A/N: HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS! I'm blown away by the response I got on my last chapter! You guys are so great! This is another semi-short chapter, but I was having trouble writing a five thousand word chapter, so I stuck with four. But I'm hoping I'll have some better stuff tomorrow! I hope you like this. Mary Margaret and Emma get into a fight, and Emma makes a startling discovery about herself. I hope you like it! R&R
Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT.
I wake up to a warm presents all around me, and I freeze, panicking. My heart starts to race, and I don't remember who could be this close to me. I don't dare move though. Images from last night come rushing back, and I remember that I put myself in this position. Of course I did. It was a moment of weakness, one that I'm not entirely proud of. Mostly because I'm realizing how nice it is to have a mom around me all the time, although it can be a burden too.
I shift a little, trying to get in a more comfortable position. A gentle pull on my hair makes me go still. Fingers gently make their way from my scalp to the tips of my blonde hair. I close my eyes, a soft smile playing at the corners of my mouth. I didn't realize how much I really wanted all of this when I was little. Or even before I realized who my parents are. I had missed all these loving touches and sweet moments. But, in missing them, I realized just how much I couldn't have them. I couldn't have someone telling me they love me because, every time, I could tell they were lying.
After a few seconds of letting myself be comforted by the fingers playing with my hair, I groan, pulling away, pretending to have been asleep. I rub my eyes and yawn, stretching in the process. Sitting up, I look over at Mary Margaret, observing the way her eyes are bright and aware. I feign confusion at how soft and comforting her eyes appear to be.
"Have you been watching me in my sleep?" I try to sound creeped out, but she shoots back quickly.
"You don't have to ask questions you already know the answer to." Her eyes shine with amusement, and I know she knows I was awake for a few brief seconds before I actually moved. I try to contain the blush that threatens to rush up my cheeks, but I still feel the familiar heat in my face as I look away from her.
I don't know what to say, so I just grumble something about having to get up and check on Mulan and Aurora. I pick up my jacket and throw it on, quickly making my way out from under the tree Mary Margaret and I shared. I look around for Mulan and Aurora, only to find them still sleeping. Mulan has her hand on her weapon and Aurora is cuddled into a little ball, attempting to keep herself warm.
What are they doing still sleeping? Isn't it time to get going? I think about walking over and waking them, but I know they've both had a hard couple of weeks, too. So I let them sleep and go back over to the area that Mary Margaret and I talked last night. I sit and think. I haven't had much time to contemplate anything that's been happening, but when I do, I'm usually moving to do something else.
So I sit, listening to the water about a mile away. I watch as the water laps at the shore and let my thoughts drift. I'm starting to break, and I realize this. My cuts that I put Band-Aids over and forgot about are starting to open back up. It feels like alcohol is being poured over them. All the things that I so desperately wanted as a child, the love and affection from a mother, are starting to resurface, and it hurts. I want to scream in agony, but I manage to hold back, sinking my nails into my crossed arms instead.
I don't understand what makes me feel this way. My parents left me, that's all I used to know. But now, I see that my parents were just trying to protect me. All the time that I spent hating my parents was wasted. All the things I did just to prove that I was lovable, that I could be a good person. Those times were the hardest, because I stopped believing that I could be good enough when I was a teenager. I can't pinpoint the exact time that I realized I wasn't going to cut it for anyone, no matter how hard I tried, but I remember when I realized that my parents weren't coming back. And I remember the times that I told myself that I was always going to be used and replaced. That might be what stings.
Or it could be that I had spent so much time looking for people who didn't even remember who I was. All that time wasted looking, searching desperately for my parents. All the times I thought that they wouldn't make it so hard to look if they really wanted to be found. I was so sure that they didn't want me, but I kept looking. I guess I just wanted to give them a piece of my mind, but something tells me that I just wanted to see them. To meet them, even if I was yelling at them. I wanted to tell them all of my stories just to watch their faces contract in pain at everything that I went through. But now, now I don't want to tell my mom everything that's happened to me. I don't want to hurt her.
I feel a soft hand on my shoulder, and I know who it is immediately. I shrug off Mary Margaret's hand, and she doesn't make another move to touch me. Instead, she sits by me, waiting for anything, or nothing, to be said. I don't look at her, and she doesn't look at me. We just watch the water together, not daring to break the silence. The minutes that pass feel like hours and the hours feel like seconds.
I continue to think, until I stumble upon something that I really don't want to think about. What would Mary Margaret leave me for? What's something that could tare Mary Margaret away from me? Death, of course, but there's something else, and it's on the tip of my tongue. What would Mary Margaret give me up for? Who has the power to replace me, as her daughter, in her life? The thought is there, and it gnaws at me, eating away at my mind while searching for the answer. Then, it dawns on me, and the question is out of my mouth before I have time to think about it.
