chapter ten..
The Most I Could Do Was To Blame Myself
ahh yeah 60 reviews I have never felt so happy...
luvklm1991- thanks... don't worry I got your twists all right here... oh and 1991 is a good year...the year i was born
sirladyknight- I know I hated killing off thayet... it was so sad...
USNA- updating... thanks for the review.. read on!
Wave Bender- nah the one Rae killed was just a random one.. thanks for liking the story.. much appreciated..
maliphire- ahh yeah that song is so good... if you ever saw the music video i almost cried.. it was so sad... thanks for the review... read on!
nativewildmage- I'm not that evil... maybe just a tint... oh I love the new story update it please!
On Top of Cloud9- yeah I hate Jon too... hehe so thats why he accidentally died.. but I miss Thayet.. sob read on!
Irish Violinist- your wish is granted...
Swapneshwari- ok she finds about the Fitrakis in a dream.. and Rae comes in I forgot which chapter.. but he's in there... thanxs for reading... read on!
Knights of Ne- thanks for making my 50th review sooo special... much appreciated... yeah theres more than 1 fitrakis notice I said 'ancient race' race usually means more than 1...
so here is chapter 10...
disclaimer: still I own nothing... but I swear I'll let you know if I own something...
hell week 05' is over... school in 2 days begins
HAPPY LABOR DAY!
Chapter 10
Jzet felt a strange tingling sensation through out her body. She was scared to open her eyes, but did so anyway. She found herself still lying on the ground and with an old looking woman hovering over her.
"It's about time you woke up!" she said her voice cracking. Jzet looked to her left expecting to see her father there, but he wasn't.
"Wait where's my father?" Jzet asked panicked.
"Oh the healer with the green eyes," said the woman her old wrinkle face drooping as she tried to remember. "Ah yes he woke a little while after I was arrived to care for you. He looked very worried, but I told him you just had some major gift drainage. He was then called away towards the battle."
"Wait what happened to that man who was about to kill me?" Jzet asked sitting up and received a water flask from the older woman. She drank till she felt half way human. The old woman pointed to the middle of the road. There was the Carthakian soldier on the ground sword marks pierced his body.
"Was it you that killed him?"Jzet asked.
"No, it was a younger lad he wasn't very skilled with a sword though." said the older lady. "He almost stabbed himself when he was handling that weapon."She chuckled.
"What did he look like?" Jzet asked wondering if it was one of her friends.
"He had flaming red hair and emerald green eyes kind of like the healer man." said the old woman. "He told me his name was Chuck of Queenscove, gave me a gold coin, and told me to heal you and your father." Jzet almost screamed out in astonishment.
"My step brother did that?" Jzet said still in shock. She couldn't believe her university bred, step brother could kill a man. The old woman nodded.
"Aye, caught the man by surprise to." she said.
"Well I need to go." said Jzet getting up.
"Oh no you don't page," said the woman grabbing her by the arm. "I was told to bring you to the palace after you stirred. The green eyed man told me."
"Wait the battle is over?" Jzet asked.
"Aye, we won," said the old woman, "the Carthakians started to fall apart after that purpled hair monster was destroyed by some Shang. But we still lost quite a few men." Jzet made the sign against evil on her chest.
"I guess we should get going than." Jzet said admitting defeat. The old woman gave Jzet a crutch to lean against because Jzet found out she had a badly injured leg that the healing woman couldn't fix and then they started off back to the palace very slowly.
Jzet looked around Corus to her disliking. It was a complete mess, rubble and bodies were every where. Jzet could smell the sharp undistinguishable reek of smoke knowing there must be fire that made her eyes water and bring back memories of the past back. Soon she was so disgusted she kept her eyes closed as she walked.
Two hours later, and as the sun was setting Jzet and the old healing woman reached the palace which looked terrible too. It was on fire in the south wing where the royalty lived and guards laid eagle spread, dead on the ground. Jzet gasped in horror at the sights recognizing many familiar faces amongst the dead guards. She knew she would mourn for them later.
"Should we go inside?" asked the healing woman who looked teary eyed herself.
"But what about the fire!" Jzet protested. The old woman just shook her head.
"Mages are putting it out as we speak." said the old woman pushing open the gate. "I can sense their magic at work." Jzet agreed reluctantly and then followed the old woman up the path towards the main palace. The path also showed now and then dead bodies of both Tortallans and Carthakians littered along the sides.
"So much death and destruction," muttered the old woman sadly. Her long grey hair was in her face as she lowered her head and did the sign against evil on her chest.
