I feel like the drive to the high school is taking way longer that it should. I know I am going well over the speed limit, and there is no way I am going to make it there in time. I try texting and calling Scott, but he doesn't pick up. Finally as I am about to exit my jeep and rush into the school I get a text from him that just says locker room. So I race there. Once I make it through the door, "Dude, we have a major problem."

"Trust me… I know." He tells me that Peter and Derek were there and that Derek just stood by like Peter hadn't killed anyone. He also tells me that Peter made him see things from his memories. From the fire, his recovery, how he killed all those people. How that is even possible is beyond me. But maybe that is why Derek went with him willingly. I wonder what he showed Derek. It would also make sense, because they didn't speak at all. Unless it was so low that I couldn't hear. I don't know what to think anymore. Peter wants Scott for his pack and the way it seems, he already has Derek. Oh, and the Argents think that Jackson is the second Beta.

I drop Scott off at his house, and then go home myself. My dad isn't there so I assume he had to go into work, and I am thankful for that. I don't think I could stand to have that conversation right now. I hate it when I disappoint him. My thoughts are so all over the place that by the time I am in my room and I have stripped down to my boxer-briefs, the lights are off, and I don't notice the window opening. But then I feel a draft, and I turn around to find Derek there. It is a surprise so I jump out of bed and then I realize that I am half naked, and I quickly grab a shirt off the floor and throw it on and hop back under the covers. It takes me a minute to realize that I am wearing Derek's shirt from when he changed earlier, but I am not taking it off now, even though I probably should.

"What are you doing here?" There is a bite of venom in my voice. I can't help but feel a bit betrayed. The whole time I was scrambling around he stood stoically in silence. And when I finally rest in bed he just raises and eyebrow at me. But after I ask him that I can see his shoulders slump and his whole posture changes. He looks defeated. He looks tired. I motion for him to sit down. At first I thought he would go for the chair at my desk, but then he sits on my bed with his back to me.

I have read through that book enough times to know that a wolf would never willingly turn their back on anyone, not unless they trust that person. That hits me like a sledgehammer. Derek trusts me. Derek trusts ME. Why does Derek trust me? I crawl out from under the covers, and move to sit next to him. The urge to console him is pressing and I don't really know why. I have been feeling a lot of weird emotions lately that I can't explain. A hug is not really something I think either one of us would be comfortable with right now, so I just sit close enough for our shoulders and thighs to touch. He tenses at first, but then relaxes and doesn't pull away.

It takes him a few minutes to pull the words together. Normally I would be filling the silence with idle chatter, but I don't feel the need to do that. I don't feel the need to talk incessantly around Derek. Not all the time. "I'm not-" He cuts himself off. His voice sounds hoarse filled with emotion. It is very unexpected. "I'm not with Peter." I was looking at my knees but at that I turn to look at him. His hands are clenching his thighs like he is about to rip through the material of the pants, and claw at himself until he bleeds. And his gaze is focused somewhere on the floor in front of us. "I am not helping him. I am only making it look like I am."

He is quiet for a few minutes after that. I have a few questions buzzing under the surface and I can't really help it if one slips out. I still manage to say it softly though. "What did Peter show you?"

He tenses by me again. This time he doesn't relax all the way like he did before. "Probably the same things he showed Scott." My hand moves of its own volition, it sneaks out and grabs at the hand on his thigh and interlaces our fingers, and squeezes tight. He starts to pull back, but then my other hand is on his as well and I don't let him go. That broken look comes back to his face, and there are tears about to fall. But he keeps them back, and tightens his grip on my hand. It starts to hurt, but not in a bad way. As the pain fades from his face, I can feel the tears start to well up in mine. An unbearable sadness over comes me.

