Chapter Ten.
Fallen Tributes of District 7; Alden and Jacquline Calevi.
Thick green forests of tall strong trees surrounded this district giving me more than a few brilliant place I could sprint off too and hide away from this public appearance and believe you me, if running was physically possible right now I would be considering it a lot more than I already am. Just knowing that outside the front doors of the Justice Building in which I stand shaking like a leaf in a icy breeze, is not two platforms for the fallen tributes, but one. A single platform for two fallen tributes because this year, the reaped tributes from District 7, where twins and the only children of the Calevi household. Beyond those large, polished wooden doors with large brass handles and knockers, is one mother and one father who are now completely childless and no doubt pass their peek to have anymore. However would they really want to bring more children into this life knowing that as soon as they turn twelve they could be sent to the same place their already dead siblings went to die. And if that isn't bad enough, I knew both tributes but for different reasons: Alden, I was allies with. He taught me how to wield an axe and capture a deer using pieces of string but Jacqueline, I wasn't allies with, instead, I witnessed her split the stomach of her brother open as he hung upside-down from a tree after being caught in a trap. Jacqueline killed her own brother, granted, that isn't the real reason this makes this public appearance additionally scarring, it's worse than the others because I allowed Alden's love interest, Cassandra from District 10, to both physically and mentally torture/tease her before Cassandra eventually drowned her, but even worse than that?
I joined in – yes, you read that correctly, I evilly joined in to make Jacqueline beg for death and can I tell you something even more revolting, I actually enjoyed it. Inside my mind, she killed her own brother because a Career Tribute told her too, she's lucky we didn't do worse things to her before Cassandra drowned her in a pond which we had stumbled into after being attacked by Capitol bird mutations.
"I cannot do this." I say to Michael as we stand in a study to the right of the front doors, waiting for a Peacekeeper to collect us. My brothers eyes became blunt and annoyed, we had been over this before and he had managed to coax me into thinking it was going to be okay, but now I know they are so close. My stomach as twisted into a knot and my rib-cage condensed to the size of a can. "How could you ever think this was going to be okay? I verbally fucked with her mind until she was begging for death! You and the entire nation where watching me do this! Not to mention, you fucking mother and father whom I am going to be facing in... three minutes!" I almost scream.
"Will you calm down?" he snaps.
My neck extends outwards in complete shock to his words, "Calm down? That is your brilliant piece of advice to me? CALM THE FUCK DOWN?" I bellow. Michael steps forwards me and I jerk away. I move in the same fashion someone would before receiving a punch. I actually flinched away from my elder brother.
"Listen to me." Michael growls. "I know this is difficult for you and no-one is themselves in the Games, you must understand that despite the fact that we may advice you don't add personal notes to avoid an argument from the entire district. You will anyway. I know you. Do you really think that it's just you dreading this? You don't think that family out there who lost not one, but two of their children. Their only children, they are now childless, do you think they want to see you?" he asks.
Shaking my head, I sigh heavily, "Of course not. We're all the same –" I trail off because suddenly the realisation has hit me of what Michael was saying. Alden's parent's don't want to see me almost as much as I them. Both of us are being forced here but President Snow, the actions and sudden responsibilities being forced upon us are all brought on by the same person. The only person truly responsibility for all this killing, suffering and awkwardness. "– Boat." I finish. "They don't want to see me and I don't want to see them. They don't want lies told and I don't want to tell lies. They want to hear the truth as much as I want to tell it."
"So what are you going to do?" Michael asked almost as if it wasn't a real question, because granted it wasn't because I already knew the answer. I look up at my elder sibling just as the study door opened to reveal a man dressed in a smart white uniform that was only ever given to Peacekeeper's over the nation. He wore a helmet to completely the outfit despite not actually needing it.
He gestured for us to come forward towards the door and as I do, before leaving my brother in the room. I turn to him with a smile and simply say, "I'm going to tell them the truth."
xxx
The mayor introduced me. As confidently as my shaking body would allow me to be, I walked out into the cool sunlight. In my hand I clench the cards that Dieter had handed to me in the corridor seconds before I was called out for my public appearance. The crowd clapped but their was a mixture of enthusiastic claps and sour claps that I knew where from the friends of Jacqueline. Before I had even started, a boo erupted from the base of the platform which was now placed meters back but directly in front of me. Give me a chance, I think before inspecting the structure. The platform was larger due to the screen balancing on metal beams, the screen was now brightened with the faces of the Calevi twins and it is only now I see them together, I realise how similar they really are and how different since the last time I laid eyes on them. Alden fish-flesh white from blood loss and Jacqueline blue from deoxygenation. Below their now fake bright and living faces where the real, puffy red from crying and burning with hatred faces of their parents. Their children-less parents.
When the crowd has silenced, I thanked them and began to read the induction from my cards, "I am honoured to be here with all today, and to be the families –" Pause, the crowd as caught on yet, "family." I correct myself, "Of your fallen tributes. I wanted to share with you the sorrow of your losses. The tributes of this –"
"– Tell us what you really think!" a bellow came from the crowd and I felt revealed because I was beginning to fall asleep myself listening to me read the stupid words Dieter manages to work into a sentence. And when I look up to see the voice of my abrupt stop was from the Mrs Calevi, I feel myself momentarily choke. "Don't read what's on the cards in front of you. They aren't from you. I want to hear from you about my children." she demands.