Jzet bowed her head at the woman's words. She knew deep down inside her, it was her own fault for this.
They finally came to a door that lead to the kitchens.
"Hello is anyone there?" Jzet called out her voice seemed to echo.
Silence.
Jzet opened the door admitting her and the old woman inside. The place was completely deserted not even a small mouse lurked in the corner. Debris littered the floor, but Jzet did not see any bodies or signs of struggle.
"Um are you sure about this-" Jzet began. But the old woman interrupted.
"My name is Gosha first of all if you're wondering what my name is." said the old woman her crystal blue eyes sharp. "And yes I was told to take you to the infirmary and none of this debris, death, and fire is going to stop me from completing my mission. And plus your father made me do an unbreakable blood oath." Jzet eyes widen. Her father cared about her so much to make a blood oath with a complete stranger so she could be safe.
"And as you know," continued Gosha, "If I don't bring you to the infirmary I will die."
"I know," Jzet said feeling slightly annoyed because of the obviousness of the situation.
"You know this god forsaken palace better than me! Lead me to the infirmary." said Gosha stopping outside the door to exit the kitchen. She tried the knob. "It's locked."
"Stand back." Jzet warned and then smashed her shoulder against the door hoping to break it down only to find that the door didn't move at all.
"That will never work." screeched Gosha. "I'll just unlock it using my gift." Jzet blushed embarrassed she didn't think of the obvious.
She watched as Gosha shoved her white gift into the lock. Jzet heard a soft click and the door swung open leading into the hallway.
The hallway was dark with all the torches that usually were light had distinguished making the hallway feel creepy and very cold. Jzet watched Gosha's hands light up into a white light.
"Lead the way page," said Gosha in a low whisper. Jzet cautiously took a step forward and than another and then began to grow a little calmer.
"Walk faster page!" snapped Gosha. "I don't have all day." Jzet scowled at the older lady and then walked faster pulling her sore left leg behind her.
Jzet and Gosha trudged through the palace until they reached the infirmary which was filled with healing mages and injured people.
"Well I have completed my task." said Gosha bowing slightly. "Good luck with the rest of your training, page and may the Great Mother watch over you." Jzet smiled pleasantly relieved that Gosha was leaving her, but thankful for the woman's assistance.
"Good bye Gosha," said Jzet. "Thanks for everything you've done." She waved good bye one last time and then stepped back into the infirmary.
She was confronted by an old man as soon as she was inside; Jzet assumed was a healer because of thewhite robes he wore.
"What seems to be your problem?" he said hurriedly. Jzet studied him carefully her eyes falling up on his face that was as white as wax and she could see beads of sweat on his forehead. He looked sickly.
"My father, Sir Nealan of Queenscove told me to wait here." she said uncertain. "Is he here right now?" The older man's face relaxed and became less tense.
"Ah my lord is in the back room with a patient. He will be very pleased to see you." said the old man. "Follow me," Jzet followed the old man closely as he led her to a back room.
"My lord this young lady is here to see you." said the old man. Jzet peaked inside to see her father standing next to the bed of a man that looked like a soldier. He looked paler than even the old man and still sported a few cuts.
"Jzeliette!" her father exclaimed. Jzet hugged her father fiercely hoping never to let go.
"I was so worried Da'." she said her voice muffled as she rested her head onto his shoulder trying not to cry. "I'm so sorry."
"For what?" he asked stroking her hair.
"I was so worried that you might die without me forgiving you about Chuck." said Jzet. "I never really did mean the apology and I have been mad at you ever since that day. And I shouldn't have been because you were just protecting me like you did when you made that blood oath with Gosha." Her father looked confused.
"Who's Gosha?" he asked.
"Just the old lady you made the blood oath with." explained Jzet quickly.
"My lord we need you at bed three!" someone shouted. Jzet's father kissed her softly on the forehead.
"I'm glad you're safe Jzeliette." he said. "Now go back to your rooms and stay there until your training master or someone comes and gets you."
Jzet bowed deeply to her father and than ran off towards the pages wing happy to leave the smelly, sickly infirmary.
Jzet hurried down to the pages wing hoping that her fellow pages would be back, alive.
Her answer came soon as she turned the sharp corner to see Kearney, Audrey, and Cole in the hallway. Kearney was on the floor tears rolling down his face while Audrey and Cole crouched down beside him trying to comfort him.
"Kearney what's wrong?" Jzet asked skidding to a stop in front of them.
"Jzet you're alive!" exclaimed Cole hugging her. Kearney still sat on the floor sobbing.
"What's wrong with him?" Jzet asked concerned.