"Do you want to have another child?" I'm bewildered that I'd even ask such a question, but I keep my face blank, not wanting her to know that I didn't mean to ask. She looks over at me, cautiously, for she seems to know that whatever her answer is, my reaction isn't going to be good. I know that too, but I want her to answer honestly.
"I… I don't know." She seems to stumble on her words, so I cut her off.
"Be honest." She looks over at me, and I can see the fear.
"Yes." She whispers.
"Okay." I nod my head once. I refuse to feel replaced by something that isn't even here, but it creeps in and takes over. I feel myself preparing to be left behind, just like every other time. I begin to close off, not wanting her to know who I am if she's just going to leave me. I set my jaw and prepare to act happy for her. I won't show her how I really feel. I'm going to loose someone important again, and getting emotional with the said person just causes more pain when they leave. Just like Graham. "Good for you." I look over at her and smile.
"Emma…" She sees through my smile. Damn. "It'll give me a second chance at being a good mother." I feel the anger rising in my blood, but I keep it at bay. Or, I try to. You probably would have been a great mother, but I want you to be my mom now. My mom. I don't want to share.
"You'll be a great mother." I say as my face turns into an expression of blankness. My walls are back up, and it won't hurt as much when she does have another kid.
"Emma." Her voice is strong and weak at the same time.
"I'm going to get Mulan and Aurora up." I stand up, not wanting to face her. Not now.
"No. They need to sleep, and I want to talk." She demands. I spin around slowly, holding back my anger. "Think about it," she continues softly, "Don't you want more kids when you find the right person? I'm sure Henry wouldn't feel hurt or abandoned because you didn't get to raise him. He'd be happy that you got your second chance. I'm not asking you to be happy for me, I just want you to understand."
The second she brought up Henry and compared him to me, my anger started boiling in my veins. This anger is different, though. It's consuming my body, taking over completely. I'm breathing heavily, and I'm seeing everything in white, blurry images. I'm shaking, but I don't care. I've never felt this kind of rage before, and, for a brief moment, I wonder where it's coming from, but the thought quickly leaves my mind when I hear Mary Margaret's voice echoing in my head. I'm sure Henry wouldn't feel hurt or abandoned. It plays over and over in my mind, making my anger rise to levels unknown to most people.
"Don't you DARE compare Henry to me!" I snarl. I can no longer see Mary Margaret's face; everything is white. All I know is I feel something heavy in my hand and, much like the vase that I threw across the room when Mary Margaret was being tried, I throw it at the nearest tree, far enough from Mary Margaret that, whatever it is, doesn't hurt her. But she needs to know how angry she made me.
As soon as it came, the anger disappears. My vision clears, and I feel utterly exhausted. I've never been so tired. I feel like everything has been drained from my body. I look over at Mary Margaret trying to ask her what happened, but my head is so heavy that it's hard to turn. When I finally manage a sideways glance in her direction, she's frozen, and there's a horrified expression on her face. I want to ask her what's wrong, but the effort is too much.
I don't really register what's going on, but I know something is causing commotion because I can hear Mulan's voice, though I don't know the words that she's saying. My brain won't comprehend anything that's going on around me. I can barely focus on my breathing. I close my eyes, trying to focus on something, anything, but I find myself laying in something soft. I try to open my eyes, but I don't have the strength, so I just give in to the darkness that quickly approaches.
My eyes flash open to darkness, and I wonder briefly where I am. I try to stand, but I feel extremely weak. I blink hard a couple of times. My body feels dead, but I manage to drift to my feet. I can't see anything in front of me, and that frightens me. What happened? How did I get here? These are the questions rushing through my mind. I hear something rustle in some bushes, I guess, so I turn my head, expecting to see something. Of course I don't. Nothing. Complete darkness. But then, I see it; a bright light.
"Hello?" I blink against the bright light, squinting my green eyes. My strength seems to return to me as I make my way over to the light. I can almost grab ahold of it when I hear a sharp cry. I swivel around, hoping to see who it is. Nothing.
I'm becoming irritated at this darkness, so I grab at the light, hoping I can control it. When I wrap my hand around it, another sharp cry erupts from somewhere behind me, and, this time, I don't have to turn around to know who it is. Mary Margaret.
"Mary Margaret?! Where are you?" I panic, spinning around, hoping to see something, anything that can show me where she might be. The lights suddenly flick on, and I see her, but I stop dead in my tracks.
