A/N: Here we go again. I mean really, how much more can I shove down your throats? Which just shows how awesome you are because I would have kicked me by now but I like me so I'm not gonna do that. Plus you give such lovely reviews and who am I to tell you not to? Exactly.
Merle.
If you asked Daryl why Merle was in his house when he came home from a quick errand the morning of Maggie and Glenn's wedding he would have said he had no idea what he could possibly be doing. And that would be true. But in all the scenarios he came up with, the one he walked in on was not one he would have imagined. Ever.
"Thanks sugarpuss!" is the first thing he heard when he opened the door. Sugarpuss? It's bad enough that word was used, it was worse when he realized Beth is the one who used it.
"No problem blondie," he hears Merle say as he catches his eye. Merle just shrugged at him like he has no idea what's going on. Daryl doesn't believe that for a second. If Beth is doing something, there's a reason.
"Why are you here?"
"No idea, Barbie in there called me and asked me to show up. Promised me beer so I said why not?" Merle told him, taking a seat on the couch.
"Huh."
"Huh, what?"
"I don't know yet," he told his brother as he walked back to the bedroom where Beth would be getting ready to leave for the wedding.
When he came across here in the bedroom she had her hair in a towel with Waffles passed out on the bed (their bed, not his own because he never stood a chance against two adorable big eyed pouting faces in the first place) and nothing but a robe on.
"Why is Merle here?"
"Oh, I needed someone to watch Waffles while we're at the wedding."
"You need someone to babysit the dog?"
"Yes."
"He's a dog."
"I know."
"Dogs don't need babysitters."
"We're going to be gone all day, he's too young to be alone that long."
"But he's a dog."
"I still know that."
"You expect Merle to watch the dog?"
"Planned on it."
"You know he's going to give you shit for it, right?"
"Yeah, that's what the beer is for."
"Mmhmm. Is there a reason you're calling him Sugarpuss as well?"
"Oh, that. I decided every time he refuses to use my name I'm going to refuse to use his. I'm running out of names though already."
"Hmm."
If he had more to say he forgot it because she dropped her robe and all his attention to the naked display in front of him. The unbearably beautiful naked display. He stood there silent, just watching for a moment before Beth caught on and turned around with a raised eyebrow giving him a questioning look.
"What are you doing?"
"Enjoying the view?"
"You need to get dressed you know."
"You can't expect me to do anything while you're standing there naked."
"You're hopeless."
"You're beautiful."
"Flattery won't get you out of getting dressed, Daryl."
"Damn."
0))oOo((0
Watching Beth tell Merle he was there to watch Waffles was probably the most entertaining thing he had seen in weeks. Maybe even months. There was no possible way he was going to get in the middle of this. It was Beth's idea and Merle showed up without asking questions. Daryl had learned months ago that agreeing with Beth is akin to selling your soul because even if you think it's a bad idea there isn't a force on earth big enough to stop you from following through once she sets her big blue eyes and light up a room smile on you. Men, women, children, even animals. They all lack the ability to say no to her. In fact, he's not sure she knows what the actual definition of 'no' means. He knows he's said it to her. He's never followed through with it, but he's definitely said it.
"Wait, you want me to sit around your house to watch your dog?"
"Mmhmm."
"Why?"
"Because he's too young to be alone all day."
"He's a dog."
"No, he's a puppy and he needs to be watched since we'll be gone for hours."
"He's a dog, girlie."
"He's a puppy, honeybear."
Daryl couldn't help the snort of laughter that escaped him at their exchange. He silently regretted that one two sets of eyes turned on him. Oh no, he didn't want any part of their conversation. He wasn't going to go against Beth and he wasn't going to openly agree with Merle. Getting on the bad side of the person that provides you sex is never a good idea. And while he may not be a genius, he's not stupid either.
"You're okay with me sitting here for hours just to watch the damn dog you used as a bribe to get sugar lips here to move in here with you?"
"It ain't my fault you agreed to help her before you found out what she wanted. That's on you."
"He's a dog."
"You agreed."
"This is ridiculous."
He's not sure how long Merle could have stood there and argued with them but knowing Merle, it could have been for hours and they had somewhere they needed to be. He tuned them both out while standing by the door waiting for Beth and the last thing he heard before they left was Merle muttering,"She made a fucking emergency list. For a dog."
0))oOo((0
He wished someone would have told him that with Beth and Rick being in the wedding that he would have ended up with Judith the majority of the time. Carl was off flirting with some poor unsuspecting girl; well, trying to flirt. And with Carol going back and forth dealing with the flowers and helping with getting the reception ready, he was pretty much on his own. Having Judith was not the problem. No, it was her eating the all the flower petals she could get her chubby little hands on that was the issue. No matter what he did, she found a flower to rip apart and stuff in her mouth. Being killed by Rick because he let his daughter get poisoned was not how he intended to go out at all. Death by sex with Beth? That was the dream. He could even handle one of the Greene family members taking him out because he thinks they might know about the depraved thoughts he has about their golden girl and one day he's sure one of them is going to snap. But having a cause of death be because a toddler bested him and ate some sort of deadly flower so her daddy had to go and kill him? That's not part of the plan. At all.
