46. Prologue.
Sakura,
Have I ever told you how often I think about you?
Well, it's pretty often, almost like an after thought. At first I used to do it when I was bored but now,
your crimson red face, feathery pink hair and your tiny fingers twisting beneath mine against those silky ivy green sheets have become a great significance to my mission.
That mission being, get hard and go home. :p get it...probably not. I'm just kidding, it was the best night of my life. I'm sorry I didn't get to tell you that.
I'm sorry I just did a hit and run like that, those have never been easy to do for me.
Anyway being with you has been the best memory I've ever had of us together, soul and body, like those stupid cliche stanzas in a poets love book,right, or a certain riff to a song that makes you feel like it was made for you.
You, were made for me.
Your that riff for me and I'm coming back home to feel the pulse of my riff. I've got my mom, I've cleared my name, I've met the kaze...I even have a little surprise for you.
...and I know, you have one for me.
Speaking of your surprise, we need to talk...when were you going to tell me we have a child?...or were you going to simply pass her off as my brothers?
So, my flight is tomorrow. I'll be seeing you really soon. :)
Let's be adults about this...I've been talking to Izami for a long time, she's heard my voice, seen my face and I've already told her that I'd be in the area tomorrow so...
it's all in your grass.
No pressure babe.
P.s- This letter will probably be late, so, chances are I'm probably already there. (sunglasses guy emote)
-Itachi
"Izami...Kisa...pipe down you little rascals I'm trying to watch E news!"
"...MOMMY Iza's stealing my barbie."
"Nohhh I'm nawt, she's under arressssh, f-for being ugly."
The two girls were standing at the front door, centerpieces of a catastrophic toy collision. Ino snapped her neck, leering at the two very loud mouth seven year old girls.
They had been at it since she picked them up for school.
Yes, Kisa is a drama queen just like her mommy but Izami was way too smart for her own good, What could you really expect from an Uchiha, they were smart and possessive.
Just like your daddy Iza...and no part of Sakura, except that ginormica forehead...I mean look at it...it's so pr-
"DINGGGGGGY-DOOOOONGGGGY!"
Both girls screamed in union.
Ino sighed.
What now, does someone else want me to babysit their kid. Come one come all!
She rolled her eyes and began to stand but she could hear the locks on the door being disarmed. She looked up sharply and spotted Izami on her toes, undoing every single chink in the doors armor.
"Whoooo waz it!"
She asked.
Ino laughed beside herself.
"Who is it?" She asked, placing a hand over Izami's and trying to help her with the last lock on the door.
"Who izit!" Kisa repeated competitively. Leering at Izami with the slightest bit of contempt.
Ino twisted the knob and then without much explanation she squealed and then attacked the man in the doorway with a suicidal hug.
"Itaaaa!"
A man grunted and winced.
"Fuck...hey...I'm really worn out!...Ino, get your piggish ass off me.."
"I'm giving you the love."
"Take it back, it's too much."
"Deal with it, I haven't seen you since I invited you over to see Izzy and do you know how long it's been since than?"
Itachi wrapped a hand around her waist and stared behind her at a small little girl who began to earnestly back away.
Eyes touching his in earnest.
A crooked grin touched his lips and slowly but surely the little child smiled.
"Poppop...?"
"You bet...come here, so I can bite ya."
She shook her head wildly, pink head of hair flying across her face and fanning out over her head.
"Nohhhh, I don't wanta bite"
"You don't?"
He asked stepping past Ino and kneeling a distance away before lowering himself to his knees.
She shook her head again.
"What do you want?" Ino asked her.
Itachi raised a brow just as curious to know as the women behind him. Izami looked up at Ino and then at her father.
Itachi knew he couldn't ask for any type of affection from her but it churned his heart that she hadn't come running to him.
He never expected it but at the same time he never ruled it out, he wanted her to recognize that he was her father, the one and only and not his brother, whom she had probably already accepted as the role.
He didn't want to make any type of drama or step in on some uncharted territory that he wasn't familiar with but at the same time he wanted his daughter, he wanted a relationship and he wanted to be in her life.
He was a free man now, he had bought his mother back, been congratulated by both the Kaze and Hokage. There was only one day for him to do, get his life on track and find out where his uncle disappeared to.
...and so,history repeats itself...my uncle killed his brother for my mother and now the only question I have, the only question that I've been asking since I've been on the plane to Konoha is...
Izami was just as good a runner as she had been proclaiming. She ran, barefoot, into his arms, nearly stumbling over her feet and her little arms tried to successfully wrap around his neck.
Distracted in his own thoughts, he gradually realized what had happened and slowly his arms snaked around her small frame and then he lifted her against his chest and hugged her tightly, almost to the point where it looked like he was hugging himself.
Izami giggled and Itachi grinned.
"...we look the same..."
"Hmm?" he asked distractedly.
"...are you starting to grow a shadow of beard too?"
She giggled again.
"Noooh Tou-san, eyyyyyyz, same colouuuuurs"
Itachi nodded and felt her little heart beat jumping quickly against his chest. He kissed the top of her head and let out a deep breath.
"We are the last of our kind."
"Whutsss our kind?"
"Sexy beasts."
Izami laughed louder tossing her head back, the hand that lingered at the collar of her fathers jacket began to twist around his long black hair, hanging down his back in a conservative ponytail.
"Awww isn't that cute, they're both conceited...poor Sakura." Ino joked, rolling her eyes at Itachi and then grinning at Izami.
"Who iz that guy?" asked Kisa pointing at Itachi's nose.
Izami tilted her head so that it was resting on the side of her fathers. Their hair creating a tingle of black and pink.
"My poppop...he's a big soldier."
Itachi only stared at Kisa.
"She has your everything Ino...spot on rudeness."
"Thank you, I've done my job!" Ino shouted from the kitchen.
Itachi only held out his hand to the small blond child, with the corkscrew curls.
"I'm her poppop..."
"Doesn't sound as cute when a grown ass man says it...that actually sounds like something a pedophile would say...Kisa, what do we do when you see a strange man?"
"We kick him in da-da-um-da NUTS!"
Itachi raised a brow and then stared at Ino.
"You've obviously lost your mind."
"Nope it's self defense."
"...or amber alert approved."
Isami continued to twist his ponytail and tilt her small head against his until he stood up, still holding her.
"So-so, do you gots a sky bird?" She asked with excitement tossing her hands into the sky and mimicking the sound of a falling plane.
