

Is the feeling that he'll cause Meiri to lose her loved ones if he shows himself irrational? Yes it is.

Doesn't stop him from feeling that way.

Of course, even in the best case scenario, he'd only be able to hide himself until Naruto and Sasuke graduate. That's a milestone Meiri won't let pass without him showing himself. And if he shows himself to Naruto and Sasuke, she'll insist he introduce himself to her friends as well. It wouldn't be fair to them otherwise.

Except he's decided to introduce himself now. If he shows himself to her in public, she won't let him get out of showing himself to her friends and Naruto and Sasuke. If he can reveal himself to strangers, he can reveal himself to her loved ones as well.

The irony is that revealing himself to strangers is a lot less anxiety inducing than the idea of introducing himself to her loved ones. Which is why he's chosen to appear on an evening Meiri is closing down the teahouse on her own, her friends out on a date. All her friends already know about him of course, but it's different to show himself in person.

As for Naruto and Sasuke, he's looking forward to that even less. Her friends he would only see occasionally, but Naruto and Sasuke? They would see him daily. They would interact with him daily.

Kakashi already knows how the whole thing is going to go down. Sasuke is going to be suspicious at first, but he'll warm up when he sees that Meiri trusts him. Then he'll start pestering him about training.

Kakashi can handle that. He already has several regimes in mind for both Sasuke and Naruto. The training at the academy is... adequate for what it's meant to do, but it's also general. There are some variations per student, but it isn't tailored to their specific needs. There are several points Naruto and Sasuke need to work on, and he's long since composed different regimes to capitulate on their individual strengths and to lessen their weaknesses. He's already giving them pointers through Meiri of course, but there are many things he can only teach them hands on.

Training he can handle. What he isn't looking forward to is everything else. Naruto is going to accept him as part of "the family" right from the start. He won't just pester him about training, though there will be a lot of that as well, but he's going to drag him into games and make him awful drawings and ask him to show him "cool tricks" and basically destroy all the peace and quiet Kakashi finds in Meiri's home.

Meiri, of course, is going to goad on Naruto and Sasuke the entire time. She's going to enjoy every single moment of his suffering and she won't feel a shred of shame over doing so. Sometimes he truly wonders why he – didn't leave when he still had the chance – loves this woman.

Kakashi isn't looking forward to introducing himself to Naruto and Sasuke at all. He – can't love them – might be fond of them, but it's a fondness best experienced at a distance. He's perfectly happy keeping an eye on them for Meiri or passing along pointers for their pranks and training, but he doesn't have any desire for more contact than that.

Unfortunately, being in a relationship with Meiri makes it impossible to avoid them in the way he wants to do. He can put it off, but he knew from the beginning that his decision to stay meant he'd have to reveal himself to them eventually. Ignoring Meiri's awful attempts at denial, it couldn't be more clear that Naruto and Sasuke are for all intend and purposes her children. Not in the same way, Naruto never knew – Kushina – his mother and so it was natural for her to take that place. Her relationship with Sasuke is different, she'd never try to replace his mother, but that doesn't change the fact that she's taken on the role of parent for him as well. Neither does it change that both Naruto and Sasuke treat her like she's their parent, though Sasuke isn't capable of admitting that yet.

He's pulled out of his musing when Meiri goes into the kitchen. She's putting some dirty dishes away, meaning he now has a set time to get into the optimal position to reveal himself.

He remains where he is instead.

Kakashi doesn't want to do this. If he does this, he'll no longer be able to pretend that everything is the same as before Meiri told him she loves him. It isn't the same of course, but until now he's mostly been able to pretend it is.

If he does this, he'll no longer be able to do that. He'll no longer be able to deny to the world at large that he's in a committed relationship with Meiri.

He'll no longer be able to deny that he loves her. Not that Kakashi isn't excruciatingly aware of this terrifying fact at all times, but by hiding their relationship from the world, his love for her felt hidden as well. Sure, their relationship might be public knowledge, but as long as he doesn't confirm this fact, he can fool himself into thinking his love for her is still hidden.

He can fool himself into thinking that as long as he keeps his love for her hidden, there might be a small chance that he won't lose her.