Licking the inner-rims of my bottom lip which I have chewed to shreds. I can't, speaking this will get you killed, get us all killed. I won't risk this because Alden and Jacqueline knew how I felt about them. They knew the gravity of my feels through the actions I expressed, Alden by trusting him and Jacqueline through, well killing her. "I can't." I mouth before looking down at my cards, "The tributes from this district will reign as noble warriors through my honour to their families and prayer to their people..."
As tears form in my eyes at the horrid wails of Mrs Calevi crying, a hand shoots up with the middle three-fingers raised high to me. I momentarily watch a Peacekeeper quickly grab the man by the arm and hauling him out of the crowd, my head flickers to the side to see Finnick, he just nods towards the card urging me to finish because only he knows the true impact this tour will have on our lives. Our own happiness hangs in the balance, Michael doesn't know that.
"We are all of us united, both victors and vanquished, and serving a common purpose." I say before looking down at the card to see the most insulting six words possible to say to a grieving district, I haven't had to say them until now, but to make this believable, I knew I would have too. "Panem today. Panem tomorrow." breath deep. "Panem forever."
However as I stare into the eyes of Alden's mother, the same green eyes as I remember in the arena. I am shocked with how I caved, telling my brother I was going to tell the truth when really I just dished out the shit Dieter wrote down for me to say. I am cowardly and gutless. I am a let down and so before I am to leave, I turn back to look at the family who has lost everything and we a slight grin, I kiss the middle fingers on my left hand and raise them to the crowd. They cheer and the parents grin almost in satisfaction. A harmless symbol cannot get me in trouble, surely. And then I am engulfed and whisked away by my prep-team before I get a chance to experience the rather of Michael Hollern.
xxx
"You are a ballsy kid." This was the first thing said to me when I was introduced to Johanna Mason inside the Justice Building dinning hall. He wore a fashionable pair of black leather trousers and a deep green blouse with high heels that elongated her extremely slender body. Her black hair with purple strips has been cropped short with a zigzag fringe. Dark make-up concealed her naturally brown eyes from looking innocent. In one of her freshly scarred hand she holds a pretty glass filled with an alcoholic smelling liquid which made me feel sick but Johanna had something about her I found almost enduring, she was innocent looking but with the ability to easily kill. Her lack of manors made me feel like I didn't have to tip-toe to sound polite and she honestly acted as if she didn't give a crap about me being friends and/or enemies with her tributes this year. Johanna Mason almost made me feel, well, normal. She reaches forwards to place a hand unexpectedly on my stomach making me jump, which in return she smiles devilishly at me, inside my stomach my baby kicks hitting the spot where Johanna's palm is rested, "Dude, that's fucking freaking!" she exclaims shaking her hand and laughing which only brought me to laugh as well. Once we had calmed down, she move a lock of fabric which has fallen in front of my mockingjay pin. "You're really getting into the role of this bird huh? The whistle, the salute and now the pin –"
"It was a gift." I interrupted.
Johanna raised an eyebrow at me, "From Peeta Mellark?" she asks.
I nod. "It was Katniss'."
"He has been holding onto that thing for all these years?" she asks in bewilderment, "Wow, he needs to find himself a girlfriend that actually loves him." she chuckled.
"I thought I was the only one who didn't believe the act," I chuckled as the mayor announced that dinner was about to be served. Johanna asked if she could be seated next to me, I wasn't sure why and I didn't feel like objecting because she actually made me feel at home, happy and normal. It was new and exciting but strange because I had only met Johanna Mason and already I could feel something brewing in the pit of my stomach. A friendship, maybe? But that would be impossible to keep going because the only time we would ever be able to talk would be whilst we are being mentors but there is nothing to suggest we would be mentoring on the same year. A telephone friendship could work but I am not even sure if Miss Mason is up too her old tricks or if she was being friendly because she wanted too. Johanna Mason was somewhat of a rare creature, an unpredictable animal that could be quick to turn and shoot first but considering I will never find that out, not in my lifetime at least. I shall not worry about my life around her.
And after dinner, we all leave but not without saying goodbye. It turns out that Finnick and Johanna are friends. Rather close by the way they hug tenderly at the end of the night with how desperate their hug was at the beginning. She gently plants a kiss on my brother's lips before doing the same to me which I don't mind because Caesar Flickerman does the same in every interview we do. I've become rather used to strangers kissing me. And then we disappear onto the train and into the night, knowing that I will never have to face the Calevi parents again makes me feel rather relieved however knowing that I might not see Johanna Mason again makes my chest cramp. She was someone I could have a real friendship with but hey, I'm sure I will find someone stranger than her but for now, Finnick Odair and Michael will have to fill the best friend spot in my heart and I'm more than happy with that arrangement.
A/N: All right, don't be mad but yes, Anastasia did freeze on stage. Do you think she was cowardly for not speaking about Alden or was it the right thing to do, speaking to the families of the fallen won't bring them back. Also, how do you guys feel about the relationship between Johanna and Anastasia? Do you think they could be friends or do you guys remember how Cato and Anastasia's relationship first started?;) anyway, review and make sure you favourite and follow if your enjoying, I promise more exciting chapters are coming, it's almost time for District 2.
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