Itachi nodded.
"As a matter of fact I do...would you like to fly it with me some of these day's."
"yayayaya!" She shouted, tossing her arms around his neck again and squeezing her small face against his.
Itachi couldn't contain his laughter, she was like a ball of fire and he never wanted the excitement to turn to ash.
He walked into the kitchen with Ino and witnessed her texting.
"When can we go poppop?"
"Anytime you want..."
"Now!...I wanna get swallowed in a sky bird!"
"Me too!...Mommy can I go too!" Kisa screamed jerking at Ino's skirt, hopping and nearly loosing her baggy uniform socks.
Ino sighed and looked up at Itachi.
"You wanna babysit?"
"Not really...I have some things to sort out."
Ino rolled her eyes.
"No you don't, Sakura's not even in town."
Itachi looked at Izami, who had been laying against the right side of his face, nose twitching.
"Where is she?"
"She's out of town..."
Itachi shook his head and then placed Izami down.
"Go put on your jackets."
He said pointing to both of them.
Both the girls released a blood curdling scream and began to race towards the hall leading to the rooms.
"Clean your room Kisa before you go anywhere!" Ino called out and then slapped back a strand of hair.
"What for?" Itachi asked.
"I don't know, ask her.."
"Ya, about that, she hates me."
"She loves you, she's just...very angry with you."
"Whatever she is, she doesn't want to talk to me...so just give me the news straight, I don't have enough time in the day to play guessing games."
"She's on her honeymoon."
In the back of my mind, the question had always been, out of my brother and I...which one of us would kill the other for a women we both love?
...but in that moment, I knew the answer...
me.
47. You And Only You.
Two day's after new years...
"Can you all please stop it, I'm not even showing that much...stop giving me all of this attention, it sickens me."
Sakura growled as her friends assaulted her pot belly in broad day light while they were walking in the mall. Tenten, stared at her through the abyssal lens of her shades and shook her head.
"Your such a baby kill, seriously, you should be more excited...there's a cute lil sucker in there that's going to adore you and do the things that you've never done."
Ino laughed and tapped her small fingers at Sakura's belly button.
"Let's not get carried away, I've known Sakura all my life, there has rarely been a time when this chick flinches with excitement. I bet she'll be the first women to ever go through birth with a straight face."
The three girls began to holler and laugh at Ino and Sakura rolled her eyes.
"Shut up before I get a restraining order on all three of you...so, where is this place anyway, the Maternal store?"
The girls straightened up and began to twist their heads around in search for the store.
The Konoha mall had been the biggest stretch of a walk since the Sahara desert. They seemed to never run out of stores and booth attractions or people who shoved and bumped into with no regards of their manners. Children ran past them screaming and being chased by their parents. A baby screamed in it's walker and tossed it's bottle over the upstairs railing.
Sakura frowned at the behavior and sighed impatiently.
"I'm doomed..." she whispered, then, she folded her arms over her chest.
"Why are you doomed, we haven't even seen the clothes yet?" Karin asked cocking her head to the side and staring at Sakura in this vapid way that seemed to fit her quite well.
Sakura rolled her eyes and began to strut quickly down the aisle until Ino caught her coat tail.
"Calm your horses, just because your pregnant doesn't mean you can't afford to look good...and when I say good...I mean, sexified-good...like, shiver me ballsack good...let's take a trip into this place."
She grabbed Sakura by the back of her head and turned her towards a store called V.I.P(very intimate pleasures), there was a parent advisory poster on the window and there was a shirtless man wearing tassels standing in the door way winking at all four of them.
Sakura's eyes widened and then she crossed her eyes.
"This isn't for me is it, it's for you two sluts.." she said looking at both she and Tenten as they winked back at the man.
"Have fun!" Sakura called to them both and moved a foot to take a step. Both Tenten and Ino lashed out and grabbed both her shoulders.
"Sakura! c'mon, don't be rude...look, we'll get to all of the pregnant stuff later but for right now be a girl, girls just wanna have fun the song was right!"
Tenten yelled.
"At least check out the joint, just because you don't wanna have entertaining sex doesn't mean the rest of us just walk around here with a cork in our vagina's...don't be rude!"
"Rude? I said have fun!" Sakura shouted.
"Guys...everyone's looking at you...I feel like I'm in sex-ed."
"SHUT UP KARIN!" they both yelled scathingly.
Sakura sighed.
"Fine I'll go in for like a minute...but then I'm going to look for the store by myself."
Both girls embraced her into a group hug and then began to yank her into the store. The man with the tassels stepped aside, his oily chest rubbed up against Sakura's face and she nearly spat.
He looks like an oiled up pig...or worse..
She nearly vomit at the comparison in her head.
The store had this atmosphere of sexual intensity, as soon as you walked in there were statues of dicks and naked men with their wangs pointing right at you.
Sakura shook her head.
Ino and Ten...
The two girls gasped and then their heads looked from one direction to the other and then the both of them went running down two separate aisles.
Karin stood beside Sakura.
"Those two are wild."
"Pretty much the gist of it." Sakura sighed.
"Should we even look around?" Karin asked, staring with interest at something over Sakura's head.
I don't even wanna know.
"Uh...you should but I think I'm going to walk around out there a little."
"You sure?" Karin asked without much interest her eyes still looking adoringly over Sakura's head.
"Ya...have fun."
"I'll try." She says and Sakura backed out of the store and dove back into the loitering conventional walk of the mall.
She dodged an entire family and then began to look around for the Maternal Chic store, she had seen it once before when she and Ino had gone shopping but she had no intentions to ever walk into it ever.
The wind kept making strands of her hair dance over her forehead so she pulled out a band and tied it up quickly into a ponytail.
Thirty stores later she wound up finding it stashed away into a pocket where another corridor loomed.
It had been the brightest store on the block, posters of big bellied women with baggy seductive clothing displayed themselves to the general public.
Sakura hesitated, staring at the pictures and the smiley women who graced them.
She knew it had been a photo shoot to promote their clothes but those women were glowing naturally, proud and excited for the bundle in their stomachs.
They had all probably had their babies fathers with them too.
...but not me, that was never even a possibly and now...there's really no possibility...but it must be nice to have, a baby with the love of your life and...a life with the both of them.
She pulled back the door and walked into the store.
There were a few women in there browsing the racks and shelves. A few of their eyes looked at her when the bell annouced her intrusion but just as quickly they roamed back to the shelves. Sakura ignored the stares and spotted a few articles of clothing that interested her and proved to be her style of relax.