If he does this, that will change. If he does this, he's going to lose her.

If he does this, he's going to break.

Unlike before, Wolf won't be able to take over until he can pull himself together again.

Kakashi closes his eye with a grimace, aggravated by his own thoughts. He's overreacting. He knows he is.

Doesn't make it any easier to silence the part of him screaming with terror.

He didn't used to feel this way. Until Meiri told him she loves him, until their fight in which she tore apart his every denial, he didn't fear for her safety. Oh, he'd been perfectly aware of just how vulnerable she is, but he didn't truly believe something was going to happen to her. The deepest part of him assumed she'd always be there. Assumed he'd always be able to drop by and relax by bantering with her and by pushing her buttons. And by having brain melting sex, as Meiri so eloquently puts it.

That changed when – Itachi – the Uchiha Massacre happened. It made him break through Wolf for the first time since their fight, it made it impossible to stay away from Meiri. Made it impossible not to worry over her safety.

If the entire Uchiha Clan can be wiped out in one night, none of them are safe. Itachi might be a traitor, but everyone with even a lick of sense can see that something more is going on. Why didn't anyone sound the alarm? Why were almost all the Uchiha in their District in the first place? There'd barely been a skeleton crew of the Police Force patrolling the streets, far less than should ever be allowed in peace time. And no one noticed when Itachi took out that skeleton crew.

Then there was the aftermath. Not so much as a whisper of the internal investigation was leaked. There were no purposeful rumors released, no spin given to the story. No damage control to lessen the blow to the Leaf's reputation.

Most damning of all, the Third shut down any inquiry into the Massacre hard.

Itachi is a traitor and he wiped out his entire Clan. That is the only story allowed to circulate. And the fact that this is the only story allowed despite all the things that don't add up, means something is very, very wrong.

It means – Itachi is a traitor – this was partly caused by internal politics.

Kakashi forces his thoughts away from – Itachi being a traitor – this topic. It he thinks too long about it, it starts driving him mad. Not merely because – Meiri isn't safe – of the unease it inspires or because it makes him remember – Shisui and Itachi – that Itachi is a traitor, but because it just doesn't make sense. It feels like he has all the pieces needed to understand what happened, yet for some reason – Itachi is a traitor – they refuse to come together.

Kakashi isn't used to being unable to make sense of things. It's – wrong – incredibly aggravating. So aggravating that he actually feels phantom itching in Obito's eye whenever he thinks too long about – Itachi being a traitor – this whole disaster.

It had been even worse in the beginning. Everything had been worse. His blind terror over Meiri's safety, his struggle with Wolf's absence and Tenzo's – betrayal – involvement in it. His – pain – guilt over – losing – what happened to Shisui and Itachi. But he'd slowly been recovering. As time passed, he'd been able to gain control over the fear clawing at his mind, despite no longer having Wolf to hide in. There had been a few exceptions, Danzo's visit to Meiri being the worst by far, but for the most part he'd been getting better.

He'd been getting better by watching over Meiri. By seeing her push through despite the fear she was struggling with herself. Fear that Sasuke would never recover, fear that taking him in would damage Naruto forever.

She feared that she was going to fail them both. Feared that she was going to have to choose between them. That she'd have to abandon Sasuke in order to save Naruto.

And still she didn't give up. No matter how hard it got, no matter how many times she broke down, she always pulled herself together and kept going.

She kept fighting to become happy again. Kept fighting to make her loved ones be happy again as well.

She succeeded in becoming happy again. Not all the time, but the times where she was happy slowly started surpassing the times she wasn't. Seeing that, seeing her recover from – losing Shisui and Itachi – something as painful as this, made it possible for him to start recovering as well.

And then Pakkun had the nerve to show himself to Meiri, and the confirmation that he was still watching over her was enough to make her decode their story. Or rather, one of the most – likely to happen – cruel versions of their story.

She forced him to confront the fact that he's going to lose her no matter what. She's going to die no matter what. Maybe, just maybe, it won't happen soon – yes it will – but eventually she's going to die. Eventually he's going to lose her. And it will break him forever.

So why can't he be with her until that happens?