I see her, Mary Margaret, but she's in a cage. It appears to be a birdcage, but I can't be sure. I try to run over to her, but it seems like with every step I get two steps further behind. I stop after about five minutes of pure sprinting. I bend over, trying to catch my breath, when it comes to me. If I can't run toward her, I'll run away. So I run the other way, and soon, I'm standing next to the cage that holds my mom.
"Emma. Leave. It's a trap." Mary Margaret manages, but I don't think twice about it.
"There's no way I'm leaving you here alone. You promised you wouldn't leave me, so I wouldn't think about leaving you." I say sternly. There's no changing my mind.
"Emma, listen to me. Please." She has tears in her eyes, and I can't seem to clear the tightness in my throat. "You have to leave. I won't let you do this." A tear trickles down her cheek, but I'm frozen. I shake my head, letting her know that I won't leave her. No matter what.
"No. I can't ask you to be there for me and then me not do the same. That's not fair." She gives a light laugh and wipes at the tear streak that the tear left behind.
"You're so stubborn. Just like me. But Emma, this is something that I myself have made up my mind on. Leave me; I'll handle her on my own. I've done it my whole life. It's fine. I'm fine." She tries to coax me out of staying, but I'm just as stubborn as she is.
"Damn it, Mary Margaret, I'm not leaving you." She gives me a look like she's about to plead with me, but stops short. I see a flicker of fear in her eyes when I hear the woman's voice behind me.
"You should listen to your mother more often, Emma." Regina's voice echoes all around me. I turn around, expecting to see her behind me, but I don't. I turn back around to see her in the same cage as my mom. She's wearing a wicked smile, and I know something terrible is about to happen.
"Regina. What do you want?" I spit. Her smile widens, and I can see Mary Margaret composing herself, trying to appear not afraid. I can say that I've honestly never been afraid of Regina. I have no reason to be.
"I want my son back." She says. "So I've come prepared to make a deal."
"I'm sorry, I don't do deals with the devil." I sneer. "Besides, I don't want anything you have." I smirk at her, but when I see her eyes widen, a little fear prickles deep down. I never had a reason to be afraid of Regina, but it appears that I do now. She thinks she has something that I want.
"Ah, but that's where you're wrong I believe. I do have her." She points over at Mary Margaret, and my heart stops. "So, I'll make my deal known to you. Your mothers life for Henry." Oh God. What just happened?
"Don't do it, Emma. It's okay. Henry needs to be safe." I hear Mary Margaret proclaim. At the mention of Henry's name, my anger peaks. I see white and I begin to shake. I feel anger and something that I can't quite name rushing through my veins. Something powerful. My breath comes in shallow gasps, and I seem to be holding something in my hand. I throw it as hard as I can at the Evil Queen. When the white begins to fade, I see a frowning Regina.
"Wrong answer my dearest Emma. Wrong answer." She 'tsk's at me, and I feel the dread rising in me. The cage disappears, but I can't seem to move. I watch as Regina lifts up Mary Margaret by the throat and reaches in her chest. She gives a strangled cry when Regina's hand is ripped from her chest, seemingly holding a heart. My mom's heart.
I let out a strangled cry when my moms body drops to the ground. My legs start to work again and I rush to her side.
"Mary Margaret?! MARY? Answer me! AMSWER ME RIGHT NOW YOU STUBBORN WOMAN!" I scream, trying to get her to hear me. I can, somehow, still feel her heartbeat, so I know it's there. I look over at Regina, tears streaming down my face.
"What have you done?" I cry, not bothering to hide my tears from her. I don't wait for her reply when I hear my mom's voice.
"Emma. I'm sorry." Her voice is a scratchy whisper. It's hardly there, but I can hear what she's apologizing for clearly in my ears. I'm sorry for luring you here. I'm sorry for abandoning you and not being there for you when you needed me. I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you.
"It's okay, just stay with me." I request.
"Okay." A single tear escapes out of the corner of her eye, and I know she's just trying to make me feel better. She closes her eyes, and I let her rest, hoping that she'll get better. I look over at Regina with a new hatred burning in me. She tries to take my kid, but he comes back to life. Though I still hate her for that, it was an accident. This… this was no accident. She's deliberately killing my mother.
"What the hell is wrong with you? What made you this sadistic? How could you kill someone's mother right in front of them?" I snarl. My hatred is reflected in her eyes. But there's something else there.
"Don't forget, sweetie, I'm the one holding your precious mothers heart." She snaps back. I realize she's jealous. She wants a mother that cares for her, but she never had one. She got stuck with Cora. But I don't say anything. She's right, she is holding my moms heart. But she's also holding my friend's heart. My best friend.
"I want a new deal. Put her heart back. I won't give over Henry for anything, but I won't to give up Mary Margaret either. Is there anything else you want?" I plead.