She wasn't aiming to be some eye-candy with a belly. She just wanted to make this experience as relaxing as she could and she couldn't do that if she was going around in belly shirts and yeast inducing jeans.
I don't even do that now...
She wandered towards a rack, the same rack a women around her age had been roaming to, they both reached for the same hanger and then they both yanked away as if it were an open flame and they had both realized it too late.
"I'm so sorry.." the dark violet haired women called out. Sakura looked up at her, into her bright grey eyes and smiled, waving off her apology with a single hand.
"It's no biggie, it's all yours."
"No, no...your hands were there first."
"...I don't even want it I was just getting a closer look."
The women laughed.
"I don't want it either."
Sakura couldn't help but to look down at her belly, she was expecting to see something round protruding but there was about as much of that, as there was with herself.
The women rubbed at her small belly.
"Two months." She said holding up two fingers with her other hand, there were clothes draped over her wrist.
"You can hardly tell." Sakura replied, watching how fondly this women gave her belly the attention. She seemed like she'd be a great mother, smiling and sweet. That's the kind of face that eagerly awaited something like this.
Not mine...I'm going to be a horrible mother...
She was scared because she didn't look like this women, she wasn't smiling or rubbing her nearly non-existent baby bump.
She looked depressed and down right scared out of her mind.
It happened too fast...so fast that I can barely breath..
"I've read that depending on your body type the baby can either make or break you..some women barely notice they're pregnant until they're in the delivery room."
Sakura's brows raised.
"Really, that's...disturbing."
The women laughed and shook her head shyly.
"The human body I suppose, so, how many months are you or are you just shopping for someone."
Sakura shook her head.
Unfortunately.
"I'm one in a half..."
The women smiled.
"awwwe, your lookin good."
Sakura grinned, for some reason that seemed to make her feel a little warm inside and when the strange women reached for her belly but then hesitated.
"May I grope him or her?"
Sakura smiled, just a moment ago she didn't want anyone giving her attention but now she felt like she was in an atmosphere where it was ok.
"Sure.."
The women had very careful eyes were so exciting it was contagious. Sakura felt herself ginning and closing one eye.
"I bet it's a girl..."
She predicted patting Sakuras lower stomach.
"What makes you so sure?"
"I just have a hunch, I've got a little fox boy in here...he's going to do great things and I'm going to smother him with the good-will of his father."
She kissed the tip of her index finger and then pressed it to her belly button.
Sakura felt uncomfortable staring but then she smiled.
"Well I wish you the best of luck."
The women tilted her head.
"Likewise but...do me a favor." She answered and then she pulled a phone out of her enormous Prada bag. She began to tap her thumb on the screen.
"What's your number, we should hang out...you know all my friends are either single or distant, I barely have friends in Konoha and I could use a shoulder or a hand every now and again."
Sakura was deterred at her request for a moment but she stepped forward and recited her number.
"So what's your name?" the women asked.
"Sakura." She said holding out a hand.
The women took it.
"Hinata, Hinata Uzumaki."
Sakura shook her head, her pony tail on top of her head shook a little and Hinata smiled.
"I adore your hair color it's so vibrant, your kids going to be freakin adorable, do you have a picture of her father."
Yes..
"No...he's not with me."
Hinata frowned and tried to sympathize.
"He'll regret it...so...are you in a hurry to leave, are you hungry I'm hungry?"
The women seemed to talk athousand miles per-hour. Sakura could only laugh.
"I am, your a mind reader."
The women shook her head.
"We're pregnant, it's like having the same symptoms to a sickness..."
Sakura laughed and then Hinata held up her clothes.
"I'm going to pay for these and then we're going to eat at the food court, kay?"
"Kay."
Sakura watched her walk off and she actually liked this women, she was very cool and laid back like herself and she could see that they were really compatible friends.
She reached for her neck absentmindedly and scratched her throat lightly.
With the aching realization that it hadn't been there, it's promise gone to her forever she felt like she'd break down and cry right then and there but instead she only closed her eyes and her fingers fell down to her stomach and she held the only promise that mattered.
I'm going to change for you and only you...
She thought to herself and smiled faintly.
48. Founders Of Evil.
Going to work on Friday was a tense occasion.
Everyone was lined up near an office and Tenten was issuing her a strange wide-eyed look, her brows kept raising along with that strange motion of the head that usually meant, 'scram fast.'
Sakura tried to read it but it was a bit too late.
A women fled the office, looking very pleased and Kakashi followed out behind her. He was dressed down in his uniform, jacket gone, only pants and a shirt on.
He wrestled with his tie a bit before he spotted Sakura on the other side of the hall. Tenten lowered her head with failure and Sakura furrowed a brow.
"Ms. Haruno, just the person I was hoping would run into me..." he said and then turned towards the women in line.
"We'll take a rain check everyone...I believe I've just struck gold."
He waved his hands dismissively and reluctantly the line began to fan out across the hospital, the women flailing to their destination.
Sakura swallowed hard and cautiously walked towards where Kakashi had been, Tenten lingered, leering at Kakashi.
"It's nothing personal...it's my job." he said to her.
Tenten rolled her eyes.
"She doesn't know where he is Kakashi, let her be."
"That may be true but regardless I have to be the bad cop and ask."
Tenten only stared at him.
"Well than, I guess I'll be the bad cop and deny you entree tonight." She shot at him and Kakashi slapped a hand onto his chest.
"Your, so, cruel...it brakes my heart." he feigned hurt feelings.
Tenten gave him the finger, bristling, she walked towards Sakura and grasped her arms.
"Don't you know how to read eyes?"
"No, since it's not a language I didn't think I had to know."
She sucked her teeth.
"He's going to ask you a few questions, THUS WASTING MORE OF YOUR TIME." she called out loud, looking over her shoulder at Kakashi, whom was leaning against the door and waving towards Sakura, brows raised.
"I figured it would be something like this.."
"Don't worry I'm sure it'll all be over soon."
Would it, would it really...he left awhile ago and yet every wound he tore seems fresh and raw, as if he had done it yesterday.
"I hope so."
Tenten hugged her.
"Your strong, just tell him that you don't know anything and then tell him to fuck himself.."
Sakura laughed.
"I am not telling him that."
"Good, then I'll tell him."