Kakashi allows himself another moment to observe Meiri, before he pulls himself together. He said he was going to do this and he's not backing out now. Because backing out would be useless. Him avoiding her in public doesn't change the fact that everyone knows that they're in a relationship.

Even so, he would've kept up his avoidance a lot longer if not for one important fact.

Gai knows. Gai, the person who harasses more than everyone else combined, knows. And unlike everyone else, Kakashi can't threaten him into shutting up about his relationship while he's within earshot. Gai just takes it as a challenge. And as yesterday's harassment has proven, Gai is now constantly going to bring up his relationship with Meiri, asking how his "Beautiful Blossom" is doing, or chattering about the latest talk he had with her.

Because Gai is talking with Meiri. A lot.

That's the worst part of this whole thing. Meiri likes Gai. She thinks he's funny and entertaining. He's already her favorite customer bar none, and only part of that is caused by the stories about him that Gai has no problem sharing.

Meiri and Gai are becoming friends. He knew that was inevitable, but actually seeing it happen is something else entirely.

Gai – loves him – is never going to leave him alone. Kakashi was already well aware of this horrible fact, but Gai befriending Meiri means that he won't be able to keep her presence separate from the – danger – rest of his life.

It means he can no longer delude himself into thinking his love for her is hidden. Which means it's pointless to keep avoiding her in public as well. Not that Kakashi is going to make a habit of visiting her in public, but as long as he doesn't do it even once, people are going to keep using her as an excuse to exchange information. It's time to draw some very clear limits on what he'll allow.

Using Meiri as an information hotspot isn't something he'll allow any longer. Gai has made sure of that.

When Kakashi finally finds out who orchestrated the slip up to Gai, he's going to take revenge on an unheard of scale. And the very fact that he hasn't been able to find definite proof of the culprit yet drastically lessens the pool of suspects.

He's pretty sure Inoichi is the one behind it. Even ignoring his personal investment, this is exactly the kind of thing that meddlesome gossip would organize. Kakashi just needs to find a snippet of evidence to support his suspicions and he's all set to go. Can't harass the Head of the Yamanaka Clan without proof of his accusations after all. Or without blackmail, but Kakashi has long since gotten dirt on all the major players in Konoha. And most of the minor ones as well.

When his mental countdown for when Meiri leaves the kitchen reaches zero, he's forced to admit he can't put things off any longer. Putting some distance between himself and the Dancing Dragon, he grabs his current Icha Icha volume, opens it to his favorite scene, and unobtrusively slides out of stealth. Casually walking to the Dancing Dragon, careful not to notify the shinobi inside as to who's approaching, he enters like there's nothing out of the ordinary about him being here.

They way everyone falls silent and openly stares at him lifts his spirits a great deal. He might be having trouble with all the interest in his personal life, but he won't deny it can be pretty entertaining as well. Meiri's utter shock is especially satisfying. It's been awhile since he caught her off guard like this.

She's standing behind the counter, not yet talking with one of the customers, as he intended. It would be a shame to lessen the impact of his appearance by her first needing to finish a conversation before she can talk to him.

He walks forward while reading about Yami and Aiko being forced to share a room with only one bed, unobtrusively observing everyone present. Aside from Mio and Yuugao, he doesn't personally know any of the shinobi present. He can take a decent guess at their rank and position just by looking at them, though. He can take an even better guess by analyzing where he's seen them before and how they acted then.

Mio and Yuugao are the only Jounin present. Next to them there's a group of three Chunin belonging to Intelligence, one of who is ANBU. There's another Chunin that holds an administrative position in the Genin Corps, seated with two career Genin who work in Maintenance. No regulars, courtesy of the hour and this being one of Renji's and Tori's date nights.

He takes a seat at the counter, not bothering to hide his amusement at the shock aimed his way.

Meiri recovers first. A wide smile splits her face, every part of her radiating with joy. She knows exactly what it means that he's showing up here.

She leans her arms on the counter, her stance so open that seven different ways to kill her instantly spring to mind. The number only continues to grow the longer he looks at her. It's something that happens with every person he takes note of, but normally it's more of a subconscious thing than anything else.