I don't know how long we stay like this. I don't really care how long it is. It feels… right. But all good things must come to an end. He stands and as he walks to the window our hands stretch out and finally my hands drop. "Don't tell Scott. I don't know that I can trust him to keep his mouth shut. And I need Peter to think that I am on his side." I nod, but I am not sure that he sees it. As he is about to step out the window he hears my voice catch in my throat. I clear it. "If you ever need someone to talk to, or not talk to... Or anything. Well you have my number." He doesn't respond and just slips out closing the window behind him. I am not sure that he will take me up on the offer, but it's there.

I crawl back up the bed and get myself under the covers. My arm is up by my face wiping away the tears that have yet to fall and I take a breath, and when I breathe in I smell woods, and hickory smoke, mixed with leather. I am still wearing Derek's shirt. I only hesitate for a second before I bury my face in the shirt and the smell. And it is to that smell that I drift off to sleep.

…

The next day Scott and I are following Jackson around. He is speeding like a demon possessed. My poor jeep can't keep up with him, but we got Scott's super hearing and I think we get there just in time. I am blasting music and making it look like we are just out for a little joy ride. Mr. Argent says that Jackson is having car trouble, but I don't think that it is normal. Who knows what kind of devices a Hunter has. And when we offer to take him to the mechanic shop down the street, I think Jackson gets that staying with Argent would be a bad idea. So he says yes. But then right as Jackson is going to get in the jeep, Mr. Argent starts the car, and leaves. And then Jackson has the gall to get upset. Really!?

"What are you following me now?"

"Yes, you stupide freaking idiot. You almost gave everything away right there!"

"What are you talking about?"

"He thinks you're the second Beta."

"What?"

"He thinks you're me!" and then Scott hits my baby.

"Dude, my jeep!"

"I can hear your heart beating from a mile away, literally! Now he thinks that there's something wrong, and now I have to keep an eye on you so he doesn't kill you too!" he goes to hit my baby again. I pull him back.

"Hey, okay, okay, okay. Maybe it's time to step away from Stiles' jeep."

"You know what; this is your problem, not mine, okay? I didn't say anything which means you're the one that's gonna get me killed, okay? This is your fault!" This time Jackson goes to hit my jeep. Really!

"Can we stop hitting my jeep?" They really start to fight so I step in between them. "Yo, all right, you guys, stop. All right?"

"When they come after you, I won't be able to protect you. I can't protect anyone." He is looking at me and I don't get it.

"Why are you looking at me?"

He doesn't say anything and I am still looking at him questioningly, and there is a moment of silence. Does he really mean that? I mean, I have gone out of my way to help him. Does he really think that he can't protect anyone? It's all I've been doing for the past few months, protecting his furry ass.

"You know what? Now you have to do it. Get me what I want, and I will be fine protecting myself."

"No, you won't! Just trust me, all it does is make things worse."

"Oh, yeah, really? You know, you can hear anything you want and run faster than humanly possible. Sounds like a real hardship, McCall."

"Yeah, I can run really fast now, except half the time, I'm running away from people trying to kill me! And I can hear things like… Like my girlfriend telling people she doesn't trust me anymore right before breaking up with me. I'm not lying to you! It ruins your life."

I want to add more here, like the feel the need to kill others thing. Yeah that has happened a few times now. Mainly of him wanting to kill me. And then there is the fact that and Alpha is out there trying to make Scott part of his pack. And putting him through mental hell. Does he say any of that, no? Only the stuff that has to do with his personal life. I love my best friend, but sometimes he only thinks about the smaller stuff. But I don't, I am always kinda thinking about the bigger picture. It kinda feels like Scott and I are drifting. But I am trying really hard not to, he just keeps pushing. And I don't know how much more of a strain I am going to be able to take.

"It ruined your life. You had all the power in the world, and you didn't know what to do with it. You know what it's actually like? It's like you turned sixteen and someone bought you a Porsche when they should have started you out with a nice little Honda. Me? I drive a Porsche." He speeds away and I take Scott home. I don't think that we need to follow him around anymore. He has me let him out by the preserve though. I think he can sense that is where Allison is. He doesn't say it but I just get this feeling of longing off of him.