She walked over to Kakashi, who continued to lounge in the doorway. She beckoned him with the tug of her index finger and he lowered his face to her ear.
She said something and he began to laugh, watching her walk away from him. Sakura took a deep breath and walked towards the door and then Kakashi ushered her inside to a chair in front of the mall desk he had been taking refuge in for the last two weeks of the investigation.
Sakura lowered herself into the chair and sat back with a gentle sigh.
"How's your morning?" Kakshi asked
"Could be...more boring...so, what did I do copper?"
He chuckled.
"Hopefully...nothing." he mused, placing down a stack of official looking paper work with stamps of approval and dark, dark signature from important people who's words meant law.
He had a mug of coffee on his desk, the smell of the caffeine just seemed to set off something in the pit of her stomach.
She poked at the cup.
"Can I have a sip, I haven't eaten a thing all day...and that coffee is driving me crazy."
Kakashi stared at the cup, distracted for a moment and then pushed it with the back of his fist in her direction.
"Drink it, I'll just send one of the guys out for another one...would you like a Glazed banana nut dounny?"
Sakura raised a quizzical brow.
"Dounny?"
He shook his head of silver hair.
"Ya, I've been calling them that for years, Donuts."
Sakura grinned, watching him wrestling around in the top drawer of the desk in search of donuts.
"So it's true, cops love donuts?"
He smiled.
"It's a mobile treat, shoot at the bad guys while eating a doughnuts, arrest them with one hand, eat a doughnut with the other."
Sakura stared at him with a dubious look.
"Your being sarcastic right."
"It depends, do you believe that whole, cops like doughnuts fiasco?"
"I didn't, until now."
Kakashi only sighed and placed a box on the table, afterwards he fiddled with a small black recorder and then placed it down on the table.
"Haruno, Sakura...I'm going to ask you a few questions and your going to answer them according to your knowledge, understanding and fact...if you lie at any time during this interrogation you are as much a threat to us as the party being assessed. Is this clear?"
"Yes.." Sakura was appalled by how serious he suddenly was, there was no smile lurking on his face and there was even this chilly and callous way to the way he was talking to her.
Its like a completely different person with the same looks and none of the qualities of Kakashi..
He leaned into the desk and stared into her eyes.
"Do you know the terrorist...Uchiha, Itachi of the Akatsuki Clan?"
Sakura hesitated for a moment, feeling like this was some sort of a trick question that would burry her into a hole of significance.
"Um...Ya, yes I do.."
"On what level did you befriend this man?"
She took a sip from the mug, rubbing her hands along it's glossy body and then she sat back in the chair, taking a deep breath and trying to answer it as an impartial party and not like the traitor that she felt like she was being.
"I...I-well..."
She fumbled around with her fingers in her lap trying to answer the question without it being too biased, she didn't want to feel like the accused but at the same time she didn't want to be a traitor towards Itachi either. What he had done, he had done it out of love to get to her...he didn't even know what the Akatsuki were doing, but she couldn't confess all of that to the cops.
They would only think that she was protecting him, that as his babies mother she was just lying.
"Yes..." She said softly.
"Can you say that a little louder?" asked Kakashi, his eyes hadn't strayed her's.
"Yes." She repeated sternly.
Kakashi tilted his head.
"How long have you known, Uchiha Itachi...strictly how many years?"
"I wouldn't say I've known him...I've been writing him since I was seventeen."
"...and how old are you now?"
"I'm twenty-three.."
"Seven years...and have you any idea his where abouts...his occupation, his plans, his involvement with the Akatsuki."
Sakura shook her head dumbfoundedly and then realized the recorder wouldn't pick that up. She licked her lips.
"He was very secretive about where he was and what he was doing but he let me know as much as he was allowed to let me know. I knew that he was a Konoha Shinobi...I knew he was stranded in the woods with his one and only partner..."
Kakashi nodded, eyes very intent on finding out more.
"Had he ever once, written cruel intentions for anyone...this city in particular?"
"No...he only wanted peace, he just wanted to go home.." Sakura said in all honesty.
"Why?"
Because of me...because we wanted to be with one another...
"...he was a man in war most of his life he just wanted to go back to his life again..."
"I see, so, your saying...that this terrorist never wanted any harm to come to either Suna or Konoha, he never harbored any hate towards either of us...he was just an innocent bystander who made the wrong friends."
Well, yes..
"Maybe.."
"Are you in love with the terrorist?"
Sakura frowned.
"Aren't we getting a little off base Kakashi?"
"There's no bases when it comes to a mission, every angle has to be examined, Mr. Haruno, I apologize if this makes you uncomfortable...but it's nothing personal."
"So, are you, in love with Uchiha, Itachi?"
Sakura's palms were clammy, she stared at Kakashi and her eyes burned a bit. She shook her head.
"Say it...so they can hear." he said to her softly.
She closed her eyes and swallowed hard.
"No."
She answered.
"Are you lying?"
Maybe..
"No...do you have some sorta liar radar that tells you if someone is lying?" She asked curtly. He grinned.
"Not at all but love, love makes us lie to the cops...it blinds us, tells us that the ones we love aren't a danger, makes us believe what ever bullshit comes out of their mouths because we are in love, love makes us stupid creatures. Romantic but...there is a bigger picture, a picture that involves you...so...when was the last time you saw Uchiha, Itachi?"
Two months ago..
"I don't know..."
"Nonono...don't start loosing your memory now, I recall him kidnapping you, two months ago...your dear friend, told me the entire ordeal. He took you, didn't he?"
"...yes..."
"Where did he take you?"
Sakura swallowed hard, she wasn't sure where they had been...only where she had woken up, tied up.
"I don't know where it was, I only know that I was tied up when I woke up.."
"Hmph, what did he do?"
"He talked to me..."
"...about what, his plan."
Sakura shook her head.
"He told me he was fixing everything, he told me he wrote a letter of warning and turned it into the police...about the Akatsuki...he turned it into you..."
"Indeed he did, it's right here...warning us about the impending doom of our city, he betrayed his teammates and gave away each of their positions...if that doesn't say ,coward, I don't know what does."
Sakura gasped in the inside but on the outside her fist curled instinctively at the insult of something that couldn't be more ridiculous.
"He was trying to save everyone, he's not a coward!"
"He was playing you for a fool...Sakura...he still is, he's manipulated you into believing that he is the good guy, a changed man because of love but all the while he has proved himself the leader of this entire expedition, he killed those people and he killed the past Kaze..."