Not so with Meiri. With her, he's always excruciatingly aware of just how vulnerable she is. It isn't a big deal when they're at home, but right now it makes his discomfort over this whole thing even worse.

She puts a hand beneath her chin as she look at him like a besotted teenager experiencing their first crush. Subtle Meiri is not. Which is part of why he was so reluctant to show himself to her in public. People can figure out a lot about his private life just from observing the way Meiri acts in general, and they can figure out a lot more by observing how she acts with him in particular.

Then again, her lack of subtlety does offer some interesting opportunities as well.

"Well look what the cat dragged in," Meiri drawls like her every wish just came true. And like it's the height of wittiness. Kakashi contains a smile as – love – helpless affection rises. She might not be subtle, but Meiri's ability to roll with unexpected happenings is nothing short of impressive.

"You really need to find some new material," he mocks without halting his reading of Yami's and Aiko's antics or his observation of everyone present. Hilariously, him talking to Meiri is somehow even more shocking than him showing up in the first place.

He realizes he's miscalculated when Meiri's smile turns into a gleeful grin. He intended to barter like usual, and he's succeeded in that. Too well, because he just gave her an opportunity to bring up Gai too great to resist. He doesn't mind being teased about Gai at home, for the most part at least, but given his mood, he'd rather avoid it right now.

Seems he's more rattled by showing up here than he realized.

To his relief, Meiri bites back the jab she wants to make. Sure, everyone present knows who she was about to refer to, but by keeping it unspoken, he doesn't have to reply to it.

"Why mess with what works?" she counters instead.

"Here I thought you were creative," he says, offering her a blatant opening. Showing his appreciation for her kind consideration.

As expected, Meiri pounces on his offer.

"And you say I'm unoriginal. The jabs at my creativity are getting old."

They really aren't. She isn't annoyed by it for once, but under normal circumstances, implying that she isn't creative is one of the easiest ways to rile her up. Not that riling her up is hard to do. She's such an easy target.

However, this time he has a different target in mind.

"Then prove me wrong," he challenges, still casual and vaguely amused, and definitely not grinning with anticipation.

"Oh, I will."

The words dripping with innuendo cause Yuugao's eyes to go even wider, while Mio's jaw actually drops. The others are just as affected. It's one thing to know he and Meiri are sleeping together. It's something else to have him confirm it like this.

Meiri drags her eyes away from him so she can look at the others. Her smile turns into a grin, as entertained by the reaction of their audience as he is.

Alas, her grin is enough to snap people out of their shock. Aside from Mio, everyone starts up some light hearted chatting, though they don't make any effort to hide that all their attention remains on him and Meiri.

Mio, of course, keeps staring at them without even pretending to be polite about it.

Meiri returns her gaze to him and her grin turns into another besotted smile. The hand laying on the counter twitches in a telling way, letting everyone know that she's used to pulling down his mask. It's enough to make Yuugao fall silent and Kakashi can practically hear her brain crash. Mio and the others aren't faring much better.

Meiri leans forward and kisses him over his mask, breaking their audience's brains a little further. Part of him actually wants to pull down his mask so he can kiss her properly.

Most of him is ridiculously touched by her consideration. Kakashi is well aware that he is, as Meiri puts it, completely insane. All ninja are crazy from Meiri's perspective of course, but that doesn't change the fact that she's right. From a medical view, he can't be considered sane in any way. He's a walking bundle of coping mechanisms who manages to hang on to functionality by the skin of his teeth. Some of those coping mechanisms take on very extreme forms.

Despite that, Meiri almost never urges him to leave his comfort zone. Not even unconsciously. And the times she does push, Kakashi can admit that she's usually right to do so. He isn't great boyfriend material by any definition of the word. Sometimes he needs a metaphorical smack to the head to ensure he doesn't make this whole thing crash and burn.

He does his best to ignore the part of him insisting that Meiri won't die if only he leaves her. Listening to it won't accomplish anything. Even if he were to cut all contact with her, he'd never be able to bring himself to leave her unprotected. A fact Meiri is well aware of, which means she'd never stop trying to make him break his silence. And the longer he keeps quiet, the more vicious she's going to become.

He really can't take another incident like that of their story.