"Sorry, this was the deal." She starts to squeeze the heart in her hand and I hear Mary Margaret gasp. I look down at my mother and see the pain and suffering in her eyes. Her mouth is open in a silent scream, and I being to cry. I've shed a few tears before, but this loss that I'm feeling is like no other. My sobs rack my body as I hunch over the now still figure of my mom.
"NO! Mary Margaret! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE ME! YOU PROMISED!" I scream at her, but I know she's gone. I hear the clicking of heals, and I know she's standing near me. She brings two fingers under my chin and lifts up my head. She tilts her head a little and smiles a truly sadistic smile.
"Welcome to the final battle, Princess." She sneers at me. She begins to fade from my vision; her fingers dropping from their position under my chin. I see my dead mothers body fading from my lap, but I try to clutch onto her and hold her for one last time.
Soon, I'm left alone to wallow in my pain. Just like I didn't want to be. Just like Mary Margaret promised I wouldn't be.
I close my eyes, and, because I'm alone, I cry. I cry for the loss of my mother, for the fact that I'm alone, for Henry. I cry for being stuck in this wretched darkness. I cry until I have nothing left. I cry until sleep takes over my body, but still tears fall from my eyes subconsciously.
I open my eyes, expecting the darkness of the dreaded place that stole my mother from me, but I'm met with a brightness that's terribly uncomfortable. It reminds me of all the times that I woke up with a hangover, but I know that it's probably not likely that I have a hangover.
Once my eyes adjust to the almost unbearable brightness, I look around. Or, I try. I decide it's probably best if I stay lying down if I don't want anyone to know that I am awake. Was I even asleep? I also decide that I'll save my questions for later. I just need to see what's going on right now.
I turn my head to the right and see nothing but a fire that seems like it's just been put out. I turn my head over to the left and see something that makes me concerned. Mary Margaret is sitting by the tree nearest to me, her cheeks tearstained. She's speaking in hushed tones to Mulan and Aurora, though Aurora doesn't look like she fully understands what's going on. Mulan is wearing her regular distressed and annoyed facial expression, but Mary Margaret's face makes me confused. She seems… proud but sad. Concern flashes in her eyes as well as regret.
Her eyes flash over to me quickly, and we briefly make eye contact. As soon as she looks over at me, memories from what happened last flood my mind. I groan in pain as they all flash in my head at once. I try to lift my hand to my head, but my limbs feel entirely to heavy for normal. I wine, wishing I could have the use of my limbs back. Mary Margaret's by my side in a flash. She wears a grave expression, but concern is deep in her eyes.
"Are you alright? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you like I did. I just-" Her rambling hurts my head, so I cut her off.
"I'm fine." I want to suck it up and keep going. "Can you just, umm, help me up? I just need a little push." Mary Margaret lets her eyes slip past mine, and she refuses to make eye contact with me.
"Sorry, but until you get your strength back, we aren't going anywhere." She tries to sound commanding, but I can hear fear creep into her voice. Is she scared to command me to do something? I quirk my eyebrow at her, my eyes showing my amusement, but I don't say anything.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think so. The longer we wait to get back to the people, the more chance Cora has of attacking. I don't want anyone's blood on my hands because of her." My seriousness is back, and I again, ask her to help me up. The fear in her eyes is impossible to ignore, so I don't.
"Okay. What the hell happened that's made you so frightened of me?" I ask, clearly irritated.
"I'm not scared of you!" She insists, but I know she is.
"I know you're lying to me. Tell me the truth. Why. Are. You. Scared?" She looks over at me, clearly contemplating her answer.
"Emma, I'm not scared of you, I'm scared for you." She takes a deep breath when I give her a 'you've got to be joking me' look. "You got really mad at me because I compared Henry to you, and, well, you kinda lost it. You started shaking and sweating. I tried to get your attention, but it was like you couldn't hear me." A tear strolls down her face, and I feel terrible for doing that, though I wish she wouldn't compare me to Henry. He's not like me. I'm screwed up, and he's not. It's a good thing.
"Okay, then why's everyone so freaked out? I'm sorry that I lost it, and that usually doesn't happen, but it did. Not a big deal." I don't understand what the big deal is. Sometimes people just loose it.
"No, Emma. You… you used magic."
A/N: EMMA HAS MAGIC?! Of course she does! :) Well, I hope you guys liked it! 5 reviews and another chapter will be posted ASAP. Again, any suggestions that anyone has, I'd be glad to hear from you. Any revisions you want done, I'd be glad to consider. I'm not mean... I promise. Hope you all liked it! Love you guys!
~ladywolf101