Sakura frowned, trying to not let her emotions cloud her judgement and reason. She should have been able to listen to Kakashi's side as well and propose some type of meaning but something in the inside of her wouldn't let him bash a man that wasn't even there to fight for himself.
Her heart was just telling her to lash out without thought and she couldn't disobey it.
"He's not a manipulator, Kakashi. I've known him most of my life...I know that everyone says that but...it's different."
Kakashi shook his head plainly.
"There is no difference Sakura, you only want to believe there is.."
Sakura frowned, leaning forward in her chair.
"You don't even know him..."
"I'm an officer of the law, that entitles me to know every personality out there...yes I've misconstrued a few intentions every now and than but your guy...he seems pretty text book. Did you know that the man who was laying in this hospital was Uchiha, Itachi? You were that close to him and you didn't even know.."
What...you've got it all wrong..
"That wasn't Itachi, that was his uncle...Uchiha Madara..."
Kakashi raised a brow and stared at her as if she were extremely crazy.
"Uchiha, Madara..." he laughed. "...Sakura, Uchiha Madara was a war hero in Konoha, he is long dead, I hardly doubt he'd come back to terrorize the very city he risked his life for...is that what the terrorist told you...that, Uchiha Madara is the ring leader?"
Yes..
"This is crazy...Madara isn't dead...he...he sent someone out to kill Itachi and I, a Danzo..."
"Danzo."
Kakashi's face went from entertained to grave in a minute, he looked like he felt sorry for Sakura. He pressed a button on the tape.
"Sakura. Uchiha, Danzo...has been dead for centuries...before both our times...he was the leader of the police division long before I got the badge or even considered the badge...what makes you think that, even if he were alive, that he'd waste his time trying to kill you..."
Sakura frowned.
Is this...this really all a lie...no, it can't be a life...he wouldn't lie to me...would he really, lie?
She had a thought to reach for the Uchiwa charm around her neck but her fist grew harder when she realized it's cool surface would never meet her fingertips and palms again.
It was like a ghost of her thoughts, almost like the man who had given it to her.
Do I really know him, did I..
"Uchiha, Itachi is one of the founders of Akatsuki along with Pein...they're super terrorist, dangerous with any weapon. They've been in the military, they've climbed rank after rank for sport and they've killed many...there is no exactly number for how many innocent lives they've taken...open your eyes Sakura, don't be blinded by the enemy, he is just using you..."
"...but I heard him, I heard Uchiha Madara talking to him on the phone."
"It had probably been Pein, we've captured all the Akatsuki except Pein, he is still out there...somewhere, they're both out there waiting to attack us again."
Sakura shook her head slowly.
I don't believe you...none of that makes any sense...
"Can I go now?"
"Hm, your free to go but this is not the last time you'll be brought in for questioning and the next time it may not be me so...be prepared for worse questions than those."
Sakura quickly stood to her feet and rushed out of the office.
Heart ticking quickly she ran for the bathroom, feeling the nausea and sickness coursing through her body thoroughly.
She found a stall and collapsed to her knees and began to puke.
It happened time and time again before she was able to just quietly think things through but her mind had been anything but quiet.
There were questions plaguing her mind, scenes playing out in her head, voices telling her what to believe and what not to believe.
She was torn in half by suspicion and betrayal.
All she could think about is what was taken from her.
She felt like she had lost herself when she woke up without the chain around her neck. There was an emptiness in her chest and it continued to bee empty and dark.
Like a scab that no amount of care could sedate.
Her lips trembled and she felt a burning in her chest that couldn't be contained.
Was he, lying...god, If he lied to me...if he lied to me that means, that everything Kakashi said was right...I slept with him, I let him have me...I'm having his kid and he's a killer...he...
She swallowed down a cry and dug out her phone.
I need to talk to someone...I need to talk to Sasuke..
She dialed his number and the first four rings went by and no one answered until the fifth.
"Sasuke's phone!" A women's voice asked all bubbly but exhausted.
Sakura's lips tried to form a tactful word but her lips were frozen with blatant insults. She wasn't sure why she wanted to yell at this women but she realized it was wrong.
She hung up and tossed down her phone.
She sat on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor and pulled her knees up beneath her chin.
She sat on the bathroom floor for at least thirty minutes before her phone began to ring, she reached over and answered it slapping the button with her thumb.
She refused to say anything first.
"Sakura?"
It was Sasuke, his voice was smoldering and groggy as if he had just woken up.
"Yeah."
"What's up...are you ditching work too?"
"No...I'm at work."
"Then why're you calling me?"
"...who answered your phone?"
Sasuke scoffed.
"Why does it matter?"
"It doesn't...it just sounds like you just woke up."
"I did..."
"So..."
"So, you didn't want to spend the night, someone else did."
Sakura rolled her eyes.
"I don't care."
"Then why are we having this conversation?"
"I need to talk to you about Itachi."
Sasuke sighed.
"Hn, I don't want to talk about my brother, he left Sakura, he's not coming back."
"It's not like that, I got questioned this morning."
"Oh, what'd they say about my mom?"
"Nothing, they don't even know she's missing Sasuke...the police think that your father is Itachi."
Sasuke laughed.
"What the fuck?"
"They say Madara Uchiha was a war hero and he died a long time ago."
Sasuke laughed even louder.
"What...a hero..." he sighed. "...look just come over after work and we'll try to figure some shit out, ok."
"They said that Itachi formed the Akatsuki Sasuke, they really think he is the mastermind behind any attack and they're not even after your father, they're after Itachi...they're going to hurt him...they're going t-"
"Sakura..." Sasuke said softly, causing her to stop speaking, she listened tentatively.
"...he's a big boy, my brother isn't some innocent little flower...you may think he's sweet but he's a fighter and a thinker before anything else. He can plan out an entire year of events, I'm sure he's planned out every thing...including your pregnancy...I bet he did that on purpose."
Sakura frowned but she only took a deep breath, she had been coming to Itachi's defense all day but she couldn't argue with Sasuke about his own brother. Sasuke had known Itachi almost all of his life so if there was anyone who could accuse Itachi of anything, it would be his younger brother.
"Why?"
"...he probably thinks he's going to loose you, so, with a kid, he's sure to be around."
"How do you know this...?"
"...because if I were in his shoes I'd probably make the same mistake..."
"Mistake...?"
Sasuke laughed softly and than uttered out a profanity.
