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Disclaimer: Gravitation doesn't belong to me.
Chapter 10
"Professor Mitchell, Mr. Yuki wants to meet you. Shall I say you are busy?"
The old man took off his glasses and hurriedly stood up. His hair was pure white and wrinkles were visible on his round face, a perfect face for a professor.
"No Ms. Pitt. Tell him to come in. He's not a patient!"
The door closed and the woman disappeared. The old man's eyes were fixed on the wooden door until it opened and relieved his most favorite student.
Yuki hadn't changed much, but he looked like a man now, his eyes looked more mature and his face was speaking of a well- known man. He looked taller and more manish; But Yuki was Yuki, His most intelligent and strangest student in all his life as a professor.
Yuki bowed his head a little and murmured a 'hi' under his breath. Professor Mitchell smiled warmly and mentioned for Yuki to come nearer.
"What has brought my favorite Yuki here? I missed you young man! I have heard you have become a well- known doctor. To be honest, I did not expect anything less from you. You had the ability in you; I have to admit I was very disappointed when you chose heart over the brain though but no matter. I know in reality you always chose brain. You're a man with logic Eiri. That's why I like you."
The old man chuckled and shook his head.
"I'm giving you a head ache. Come, take a seat and tell me why you've come to see this old man."
Yuki obeyed quietly and sat on the wooden chair. Professor Mitchell sat in front of him behind his desk and took his time to study Eiri. No, he had not changed much, but he could tell that the younger professor was worried about something. He knew Eiri better than anybody else.
"Professor Mitchell, I have come to you because I believe you are the best professor ever when it comes to brain."
"You are not sick Eiri, are you?"
"No, no I am not, but someone close to mine is."
Professor Mitchell sighed in relief. He leaned on the chair and locked his green eyes to the golden eyes of Yuki. His worried features changed into something more serene; the thoughtful expression did not leave the old face though.
"What can I do for you? What's wrong that you can not solve it yourself?"
"I don't know. Last night, I saw something very strange. Something I had never seen nor had heard about before. I only hope you know about it."
Yuki ran a hand through his temple and tried to remember what exactly had happened last night. The more he thought about it, the more confused he became.
"Professor… is it possible for a person to call somebody in a nightmare and when he hears that person, the nightmare leaves?"
Professor Mitchell titled his head and looked at Yuki. There was a confused expression on his serene face now.
"You mean without the person waking up?"
Yuki nodded his head and stayed quiet.
"Tell me everything Yuki. Have you seen it with your eyes?"
"Yes, yes I have."
Yuki put his elbows on the desk and tried to collect his thoughts, from the very beginning until last night. There was nothing wrong with the boy when he was awake, he looked perfectly normal. He did not know what to do anymore.
"I have a patient. He is suffering from a heart disease; I believe he has suffered from an early arteriosclerosis. I have seen angina pectoris in him. I do not know the reason yet, but it not something that is plaguing me. I know he has had nightmares for a long time now. This is not something unusual. So many people in hospital have nightmare but his nightmares…they are beginning to scare me."
"What is so special about them?"
"It's foolish, really, but I think the nightmares are something more than just bad dreams. Last night, I saw him. The way he was acting in his sleep, it felt so …real."
"What are you trying to tell me, Eiri? What have you discovered?"
Yuki leaned on the chair and took a deep breath. It couldn't be. It simply couldn't be real, but why it sounded so horrifying…so real?
"I think…I think that he did feel my presence when I said his name. I think he was conscious and unconscious at the same time."
"Eiri, what you are saying is impossible. It is not logical!"
"Nor was the boy I saw last night! Then why he calmed down when I asked him to?"
He sighed frustrated.
"It is too complicated to explain professor. There are so many questions in my head. Why was he calling me in the first place? Why doesn't he remember anything when he wakes up? He only knows he sees nightmares because others had told him so, but I can see something in his eyes. I am scared for the boy. I am sure he is suffering from something greater that angina pectoris."
Silence filled the room. Neither of them said anything. Both of them were looking at the distance, thinking about the exchanged words between them.
Professor's voice broke the silence.
"If somebody else told me about this, I would say he was crazy, but I know you Eiri. You know what you say and you know what you do. I myself do not believe in the reality of nightmares or things like this very much, but I will give you a book to read. I will come and see him if it is necessary, but Eiri…"
He pushed for a second.