"I'm making miso," she says. Normally he'd allow himself to smile, but the mere idea of being so open with his – love – affection where others can see sends cold chills down his spine.

"I'm touched," he says in a voice that means he's anything but. Meiri, perfectly aware of why he's acting different than usual, reveals just how unusual his behavior is by letting her smile grow, but he's fine with that. Or rather, he resigned himself to the fact that meeting her in public would reveal far more things about himself than he's comfortable with. It's only going to get worse when he shows himself to Naruto and Sasuke. In private, because the idea of being with those two in public is almost as bad as meeting Meiri in public.

Unfortunately, keeping their meetings private won't prevent those two, Naruto in particular, from sharing every single thing they see him do with the world at large.

On the bright side, the revelations of how he acts at home are going to weird out a lot of people. Kakashi is looking forward to reinforcing the dichotomy between his reputation and what he's actually like.

Lifting his gaze from his novel, he subtly shifts his balance to emphasize that his position is one in which he can take out anyone in the room before they can even react, and casually meets the eyes of everyone present. The sudden fear and wariness his blatant threat inspires is more than a little amusing. It's even obvious enough for Meiri to pick up on it. Seems like he hasn't quite lost his touch yet after all.

The Chunin from the Genin Corps and the two Genin from Maintenance decide that discretion is the better part of valor. They put their payment down the table and make themselves scarce, aiming a friendly and definitely not rushed farewell Meiri's way. Meiri bids them a cheerful goodbye in return, her tone belied by the grin she wears. She might be far too revealing in some ways, but in others, she's a perfect partner in crime.

It's like she said. Neither of them are going to change their behavior. He's going to ensure as little information as is possible about his private life gets out, and he's going to keep messing with whoever he feels like. Meiri is going to keep living her life without any regard as to what people think of it, and she's going to revel in the reactions his own behavior inspire. Teamwork at its finest.

Meiri looks back at him and gain another besotted smile. Her hand twitches in a telling way once more, informing everyone she's about to kiss him again. Kakashi revels in the sensation and resists the urge to kiss her properly.

Despite the fact that he doesn't kiss her back, her smile becomes even more infatuated.

It actually takes genuine effort not to give her an equally sappy smile in return. Kakashi isn't used to hiding his expressions from her. He's always been able to smile, grin, scowl, or let whatever else he's feeling shine through. The only thing he had to modulate was his voice. Even his body language was free for the most part.

It doesn't feel right to hide from her like this. Doesn't matter that she's perfectly capable of seeing through his act, it still doesn't feel right. He doesn't want to hide from her.

Not anymore.

It's funny. In many ways their relationship is the same as before. They banter and tease each other. They leave each other notes and he stays out of sight much of the time.

In other ways, their relationship is completely different. He might remain camouflaged much of the time, but he's also appearing whenever he feels like it. He's touching her whenever he feels like it. He plays games with her, making her look away from whatever chore she's doing and completing it before she looks back. He's letting himself be part of her life in a way he didn't before.

He falls asleep with her in his arms and wakes up to her steady breathing and strong heartbeat.

Many things are different.

The way she smiles at him is exactly the same.

Really, even with his talent at self-deception, he should have noticed her feelings for him a lot sooner.

Or rather, he should have admitted to himself that she was in love with him. He didn't because it would have meant leaving her, and even back then he was already in too deep. But he was still capable of leaving her.

He no longer is.

Strange how part of him doesn't mind that.

Throwing caution in the wind, Kakashi turns his head so their audience can't see his face and allows himself to look at Meiri like the love struck fool he is. Meiri's smile becomes even warmer, revealing to their audience just what sentiment his own expression is conveying. He can literally smell their struggle as they try and fail to imagine what he looks like.

Most of his attention remains on Meiri, though. On the joy and love she's revealing for all the world to see.

Talent for self-deception or not, he should have noticed that Meiri is head over heels for him a lot sooner. It's not like she was being subtle about it.

But then, looking back, neither was he. Both of them were oblivious for a ridiculous amount of time.

Part of him is glad for that. If he'd realized what was happening sooner, he never would have ended up in this situation. Yes, this whole thing is terrifying, but he's also happy in a way he hasn't been in a very long time. In a way he didn't think he still could be.