"I'll see you during your break, I have to go to the police station to make them aware that my mom is missing, they probably won't listen to a single piece of shit I have to say."
"How do you know?"
"They never do." He snorted out a cute little laugh and then yawned.
"Don't worry about Itachi, he can handle himself..."
Sakura nodded, she felt slightly better.
"Ok."
For a moment neither of them spoke and then Sasuke sighed.
"I'll see you..."
"Ya, thanks."
"Bye...Sakura."
He hung up quickly and Sakura listened to the dial tone in her ear. She closed her eyes and shook feverishly.
G'bye Sasuke..
49. In The Sky.
Sakura,
I need to take you flying one day, I know you say you're afraid of heights and that's understandable. Flying isn't something humanity thought possible, men had feet to walk and birds had wings to fly.
Why go against that logic, right?
As a kid I think I've broken almost every bone in my body trying to keep both my feet off the ground. It took the doctors telling me that if I broke the right bone I'd die to make me give up.
Lol. I guess the laws of gravity won.
When I got into the military and I began my classes on how to fly, the moment I took off in my own air craft I never wanted to come back down.
Being above the earth with nothing but the peachy orange sky and the white fluff of clouds, it's an amazing feeling to be so high, lost in an endless sea of water-colored bliss.
Thousands of feet from the ground, out of sight, out of mind.
I felt like I had froze time, the aircraft which looked so heavy on the ground, was a feather in the sky. She flew so fucking smooth , just being carried by the wind. I can still hear the hum of her beneath my feet, I know that I'm not really flying by myself but I am the one controlling where I'm going.
The fist time I was riding the craft I had planned to break off and rally everyone back home, after all, I was beginning to have second thoughts about throwing my life to the wayside and fighting a war that I didn't even believe it necessary to fight.
I was planning one thing and not following the plan of action from the commanders. I was hit, right out of the sky by an enemy craft.
I felt like I had fallen right out of heaven and plummeted straight into the depths of hell.
I'm not sure why I survived it or how, I was only aware that I wouldn't make it out of Suna alive...but I did...because of the promise I made you.
Keep my promise because one day it'll be the reality for you and I, like flying...
So what men weren't made to fly, we made a way.
Who cares if we're too far away...because where it counts you're not that far.
Under the same sky, walking on the same earth, breathing the same air.
Can you feel me because I'm certain that I can feel you...
-Itachi
50. Prank Calls.
"So, anything new?"
She was vaguely aware of his presence in front of her as she examined the brief sheets of summary calls she had received from Mikoto's cell phone company.
There had been calls filed under unknown but, there were numbers there as well.
Intrigued, Sakura frowned with a spur of thought and sighed.
"Not much of anything to lead us to your father."
"Didn't we disgust this, lending a dick and some sperm doesn't make you a father, it makes you a donor..."
Sasuke said cryptically, twisting the pink hair that fell out of her ponytail around his index finger. His voice made her shiver, the way he talked always made her tingle.
She wasn't sure why but with Sasuke it didn't take much for him to get under his skin. Everything that came out of his mouth was either healing for the soul or shit that made her angry. He was balancing her out, she never knew which side of him she was getting.
The side that wrung her raw and livid with contempt or the side that questioned her motives and ideals. He didn't look as smart as his brother but he was a smart intellectual at heart.
Extremely deep when he allowed that side of him to creep through his unphased demeanor, something she rarely saw but it was somehow always within reach if she nudged at it a little.
He can be dangerous sometimes, that side of him...it get's to me.
She realized that Sasuk, himself, got to her. She cared for him in a way separate to anyone she had ever met. When he was hurting it somehow made her feel sorry for him, although she fought time and time again to ignore her heartbeat around him, there was no ignoring the intensity when he was around her.
She always found herself running away from being within his radius.
Which reminds me..
Before her skin could even began to crawl with goosebumps she stepped past him and grabbed the phone from Mikoto's Kitchen counter.
Sasuke crossed his arms and watched her.
"What are you doing?"
"There's a number on here, it shows up throughout the entire history, I'm going to prank call."
Sasuke raised a peculiar brow.
"Prank call...smart but wouldn't you have to have an unknown number to do shit like that?" He inquired.
Sakura nodded, with a small taunting smile.
"Watch and learn." She winked at his slightly confused cocked brow and jerked her head to gesture for him to come over. He walked over and Sakura pressed three numbers to block the ID.
"Step one star, six, nine..." She grinned. "...step two...I do a good Ino."
She dialed in the number quickly and Sasuke grinned.
"I've got to see t-"
"Step three...shut up." She covered his mouth and listened to the droning phones dial tone.
After nine rings someone picked up.
"Hello..." a voice asked in this very serene tone, so curious and oblivious.
Fuck! I didn't think of what to say...fuck balls...fuck...uhhh...brain farts...ugh...I got it!
"It's me.."
She said in the deepest voice she could muster, she even added a little gruff grunt at the end.
Sasuke chuckled and grabbed her hand, peeling it off his lips momentarily.
"Nailed her."
Sakura pushed her palm harshly over his lips again and then felt him bite it gently, sending a ripple of pleasure down her spine, she shivered and then issued an accusing look at him.
He stared back, placing a heavy hand over the back of her hand and pushing it into his mouth, her palm touched flatly into hIS mouth and she watched him bite her again, harder. His dark eyes hid behind his eyelids.
She yanked her eyes away from him just as the person spoke again.
"...the police?"
Huh...the police...well, that makes things a lot easier.
"Yes, is this Uchiha Madara..."
The voice chuckled on the other end.
"I'm afraid you have the wrong number..."
"...no-"
The phone flat lined and Sakura cursed under her breath.
It took a moment to realize that Sasuke still held her hand but not against his mouth, against his chest as he leaned forward to snatch the phone away from her.
"Hn, let me..."
Sakura frowned.
"If it didn't work for me, what makes you think it'll work for you."
"You were way too stiff, a joke actually, they probably really thought it was a prank call. You have to be sure of yourself and the shit that your doing, if you don't believe the shit your trying to sell...who else will."
Sakura rolled her eyes and mimicked him.
"Who made you the how to guide for prank calls."
"It's not a prank, it's a deal and I'm not simply here to just lick your fingers and try to fuck a baby out of you...I'm here to help, I like to be used..."
He whispered softly, dialing the number and then pushing the phone to his ear.