"You are psychologist. You know how dangerous it is to deal with these patients. You remember Howard, don't you?"
Yuki did not answer.
"What I am trying to say is that you should not push him off his limits. Be patient with him, especially now that he's suffering from arteriosclerosis. I will come and see him."
Yuki slowly stood up. His mind was not working well today, maybe it was because he had not slept at all, or maybe it was because of Shuichi. He did not know. The day was getting worse and worse.
He did not say a word as he opened the office door. When he was about to go, he heard the old man's voice that way saying:
"Get the book from Ms. Pitt. And remember to tell me about the results."
Yuki quietly left the office. A long day was waiting for him.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
The hospital was drawn in a deadly silent. Most of the lights were off. There was no sign of nurses or doctors in the hallway, but if you looked more closely, you would see a young boy, wearing a white shirt and white pants, standing next to a door, looking very unsure.
Shuichi looked around once more. He was quite sure there was nobody there, but he couldn't help himself. What he was doing was quite wrong. If somebody found him, they would rip his head off.
He carefully and silently opened the door and stepped inside. Doctor Yuki's office was dark and quiet. His heart was beating fast from nervousness but he chose to ignore it. Something important was playing in his mind at the moment, namely, Doctor Yuki's personal life.
He looker around and took a deep breath. Now that he was here, there was no turning back.
He knew it wasn't right to search for his doctor's private life in his office without any permission, but he simply couldn't stop himself anymore. Doctor Yuki always made him feel...He couldn't put his finger on it. It was a new feeling for him. Whenever Doctor Yuki was around him, he felt ecstatic and embarrassed at the same time. Ecstatic because Doctor Yuki had a personality that made you want to be near him as much as possible and embarrassed because every time Doctor Yuki stared at him he felt...warm and his voice, there was something especial about his voice. It was comforting. He liked the coldness in the rich voice.
Shuichi shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. It wasn't the time or the place to think about these silly things. He was in doctor Yuki's office and it was possible for everybody to find him there and then...no, he didn't want to think about the results.
What would happen if Doctor Yuki found him in his own office?
The room was getting darker and darker .It was almost impossible to see anything but he didn't dare to turn on the light. It was wrong to attract attention. While he was searching for doctor Yuki's bookcase, he thought that how much doctor Yuki was like shadows.
When something is hidden in the shadows you can't fully understand what it is. Sometimes you think what you're looking at is a man but when you turn on the light you see that it was only a coat which was hanging from the wall.
Doctor Yuki was exactly like this. Shuichi was sure that another man was hidden in Doctor Yuki's shadow and he wanted to know that man. He wanted to know Eiri, not Doctor Yuki. He wanted to know if the man was really emotionless or he was hiding them and if he was hiding them, what was the reason? He could not stop himself from wondering. He was a curious boy by nature and God knew how many times he had paid for his curiosity. He shuddered at the memories.
Finally finding the book case, he tried to read the name of books in the semi darkness of the room. Once, his mother had told him that he could understand people's personalities by the books they read. He wondered what kind of books this famous doctor liked to read.
Heart diseases...Anatomy of body...Power of the brain...How to stay healthy...Know about common diseases...Learning human anatomy...Physiology...
Shuichi sighed. The never ending scientific books were making his poor head spin. How was he supposed to understand anything about doctor Yuki's personal life with these books? They were all scientific, something Shuichi was not interested in at all.
He sighed again. Maybe he had to search his locket? Yes, it was a good idea, but then he reminded himself that no sane man would leave his locker unlocked.
Disappointed, he was about to turn around when suddenly, he saw a note book. The cover was red. Interested all of a sudden, He picked up the notebook .It didn't look very old. Opening it carefully he read what was written in the first page.
My dear Eiri,I will love you until the end of time!
Shuichi took a deep breath. Was it from that blonde girl? Suddenly he was scared. What if doctor Yuki was married? If it was true, then what he was going to do?
He decided that he did not like this idea at all. Doctor Yuki could not be married. He told himself that there was no difference if Doctor Yuki was married or not, but his answer did not convince himself at all. He had to be single! The man could not get along with any woman or so Shuichi liked to think like that, but in reality, he knew that he was lying to himself. It seemed that blonde woman liked Yuki very much and worse, it seemed that Yuki liked here back. Shuichi shuddered again.
