Chapter 10

I stared up into Logans goreous, smoldering hazel eyes. My hands were wrapped around his neck, and I was pressed up against his chest. One of his strong hands held on to my back, the other brushed a strand of hair out of my face. I relished the feel of his rough hands on my face, and I realized something.

You can't feel hallucinations.

I should have felt...something. Surprise at myself for actually doing all this, Embarrassment at how he really knew how I felt, or maybe even a bit of Fear. But lost in Logan's gorgeous dark brown eyes, all I really could feel was...was something I'd never felt before. It wasn't lust, but it did have a hint of it. The feeling was as if Logan had become a part of me, and if he ever...if he ever got hurt, that part of me could die, and even my healing factor couldn't stop it.

I buried my head in his chest, and mumbled,

"So this isn't a dream?"

He seemed surprised, but not at all offended. His hand ran down my back, and the feeling once again washed over me. He was a part of me. And in that instant, I knew what I had felt:

love.

On the way back to the X-Mansion, Logan rode on the motorcycle, (seeing as how cyclops' car was now scrap metal), with Adrian riding behind, pressed up against him, her hands on his waist for balance. He had realized how much she had felt for him, and an immense weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

A kiss was placed on his neck, and he once again felt the overwhelming sense of protectiveness and love that he had felt back at road. It seemed ironic...he had found love where a horrific fight had raged. But he didn't care.

The ride back to the school took almost no time at all, or so it seemed. The rest of the mutants, particularly Xavier, were relieved that I had survived. All though Cyclops wasn't too thrilled that his car was crushed, Jean was happy, so so was he. It quickly became apparent to everyone that Logan and I were an item. I've got to admit, he and I spent much too much time together. There was hardly a moment when he didn't have an arm around my waist, keeping me protected, marking me as his own. Storm seemed slightly surprised, and Xavier had seemed to already know we'd end up together. (Once again, I repeat that I do not trust telepaths, and so of course felt suspicious).

Jean seemed happy, but Scott seemed relieved. I guess I couldn't blame him, seeing as how it would be hard to keep a girlfreind with Logan around. Still, relief wasn't changing the hostility. I'd noticed Scott had a total dislike for Logan from the begginging, and I guessed the reason he seemed to have an automatic distrust towards me was the fact that Logan and I shared the same powers and claws.

Even with the comfort of Logan holding on my waist, something kept tugging on my conscious. It was what really had happened, that night when I was knocked unconscious. All I could remember was blinding rage, Logan in pain, the old man I was sure was Magneto, Sabretooth's putrid scent, and an immense light before my eyes, and...I blacked out. Xavier was especially interested, and concerned. I knew I needed to get help to find out what had really happened, so I agreed to let Xavier pick my brains. There wasn't much to hide, now. Though unfortunetly, he couldn't get much.

I often went back to the clearing. It was wonderful because I could think with clarity without having all of the haze and confusion that usually was thrown around in my mind. Logan often joined me, mostly because he went wherever I went. It kind of defeated the purpose though, because you couldn't help but be distracted when you were next to someone like Logan.

Logan knew Adrian was in the clearing where she always seemed to be, laying on the soft grass as she breathed in the fresh air that surrounded her. Sure enough, Logan found her relaxing, leaning against an old fir. He walked next to her and sat down, watching how her chest rose and fell with each breath. She seemed as though she was in complete equilibrium, at peace with herself and that which was around her.

She turned over, her eyes half closed. She looked up and met his hazel eyes with inquiry. Logan raised an eyebrow. She smirked and breathed in a deep breath. Adrian looked up at the deep blue sky, starting to turn purple as the sun set.

"Do you know what happened?" she asked. Logan turned, confused. "I mean, what happened when...I did whatever it was I did. When Magneto showed up." Logan shuddered as he remembered the hatred that had burned through her eyes. He turned back to Adrian, whos eyes showed no hint of the hostility they had had before. They were glazed over, looking into the purple sky. Logan didn't answer. The truth was that he had no idea what had happened. That idea, that he didn't know what had happened and had no way of protecting her was torture to his soul. He reached over and put his arm around her waist. He might not be able to protect her if that ever happened again, but he could keep her safe now.

I felt Logan put a hand around my waist, and I rolled over onto his chest. I lightly pressed my lips to his. Logan pressed back, harder. I ran my hands through his tangle of dark hair as he ran a hand down my back. I kissed him faster, and felt him push me forward, so we were crammed together, frantically kissing each other.

I felt love. I felt lust. I felt fullfilment. I felt pure pleasure. I felt...something go off in the back of my head once again. Like a miniture firecracker. It gave me a feeling unlike my others...not happy...like panic. It slowly filled me, making me more and more panicked by the second. I felt like I was going to drown. A wave of sheer terror washed over me... I needed to get out! Escape! I was going to die if I didn't run! I had to defend myself!

I didn't know what was happening. It was horrible, a feeling like I would be crushed to death if I didn't escape...but escape from what?! Logan had noticed my panicked expression and darting eyes, and was holding my arms at the elbows firmly. I looked around, my eyes darting for some escape route. Gotta get out! Gotta get out! My arms were stuck. Another wave of terror. I felt a crushing on my ribcage. Dazed, terrified, and confused, I unsheathed my claws.

I heard a yell which terrified me even more. My eyes turned toward Logan. His arms were bleeding where my claws had impaled. Another emotion built up in my mind, and it was even worse than the panic.

It was hatred.

I looked at Logan, my soul torn in two. The hatred was building. One part screamed at me: Attack him! He's what's causing this panic! The other screamed back: You love him! Don't do this! I felt confused, angry, like I was going to throw up. My eyes were blurring as they darted. I felt his rough hand grab my wrist. I snapped.

Immediatly, through all this confusion in my mind, my instincts took over. My right arm plunged its claws into his shoulder. The other grabbed the tree to pull myself up as quickly as possible. I looked down in terror at Logan, blood streaming out of the gash I had made. What was I doing! What had I done?!

The unexplainable anger was still there, but seeing Logan in pain like that had brought me back to my senses. My breath caught in my throat as I swerved around and ran. I had to get out of here. I had to.