Sakura stared at the hand he held beneath his, a moment later he dropped it and veered off, speaking in a deep quiet tone that made her question why she had given it to him. She watched his body floating around his mothers kitchen, his fingers sliding across walls and the backs of chairs.
His hair sticking up off his head, his jaw hard and his eyes intense.
He laughed a few times and talked in a manor that she wasn't familiar with, she wasn't sure how long it went on but eventually he ended the conversation and placed the phone back down on the hook.
"Soo...I've got some good news and some fucked up news.."
Sakura's heart seemed to beat with complication as she stared hard at him and then began to frown.
"Well tell me already, I'm jumping in my panties.."
Sasuke leaned into the counter, his hands taking a dive into his spiky black hair.
"The good news is...the man we just called, used to work for Madara, he knows a few things...and he's willing to work with us regarding the rescue of my mother."
"What's the fucked up news...?" Sakura asked, big green eyes watching him warily.
Sasuke sighed and looked at her.
"The bad news is...he's in hiding and he's apart of Akatsuki, he thinks that we're the police and that we're tapping the line to find him. He's wounded and he thinks this is all one big set up so, we, well, I can't see him...he prefers you to go see him...say's it will put him at ease if he's talking to you...the funny thing is...he knew your name..."
He knew me...
"How..."
"I don't know but I'll be damned if I'm going to let you walk right into this alone...this could be exactly what the bastard wants."
Sakura frowned and shook her head.
"Can't be, maybe, this person's number is on here so much because he was keeping in touch with Itachi, maybe he's a friend."
"Then, he stabbed Itachi in the back because he let this shit happen."
"Maybe he didn't know."
"Maybe the devil wears Prada..."
Sakura stared at him, his fist balled up.
"Your not going.."
"You going to stop me?"
"If your going to challenge me I just might have to."
They both stared at one another, Sasuke's eyes dark and fathomless again.
"Why?"
"...because I'm not fuckless enough to walk my brothers girlfriend into the mouth of his enemies...that's a knife in the back."
"...I'm not his girlfriend..."
Sasuke stared at her.
"...in their eyes you're his entire world and for what he did, they will tear him apart and if that means killing you, so be it."
"They don't even know about me..."
"I wouldn't be too sure about that."
He sighed and then twisted his lips as he monitored the window over the kitchen sink.
"So, what do we do?"
"You...do nothing, I'll go check this out myself."
Sakura slammed her fist on the counter and got in her face, with her other hand she poked him in the chest.
"Stop trying to be Sasuke the bad ass...you don't have any weapons, he's a military terrorist, who'll probably send you into an abandon warehouse rigged with explosives."
Sasuke rubbed at where she poked him and shook his head with a grin.
"You watch way too many movies...and you don't know what I'm capable of. My father, he taught me the ropes of his crazy life, I was his successor. If anyone knows how to play this game...it's me, it's in my fucking blood...I'm not trying to be Sasuke the bad ass it's second nature. So, sit back, relax and wait for me tomorrow after you get out of work...I'll either come back nearly dead or...I'll come back with a lot of answers...can you handle that?"
Sakura stared into his determined eyes and rolled her eyes.
"I guess...since your being oppressive and oppressing me.."
He grinned.
"I have more bad news too.."
"What now?" She asked with a small frown, brows firm.
"Your moving into my apartment."
"No I'm not..." She said curtly.
"Yes, yes you are." He said smoothly. "...it's not a discussion Sakura."
"Yes it is because there should have been one in the first place."
"The stranger on the phone knows that you're pregnant."
"So, the entire town knows, I'm getting fatter by the second..."
"He knows where you live...he knows where you hide your key...he's even been in your room a couple of times scouting out information of Itachi's where abouts."
"What! I thought he was an alley!"
"He claims to be but he's pretty sloppy, if he could find you, who's to say that my fa-that Madara can't, you can't live there anymore, that apartment is a target."
"No, no I'm not just going to pack up because you think it's what's right, I have history in that place, I just recently paid my bills...I refuse to waist money and I can't raise a child in your apartment it's a bachelor pad and simply disgusting, if you haven't noticed."
"Your fucking rude, and here I am, trying to save a knocked up invalid who's life just might be the next one in jeaprody...instead of insulting my crib you could always just be a good girl and thank me for my sacrifice."
Sakura tossed up a hand.
"YOUR SACRIFICE!...If I were to move in I would be saving you from all the potential sexual diseases, not to mention the horrendous state your apartment is in. I can't believe women fuck around with you after they walk into your house, it just proves that the hoes have no class."
Sasuke grinned and knocked his knuckles against the table.
"I still don't know these hoes you speak of, there has never been a single women I've bought into my house that I've had to pay for the services they give to me or I've given to them...it's consensual and enjoyed on both sides, why, sometimes we've enjoyed ourselves so much that we don't leave the house for a day or two..."
Sakura rolled here eyes, blood boiling under her skin.
She shrugged, quickly.
"Well that's lovely."
"It has it's shitty side effects...hungry?"
"No, I want to go home though."
He stood up and his hands descended down on her arms.
"Your pregnant, you guys are always hungry...we'll stop by a store and then...I'll consider letting you come with me tomorrow."
Sakura stared at his face in surprise, every since he took on the role of being her body guard he had been extra careful to make sure she didn't have any fun and now, suddenly, he was saying that he'd consider letting her tag along on a dangerous mission.
Bull fucking shit...
She only frowned at him.
"I don't believe you."
He smirked.
"I'm not the one who lies to you, I've never given you any reason to not believe me."
"True, so, your serious..."
"Your the biggest target in this situation which makes you the biggest idiot...but I'm tired of trying to stop you from doing things, it's your body, it's your decision. If you wanna go see this guy, we'll go together...with weapons."
Sakura raised a delicate brow.
"Um...we don't have weapons...well, I don't have weapons."
Sasuke laughed.
"I'm your weapon."
He cut his laugh very quickly and then placed his leather jacket around her shoulders.
"Let's go feed you two and then we'll go over our plan later."
Sakura stared into his eyes, he didn't notice at first, to intent on getting her arms into his jacket.
She wondered why he wasn't being as difficult tonight as he was most nights.
Maybe he was starting to realize that I won't listen to him or maybe he'd lock me away in a tower guarded by a dragon tomorrow.
Sakura sighed and laughed at her over exaggerated imagination.
Maybe I do watch too much T.V...