He turned over the page but quickly closed his eyes. He just didn't have the courage to look at the open notebook anymore. He did not know what was written in it. What if it was a love letter? What if…?
Shaking his head, he opened his eyes. Nothing was written on the new page. He sighed in relief, but then he saw a picture. There was only a picture of a young boy. Maybe 18 or maybe he was 19. The boy looked quite nice and pleasant. His hair was black and his blue eyes were shining with happiness. As he turned over the page, he saw another picture. It was from the same boy. That boy was standing next to the younger Eiri, who was smiling warmly.
'I've never seen him smile so warmly.'
He felt a pang of jealously in hid heart but ignored it. He could not be jealous. It was only a fucking picture!
All of the pages were full of pictures from that boy and doctor Yuki. He was about to close the book from anger when suddenly a Piece of paper fell on the ground. Highly curious, He picked it up. It was impossible to read what was written in it in the darkness. Silently he went next to the window and leaned on the cold wall. His heart was beating faster than before but he ignored it again and started to read.
Howard,
Now that I'm sending this letter to you, you might be anywhere, but I have to write this for you. It's essential. There have been so many things in my mind lately. I needed to think. I needed to clear my mind. It was the only reason why I left England; I'll come back this week though.
Professor Mitchell has told me about your condition and I have to admit that I am most certainly not happy about it. I clearly remember that I told you what to eat and where to go before I left, but knowing you…
Howard, these things are not the reasons why I am writing this letter. We both know what I am talking about. I guess you are confused, so am I. I never expected…
"Interesting letter, isn't it?"
Suddenly the lights went on and to Shuichi's horror, doctor Yuki appeared next to the door. He was staring coolly at Shuichi but he could see a fire of anger behind the cool mask. He was afraid that his heart was going to burst from fear at any moment. The letter fell on the ground but Shuichi didn't pick it up. He was too afraid to move. His body was shaking and he didn't have the courage to speak.
It was a horrifying moment for Shuichi. His body went cold. The worst thing he was expecting to happen happened. What was Doctor Yuki going to do him? His mind went numb.
Eiri closed the door and went toward Shuichi. His elegant steps echoed in the silent office .Standing next to the young boy, he looked at those full of fear eyes and put his hand on the wall. He was too close to Shuichi. He could almost feel his patient's heart beat. It was fast and unsteady.
"It looks like that you were exploring my office. Did you find anything interesting beside that notebook?"
Shuichi was speechless. In fact he didn't hear what doctor Yuki had said at all. He couldn't see doctor Yuki anymore. Memories were flashing in his mind. He wanted to scream but his mouth was too dry to form a word.
...The ground was cold and wet. He could taste his own blood on his lips. He could hear a cruel voice but he couldn't do anything. His hands were tied .He was sore but that man didn't stop. He shouldn't have done it. He shouldn't have disobeyed. He had warned him. He should have listened. ...
"Shuichi, can you hear me?"
...His cries were muffled since somebody was pushing his head to the ground .Something hard hit his back. Tears were running on his cheeks. He couldn't open his eyes. He couldn't see anything. Fear was making him immobile. Who were they? He wanted to cry. He was scared. He was too scared...
"Shuichi, open your eyes. Shuichi, please open your eyes."
...blood was running on his legs. He couldn't move. Drops of rain were hitting his bare back. That hard thing hit his back again. It was getting harder and harder to bear. He was not this cruel before...
..."Interesting night, isn't it?"
…He ran under the table. His father's steps were echoing in the room. His heart was beating fast. He did not want to go.
…she did not breathe any more. He could not see her. It was freezing cold.
…The water was making him freeze. He was scared. He could not see her anymore…
Shuichi opened his eyes. Someone was splashing water on his face. A pang of pain in his chest made him moan loudly. As everything stopped spinning, he felt somebody on him. Now wide awake, he tried to push the man away, but the man had pinned him down. He felt scared. He didn't want to be hurt anymore.
"Calm down Shuichi!"
"No...No! Please don't hurt me anymore!"
