Hi, hello. I'm back. Work has been kicking my ass. So unfortuantely, everything suffered, my writing, my social life, and even my relationships. But for right now, I'm back. We'll see if that changes.

After a few hours, Edward and I were arguing.

Over stupid crap.

I wasn't listening to him, he wasn't listening to me.

Just two voices screaming at each other, trying to be louder than the other.

Tom came back and yelled at us to keep it down, wondering what in tar nation we were so fired up about.

To be honest, I wasn't sure either.

"You're being stupid!"

"Well, you're an idiot!"

"Why are you so upset?"

"Because we're fools!"

It wasn't even creative insults.

But then, we were being released, on account of our arguing being a racket to everyone else.

Tom apologized for keeping us, but wanted to teach a lesson. He said this and then gave Edward a long look, which Edward replied with a tight nod.

Hm.

So there we were, walking back to the bar to get the car. We were on opposite sides of the road, not speaking, both of us in our own worlds.

Pissed off at each other.

But I wasn't focused on that.

I was focusing on the smell of Forks.

The crisp, pine-y, home-like scent of Forks.

I inhaled deeply, trying to commit it to memory.

I wish I could put the smell in a jar and open it a bit on special occasions, to smell the aroma of my childhood.

I watched the stars, trying to take a mental picture of the clear skies, the pine trees, the mountains in the distance. I forgot how much I liked cloudy, overcast Forks.

I inhaled again.

There weren't any cars on the road, the only lights from random houses placed in sporadic spots.

I tried to figure out what Edward was thinking.

I shrugged when I couldn't figured it out and inhaled again as I watched the stars.

"Would you knock the fuck off?" Edward hissed.

I rolled my eyes and stayed silent, what a dramatic little boy.

He was pissed because we had another "Come to Jesus" meeting; I asked him what he was going to do after this.

This.

The thing between him and I.

The thing.

And suddenly, Edward was pissed off, screaming and fighting with me.

I wasn't sure where I had gone wrong.

Maybe it was a musician thing.

Or maybe it was just an Edward thing.

I inhaled again not thinking.

"JESUS!"

I quickened my pace.

And then it hit me.

Wasn't I the one who was always trying to make Edward silent, not vice versa?

The epiphany hit me like a wave and I couldn't help the giggle that passed my lips.

I giggled loud.

I even snorted.

"And what the hell is so funny?"

"Nothing," I smiled to myself.

The bars' lights were in front of us now.

I started to run to the car, happy to have the whole night behind us.

Edward unlocked the car and we both got in, he called the plane, telling them we'd be on our way back to go back home.

Home.

I had once decided that Jake was my home, when I was young and naïve and stupid.

And once upon a time it had been wherever Charlie and Renee were, that was my home.

Now, home was the place I could go to and call a refuge.

That place, was a studio apartment I'd be moving into when I got back to Jake's.

Edward stayed quiet on the drive as I watched the passing lights and the trees float by.

The quiet and darkness made my eyes feel heavy, I leaned against the window as tiredness started to swallow me whole.

When I woke up, we were pulling up to the airport, our plane awaiting us.

I got out of the car and walked straight in, not even making sure Edward got my bag or if I needed to do anything. I sat down on a comfy, leather chair and rested my head against the walls of the plane.

I didn't want to know what time it was, I didn't want to know how long we had until we touched down again, all I wanted was to get home.

I felt an urge to get home.

Edward walked in and sat down on the other side of the plane, the pilot coming on and stating we were taking off.

"Where's Lee?" I asked, still groggy.

"She's staying here with Emmett, they are flying back together sometime next week. She's here to meet his parents."

"I sure hope he doesn't have parents like us," I chided.

Edward nodded, a slight smile on his face.

"Are you done being angry?"

"I'm not angry."

"Well, obviously you're still pissed off at me."

"It's nothing."

"I'm not going to play that game with you right now."

"What game?"

"The game where you say, 'nothing is wrong.' And then I say, 'no, tell me.' And then it's back and forth about how nothing is wrong when really, there is. That game."

"Oh," was all he said.

"Edward," I warned. He ran his fingers through it.

I walked over and sat on his lap, running my fingers through his locks.

Still smooth and soft, thick and full.

Mmmmm.

"Just tell me."

"You know, you're almost nice when you are tired."