When he finally catches up to Carol his nerves are shot and he swears he will never go near another flower in what will probably be his shortened life.
"Carol!"
"What Daryl?"
"How toxic are these flowers?"
"Are you planning on eating them or something?"
"No, but Judy already is and I'd like to make sure I have a head start once Rick realizes I've let his daughter poison herself because she discovered a taste for flowers!"
He's not pleased when she starts laughing at him as she takes Judith from him and he's definitely not pleased when Judith starts to giggle because Carol is. Mocking a dead man walking is just wrong.
"Not helpful Carol."
"Daryl, there are tons of kids here, do you really think I would let anything that could harm them be here right now?"
"Well, how the hell am I supposed to know that?"
"Language! And I always thought you had common sense Daryl."
"Between you, Beth, and Merle I lost my sense long ago."
"You'll survive."
"Maybe," he mutters as he takes Judy back and then as he takes in the toddlers face that is already smeared with...something and softly tells her, "Then again, maybe not."
0))oOo((0
He's sure the wedding was beautiful, he's sure the cake was delicious, he's even sure that the newlyweds were the happiest he's ever seen them. Those are the assumptions he made because the only thing he knew for fact was he couldn't take his eyes off of Beth. She was fucking glowing. The dress was some sort of light yellow strapless dress that made her look like the ray of sunshine she is. If he thought about words to describe her he just knows Merle and Rick would somehow know and never let him live it down. But there it was, slapping him in the face, words like luminous and magnificent and breathtaking. Although he's pretty sure he learned luminous from one of Beth's girly movies. So, even though he hates them at least he's gaining knowledge. Well, that and he gets to have his hands all over his girl while watching them.
He wants to say he knows what the first song was and that he knows when they presented the new Mr. and Mrs. Rhee but he can't. What he can remember is a blur of yellow and smooth skin as he was pulled into a bathroom and all his senses were invaded. Before he can figure out what's going on he feels Beth's small hands grabbing at his belt and yanking on his pants and hands touching him as he feels the warmth of her mouth wrapping around him as she bobs her head taking him deeper with each pass he can't help but let a groan out as he tries to avoid sticking his hands in her hair and messing it up because even though she's sexy as hell with hair that says "I've just been fucked" presenting that hair to a room full of her family members is probably a bad idea. A really fucking tempting bad idea because no one should be that good with their mouth knowing that at any moment someone could want the bathroom and all he really wants to do is ram his hips into her face and write letters and send money to whoever or whatever taught her the thing with her tongue that she's doing. Some sort of swirly, wet, and heavenly thing that makes him forget what day of the week it is. And his name. And sometimes, like right now, if he's even still alive because there honestly can't be a better feeling and if there is a heaven he's sure he's already got there and his brain just hasn't caught up yet.
He isn't sure how much time has passed before he feels warm and tight and tingling and he's definitely trying to keep quiet but failing as he finishes hard into her mouth and all he wants is to lie down and have his hands all over her body but she's standing up and fixing her crooked hair that he failed to keep his hands out of by the end and and straightening her dress while he's standing there slightly incoherent as she starts fixing his pants and belt and telling him they need to get back. He must look confused because she can't hold back a laugh and asks him with a mischievous grin, "What?"
"Don't you want…?"
"Don't worry, you'll just owe me," she says to him as she flounces out the door walking back to the reception with swollen lips and flushed cheeks and a smile on her face.
He thinks owing Beth might just be the best debt he's ever had.
0))oOo((0
By the time the newlyweds are gone and the party is over he is dead tired and he's had cake shoved up his nose by Judith and some teenage girl Beth forced him to dance with stepped all over his feet and he has a new appreciation for the dedication women have to high heels. He spent the day in flat dress shoes and he now all he wants to is rip his feet off and make the world feel like he's walking on marshmallows because hard surfaces are simply torture.
When they finally make it home they're both 10 minutes from passing out in their clothes when they spot it. The house is quiet. Too quiet for Merle. Too quiet for a puppy who gets excited at the sound of any vehicle pulling up. Just too quiet.
Making their way into the living room they see the glow of the turned down TV and hear a pair of light snores floating from the cushions. And if they stand there silently laughing at the spectacle and if Daryl hands Beth his phone so she can take pictures of Merle passed out with a passed out belly up Waffles in his arms,well, who can blame them?
Having one up on Merle is always a good idea.