Eiri was trying to calm Shuichi down but nothing seemed to work. The boy wasn't listening at all. He was tossing and turning. It was almost impossible to make him listen. He was not here. It seemed he was somewhere else. He was talking to another person. Yuki sighed, frustrated.
"Please don't do it anymore! I swear I won't run away anymore! I'll listen to whatever you say! I swear! Please...It hurts too much"
Suddenly Eiri let go of the boy. He was too shocked to do anything. What did Shuichi mean? Don't hurt me anymore...I won't run away...It hurts too much. Those words did not mean good at all.
When he looked back at Shuichi he had hugged in knees and was crying. Snapping back he quickly hugged Shuichi lightly, trying not to scare him this time.
"Calm down Shuichi .It's me! It's only me. I won't hurt you. I have promised, remember?"
Shuichi looked at Yuki's serene face. His eyes were shining with tears and his cheeks were a fade shade of red. Shuichi circled his hands around Eiri's neck.
"Doctor Yuki?"
Eiri allowed a small smile to appear on his lips and hugged Shuichi. His face was so close to Shuichi's. He could feel Shuichi's short breaths on his face. Shuichi's lips quivered again and fresh tears appeared in his purple eyes.
"I'm so sorry."
Eiri's smile widened. Shuichi looked too adorable with his lips quivering; his face flushed from crying and his hair messy .For one moment Eiri was looking at the pink hair boy and next…
His lips were pressed to Shuichi's.
His lips were wet, soft, warm and inexperienced. Eiri closed his eyes. He didn't know what he was doing but he was enjoying the kiss too much to draw his head back. Hugging the boy closer he pressed his lips more firmly to Shuichi's .He felt Shuichi trying to kiss back. Although his actions were screaming 'completely inexperienced', Eiri didn't mind at all. He was tired of experienced lips any way.
The kiss was strange for both of them. Strange for Shuichi because it was his first kiss with a man, well, it was his first kiss in total. He had never kissed anybody before and strange for Yuki because, never before, he had kissed a boy like…this. The kiss was different from all the kisses he had shared.
"Doctor Yuki, about the patient in the room 104,I must tell you..."
Hearing the voice of Doctor Butler, Eiri sharply drew his head back and bitted his lip. He just didn't have the courage to look at Shuichi .He was afraid to see regret and fear in those eyes. Instead, he fixed his eyes on the cursed doctor who was standing next to the door with raised eyebrows.
"Is something wrong doctor Yuki? Do you need my help?"
Eiri clenched his teeth together and stood up. His hate for Doctor Butler had reached to its highest level possible. Taking a deep breath, he shook his head to get rid of the thoughts of those sweet lips. Clearing his throat and forcefully smiling, he tried to answer.
"No doctor Butler. Everything is just fine. You were saying something about a patient. Please continue."
He could feel Shuichi shifting on the cold floor, but he didn't look at him. For the first time in his life, he was regretting what he had done. He was unsure if they were going to be the same after the kiss. However his heart was reminding him that he didn't want to be just a doctor for Shuichi anymore. Shaking his head he tried to concentrate on what doctor Butler was saying which appeared to be more difficult than what he was originally expecting.
'Damn you Shuichi! What have you done to me?'
"...So I think it's a good idea to let her..."
"I'm sorry doctor Butler, but tonight I'm really tired. I think it's a better idea to discuss about this matter tomorrow."
Doctor Butler raised an eyebrow and looked at the young boy who was currently sitting on the hard floor. The boy's cheeks were red from embarrassment and his face was wet but, Doctor Butler knew better than to ask doctor Yuki what the problem was.
He was sure that he had seen them kissing but again he didn't ask anything. Doctor Yuki was Mr. Seguchi's favorite doctor after all, but that boy on the floor...Doctor Butler slowly smiled.
"That's okay with me. I'll see you tomorrow at your office. Good night."
And to Eiri's relief, Doctor Butler left his office. Sighing deeply, he was about to turn around when Shuichi hurriedly got up and ran out of the office. Yuki did not miss the fresh tears that were running on his cheeks.
Eiri knew he had to go after Shuichi but he couldn't move. He felt like the room was out of air. He tried to take a deep breathe but failed. Somehow he was feeling that he had lost a very important thing in his life.
'What am I going to do?'
For the first time in his entire life, he didn't know the answer to a question.