But really, he should have noticed a lot sooner.

Looking back, both of them were ridiculously obvious.

---

"I want you to meet someone very special."

"Who, nee-chan?"

"Brats. Meet the cat."

A loud gasp.

"We get to meet the cat that's so cool where– whoa!"

"That's not a cat."

"Where did you come from, one moment nothing then bamf you're there!"

Another gasp.

"Can you teleport?"

"Mary, that's not a cat."

"He is the catiest cat you will ever meet."

A snort, a grin.

"Well, maybe not the. Maybe."

An unimpressed look.

An excited yell.

"He's a ninja cat! Who can turn human and teleport! That's. So. Awesome, dattebayo! Hey, hey, can you–"

Movement.

"Whoa! Bastard, did you see? He teleported!"

"He stepped to the side to dodge you. Idiot. And he's not a cat."

"No way, he teleported!"

"He really is."

"...He stepped to the side really fast. And he's not a cat."

"Sasuke, believe me when I say he really, really is."

Another unimpressed look. Movement.

"How did know? You have one eye!"

"...He's really a cat?"

"Can you teach me? Please, please, pretty please?"

Complete exasperation and resignation.

A soft smile.

"He really is."

---

And One Who Did

"You're actually enjoying that piece of crap."

"..."

"Yeah right. You haven't stopped reading since you woke up, you're enjoying it."

"..."

"Never figured you for a romantic."

"..."

"Are you... shit, you're smiling."

"..."

"No, you are. Your lips twitched, I saw."

"..."

"Oh for fuck's sake, stop reading the damn thing."

"..."

"Don't give a shit you're near the end, it's a piece of crap."

"..."

"In the end, they–"

"..."

"Fine, I'll shut up. Put those damn eyes away."

Itachi ignores Kisame's continued grumbling and returns his now basic Sharingan to Mari's novel. Using the higher form of his Sharingan might have revealed to Kisame just how important this story is to him, but Itachi – needs to stop seeing – cannot find it within himself to regret it.

He has already read the novel several times, could recite it word for word if he so wished, but right now he has a need to – block out the sight of – read it from start to finish once more. That need – to forget – is so strong he could not wait until Kisame was out of sight. Though he unsealed a spare copy of Mari's novel instead of taking out the one he has read fifty-seven times. Even in his current state, the well worn copy would reveal more to Kisame than he is comfortable with.

A Hidden Kiss is a good story. Her best yet, in his opinion. The romance between the main characters is humerous and touching, and the resolution of the main conflict is emotionally satisfying. Even without the – anger, hatred, grief, pain – personal significance this story holds to him, he would have loved it – he no longer loves anything – As it is, he finds it comforting to – try to erase the sight of – read the evidence that his little brother is well cared for – as he must want – Ignoring the care Mari offers, Kakashi will protect Sasuke.

Kakashi would burn down the world to keep Mari safe. Given that by now Mari would willingly give her life to protect Sasuke, Kakashi's full protection extends to him as well.

Mari will take care of Sasuke's emotional wellbeing, and Kakashi will ensure his physical safety. Itachi – cannot afford to resent – is grateful for that. It – must be – is a boon he had not expected, given how deep Kakashi's commitment issues run. Yet somehow Mari has managed to convince him to resume their relationship.

He is proud of her – Shisui would have been – This is an extraordinary accomplishment on her part. One that ensures Sasuke will be safe – as he must want because his little brother must be worth all the blood Itachi spilled – It will allow Sasuke to grow as strong as Itachi needs him to be.

One day he will meet his little brother again. One day he will be able to stop seeing the – blood, confusion, betrayal – death of – Kaoru, Nozomi, Saburo, Isamu, Tetsuro, Chiharu, Mother, Father, Shisui – his entire family.

Until then, Sasuke will be safe. Protected. Loved. Sasuke will be happy – as Itachi never again will be and cannot afford to resent –

His little brother is going to be all right.

---

AN: And so the story officially comes to an end. Hope you enjoyed! Also, a question. What do you think Mary looks like? I deliberately didn't describe her appearance, and I'm very curious as to what you imagine she looks like.