Chapter X

"What's going on here?" Tommy's familiar voice suddenly filled the room, catching us both by surprise. I saw Aida was lost for words so I knew I had to pitch in.

"Nothing special, just some girl talk" I gave Aida a comforting smile to let her know I had her back.

"I should go to bed, good night" and she made her way out of the kitchen. Leaving Tommy and me alone. Tommy just stared at me as he leaned on the doorway.

"The others haven't arrived yet?" I broke the silence

"They went to the Garrison"

"Oh, are you joining them too?" Tommy looked at me unbothered but it was almost as he was asking why it would be any of my business. "I am asking to know if I should stay a little longer to watch the kids or if I can leave"

"You can go" his cold tone felt like a knife in the chest. I had to swallow the pain before I could get off my chair. He clearly didn't want me here. I picked up cup and walked to the sink to place it in there. I should ask. I deserve an explanation. So I tried to gather all my confidence and turned around.

"Why are you doing this to me" I tried to say it with confidence but my voice trembled and I sounded like a scared little mouse.

"Do what?" his voice still as cold as ice.

"Pretend like there is nothing between the two of us" I carefully took a step forward. But I knew he could see I was trembling. It was not as if I was scared for what his reply might be but I just felt so hurt by the fact on how he treated me.

"Because there is nothing going on between the two of us" there it was. The slap in the face. I gasped at his reply and he didn't expect that as a response. And he pushed himself from the doorway so he could stand up straight.

"You and I both know that's a lie" I took a moment to choose my words wisely and continued "What we had was so pure and special, that even you cannot deny it. That's why I still believe in us. That is why I still believe in you." I had taken several steps forward so I was standing right in front of him. Adrenaline rushing through my body. By being so close to him I just wanted to touch his hand with mine but I knew I shouldn't push my boundaries any further "That's why I kept writing to you, even without an answer back. I still love you Thomas Shelby, even if you don't love me anymore."

My eyes had filled with tears and I bit the inside of mouth. Did I push it too far? No. I had to tell him. I had to try and save us.

"I am not the man you once knew" he said after he let out a big sigh, as if I was an inconvenience. yes, yes you are, I thought to myself. I started to get mad on how easily had given up on me.

"So you think I am the same naïve girl from four years ago? Well you are wrong Thomas. I know you have been through four years of absolute hell but please don't be so ignorant by thinking that this war has left us unchanged". My temper had gotten out of hand, we both could feel it.

"It's getting late, you should go home" Tommy said and I could feel my emotions changing from anger to hurt again.

"Please, don't do this to me." I almost begged. "If you do this to me now there is no turning back" An ultimatum. I hated ultimatums, they only led to bad things. But I had no other choice but to give him one.

"Goodnight Ms. Brown"

My heart sank into my stomach, and there was nothing I could do or say. So I just nodded and stormed out of the house. I couldn't show him how much he affected me, I wouldn't do him that curtesy. So I ran to the place I always ran to when wanting to be let alone. Our safe place by the canal. When I reached it I was completely out of breath, and everything was pitch black expect for the reflection of the moon on the water of the canal.

I let out a scream as loud as I could, I screamed so loud my lungs hurt. Then I started crying as I fell down on my knees by the water. My heart felt as if my blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. My chest felt as if it were on fire and every inch of my skin ached. Regret filled my mind as tears rolled down my cheeks and I dug my nails deep in my thighs. Why?

The rest of the night was a blur for me, I came home late at night. My father was luckily asleep and I could just go to bed immediately. I woke up late in the afternoon and every muscle in my body was sore. I was a mess.

Meanwhile in the Garrison:

"What the kids need, is a mum" John took a deep breath and continued "So that's why I am getting married"

Tommy rolled his eyes, he didn't like where this conversation was going. Everyone noticed how amazing Eleanor was with John's children.

"Does this poor girl know you're going to marry her or are you gonna spring it on her all of the sudden?" Pol teased him.

"I have already proposed, and she said yes!" Tommy reached for his cigarettes as fast as he could. He needed to calm his nerves.

"who is it?" Polly almost spitted out as she glanced at Tommy in concern. She was thinking the same.

"Lizzie Stark"

Relief filled the room and soon was followed by laughter but that also ended quickly because they saw how serious John was about it.

"John, Lizzie Stark is a strong woman and I'm sure she provides a fine service for her customers - " Pol said but John didn't let her finish.

"I won't… hear the word!" John said in a threatening voice, he had never used this voice towards his family. So everyone looked at him in disbelief "Understand? Do not use that word."

"What word is that John?" Tommy asked, knowing well enough what it was but ready to push his brother to the edge. He knew Lizzie Stark all too well.

"You know what word it is."

"Everybody bloody knows," Arthur laughed.

"Everybody, can go to hell," John snapped back. And Tommy sighed.

