Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.
Chapter 10-Decisions
BPOV
Jacobs words melted my heart, he really does love me. Maybe, just maybe, I could give him a chance, let him love me...and I could return it one day. The way he deserves to be loved. But that seems unlikely, considering the disrepair my heart is in. It feels like it will never totally heal. Even though when Jake is near it pulls together, but it does not ever close. I wonder if I will ever love another like I did Edward. My love for him became an obsession, like I was possessed by it. Him leaving me was like cutting my oxygen off at the source, the reason for breathing left me alone in the forest.
I truly wanted to give Jacob a chance, he was too good, too kind, to just break his heart all over again. My want and need to sleep with Jacob was a selfish one. It is totally for my self preservation. I know what I need to do, "Jake, can we take a few steps back and assess our situation?" I said swallowing a little too loudly. Jacobs massive body was still on top of me, holding himself up with his hands looking me in the eye. He closed his eyes briefly, and took a slightly deep breath. "Sure Bells." Patting the bed beside me, trying to coax this beast off of me. When he was by my side my face immediately turned scarlet, because I remembered that I was completely naked. "Uhhh, Jake, will you excuse me for just a minute?" pulling the covers with me as I drug my self to my feet. Jacobs laughter shaking the bed. "Bells, I have already seen you, and you have nothing to hide, your beautiful."
I turned to smile and blush at him. "Just a minute." I squeaked. I grabbed a handful of comfortable cotton out of my drawer and headed for the bathroom.
Leaving my cover at the door of the bathroom, I rushed and put my night clothes on. Looking in the mirror I notice the pink undertones my skin was throwing off, and the burgundy of my lips caused by Jakes mouth. Scanning my skin to look at the obvious changes from tonights happenings, "Oh no..no..no...NO!" There on my neck was a purple mark. What am I going to tell Charlie? I guess I will say I fell and hit the shower faucet or something. He will believe it because I am so clumsy. I hated lying to Charlie, considering everything he has went through with me. But this was a necessity. He would think I was nuts if he knew that Jacob caused this.
I put my hair in a loose ponytail, brushed my teeth, and splashed cool water on my face. I might better put some deodorant on because I was sweating terribly, in there with Jacob. His body temperature is unusually hot. I wonder if he is okay, he seems to run a constant fever, even though he doesn't act sick. Taking one last look in the mirror, bracing myself to return, to tell him that I wanted to wait. Nervous knots filling my stomach. The hole coming back open slightly, causing a tightening in my chest, like something was squeezing my heart. Anxious to be back in my room with Jacob, where I felt safe, I walked very swiftly to my room. "Jacob, sorry it took...." I stopped because Jacob, "My Safe Harbor," was nowhere to be seen.
As I threw myself on my bed face first, feeling the sobs welling up in my chest, ready to explode, I seen a note on my nightstand.
Bella,
I am so sorry I had to leave without saying goodbye.
There has been some complications that have come up
and I don't know when I will see you again. I love you
with all of my heart Bells, and I hope to be back in
your arms again soon. Just in case things don't turn out to
well, I want you to know that you bring meaning to my life,
my reason for existing. You are my life . Oh, and by
the way, sorry for the mess, I promise I will explain later.
Forever Yours,
Jacob
I placed the note next to me on my pillow, as I finally allowed my tears to escape. Thunderous emotions spilled, as I let all of his words sink in. The slight resemblence of some of these words written here brought pain with them. And what does he mean if things don't turn out well? And what mess is he talking about? I sat up with tears fogging my vision trying to look and see what he was talking about. There on the floor was the only piece of clothing he had on shredded on the floor, and something else but I wasn't quite sure. I got up and turned my overhead light on so I could see better. Bending down to touch whatever it was that was that was now scattered all over my floor. It was course to the touch, a deep russett color. It kind of looked like hair. Animal hair, what in the world?
My tears had stopped because I was in such deep thought as of what could have happened here, in the ten whole minutes I was gone to the bathroom. Confusion racked my brain. Did an animal come in here through my window and attack him? Well that didn't seem logical because he wrote me a note, and plus there was no sign of struggle, or no blood. Laying back on my bed, feeling the weight of sleep about to take me over, my thoughts were of Jacob, pure and good. How he disappeared so suddenly, and wondering what took place here. When and if I would get to see him again. All of these thoughts were playing like a warped record in my head. Until I succumbed to sleep.
Jake and I sat on a mossy log in my favorite part of the forest, his large hand placed over mine. It was cold out and Jacob put his arm around me, I nuzzled my head onto his shoulder. And as if it was possible being next to his heat, to literally feel the temperature around us drop. It was a significant drop, about ten degrees, if my estimations are correct. Then out of a deep fog that was forming from all of the moisture, a lean, tall figure sauntered towards us. Wait, I recognized that evident grace, could it be? Squinting against the thick, wet fog, I couldn't quite make out yet who was coming upon us, or what was coming for us. As it came into view I immediately knew it was him, except I noticed he was different. A hard look on his face and his mouth turned up into a wicked smile, bearing all of his razors edge teeth. "My, my Bella, look what you have come to, if I knew you were such a little slut that would sleep around with dogs like this, I would have never even bothered." I was angry and frightened at the same time, knowing my Edward would never talk to me like that. "What do you want Edward." I have come to claim you Isabella, to take back what is rightfully mine. I am going to kill your Jacob so he can never interfere with my will again. With lightning speed I seen him flash to attack Jacob. But as I stood never letting go of Jacobs hand, I noticed a heavy trembling in Jacob. Scared to death I thought, I would not let Edward kill him, without killing me to. That is the least I could do for my bestfriend. NOOOOOOOOO! I jumped in front of Jacob as the love of my life smacked hard into me.
Gasping forair, I woke, clothes and sheets drenched with my own sweat. I was having trouble catching my breath. I needed to talk to Jacob. I picked up the phone, dialed his number. It rang six times and right before I hung up I heard Billy on the other line. "Hello, is there anyone there?" "Yes Billy it is me Bella, is Jake there I really need to talk to him?" " No Bella he isn't, is everything okay?" Sobs were coming out of me in torrents. "He disappeared, he left me, where?"
"Bella, calm down sweetie, is your dad home?" "I don't care where is Jaacob?" "Bella I can't tell you where he is, but everything is going to be okay."
Please review. Sorry I haven't written in days. Been quite busy. Thanks to all who review. Promises to write more! :)