51. Intervention.
Hey new friend, it's me Hinata, my hubby and I are going out on Tuesday to a very prestigious government affair, it's a really dressy party and I'd like it if I was not the only pregger women there so, we can have a sort of double date. If you have a guy in mind please bring him and if you don't want to that's fine too, I just don't want you to feel like the fourth wheel between the hubby, baby and me. :}
Toodles
-Uzumaki, Hina
HAHA, the fourth wheel...Hey there and of course I didn't forget you, my first impression of you was...WOW...this lady has too much energy to be pregnant but I vibe with you for sure. Well I can't make any promises, between all of the appointments accumulating on my calender I won't know until the end of this week. I will let you know, promise. ;} Hope your having a good day.
-Me
Well if your free mark it down, it's Friday, next week.
-Uzuamki, Hina
For sure *_^ done and done.
-Me
"YOUR WHAT!"
"Its...a temporary thing, Ino, we're not getting hitched or anything."
"Why didn't you run this by me before you just decided to just up and pack everything away?"
"I didn't pack anything, Sasuke and some guys from his job did it..."
"You know what I mean, why didn't you come talk to me about it, I know you really liked Shikamaru and you didn't agree with my cheating but Sakura I honestly thought you wouldn't be this biased. Did you replace me with some other women, who is she and where does she live?"
Sakura chuckled.
"Ino I don't have any other best friends, there is no women and I'm not mad about you and Shikamaru so would you just take a breather and a seat."
"On Sasuke's sofa...no...do you realize how many women have probably squirted their body pleasure out on that thing, if your going to really move into this place you need a green light and some bleach..."
She shivered, eyes darting around.
"This is seriously the poorest decision you've ever made Sakura being around Sasuke this much, it can't be good for you or the baby."
Sakura rolled her eyes.
"That doesn't even make any sense."
"He's going to stress you out, he's not a good atmosphere, everything about him just says unstable...you guys couldn't even be in a room for five seconds without arguing, not your living with him! That's a whole nother ball game."
She shook her head as though she were ashamed.
Sakura sighed and lay back on the sofa.
"I don't have much of a choice, I'm just doing what's right for her."
Sakura pat her stomach and for the first time it felt really authentic and comforting, just like it would if the necklace was around her neck.
"I don't have much of an option."
"Uh, ya you do, you could always move in with me and Kiba."
Sakura stared at Ino and took a deep breath.
"No, you guys are always kissing and skanking it up...no thanks."
Ino leered at her and then crossed her arms.
"There's no swaying you, Sasuke has his claws so deep into that ass that your really going along with that eagle headed fuck."
Sakura laughed.
"Ino why are you opposing it soo much."
Ino dropped down into the chair beside her.
"...because Sakura your an emotional wreck and Sasuke, although he tries to hide it...he does a damn good job at it, he's an emotional wreck. Two emotional wrecks..."
she held up both her hands and then slammed them into one another.
"...wreck each other."
Sakura watched the hands collapse and then closed her eyes.
"We're not shacking up, he's just trying to figure out what's going on...he's just trying to keep me safe."
"For what, you're not his responsibility."
"We're friends."
She smiled.
"Does Sasuke know that?"
"I'm sure he does, since he's the one who keeps saying it."
"Sakura, Sasuke is a man, they don't just do things like this out of the kindess of their hearts...have you ever thought that maybe there is a reason Sasuke keeps coming to your rescue?"
Sakura shook her head, eyes closed.
"Itachi gave him a letter, maybe he's just taking care of me because of Itachi."
"I don't think so, for as long as I've known them Itachi and Sasuke are as different as night and day. Sasuke only cares about himself, so seeing him do something like this...you should be careful."
Sakura smirked.
"I thought he was your friend."
"He is...but, I've known Itachi longer..."
"So, your Team Itachi too."
Ino raised a brow.
"What?"
Sakura ran her fingers over her face.
"Nothing...look, I trust Sasuke, I don't know why but for whatever reason, something tells me that he has my best interest at heart. I've already thought about the bad things he's done and the good but he's been sober lately, he barely smokes as much as he used to and he seems like he's really trying to be good...so...I give him his props, until he fucks up."
"Well than, you've better make sure that you don't fuck up then.."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't play coy Sakura, you've got to know that displaying this much trust in someone just makes them want to do better and better until they get what they want..."
"Well at least he'll be doing better, I can't object to helping someone get better."
"He wants you...I can tell he does."
Ino says placing her palm on Sakuras small bump.
Sakura discontinued breathing for a moment.
"No he doesn't...I'm pregnant and grouchy, he always complains."
"Sakura, Sakura, Sakura...you just can't admit when you're wrong."
Sakura's heart beat began to rise and she took a deep breath.
"It's pretty obvious...this is the most hands on I've ever seen him...he's working, he cares about his mother and he has his dick in his pants. It's scary."
Sakura laughed.
"Maybe he just wants to change."
Ino sucked her teeth.
"Your going to fall in love with him."
Sakura stared at Ino's fingers drawing lines down her belly.
"No...we're two very different people...it would never work out and I don't have time to fall in love, I'm barely out of love."
Ino scoffed.
"The way he's acting...it's kind of sweet, I haven't seen it in a long time..."
"He's just helping me out because I'm his brothers baby mama."
Ino laughed.
"You're going to crash and burn on Sasuke Island."
Sakura laughed.
"No I'm not, I have self restraint and I can survive without a muse."
Ino only sighed.
"Sakura, make it hard for him..."
"What do you mean?"
"Make it hard for him to...sweep you off your feet, make him sweat, make him feel like if he doesn't have you he's going to die."
Sakura frowned and then burst out laughing.
"Ok Ino, your creeping me out now."
Ino sighed and closed her eyes.
"I wanted Shikamaru to fight for me but...he didn't even toss a fist, he just sorta...gave up...I always thought it was real when there was blood shed, kind of romantic when two men are fighting over you and one of them just kicks the other guys dick off."
Sakura laughed.
"Ino, no offense to that dramatic little switch in your head but...there will be no fighting over me, I don't need a man, I can survive just fine on my own and the wonders of a good vibrator. I want both Sasuke and Itachi to be happy and neither of them need me in their life to accomplish that."
Ino was quiet for a moment, Sakura assumed she was reflecting and then a moment later she began to snore.
Sakura smiled and closed her eyes as well, she placed her hand over Ino's hand on her belly and stared at the ceiling in Sasuke's apartment.
Itachi...I hate you and I miss you...I think we both do.