"Whore?" Tommy said. "That word? Or… prostitute - how about that one?"

"Right," John said, his anger was visibly getting out of control. "I want it known that if anyone calls her a whore again, I will push the barrel of my revolver down their throats, and blow the word back down into their hearts."

"Men and their cocks never cease to amaze me," Pol exclaimed. "John, Lizzie Stark's never done a day's work vertical."

"She's changed! All right! People change!" he slammed his hand down onto the table. "Like with religion!"

"So Lizzie Stark's got religion?"

"No, no, she hasn't got religion. But she loves me…" he looked around at the room for support from his family. "Now listen, Tommy. I won't do it without your blessing. But of all the people in the world, I want you to see it as brave."

"It's brave, alright," Arthur said.

"Brave is… going where no man has gone before," Polly began and struggled to suppress her giggle. "And with Lizzie Stark, John, that is not what you'll be doing."

Arthur choked on his drink by Polly's comment.

"Tommy, she has had a hard life. I need someone, the kids need someone-"

"That's why I thought you were going to mention Eleanor" Arthur interrupted him. Both Polly and Tommy glanced at him with anger. They didn't want John getting any ideas even if they hated his engagement with Lizzie.

"Eleanor?" John repeated the question to himself.

"I will think about it" Tommy quickly said to John, he didn't want him thinking about Eleanor in that way. But one thing he knew for certain; he wasn't going to let him marry Lizzie either.

"Tommy! We have been done over!"

Eleanor's POV

It had been two weeks since Tommy had crushed my heart, I haven't felt anything since that night. I was completely numb. I did go for dinner at the Shelby's a couple of times I couldn't just disappear from all of their lives just because Tommy decided to disappear from mine. He was never home when I was there and it was a relief. I guess Polly warned him when I planned to visit.

"Hi, Eleanor, do you have a moment" Aida said when I met her gaze at the counter.

"Of course Aida, Edward can you take over for a moment." I motioned her to sit at one of the tables in the bakery but she just looked at me with scared eyes.

"Perhaps somewhere more private?"

"Oh, yes of course ! Follow me" I led her through the kitchen where she greeted my father and I took her to a backroom where we kept our supplies. I closed the door behind me so my father would get the hint.

"What's wrong Aida?" I put my hand on her shoulder as comfort.

"I am pregnant Eleanor" she said and she immediately busted out in tears. I gasped by the unexpected news. She was only 18. Not to forget that Tommy hated the father of her child.

"How far along do you think you are?"

"Three months I think, I can't even hide it anymore. I just started showing. She motioned to her stomach, tears streaming down her face.

"Okay, Aida please calm down. Stress is not good for the baby, we will take care of this together okay? Did you tell Pol?" she shook her head no.

"Please Eleanor I want to keep it and I know they want me to get rid of it. Oh God they are going to kill Freddie!"

"No, no calm down, nothing of the sort will happen. I will make sure of that! We need to tell Polly though. And then we'll figure out how to tell Thomas" I pulled her in a tight hug and hushed her to stop crying. When I was able to calm her down we got out of the backroom.

"Father, there are some things I need to care off. Is it all right if I take the day off?"

"Go ahead love. We'll manage" he saw that Aida was in distress but he knew it was better for him to ask questions when she wasn't around.

"Stupid girl! How could you let this happen!" Polly screamed at Aida but she wasn't finished yet. "Do you really think he isn't going to cut him into pieces and serve him to the dogs? Aida I thought you were smarter than this!"

I tried to calm them both down. "He can't kill the father of her child, we know Tommy could do a lot of stuff but he would never do that"

"Not if there is no child left" Polly hissed

"Polly!" I snapped back. I knew she didn't mean it like that because Polly loved children. Especially after what happened to her own.

"Aida why don't you go upstairs and rest, Pol and I will think of a way to tell Thomas"

Polly raised her eyebrow at me and when Aida left the room she started "Pol and I? I am sorry love but you're stepping the line here, this is family business." I knew what that meant. She knew about Tommy and me, and had taken Tommy his side as was to be expected.

"I know Polly but if I tell him, he can point his anger towards me. He already hates me. After I tell him he will come to you for reason. Because if you break the news to him he will just direct his anger towards you and go and kill Freddie."

"You have a point" she said after giving it some thought. "But do you really want something like this coming between the two of you? He forgives his family"

"There is nothing left between us anymore Pol, I am sure you know. So I could at least use it to my benefit" saying the words out loud made my stomach turn but it was the truth. Polly nodded in consent and within five minutes I found myself standing in front of the betting shop. I took a minute to calm myself. I knew he was going to yell at me but that didn't make it easier.

I walked in the betting shop for the first time in my life and people were running around yelling at each other from across the room. I made my way to the door which had Tommy's name on it and knocked on it before entering.