"Eoin's dead!" bawled Kearney crying harder. Jzet felt a sharp pain in her stomach and guilt flooded into her faster than running water. She knew she was the reason for Kearney's pain.
"Mithros Kearney, I'm so sorry." said Jzet softly really meaning it. "Here let's get out of the hallway and you guys can tell me the details of the fight." Jzet gave Kearney a hand helping the younger boy up off the ground.
"Eoin was my best friend in the world Jzet!" hollered Kearney. "I just can't get up and forget about him." Jzet hugged Kearney tightly and patted him on the back as he sobbed into her shoulder.
"I know, I know." she said gently. "But we can't just stay in the hallway the whole time. I'll make tea and you can come to my room." Kearney nodded sniffling.
She then helped Kearney inside putting him in a chair by the fire Audrey just light and then began to make the tea.
"So who are among the dead?" Jzet asked grimly. As she poured tea into Cole's cup. To her dismay Kearney broke out in sobs again.
"Kearney please it will be ok," said Cole reassuringly. He then continued. "Well the Rattler and Sergeant are alive and well to most parts. We didn't get much fighting action though, the Rattler commanded us to pick off men with bows and arrows instead of spears and swords after he realized we would die if we went head-to-head combatwith the soldiers. You unfortunalley didn't hear the orders and tore off on your own." Jzet gulped.
"Is he mad?" she asked.
"Oh yes he was." said Audrey frankly. "He was going to tear off after you himself, but Luke of Grotten complained of an injury so he had to attend to it."
"He did that on purpose!" Jzet accused.
"Yep he did." said Cole angrily. "The Rattler got really mad after he found out it was nothing and then he lost sight of you. Oh and then he was fuming."
"Yeah he said if you died out there it would absolutely tear him in two and he would feel completely responsible." said Audrey. Jzet eyebrows rose. "Oh I overheard him talking to Sergeant on the way to the palace." She blushed. "I guess I am an eavesdropper." Jzet scowled.
"Audrey that's not nice," she criticized. Audrey just shrugged. "So how did you find out your cousin died in battle?"
"I saw his corpse on the ground." said Kearney darkly. "His face was ghost pale and he had a slash across his chest."
"It was terrible." added Audrey honestly. Jzet felt another pang of guilt mixed up with sadness.
"This is all my fault." she said biting her lip to keep back her tears. "I'm the reason why Eoin, the queen, the king, and so many people are dead. I'm such a useless person."
"The king and queen are dead!" exclaimed Cole, Audrey, and Kearney in unison.
"Yes they were murdered by a Fitrakis." said Jzet not daring to look up from the floor to see her friend's sad faces.
"This is terrible!" cried out Audrey. Suddenly a loud knock was heard against her door.
"Queenscove, Mithros you better be alive inside there!" the voice was unmistaken ably her training masters.
Jzet rushed to the door trailed by Cole and Audrey while Kearney still stared blankly into the crackling fire. She opened it up quickly and there was the Rattler. He looked older than usual the lines on his face deeper and his hair looked slightly greyer.
"Mithros, Queenscove you gave me quite a scare." said the training master sternly. "Where in Mithros's name have you been all this time?" Jzet took a deep breath and then began telling the story about the Fitrakis and Gosha. When she was done the training master looked at her with his face blank and unreadable.
"I would say good job Queenscove, but you scared me half out of my mind. So next time listen to orders and I want you to report one bell to the armory next week." said the Rattler his face still unreadable. "And Page Kearney," Jzet looked over at Kearney who glanced up his eyes still glossy from his tears. "Come with me boy we need to talk."
After Kearney and the Rattler left Jzet took a seat next to the fire place followed by Cole and Audrey who sat on the floor side-by-side. Jzet could see Audrey's alarmed look on her face as Cole sat down next to her and did her best to hold back her laughter.
"I feel so bad for Kearney." said Cole keeping his eyes on the crackling fire that made Jzet shift uncomfortably.
"It's all my fault guys if I hadn't gotten myself injured in the forest Eoin would be still alive," she said bitterly and paused. "The king and queen would be still alive. Many innocent men would be alive."
"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself Jzet." Audrey put in. "Without you my brother might have died. Michael and I are in your debt along with my family." Jzet just nodded and put her head in her hands. She just hated herself so much. She wished that moment the Fitrakis had left her in the street to bleed to death. In Jzet's opinion that's what she deserved.
"I just wish everything would have been different." she whispered under her breath.
Tortall was hard hit on the death of their king and queen and the almost destruction of their capital. Many soldiers ended up dieing in the battle, along with some knights, squires, and civilians.