After he leaves the car, I drive around for a while. I don't really want to go home, but I don't really have anywhere to go either. I have so much swirling in my head, but I don't feel like any of it is mine. I finally find myself at the cemetery. I don't know how I ended up here, but it will be peaceful, and away from people. I used to come out here at least once every two weeks. I would sit by my mom's grave and talk to her. Tell her what has been going on in my life. But since Scott was bitten, I haven't made it out here. It's been almost three months. There is a lot to get caught up on.

…

After spending about three hours talking to mom, I finally decide it's time to head home. When I get there I walk in and go to the fridge to get the milk. Not even bothering with a glass, I take a big chug. Then I notice my dad at the table. He has papers spread out all over. He hasn't worked from home in a while, and I can't help but be a bit nosey. "Whatcha doing?"

"Work."

"Anything I can help with?"

"You know, if you poured me an ounce of whiskey that would be awfully nice." I grab the bottle and a glass and go sit down at the table with him.

"Any new leads?" I reach for one of the papers, and dad slaps my hand away.

"Hey! You know I can't discuss that with you." I unscrew the cap of the bottle, "Not too much." And this is when I pretty much become the worst son in the world. I can see that he is working on all the unsolved murder cases, and I really need to know what is going on. Why Peter is killing all these people. I pour more than just a little into the glass. I can't believe that I am trying to get my dad drunk. Normally I am trying to do the opposite. After he finishes the glass he becomes much more talkative. "You know, Derek Hale would be a whole hale of a lot… A Hale of a lot?"

I help him out. "Hell of a lot?"

"Hell, yes. He would be a hell of a lot easier to catch if we could get an actual picture of him."

"How do you not have a picture of him?" He was arrested. Mug shot?

"It's the weirdest thing. It's like every time we try to get a mug shot, it's like two laser beams were pointing at the camera."

I take the picture from his hand. Most of his head is blocked by this bright light. "Nice." So keeping this.

"Oh, my God. Oh! God, that ounce hit me like a brick. And I have said way too much, and if you repeat any of that…"

"Dad… it's me. I'm not gonna say anything. Come on." I take a file and start going through the papers. One thing that sticks out is the deer with the spiral. Scott told me that it means vendetta, or revenge. It is the werewolf symbol for it. It has to be Peter who did it.

"See, the thing is they're all connected. I mean the bus driver that got killed, he was an insurance investigator assigned to the Hale house fire." I look over at the paper that states as such.

"'Terminated under the suspicion of fraud.'"

"Exactly."

"Who else?"

"The video store clerk who got his throat slashed… He's a convicted felon, history of arson."

"What about the other two guys, the guys who got killed in the woods?"

"Priors all over their records including…"

"Arson."

"So maybe they all had something to do with the fire." This line of thought is not reassuring. But I can see why Peter is going after all of them. I thought about giving dad another shot, but I think he has had enough, and I am pretty sure he will keep talking without it. We look over the papers for a few minutes in silence. I can tell there is more Dad wants to say, so I just sit patiently while he gets there. The fact that my leg is bouncing up and down like a pogo stick is going to go unnoticed for now.

"Oh, Stiles. There are just so many questions."

" Like what?"

"Like if Derek wanted to kill everyone involved in the fire, then why start with his sister? I mean, she had nothing to do with it. Why make it look like some kind of animal did it?" I really want to scream that he is innocent and that Scott was (and is) a dumbass when he blamed Derek for all of it. But I don't, I just keep bouncing my leg. "When that cougar ended up in the parking lot, I checked with animal control. You know the instances of wild animal reports have gone up 70% over the last few months? It's like they're just going crazy, running out of the woods. I don't know."

"Or something's scaring them out." I am getting really pissed off at Peter now. Not only is Derek taking the fall for all the murders he has committed, but he is also turning all of Beacon Hills upside down. I am shocked out of my anger by my dad's next words.

"You know, I miss talking to you. It's like we never have time. I do. I miss it. And I miss your mom."