"Don't make me slap you."

"And that's why I said, 'almost'."

"Edward!" I screamed. "Stop playing games. Just tell me what the fuck you are thinking."

"Fine," Edward said pushing me off, I stumbled to my feet. "I'm scared of what's going to happen after we get back. You're dying. You're dying! I'm afraid to hold you, I'm afraid to touch you, I'm afraid to lose you. This is what you did to me. YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU! And you think that after we get back we go on with our lives like normal people but I can't do that. I rarely have relationships, but nothing like what I want to have with you. And then that police-guy Tom lectures me on hurting you, like you don't have to worry about Cancer and that the only thing that can harm you is me, some random musician you met on a train by a chance of fate. So, what's bothering me? The fact that I'm in love with a dying girl and I can't be with you."

He loved me.

But that wasn't the part I was focused on.

"I can't be with you."

He was right, he couldn't be with me. I couldn't ask him to go through that. Just like I couldn't ask Mom, Dad, or even Jake to go through it anymore.

He was right.

I love you, too.

But you're going to hate me for this.

"Well Edward, you won't have to worry about it when we step off this plane, I will be gone and out of your life."

The look on his face broke me.

Right in the middle, I felt the cracking, the crumbling of the center of my soul.

He stayed quiet and walked away towards the back of the plane, into a private room.

I went back to my seat, pulled out my iPod, and listened.

Listened for the music to take me away from this spot in time and to another place.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the music to take me.

No tears came.

No sobbing.

Just guilt.

Extreme guilt.

The kind that swallows your chest and beats on your heart like a drum.

The cabin lights were dimmed, putting me in darkness, making sleep even easier to come.

When I woke, it was bright outside, Edward was sleeping on the couch and my iPod was wrapped up and put back in my bag.

The guilt still remained.

The pilot announced we had landed and I started getting up, getting my things together.

"Edward," I whispered.

"Edward," I cleared my voice.

"Edward!" I shook him. His surprise took me by surprise as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly to him. He finally realized what he had done and let go as I got up and grabbed my stuff. He shook his head, waking himself up, and then grabbed his stuff as we walked off the plane.

Home.

Before I could stop myself, lists were being made in my head of all the things I needed to do.

Edward and I walked to the parking lot, keeping silent.

I waved a taxi down, loaded my stuff into it, and turned back to Edward.

"It's been nice knowing you."

Before I could stop myself I was grabbing onto his leather jacket and pulling him one last time.

"That was a shitty thing to say," I whispered as I pressed my lips onto his. The heat warmed my body up one last time.

One last time.

His arms clutched on to my body one last time.

One last time.

His stubble on his chin tickled me one last time.

One last time.

And before I could stop time, the kiss was over and I was sliding into the taxi, nodding at him goodbye.

The taxi pulled out but I stayed on him.

His mouth was pursed and his eyebrows knitted together.

He seemed to be getting smaller and soon he was nowhere in my vision.

He was gone, forever.

"Aw, young love," the driver spoke as he took a left.

"Always runs its course, huh?" I spoke as I watched the familiar landmarks pass by.

"Or it can run forever," he shrugged.

"One in a million," I replied.

"Whose to say you aren't that one?"

I stayed silent.

When he pulled up to the curb, I gave him money, and walked up to the door, key in my hand, figuring out that four days ago I wouldn't have even guessed that my life could have been this affected.

I put the key in the lock and walked in.

The smell was the same, the look was the same. Everything was the same.

It was a disappointment.

Jake rounded the corner, crushing into me, gasping at the sight of me.

"Bella!" he exclaimed.

I hugged him back and stayed quiet.

"How are you? What did the doctor say?"

"Did you pack my stuff?" I asked as I saw boxes stacked up.

"I didn't want to make this more awkward than it needed to be. If this is your decision, then I accept it."

Only Jake would make breaking up easier.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine…I guess I've just changed."

A smile overtook my face.

"Who is it?"

"Who is who?"

"Who is the person that affected you? Who changed you?"

"Edward, his name was Edward."

"Was?"

"Is."

"So you move on just as fast as I do, eh?"

"I think we moved on a long time ago, you and I are better friends."

"Yeah…we are," Jake agreed.

And I could tell he genuinely did.

"So, what'd the doctor say?"

"He said—"

And that's when everything went black.