A day after the battle Jzet and Rae ended up being honored for killing the Fitrakis that slaughtered Tortall's rulers to Jzet's complete repulsion. They were given some kind of medal made out of a precious stone by Prince Roald (who was to be made king two days after his parent's funeral). Jzet received it with remorse knowing she didn't deserve anything, but death for not warning the kingdom of the Carthakians that were coming. To make things worse Rae said absolutely nothing to her the whole ceremony making more upset than she already was.
A week after the mess was cleaned up King Jonathan IV and Queen Thayet was laid to rest on the palace grounds. Jzet and her fellow pages attended the funeral. But nobody was more distressed than Jzet besides Prince Jonathan the V. She felt completely guilty and responsible for their terrible deaths.
At the funeral Jzet saw Sir Alanna otherwise known as the lioness. She watched the lioness weep into her husband, Baron George Cooper's shoulder. This tore Jzet apart knowing that her hero, the lioness was so sad over the king's death and it was all her fault.
The next week passed with the coronation of King Roald and Queen Shinkonami and Eoin's funeral. Jzet mostlyspent it locked away in her room more depressed than ever. Her friends tried to cheer her up, but failed miserably. Life was unbearable for the fifteen year old.
It was the last night before their training started up again and Jzet decided to take a walk around the palace after she had finished her last night of punishment work. She walked until she found herself sitting on a bench in the middle of the gardens.
She looked up into the night sky to see the moon and stars covered by grey clouds. Everything seemed to be so peaceful even though her life was like a storm.
I don't deserve to be sitting here alive after all these innocent people died. She thought sighing. This is complete torture.
Suddenly Jzet heard soft footsteps on the ground. She froze and pulled her dagger out of its sheath.
"I thought I would find you out here." Jzet still couldn't see the figure in the dark making her tremble.
"Who-who is it?" Jzet asked stuttering from the cold and fear. She didn't know why she was so afraid.
"Just me," a warm body sat down next to her swiftly on the bench. Jzet was confused, it was Michael.
"What are you doing out here Michael?" she asked softly. "Why aren't you inside with your friends?"
"You look so alone." he said.
"What if I like being alone?" she asked curtly.
"No it's not that Jzet, Audrey's scared for you, Cole's scared for you, Kearney scared for you, the Prince is scared for you, even I'm scared for you." he said sounding helpless.
"There's nothing wrong." said Jzet. "I don't understand why you're all scared."
"You locked yourself in your room for a week." he said frankly. "Your making us worried sick. What's wrong?"
Jzet sighed she could feel her heart crumbling and her emotions being smashed up into a little ball. She felt like crying, but just couldn't.
"It's all my fault." she said firmly. "I caused all this death. If I wasn't so weak none of this would have ever happened."
"No you didn't." said Michael. "That was just their fate. Nothing you could have done would have saved them. You saved many lives yourself. You saved the people in Corus from a horrible death from the Fitrakis, you saved your father, and you even saved me. You did a lot for this kingdom Jzet. And believe me you're not weak. You're the toughest girl I know." He grabbed her hand making her quiver.
"No I'm not." she said turning away from him. "I'm a disgrace."
"Jzet listen if you're going to keep brooding over this you'll be torn apart along with your friends and family members." he said making his grip tighter on her hand until it began to hurt. "Jzet you're tearing me apart."
"Oh Michael I just can't do this," she cried watching helplessly as her Yamani mask fell apart and wet tears began to fall from her eyes. She tried to yank her hand free of his, but couldn't.
"Why are you doing this to me?" she whispered.
"Because I care about you and I hate to see you like this." he said in a matter of fact tone. "I don't know I think I might even love you." Jzet eye brows rose so high they touched her hairline.
"L-love m-me," she stuttered. "Michael I can't. This isn't right." She tried again to escape, but her legs wouldn't move. She was frozen on the bench and watched in dismay as Michael's lips touched hers.
"That wasn't so bad was it?" he asked. Jzet was so taken aback she couldn't answer.
"Michael you just- we just-" she was truly lost for words.
"Well was it?"
"No it was just what I needed."
poor Jzet she's caught up in an emotional storm...
so review if you know what's good for you...
I'll repost when I get 10 reviews..
but until then good night new york..
and please pray for the victims of huricane katrina... it just tears up my heart to see them suffer so much...
respectfully yours,
caiti
P.S. If you haven't noticed all my chapter titles are song lyrics.. isn't that cool?
P.S.S. looking for a beta.. if you're intrested let me know...