He is looking at the table not really seeing things. He poured himself another glass while he was talking, and I didn't notice. He downed it before I could stop him. "What'd you say?" He goes to pour another glass, but I stop him. The guilt of getting him to drink in the first place is weighing on me hard now.

"Thanks." I take the bottle and put the cap back on and take it out to the kitchen. I bring him back a glass of water. He takes it and sips at it for a few minutes.

I want to say so much now; I always want to say so much. But this time it's different. He never talks about her. If she is brought up it is usually me, it's always me who does. I know it hurts him to talk about her, but I have never really had anyone else who knew her. Scott had only been my friend for a few years when she died, and dad is the only family I have. "I miss her too."

"I know you do kid." We both have tears in our eyes. "I know I haven't been there like I should have."

"Dad, you had to work. You-"

"No." he says this kind of forcefully. "I didn't have to work like I did. You raised yourself for so long. You have grown into a man, and I missed it. I never wanted that for you. But for a long time it hurt to look at you. You look so much like her. But by the time I realized that, you didn't need me, it was too late. And then you were the one taking care of me, when it should be the other way around."

"It's not too late dad. It's never too late."

He grabs me in a hug. This one is fiercer that the one we shared a few nights ago. It is desperate, and hard, unyielding. I might have bruises from it, but I don't care. He needs to know that I don't blame him. That I never blamed him and that I never will. "I am sorry too dad. I am sorry that I am such a disappointment. I try really hard to do the right thing. But that sometimes means that I can't tell the truth."

He pulls back and holds my shoulders in his hands, and my head hangs down. He pushes my chin up to look him in the eyes, "Son, you are not a disappointment. Sometimes you act before you think, but that is exactly how your mother was. I want you to tell me the truth; I want you to trust me."

"I do trust you dad. Believe me I do, I just can't." There is a hurt look in his eyes, but it bleeds into something else. Worry. I don't want him to worry, "If things ever get to be more than I can handle I promise I will tell you. But it isn't really my secret to tell. And I won't break their trust." I am only able to say this because I am fairly certain he won't remember this conversation in the morning. That makes it easier and harder all at once.

He sighs deeply. "Well if anything you are just a stubborn as I am. I can't fault you for that. Just please promise me that you won't get yourself killed."

I nod and hug him again, this time more gently, but still a Stalinksi hug. I am not sure that it is a promise I can come through on, but I am going to try my best. Knowing I have a few wolves in my corner helps, so things shouldn't get too bad. Right?

Then my phone goes off. It is Scott's ring tone, and dad knows it. "Go get it." He sits back down at the table. And I answer. He tells me that Peter is on a date with his mom and that he is going to turn her to use her against Scott. He is freaking out. Also Allison is there and wants to talk. But Peter first. So when he tells me he wants me to get in an accident on purpose, I stupidly agree.

…

I can lie really well sometimes and really shitty others. This would be one of those shitty times. Mrs. McCall is yelling at me while Peter is off seemingly talking to himself. I am pretty sure Scott is around here somewhere and that is who Peter is talking to. I can't see Scott though, I am more focused on talking to Mrs. McCall. I don't know how but I manage to keep her from calling the cops. Neither car is really damaged, just a few scratches, and I am sure Peter could care less. I doubt that it is even his car.

By the time I get back home it is late. And when I walk in the table is still a mess with all the papers dad was looking at. But he is not at the table. I walk into the living room to see him asleep on the couch. I know he is going to wake up tomorrow, not only with a hangover but with a few cramps as well. Maybe I can convince him to call in sick. I put a blanket on him and then go to the table to start putting stuff away. Then my phone starts ringing.

It's Allison. "Allison? What's up?"

"I am coming over to your house. We need to talk."

I am getting nervous. She has this edge to her voice that I can't quite place. "Okay? About what?"

"I know Stiles." Now I am really confused.

"Know what?"

"Werewolves, Stiles, I know about werewolves."